‘Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse’: The Warlock Pinchers hate Moz, but love them some Satan

I first discovered the Warlock Pinchers while working at a record store in East LA. Buried among the piles of LPs that circulated through the store daily was what I personally consider to be one of my most treasured “finds”: the delightfully titled record, Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse. Nowadays, the lack of impulse record shopping doesn’t allow for much discoverability. I’m guilty of it, too—it’s much too easy to see an album that looks kinda cool staring back at you from the bin, but then to preview it online before you would consider buying. I guess that’s what happens as the $$$ sticker-shock for rarer records sets in. Needless to say, when someone wanted to sell off their copy of Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse, I have no choice but to blindly take the dive.

The Warlock Pinchers sound like a blend of Big Black, Butthole Surfers, and the Beastie Boys; all presented in a fury of adolescent shenanigans. The punk hip-hop pranksters and self-proclaimed “Official Sound of Satan” were the kind of people who enjoyed pissing off their fans—and if you weren’t a fan, then “fuck you!”

Sharing a record label with the Melvins, opening for the likes of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and once having had their record reviewed by Damon Albarn for NME, sadly the band did not pick up much steam outside of their hometown of Denver, Colorado. If anything, their alleged commitment to the devil was the one thing that helped give them some form of notoriety outside of their local scene, as if spraying flames around small clubs and giving their audiences muffins and pancakes wasn’t quite enough.

Blur reviews Warlock Pinchers at the NME office, 1991

Fire by Nite was a Christian youth variety program that operated out of Tulsa, Oklahoma in the late eighties. By presenting in a context of “relatable” youth material, the show oftentimes tackled highly controversial subjects that have plagued (or improved) the lives of many young Christians, namely drugs, sex, and the devil. “Satanism Unmasked” was a multi-part special that saw the “real-life” testimonies of self-confessed former Satanists like Mike Warnke (later disputed as a fraud) and Lauren Stratford (ditto), and hosted a bizarre conversation with convicted murderer, Sean Sellers. Slayer is spoken about briefly, but they are quickly dethroned as a bunch of charlatans; using the devil for their own shock-value appeal.

The highlight is the exposé of Warlock Pinchers, who dismiss Jesus as the real source of evil, in favor of Satan, “the good guy.” As it goes, no one is ever safe from the devil’s temptation. Fire by Night host Blaine Bartel himself has recently overcome a crippling addiction to pornography. Keep that in mind as you watch the segment in mention below.

“Do you guys really believe in Satan or is it a big gimmick?” “He’s cool.”

The Warlock Pinchers wonder “Where the Hell is Crispin Glover?” (Crispin Glover was unknowingly recruited into the band and, subsequently, never showed-up for practice.)

“The Island of Misfit Toyboys” video.

“Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse”

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘Shut Up, Devil!’ smartphone app: The power to silence Satan ... in your pocket!
‘The Devil’s Apricot’: Meet the man who puts Satanic messages into songs
When satanic serial killer Richard Ramirez terrorized Willis from ‘Diff’rent Strokes’

Posted by Bennett Kogon
12:39 pm



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