Little Kim is reputedly a tightly wound arrogant alcoholic with a fetish for military gear, fast cars, platform shoes and Daffy Duck videos just like his dead daddy. This pudgy mouth-breather is Kim Jong-il’s Mini-Me without the Dr. Evil allure.

He has the yeasty puffiness of the Pillsbury Dough Boy and the slightly dazed look of an overweight baby that’s just wet its bed. With a bit of leather trim and a touch of brocade, he might be mistaken for one of Hitler’s ottomans, a comfortable foot rest where a pair of shiny black jackboots might find a perfect nesting place.

Let’s hope the lil’ dick-tator doesn’t do something real stupid to prove he’s a tough guy. Things get ugly when one of of these elevator-shoe-wearin’ autocrats try to over-compensate for their size and start gettin’ all nuclear and shit. Plus, the dude’s only 28-years-old. Has he even been laid? If you’re unfucked, you have no business being anywhere near a nuclear device. Sex, along with a good meal and rock and roll, makes life worth living. A virgin Pillsbury Dough Boy with his finger on the button is the stuff of nightmares.

We don’t need no fascist groove thang.