I can’t put my finger on what it is exactly that I find so off-putting about Woody Allen in a series of commercials for Seibu, a Japanese department store. Cinematically, the appeal is very Warholian—watching a celebrity in a sparse setting, engaging in simple, mundane activities. It’s just that in this case, they’re very Japanese activities. Maybe it’s the idea of Woody Allen representing a brand? I like some of his films, but frankly, I’m never going to buy something because Woody Allen told me to. My distaste for celebrity endorsement aside, he’s not a guy many would ask for shopping tips outside of Zabar’s.

Maybe it’s weird because it’s a Japanese brand, and Woody Allen seems so uniquely culture-specific. Large swaths of Middle America don’t even like Woody Allen, but in Asia he was hawking the Japanese equivalent of Bloomingdale’s? From what I can tell from Seibu’s original press statements, Japan wasn’t even particularly aware of Woody Allen at the time! Seibu’s executives said they wanted someone who was an “adult” to represent their brand. One said “being good-looking is not enough.” You’ll note that Allen’s name is never mentioned in the spots. It’s amusing to wonder if he was hired more for being a “funny looking white guy” than for being Woody Allen.

Did Seibu break Woody in Japan? If so, what do they like better, Annie Hall or Love and Death? How does Woody Allen translate?  I simply must know more!