What do you think Perez Hilton would draw on this photo?

When Lauren Drain, 27, a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church hate group sat down with The Advocate to discuss her new book recently she revealed her belief that “something” had happened—something, let’s face it, that is TOTALLY EASY TO BELIEVE—in his past that inspired “church” founder Fred Phelps’ vicious anti-gay crusade:

I never understood why, when [the media asked him], “Why are you so against the homosexuals? Did you have a homosexual experience? Do you have homosexual tendencies?” And he would get so mad, he would shut down. And he’d be like, “I can’t talk to this person anymore, they’re stupid.” His reaction to that was stronger than any other question you can ask him. So I always wondered that — why does he get so mad? If I’m not gay, I’ll just say I’m not gay. And I’m not going to freak out, like, “Why are you calling me gay?” I always thought that was super strange. … I don’t know what happened there, so [speculation] is all that I can leave it at. But something happened, and something made him change his mind about the military, and in turn have kind of a crusade against sexual immorality and homosexuals.

No gasps from the peanut gallery? Nope, none at all.

Drain’s book, Banished: Surviving My Years in the Westboro Baptist Church, describes her childhood growing up with Westboro nutters after her father became obsessed with the group and moved his family to Kansas to be nearer to the Phelps family.