Who knew puffy jackets were a turn-on? Illustration by artist Dominic Myatt from the 2016 book ‘(no kissing).’ Text reads: “I’ve got a real fetish for masc lads wearing puffs/padded jackets. If this is something your interested in too, hit me up and we can chat and hopefully meet. Send pic in first email along with stats for response.”
 
There are so many things to love about London-based artist Dominic Myatt‘s illustrated “m4m” (men for men) Craigslist personal ads. Such as the fact that he kept all the various typos from the original ads (genius), and his wildly inappropriate interpretations of the people who placed the ads themselves caught in the act of their requested liaisons. Thanks to Japanese publisher MNK Press, (no kissing) a book featuring 30 of Myatt’s m4m illustrated ads can be yours for about 34 bucks. According to other Internet sources, (no kissing) will soon be available from a UK publisher as well. I’ve included a few of Myatt’s incredibly specific illustrations from (no kissing) below. And, much like some of the characters you might, er, cum across on Craigslist, they are pretty NSFW. But funny.

And since I’ve grown fond of all of you DM deviants, I transcribed the text associated with Myatt’s illustrations so you can read them in all their horny, typo-riddled glory.
 

Text reads: older white man, generous, looking for a man to TORTURE. BIG nipples, can take a lot of pain. hope to find a man into it, slap me around too, need a ROUGH man.
 

Text reads: Looking for muscular alpha guys. I have beefy titties and like for a guy to squeeze bit/nibble, and tongue them. you can also titty fuck them. I am masc and discreet.
 
More, more, more after the jump…

 
Someone in the charmingly named town of Bird in Hand, Pennsylvania, is overburdened with wax figures of Amish children and is using an ad on Philadelphia Craiglist to unload them. Here’s the ad:
 

I have 28 wax figures. I’m asking $300 EACH. There are 4 mechanical. I’m selling 1 figure with a desk for $300. There out of the weavertown one room school house in bird in hand pa. They were made by dwarfmans in 1969. They were appraised at $450 to $800 each. Would love to sell as a set . If your interested in all please contact me. Please NO low balling. I had several offers that I turned down! I have no problem with offers if you buy the 28 as a set (no low balling) and no scams. I take cash on pick up . I can also take credit card but prefer cash.

 
As Gizmodo’s Katharine Trendacosta figured out, the Weavertown One Room School House is “an authentic one-room school” dating from 1877 in which “life-sized animation brings this interactive classroom to life.” Until May 1969 it was a school for Amish and Mennonite children, but then it became a museum.

One might wonder, what’s up with the museum if all the wax figurines are for sale on Craigslist? A note on the Ultimate Cinema Guide website (??) states that “we are still working on getting the wax figures moving again very soon,” but I wouldn’t be surprised if that note were on the old side. So perhaps they abandoned plans to fix them?

The reasons why and wherefore are secondary. What matters here is that if you can scrape together 8,400 simoleons, you can populate your very own fake Amish classroom—and we won’t even pry all too much as to why you would want to do that…..
 

 

 
Many, many more wax Amish kids, after the jump…...

 
A Clover, South Carolina man was arrested on Wednesday after police saw his Craigslist ad offering to sell weed.

According to local drug enforcement officers, James Kinley III, posted a Craigslist ad titled “Pot… I SELL WEED - $200.”

The text of the ad:

Whole zip lock bag of Loud Smoke
$200
Half an bag is $100
1/4 of a bag is $50
Great smoke
I got it

 

 
The ad included his PICTURE and PHONE NUMBER.

A police officer texted the number asking if the ad was real. The would-be dealer reportedly called the officer back, asked what he needed, and arranged a meeting.

Kinley arrived at the specified meeting place to sell the officer a half ounce of weed and was promptly taken into custody.
 

 
It’s not clear whether the man thought weed was legal in South Carolina (it’s not), or if he thought that cops don’t have access to Craigslist (they do), but it’s likely that Mr. Kinley broke the cardinal rule of drug dealing: getting high on your own supply.

Via: WIS TV

 
“Love Letters From Craig” is the delicious brainchild of an Amsterdam-based company called Cartelle that appropriates and recontextualizes posts from the “casual encounters” section of Craigslist, certainly one of the steamiest (and frequently, most X-rated) sections of the well-known free personals website.

Those Craigslist posts basically consist of people spelling out the exact kinky thing they’re looking to do with a stranger, using a curiously encoded manner of communication—most messages feature at least 1 or 2 acronyms whose meanings aren’t immediately obvious. On “Love Letters From Craig” those messages are read aloud by a robotic voice of the type you might hear emanating from your GPS, while images of items signifying sex and/or oral stimulation (disembodied boobs, a lipstick, a glazed donut, a lollipop, cherries, bananas, pills, etc.) blandly float by. The formal register lends even such attention-getting phrases as “love making out, mutual oral, rimming, toys, spanking, w/s, shower play” an odd kind of dignity.

Cartelle is calling this strange exercise in voyeurism “a romantic exploration into the perversions of modern-day digital hookups.” According to Cartelle, “The contents are not moderated and completely automated, only enhanced by sensual porno beats and tasty, sexy visuals.” “Love Letters From Craig” scrapes new content from the Craigslist servers on an hourly basis.

I don’t know what it all means, but I find watching it strangely mesmerizing.
 

 
via Kill Screen
 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
As seen on Craigslist: ‘Jersey Shore’ lookalikes wanted (who are Republican)
There’s a giant pink vagina couch for sale on Craigslist

 
A posting on Dallas Craigslist is purportedly selling a selection of guitars and amplifiers from the infamous Great White disaster at The Station nightclub. On February 20, 2003, a pyrotechnic display at a Great White concert at the Station in West Warwick, Rhode Island, set fire to the club and killed 100 people. Another 230 were injured.

The question that instantly comes to mind is: is this for real?

The solid money is on “probably not.” Judging by the text of the Craigslist ad, there appears to be an attempt at “sick” humor playing out.

“These instruments are not in the best condition,” can’t be serious, right?
 

 

“They could be worth a fortune someday when Great White gets inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,” definitely can’t be serious.

If the items in this ad could be shown proper provenance, then one could suppose there’s some (hopefully very) niche audience for such morbid curiosities.

If, as it’s safe to assume, this ad is someone’s idea of macabre humor, then fair enough, I suppose it’s not the worst thing the Internet has ever stooped to. Today.

The “seller” may want to remind himself, however, that real people died for his Craigslist jollies.

Warning: this is one of the worst things you will ever watch:
 

 
H/T: Aaron White

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Willie Nelson’s majestic, skunky-smelling tour bus is for sale on Craigslist

 
One of the worst things about living in New York is the inflated prices of nearly everything you could get in middle America for damn near nothing; used clothing, bicycles, furniture- everything is marked way up. It’s such a treat when you can find a deal, and ever better when you can find a freebie, like this human-sized hamster wheel, available in Brooklyn!

FREE HUMAN SIZED HAMSTER WHEEL AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE PICK UP. CAN ACCOMODATE UP TO 200 LBS. FULLY FUNCTIONAL. NOT RECOMMENDED FOR HOUSES WITH SMALL CHILDREN OR ANIMALS. 50 LBS OF SHREDDED NEWSPAPER ALSO AVAILABLE.

I WILL NOT HAVE THIS IN MY HOUSE ANY LONGER.

TAKING APPOINTMENTS TO VIEW THE WHEEL THIS WEEK.

SANDRA Z. ZZZ

I want to help you Sandra! I know you’re at your wit’s end, but I must know more!!! How? And why? And will WD-40 keep it in shape? And is it good for cardio?

UPDATE: This is a prank. You can watch how CNN was duped by the story on YouTube. You can also read about it on Pitchfork.
 
Via Brokelyn

Napaloni, Dictator of Bacteria… the guy who placed this ad?

When looking for work these days, one can ill afford to be picky, but there are some help wanted ads that really, really force you to wonder how hard up you’d have to be to even consider replying to them.

Like this one in particular:

You possess common sense and have a can do professional attitude. Must be able to work independently once task is explained and shown (THE FIRST TIME). Attention to detail and punctuality with time and projects is vital, for you would be dealing with a perfectionist. You must be professional, well spoken and have neat handwriting. You must be punctual and have excellent time management skills. Tasks and duties are not limited to what you see below. You need to be the kind of person who cares about doing a great job and actually cares about the quality of their work. Whatever needs to be done, you must be willing to do without drama or compliant. You must be able to work independently as well.

Examples of some of the duties are:

1. Internet Sales (MUST have experience with EBay listings and selling on Craigslist)
*Please note if you have NO experience with Ebay, please DO NOT respond to this listing. I’m not interested in training anyone from scratch. You need to have a great knowledge of how Ebay works for you will be doing brand new item listings. You will be asked and tested on this in the interview. Knowing Craigslist is a plus.

2. Running Errands (You must already consistantly purchase a weekly or monthly Metrocard for your own efforts )
*You are most likely to be called if you tend to already use the subway frequently via a weekly or monthly metrocard and have a great knowledge of the subway system (Routes between Brooklyn and Manhattan especially). Please state the frequency of your subway use in your cover letter.

3. Office Organization (Scanning/ Filing documents and receipts)

4. Various Other Tasks (Online Research/Grocery Shopping/ Transporting Packages etc)
You must be able to lift 20-30 lbs without strain (An average of 2-3 shopping bags). You will be dropping off and picking up packages. Must be quick and have time management skills for you will be on a timed schedule once the day starts.

Assistant will definitely be needed on Monday afternoons, preferably from 1-6 pm. and one more additional afternoon (which is flexible). Please verify what days you are available days and please state any other flexible times, including weekends. Due to a new business project that starts in the spring, there may be more flexible hours to earn even more cash but you must prove to be efficient and trustworthy during our trial period.

*Excellent for a student/independent contractor/someone who is unemployed looking for a side gig to earn extra cash on an ongoing basis* Even better if you live in the area (Downtown Brooklyn, Fort Greene, Clinton Hill, Bed-Stuy or Prospect Heights)

** To show your attention to detail, please write “I have common sense” in the subject of your email. Please send resume AND cover letter (within the body of the email- NO ATTACHMENTS!!!) explaining your current work/student status, why you are interested in this job and what makes you a good candidate for this position. **

Interviews will be held this Friday and Saturday. Please state what time you are available to meet in your cover letter. Thank you.

Awww, see that? He ended with a “thank you!” That’s how you know that he values and respects his workers.

You can rent your life out to this vile psychopath for just $10 an hour!

What sort of Igor would want this job? In what way would you have to debase yourself  in your cover letter to get this asshole’s attention???

The best part of the entire thing is this ironic typo, which is pure psychoanalytic poetry:

“Whatever needs to be done, you must be willing to do without drama or compliant.”

It’s so positively brimming with Freudian authoritative self-loathing that I can barely stand it.

This obviously insane Craigslist ad poster seems to be asking to be pranked, don’t you think? Send your creative reply to mns8b-3693743507@job.craigslist.org

 
Seen on today’s Austin Craigslist:

Drunk Clown needed to party with a group of friends this Sunday.

Dress up like a clown, be willing to get drunk, and hang out with a cool group of people and bar hop with us this Sunday (August 28th) You will meet us at Kung Fu probably around 3:00 pm- (you MUST be dressed up like a clown, face paint.. etc… it would be awesome if you had those little blow up balloons with you too).... and we will have a Sunday Fun day on West 6th. We will pay you $10 an hour, and pay for your drinks. Contact me for details.

 
Thanks Angel Trevino.

 
(via reddit )

 
A creepy John Wayne Gacy clown suit and painting are for sale on Craigslist for “$1,000 up to $10,000.” I’m not vouching for the authenticity here, just pointing it out. Clown suit, anyone?

j.w.gacy items for sale - $1000 (chicago)

Thanks (I think), James!

 
Yikes! It looks like the ad was pulled from Craigslist. From the listing:

Wooden Framework cracked, front leg broken, faded from 80 years of family use.

Faded from 80 years of family use???

(via Gawker)