Stop me if you heard this one before: Meet 25-year-old Clearwater, Florida (natch) resident William Timothy Anderson Thomas who allegedly vandalized a home and then told cops he had “listened to too much music” and masturbated “too much,” which apparently caused him to feel like “going out and destroying stuff.”
Isn’t it supposed to work the other way around? Men! Florida men!
From the ____:
Largo police officers responded to a home at 2066 N. Belcher Rd. around 2 p.m. on April 8 after someone reported seeing a man smashing a mailbox.
When police arrived at the home, they say they found William Timothy Anderson Thomas, 25 on the property, shirtless and covered in dirt.
According to an arrest affidavit, a trailer tire had been flattened, a window on the house was broken, and a mailbox, a real estate sign and a garden angel were completely destroyed.
According to police, Thomas admitted to the crimes and destroying the property. “He also stated he had listened to too much music and masturbated too much.” What odd details to volunteer to officers of the law, I think we can all agree?
Thomas was arrested and booked in the Pinellas County Jail with the bond set at $7,000.
What I’m really dying to know is WHAT WAS THOMAS LISTENING TO???
Whitehouse? Mötley Crüe? The most recent Hanson album? I’ll bet it was something especially sick.