Credit: Dangerous Minds / United States Department of Health and Human Services / Becca)

So, fun fact, the whole modern idea of “brain worms” comes from Robert Kennedy Jr.

It’s true, though, whether it really counts as a “fun” fact is up for debate. The whole idea that insane, fascistic ideas begin to permeate because of worms getting into your very brain matter and eating important parts of it came from the very mouth of the man who is currently the sitting United States Secretary of Health and Human Services. It’s the kind of information that just puts a spring in your step, right? Preferably into the path of an oncoming train.

That said, credit where credit’s due, that expression is just about the only thing this fascist, conspiracy theorist failson has farted into this world that’s of any worth whatsoever.

Now, let’s ignore the fact that life has already been kinder to Robert Kennedy Jr than it ever should be and extend him the kind of grace he’ll never extend anyone. He’s the son of Robert F Kennedy and nephew of John F Kennedy. Those are some big shoes for anyone to fill.

However, since both men were dead by the time their idiot spawn turned 14, they could rest in blissful ignorance without knowing what shame and abject humiliation their immediate legacy would bring to their family name. Time and time again, RFK Jr has proven himself to be an abject fraud for more or less his entire adult life. Wiping his arse with the Kennedy family name by associating it with conspiracy theories like vaccine misinformation, HIV/Aids denial and chemtrails.

What does Robert Kennedy Jr mean by brain worms?!

This is despite the fact that, by his own admission, he has had a history of cognitive problems and memory loss.

This was revealed in a divorce deposition of all things, because when it comes to Robert Kennedy Jr, it can always get more embarrassing, I guess. He admitted to this reduced mental capacity under oath and blamed it on a parasitic worm that got into his skull, ate a portion of his brain, and then died. No word as to whether it’s still there, but probably.

So… how in God’s name does this happen?

Kennedy himself pointed to one option in a profile written in The New Yorker. About a decade ago, Kennedy was driving to a falconry outing (man of the people, right?) and spotted the carcass of a black bear cub by the roadside. For one reason or another, Kennedy was truly thrilled by this discovery and insisted on taking the rotting corpse with them on their trip. Loading it into the trunk of his car and snapping a “playful” photo of him with his hand in the dead bear’s mouth.

The man in charge of the welfare of the most powerful country in the world stuck his hand into a dead bear’s mouth, leading to a parasite that caused him permanent brain damage. God help us all. It gets even weirder, though, as Kennedy got the bright idea to drive the rotting corpse into Manhattan and drop it off in the middle of Central Park, leaving a bicycle next door to it. He apparently wanted to make it look like the bear had been killed by an errant cyclist.

The timeline doesn’t line up for this, though. This whole pathetic display took place in 2014, while the statement about his mental faculties came through a few years earlier in 2012, which checks out. Because after all, brain worms aren’t a literal problem. Stupid fucking rich people ruining everyone’s lives very much are.