An image paints a thousand words..or in this case just one…
 
It’s February. Time for the corporations to make some money selling Valentine’s Day cards and heart-shaped candy to lovers, couples, lonely-hearts and creeps for a made-up “holiday.”

Not that I’m cynical about these things. But to be frank, the only card I really want to see on the fourteenth of this month is your credit card so I can max it to the hilt.

Now, I know you’re gonna say Valentine’s Day is fun, Valentine’s Day is romantic, it gives lotsa lonely guys the chance to stalk women they don’t know yet. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is all good. So if you do dig Valentine’s Day then you might appreciate these inappropriate vintage cards which look like the kind of thing nice weirdoes and freaks sent their loved ones in the past.
 

How did this even get published?
 

You know this guy’s a serial killer, right?
 

Cop with a gun card—what could go wrong?
 

Snow comment….
 

For the jealous stalker in your life.
 

My that’s one big canon you got there, sonny….
 

Ice maiden or corpse?
 

Serial killer.
 

Come again?
 

Cannibal.
 

And again.
 

Roadkill or one for the J. G. Ballard fan.
 

Psycho.
 

This is how it starts. And it ends with ‘Put the lotion in the basket…’
 

For the animal lover in your life….
 

That was a gun in his pocket.
 

Bunny boiler.
 

Blackmail.
 

Back to the old masturbation for you….
 
Via Vintage Valentine Museum, Pop Cereal, Contented Sparrow,  Thersic, Clipart Queen and Buzzfeed.