Tee-hee!

An attorney and loyal Atlanta Braves fan by the name of Paul J. Kaplan, outraged at his team’s loss to “a bunch of California liberals,” penned an absolutely hilarious letter to his representative, Rep. Jack Kingston, demanding that congressional action be taken to reverse the results of the score.

As Kaplan is aware, his proposed solution “may sound unconventional, but we can no longer afford to play baseball as usual…. Allowing (the Los Angeles Dodgers) to impose their left-coast values on our post-season play is ruining America.”

From the letter:

“This outrage cannot be allowed to stand. But the system has failed us. We tried to resolve this issue through traditional means: In last night’s game alone, we must have sent batters to the plate at least 40 times. But just because we couldn’t score enough runs, the Dodgers refuse to relinquish the title—and worse, they won’t even discuss it….

LA’s stubborn refusal to even talk to us about reversing the results of this series is unsportsmanlike and unAmerican. But there is an answer: If the Dodgers won’t listen to the cries of average Americans like you and me, then Congress should outlaw Major League Baseball until the Dodgers cave….

Just because the Dodgers had more hits, scored more runs and won more games doesn’t make them right. You can help them see that. And if that means the country will be deprived of its national pastime—well, the Dodgers will have only themselves to blame.”

Naturally, Fox Sports sought a response, and the conservative Congressman or someone on his staff took a swing at it… and missed the ball entirely.

“I agree with you that Republicans and the Braves have much in common. You could say that the Republicans ‘Bravely’ take on tough issues such as defunding Obamacare and trying to curtail runaway spending. And we don’t mind clearing the dugout for a good brawl. We also agree that Dodgers is a fitting name for the Democrats as they often ‘Dodge’ serious issues such as balancing the budget or cutting spending.”

 

 
You find a larger version of Kaplan’s full letter here.