Uggggggggh. I love beer, and I love punk rock. I understand the peanut butter and chocolate impulses we sometimes have (often when we’re drunk) to combine our favorite things, but this is just such a bummer. I get it! I sympathize with these plucky brewers! I understand that it’s difficult to brand your product—especially when it’s a product that has existed for at least 10,000 years. However, can we stop trying to squeeze the last bit of cultural capital out of a word that has long-since lost its automatic credibility? I mean there was that abominable couture show at the Met, and people are still trying to get mileage out of “punk”???

What if we just picked another genre? What about New Wave beer? Deep Chicago House Ale? Freak Folk Lager? I sincerely doubt those movements would inspire such a cringe-inducing marketing campaign as this one:

Welcome to a post Punk apocalyptic mother fucker of a pale ale.

A beer that spent its formative years Blitzkrieg bopping around India and the sub continent. Quintessential Empire with an anarchic twist.

God save the Queen and all who sail in her. Raising a Stiff Little Finger to IPAs that have come before and those it is yet to meet.

Turn up the volume Pay the man. Embrace the punked up, fucked up outlaw elite.

Never Mind the Bollocks this is the real shit.

Fuck you.

If I ever drink another craft brew IPA again, it will be too soon (I used to live in the midwest—lotta’ hobby brewers in the hinterlands). This beer does seem to be pretty delicious, at least according to this charmingly eccentric German beer connoisseur. And hey, if you can’t trust charmingly eccentric German beer connoisseurs, society is truly bereft of authenticity.