‘Sledgehammer’: How the worst horror movie in history refuses to die
Sometimes, being a fan of low-budget horror films means you have to give credit where it might actually not be due.
After all, there’s a market for micro-budget horror flicks in a way that there isn’t for basically any other genre of film. Sure, if you look hard enough, you can find slice-of-life dramas and the occasional rom-com made for 20 quid and a tub of Pringles, but the chances of them getting noticed in the way that a decent micro-budget horror flick will are slim to none. Thus, any budding director with more ambition than cash can churn out a horror picture for next to nothing and have a pretty decent chance of getting it noticed.
The problem is that this low barrier to entry means that a number of the films being made will be bad. Really, really bad. Bless their cotton socks, just because someone has the drive and the application to make a film doesn’t mean that it’s going to be good, or even interesting. The vast, vast majority of these pictures absolutely honk. Amateurly directed, bafflingly written, painfully acted pieces of garbage that weren’t even the fun kind of bad.
The problem is that sometimes, you get a horror film that goes even beyond being so bad it’s good. You can get a horror film that’s so amateurly made it goes right back to being… kind of effective? The kind of dross that can have some genuinely creepy moments scattered here and there. Almost as living proof of the “thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters” theory. In no way does it make the film good, and in no way was it intentional, but there’s definitely something there.
Arguably the most infamous example of this is the 1983 slasher flick (perhaps that should be “smasher” flick) Sledgehammer. A film that is 90% of one of the worst films ever made, and 10% some genuinely memorable scares that feel right at home in the modern horror scene.
What kind of horror film is ‘Sledgehammer’?
Saying this kind of stuff brings to mind the intro of this fair article. If, for some bizarre reason, you stick with Sledgehammer on the strength of half an article of me telling you it’s mostly wank with some good moments, then first off, you are very, very kind. Second of all, you’ll probably get about two minutes in before asking what I’m on and whether you can have some.
In fairness to myself, probably the best state to watch this film in is altered. It makes you ignore the amateurish… well, basically everything. All of it, from the acting to the writing, even the set dressing (or total lack of it), makes this look like it was directed by someone who’d only ever read about horror movies in a book without pictures. The nonsensical plot concerns a boy who kills his abusive mother and her boyfriend, then haunts a group of teenagers who hold a seance at the house where it happened.
The boy haunts them, that is. Despite being a grown man now, except he’s also dead. A change we never see happen, and the people we do see die in pretty gruesome detail at the start (the first sign that there’s some effective moments here), are a non-factor in the rest of the story. Confused? The film won’t make it any easier for you. Except there are a few moments where everything slows down, and the genuinely disturbing image of the gigantic star of the film Ted Prior walking down an empty corridor in that horrific, clear plastic mask feels genuinely nightmarish.
Was it intentional? Not really, half the film is in slow motion to pad out the running time, in true Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace style. Yet that’s the joy of horror. No matter how bad it can get, if there’s something effective in there, it’s undeniable.