Donald Trump takes a fatal shit on ‘Too Dumb For Suicide: Tim Heidecker’s Trump Songs’
09:02 am
Donald Trump takes a fatal shit on ‘Too Dumb For Suicide: Tim Heidecker’s Trump Songs’

A year to the day in the making, Tim Heidecker’s Donald Trump protest numbers have been collected together as a new album Too Dumb For Suicide: Tim Heidecker’s Trump Songs.

While some people find themselves sapped of the will to live by Donald Trump, Heidecker clearly finds him creatively inspiring, albeit in a bitter/rancorous sense. Steadily rolled out since that dark day the most horrible human being of all time managed to squeak into the White House and get handed the nuclear football, Heidecker says “Most of these songs were written and recorded quickly, with the blood still boiling from whatever indignity or absurdity had popped up on my newsfeed that day.”

Too Dumb For Suicide features a credible Elvis Costello pastiche about POTUS squeezing out a toxic and painful black KFC turd and ultimately dying whilst taking a shit on his gilded toilet; an inspiring number about beating neo-Nazi goofball Richard Spencer about the face and neck; an explication in jaunty song about what exactly it will take to make America great again and a beautifully-backhanded Randy Newman-esque “tribute” to Trump’s weasel-like Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross. There’s even a cover version “bonus track” of Heidecker’s “Trump’s Private Pilot” by Josh Tillman doing his very best Father John Misty impression as a pilot ready to sacrifice himself for the good of the human race and asking everyone to support a Kickstarter for his kids.

Too Dumb For Suicide is all this and more, although noted weenie Paul Simon refused to allow “I Am A Cuck” (an alt-right take-off on his “I Am A Rock”) to be included. I asked Heidecker a few questions via email.

Dangerous Minds: Is it safe to assume that you don’t really like Donald Trump all that much?

Tim Heidecker: What’s to like? He’s everything we’re taught not to be.  But he’s also totally absurd and very funny to me. So I reflect those two sides; some funny stuff, but also some very dark stuff.

Tell me how you really feel…

Tim Heidecker: It’s all broken and pointless and folks should start thinking about living in the woods again.

Do you know if Elvis Costello has heard “Imperial Bathroom”? I really liked that one and the idea of Trump pinching a fatal loaf and all. Is the organ used on that one an actual Vox, like Steve Neive used?

Tim Heidecker: I do not know if he’s heard it. If he has Google Alerts enabled it might have come up on his feed. I originally wrote it as a McCartney-esqe little bouncy bopper, but when I took it over to Jonathan Rado’s garage we turned it into a rocker. I’m not sure if it’s an actual Vox but it sure is close. I was jumping with joy at having Rado dial in the Neive sound, and I did my best Costello sneer.

What’s the deal with Paul Simon? He’s got a reputation for being a dickhead. Is he some kind of a cuck, too?

Tim Heidecker: I don’t know. I know we asked and he (or his publishing company?) said no. What’s the big deal, Paul? Yeah I heard he’s a massive prick. Why don’t these guys lighten up? Who cares anymore?

Do you have a message for all of the cuckservatives crushing their Keurig® Coffee Makers?

Tim Heidecker: Smash your own property away!

How did the Father John Misty cover version happen?

Tim Heidecker: I don’t know! One day someone just sent me the link to his cover. I had never met him before but was a fan. I was truly moved by it and felt a decent sense of satisfaction to be treated as a songwriting peer.

A portion of the proceeds from Too Dumb For Suicide: Tim Heidecker’s Trump Songs will be donated to suicide prevention organizations. Tim Heidecker is currently on trial for murder.

Posted by Richard Metzger
09:02 am



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