Ever since the early years of this century, the affable punk singer Eddie Argos has pioneered a cocky and brash form of nice-guy humility, which he has often employed to brilliant effect; in his best-known combo, Art Brut, he used it to uncork a lively array of undeniable comic gems, including “Formed a Band,” “Direct Hit,” and most especially “Good Weekend.” His projects often sport names with a sloganeering quality, as with Everybody Was In The French Resistance ... Now! His online shop where he sometimes sells his own slapdash but not incompetent paintings at reasonable prices (I purchased one not long ago) is called Lo Fi Punk Rock Motherfucker.
The Argos project with the unwieldiest name may not even have all that much Argos in it—for the record, its name is Keith Top of the Pops & His Minor UK Indie Celebrity All-Star Backing Band, featuring, bafflingly, none other than Keith Top of the Pops. Legend (er, Wikipedia) has it that the band formed on the night of Art Brut’s first gig in New York City, during which one of the opening acts failed to materialize and the band’s producer, Keith Mahony, stepped in and did his damnedest. It was instantly agreed that a “rotating” band featuring Mahony would be formed, which unit would forswear the need for both rehearsals and soundchecks. Luke Haines, Sarah Nixey, Charlotte Hatherley and many others are reportedly part of the collective.
Demure cover art for Keith TOTP’s first album
On Sunday, the Twitter feed of Keith TOTP (as they are sometimes shortened) spit forth a delightful little ditty called “If You Want Twee (You Got It),” which is simultaneously a likely contender for novelty song of the year, a great song, a great takedown song, and fodder for the best music video I’ve seen in years.
Yesterday Argos cheekily linked to the song in a tweet, praising one of the couplets and calling it “fucking great.” He isn’t wrong.
On the YouTube page for the video we are informed that the song is on the “upcoming album Livin’ The Dream,” which hasn’t been released yet but will be “SOON!” I assure you that I’m going to buy that fucking thing.
Full lyrics for the song are available below.
If You Want Twee (You Got It)
And so we don’t fit your criteria
You’d really like it, if you ever hear it, yeah?
If you want twee, you got it
Who’ve you got on your lineup?
Do you really think that that’ll do?
Four nylon strings, a Hello Kitty badge
And the truth
If you want twee, you got it
You see that band in their school uniforms?
What do you think they’re trying to prove?
You can buy their brand of tea cozies
You can buy their fifth-rate tunes
If you want twee, you got it
Just fuck off with your ukulele orchestra!
Just fuck off!
And so we don’t fit your criteria
You’d really like it, if you ever hear it, yeah?
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Art Brut: DC Comics and a Chocolate Milkshake