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Santa knows when you’ve been wanking: Rude and offensive Christmas cards (NSFW)
12.08.2017
10:01 am
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It’s almost the Holidays. That cheery time of year when tempers are short and credit cards are maxed out. When the office party ends with a harassment suit, and the bars spill forth with amateur drinkers throwing-up on the sidewalk.

Bollocks, it’s Christmas.

Whatever your plans for this festive season, I’m sure there will come a point when you’ll have to add your signature to a card offering seasonal greetings and all good wishes for the New Year. It now seems mandatory that alongside the traditional cozy snow scenes, robin redbreasts, and fat jolly Santas emptying their sacks are the usual array of offensively rude and funny cards. This year’s batch features the expected selection of four lettered words and inappropriate suggestions which for many of us is no doubt more relevant than “peace on Earth and goodwill to all men.”

If the thought of sending a “Fuck Christmas” card to family and loved ones opens a door on your Advent calendar then take a sleigh ride here or here to see what’s availble this holiday season. But as it may already be too late to order some of these fine things, here’s a fine selection to see what comfort and joy you’re missing out on.
 
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Many more rude Christmas cards, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.08.2017
10:01 am
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Amusing rock-themed Christmas cards
11.29.2016
10:35 am
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Nick Cave Grinderman card
 
I’m not really a holiday card person. In fact, I never send anyone holiday cards. My parents get one, but that’s about it. However, I’m digging these rock-themed Christmas cards by Etsy shop The Fidorium. They’re different from the usual suspects you get in the mail from relatives and friends. They stand out, in my opinion.

The Nick Cave “Grincherman” card referencing “Jubilee Street” is funny. I’m pretty sure that would go over a lot of my relatives’ heads, but who cares? It’s a great card.

If you’re interested in any of these, I’ve provided a link underneath each one.


Inside of Nick Cave Grinderman card
 

Johnny Marr Smiths card.
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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11.29.2016
10:35 am
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Bizarre and inexplicable vintage Christmas cards
12.17.2015
01:18 pm
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Like the cartoons in The New Yorker where the captions often have scant relevance to their illustrations, these vintage Christmas cards seem perversely at odds with the intended holiday spirit. Krampus terrorizes a young boy. A frog robs and murders a fellow amphibian. A dead robin (apparently) signifies joyful wishes. A polar bear prepares to devour an unwitting explorer, while an emu inspects its prey. What are we to make of these cards—other than to surmise that humor does not age well?

With our incessant social media, email, Twitter and alike, we still like to send and receive cards. In 2014, the UK spent over two billion dollars on greetings cards, a nice little earner. Having spent the morning writing seasonal cards to various friends and family, I find my glittered pictures of snow scenes and Christmas lights pale beside this little mailbag of festive cheer.
 
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I think the robin is saying, ‘Come sunrise, you’re fucked Frosty.’
 
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Not quite sure why this would be a ‘Merry Christmas.’ More like death of the old year and on with the new, right?
 
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Like villagers in a ‘Frankenstein’ movie, the birds are coming to get you…
 
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Frogs symbolize prosperity and good luck. So what does a dead frog portend then?
 
More oddball vintage seasonal greetings, after the jump…

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.17.2015
01:18 pm
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Heavy metal heroes Christmas cards!
12.09.2015
12:11 pm
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If you haven’t sent out your holiday cards yet, might I suggest these nifty metal hero Christmas cards instead? Confuse the Hell out of your relatives with ‘em. Each order contains all three cards with colored envelopes. The watermarks will not appear on cards. 

Get them for around $10 here.


Three wise guys?
 

“For unto us this day, a King Diamond is born!”

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.09.2015
12:11 pm
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Terry Gilliam’s dark Christmas animation from 1968
12.08.2015
09:09 am
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Terry Gilliam’s Christmas card of 2011, as posted to his Facebook page.

Terry Gilliam moved to London in 1967 after having paid his dues on a cutting-edge satirical magazine in the United States called Help! that was run by former MAD honcho Harvey Kurtzman. Gilliam actually met John Cleese while at Help!, having created a fumetto (photographic cartoon) featuring the gangly Brit. While in London, Gilliam worked as an art director for London Life and eventually—famously—transitioned into doing cutout animations for TV shows. 

As Gilliam described it to Paul Wardle in an interview included in the informative volume Terry Gilliam: Interviews, he was lucky to meet a TV producer with an acute eye for illustrating talent:
 

John [Cleese] had established himself in television, and he introduced me to a guy named Humphrey Barclay, who was a producer. What he was producing at the time was a show called Do Not Adjust Your Set, a children’s show that Michael Palin, Terry Jones, and Eric Idle were writing and performing. The great thing was that Humphrey was an amateur cartoonist. What he liked more than the written material that I was offering him were my cartoons. So he took pity on me and bought a couple of my written sketches, and forced them on Mike, Terry, and Eric, much to their chagrin, because it was their show. Then this loud-mouthed loud-dressing American turns up and starts invading their pitch.

 

 
In The Pythons: Autobiography by the Pythons Gilliam described his strategy for the assignment—important because this may have been the initial spark for his method, which would become much more widely known and admired when his animations turned up as the transitional bits in the Monty Python’s Flying Circus TV shows as well as essential elements of all of the Python movies:
 

I went down to the Tate and they’ve got a huge collection of Victorian Christmas cards so I went through the collection and photocopied things and started moving them around. So the style just developed out of that rather than any planning being involved. I never analysed the stuff, I just did it the quickest, easiest way. And I could use images I really loved.

 
It’s astonishing how mature the style seems—almost fully formed, one might say. It’s difficult to detect any real difference between this animation, executed in 1968, and the many he did for Monty Python’s Flying Circus from 1969 to 1974.
 

 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Terry Gilliam animations that were left out of ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’
Terry Gilliam’s title sequence for ‘Cry of the Banshee’ (with Vincent Price) 1970

Posted by Martin Schneider
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12.08.2015
09:09 am
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Salvador Dali’s Christmas cards
12.24.2013
12:35 pm
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Salvador Dali designed a series of nineteen Christmas cards between 1958 and 1976. These greeting cards were specially produced for the Barcelona-based company Hoechst Ibérica, and presented Dali’s take on traditional Christmas celebrations.

While popular in Spain, Dali’s greeting cards were not as successful in America, particularly with card manufacturer Hallmark, who thought his “surrealist take on Christmas proved a bit too avant garde for the average greeting card buyer.”
Rebecca M. Bender, Assistant Professor of Spanish Language and Literature has written a fascinating blog with more pictures of Dali’s festive work, which you can view here.

Happy Holidays!
 
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Christmas 1974
 
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Christmas 1960
 
More Dalinian holiday greetings, after the jump…

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.24.2013
12:35 pm
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Merry Christmas….!!!: From Duggie Fields
11.30.2012
07:46 am
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Always ahead of the curve, the lovely Duggie Fields has sent us our first Christmas card - a “spoken-word/animation/experimental/beat” wishing everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS…......!!

Thanks Duggie, and a Merry Christmas to you!

Follow Duggie Fields  on Vimeo, Twitter and his blog.
 

 
Bonus version of ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS….!!’, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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11.30.2012
07:46 am
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David Cameron: The British PM’s Christmas card
12.09.2011
01:34 pm
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This is apparently British Prime Minister David Cameron’s Christmas card, which looks more like a wedding invitation from the English Defense League. The image was shared by @VictoriaPeckham, who notes:

There are signs of British isolationism even in the PM’s official Xmas card pic.

This might explain today’s events in Brussels.
 
With thanks to Suzanne Moore and Charles Shaar Murray
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.09.2011
01:34 pm
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Joe Strummer Christmas Card
12.13.2010
11:47 am
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Joe Strummer painted Christmas cards each year for his close family and friends. Who knew? His last hand painted Christmas card comes in a pack of 8 and sells for £10.00. You can purchase them here. The proceeds go to the Strummerville Charity.

Below is another Christmas card I found by Joe Strummer. I don’t believe this one is for sale.  

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(via Everlasting Blort via Cherry Bombed)

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.13.2010
11:47 am
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Honest Rationalist Christmas Card
12.02.2010
03:08 pm
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‘All I Want for Christmas’ Science Gallery Greeting Card. Design by Shaun O’Boyle and Luke McManus. Inside message: Season’s Greetings. Card size: 210cm x 148.5cm.

This ‘All I Want for Christmas’ greeting card from Science Gallery is guaranteed to totally baffle your relatives this holiday season. Try it out. The card sells for €2.50.

(via BB Submitterator)

Posted by Tara McGinley
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12.02.2010
03:08 pm
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