Yesterday on the Sparks official Facebook presence there appeared a picture of an item that was published in the Independent (UK) newspaper on February 13 of this year, as part of a feature called “My Fantasy Band.” The selected musical superstar that appeared in the paper to announce his dream lineup that day was Ron Mael of Sparks, and in true Sparks fashion, his selections were hilarious, not without insight, and just a touch bizarre.
Here’s the lineup:
Vocals: Marvin Gaye, Maria Callas
Drums: Tony Williams
Guitars: Link Wray, Dick Dale
Bass: Charles Mingus
Synths/Keys: George Gershwin
Backing Vocals: The Swingle Sisters
Merchandise: IKEA
Quite the jazz-heavy lineup, eh? Mael describes Tony Williams, a longtime drummer for Miles Davis, as “the Keith Moon of jazz drummers.” Wray and Dale are “totally incompatible and thus perfect for the ideal band.”
Mael’s reasons for picking Mingus on bass are refreshingly non-musical, in that he is “the only musician, as far as I know, who co-wrote the liner notes for one of his albums with his psychiatrist.” George Gershwin’s talents as a performer are largely unknown, but he is one of the 20th century’s greatest composers, and also he’s, ahem, “equally great at playing piano and throwing parties.” Personally, I chuckle at the notion of Gershwin playing “synths,” an instrument that, with his perishing in 1937 and all, would have made difficult for him to master. Switched on Gershwin, anybody?
It’s doubtful whether the other personages taking part in the Independent’s musical parlor games have isolated who should be responsible for merch, but Mael has given the matter some thought, opting to replace the usual T-shirts with perhaps a MALM nighttime slumber apparatus (bed) or an EKTORP multi-posterior placement device (sofa) from IKEA: “As you struggled to assemble the monstrosity, you would reflect back on what a great time you had at the gig.”
Come to think of it, MAEL sounds suspiciously like an IKEA product line, doesn’t it? And aren’t Sparks big in Sweden?
Perhaps Mael was sneakily signaling his disdain for the world of rock and roll with which he is so precariously aligned? After all, his band features a legendary opera soprano, two well-known players from the jazz world, a Tin Pan Alley composer ... and not a single rock figure who started his or her productive years after 1958.
Here’s Sparks playing “When I’m With You” on a French children’s show in 1974. No evidence of Mingus anywhere. I have a feeling that OK Go is familiar with this cut, doncha think?
h/t: Ned Raggett
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Paul McCartney spoofs Ron Mael of Sparks, 1980
Big Beat: Watch a complete Sparks concert from 1976