A tweet from former presidential candidate Herman Cain’s official Twitter page from Monday, July 17th, 2017.
 
A friend of mine hipped me to the weird tweets coming from idiotic 2012 presidential candidate and Fox News “personality” Herman Cain. It appears that over the last five or so days Cain has been tweeting images from David Lynch’s television series Twin Peaks along with short rants.

If you’ve successfully blocked memories of Mr. Cain out of your mind, let me help you with that. This is the same guy that once referred to strategic U.S. ally Uzbekistan as “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan” so it’s probably not all that surprising that his Twitter account would be a bit unhinged. However, this new stuff seems a bit nutty even for Cain. I mean, he even went so far as to post a photo of Morning Joe‘s Joe Scarborough next to a picture of John Nance in character from Eraserhead. What are you doing Herman Cain? I don’t know if I should get behind this or get to the bottom of it. Perhaps some of our more investigative-minded DM readers will be able to figure out the meaning of these strange dispatches. For now, I’ll leave you to check out screenshots of Cain’s Twin Peaks related tweets below and after the jump…
 

July 18th, 2017.
 

July 17th, 2017.
 

 
Remember the Republican primaries? The last time election coverage was at all fun? You didn’t actually have to worry about an evil crazy person becoming President, just a glorious parade of crazy people unfit to run a lemonade stand! Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could re-capture that? Well, there might be a chance, because Herman Cain is back, baby!

Yesterday on Bryan Fischer’s radio program, Cain dropped this magical bomb,

“I never thought that I would say this, and this is the first time publicly that I’ve said it: We need a third party to save this country. Not Ron Paul and the Ron Paulites. No. We need a legitimate third party to challenge the current system that we have, because I don’t believe that the Republican Party … has the ability to rebrand itself,”

There are three reasons why this is what America needs right now. First of all, it would be hilarious. Second, political diversity is healthy for a country; a super-right wing party would necessitate further radicalization, creating a party to the left of blue dog Democrats. Third, it would be hilarious. Between Pokemon quotes and sexual harassment and the most idiotic tax plan ever dreamed up, it almost makes me sad that he can’t politic his way out of a wet paper bag! Oh well, we can always dream…
 

 
Everyone thinks they’re David Lynch these days.

Here’s what it says on YouTube:

The rabbit is fine but our current tax code is killing small business! The current tax code allows the Government to pick winners and losers by doling out favors and dividing the country with class warfare.

The rabbit is fine? Wha?

Is this a coded message that only dummies understand?
 

“That Cain’s candidacy was taken seriously for longer than a nano-second in a time of genuine crisis for the country raises fundamental questions about the health of the political process and the Republican party,”

—Steve Schmidt, campaign manager for Arizona Sen. John McCain’s 2008 presidential bid.

There are other things one could add to that, but why bother?

 
And here is the proof: The Women for Cain website.

Barbara Dayan of Nimcompoop Nipomo, CA (supposedly) writes:

Dear Mrs. Cain Don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, “Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.” We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!”

Does this “Barbara Dayan” really exist? Or did Cain or that smoking guy weirdo write this?

This CAN’T be from a real woman!  Women see right through this guy. EVERYONE does!

That’s even a stock photo image of the four women!
 

 
Here’s another winner, supposedly from a “Robin Haraway” of Millington, TX.

“Sir, I firmly believe that you were sent to our nation through Divine Providence and I believe that you are the man to preserve our Republic for our children. Remember, you have overcome many adversities in your life. You have pulled yourself up by your bootstraps through sheer determination and honesty. You were delivered from cancer. My prayers are for strength and guidance for you and your beautiful family this weekend.

This one might be real, though. It’s from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, of, as she calls it: “CALIFORNIA, CA”

“Dear Mr Cain many years ago I find this not so unique for christians I knew a man Charles in died at 54 i knew him and and his wife and they were beautiful from the heart christians. at one point in my live i was going to lose my home and well he heard about it, so me at Maass and told me Adrinne I want you to go down to the bank Monday and there wil be a check for 40.000 dollars. I told him I dont know how in the world i would pay it back and he just said don.t worry you are young and you have your whole live to pass a blessing on to someone else, At any rate he died at 54 of a heart attack and when I went to the funeral I was not surprised to see at least 500 or more people at his funeral and I went up to his wife and she told me has helped so many people his whole life and I looked in those green eyes with flowing tears and I said I was one of those people! she looked at me and just hugged me and said you know he would always keep his giving between God and himself, I said yes not for others to see. That was a long time ago and it is funny and it is so normal men who have that kind of heart, My dad would give a waitress 100 dollar tips and I just thought since I was a child that was normal, giving unconditional that is true Christianity and I get Herman Cain and A president who will save the Republic, I wish there are more Herman Cains they don’t show up at big benefits they give and only God can see, that is real to me,,, yes and I have had a life where I can give even when it hurt to women men children, that was a good lesson to learn where only God can see.”

Posted: December 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

Talk about setting yourself up for a spectacular fall. Cain is one Republican hypocrite who does not disappoint! His preposterously rampant egomania is starting to look like clinical insanity. He’s got no one but himself to blame. What a profoundly idiotic man!

This one is almost heart-breaking. Almost!
 

Debbie Stevens-Paulsen, TULSA, OK

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cain, I want you to know that I fully support you! I’ve sent $9.99 several times, and will continue to do so every chance I get. I wish I could do more! I’m “reassessing” my Christmas List… instead of buying misc $10 gifts for people I barely know anyway, I’m sending all that money to you. YOU are who this country needs. Please don’t let the opposition win, they are vile liars and will face God for what they’ve done to you. How can We the People choose who WE want (you!) if you allow them to run you off? Gingrich has DONE all the things they’re accusing you of, and Romney is a RINO.. we call him Obama Lite. PLEASE don’t give up. Speak up loud and clear that you are not giving up, and please let Gloria speak out again. I’ll admit that when I heard that you sent $ to a woman w/out your wife knowing, it gave me pause.. I wouldn’t appreciate my hubby sending $ to another woman w/out my approval… but then I thought about and discussed it with everyone I know. We came to the conclusion that you’re a good man worth the benefit of the doubt. We figure that you’re probably a very busy man who comes in contact w/ tons of people daily, and that you probably both have friends the other isn’t friends with, and that you have helped other people, men and women, without discussing it, because that’s just what you do, you’re a softie (stop that now!) and got taken advantage of. That happens. I have NO doubts about you after thinking and praying about it. If Mrs. Cain is OK w/ what you did, I am. Please send her back to Greta again! That’s between you two anyway. Lots of couples have separate money and do what they want with it. That is ok! Don’t give up sir, please. Don’t make me beg! Don’t let the evil conspirators push you out of this race. I have signs, bumper stickers, your Book, I tweet constantly about you (@FoxieNews) and share everything I can about you and your plan to help America. I support you 100%. Please say you’ll press on and get back to actual campaigning! Don’t play their games anymore.. gloves OFF time! God bless you, your wife and family, and your staff always. Happy Holidays!!! .... and 9-9-9!!!!”

 
Here’s hoping that Herman Cain (and the rest of these GOP no-hopers) stay in the race until the bitter end, soaking up all of those hard-earned reactionary donations. Aside from the laughs, the candidacies of these clowns are an effective way to incinerate perfectly good Republican political donation$:

In this respect, Herman Cain is the literal definition of a useful idiot.

Via Little Green Footballs

UPDATE: Look, they removed the stock phone shot on the Women for Cain website (because they didn’t pay for the license?). Now it reads “Women… Cain”!

 
Obviously he’s innocent until proven guilty, but one thing seems certain enough: Herman Cain is an idiot.
 

 
Tea Party Nation founder and CEO Judson Phillips is calling for Herman Cain to drop out of the GOP race after his excruciatingly humiliating five-minute-long brainfart in front of the editorial board of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (and the entire world via viral video).

When a fucking idiot like Judson Philips thinks you’re a dummy, that’s pretty telling!. Might it be time for Cain to face the facts that he is, indeed, merely a halfwit Chauncey Gardiner-type spouting meaningless platitudes that ONLY sound good to his fellow halfwits? After all, everyone else has already figured this out… even a plonker like Judson Philips!

Via his email alert:

I was wrong about Herman Cain.

I said originally that Cain could stay on message better than almost any other candidate. His 9-9-9 plan was all he would talk about and I attributed that to good messaging on his part.

I was wrong.

It is not messaging. Cain cannot talk about anything else. Tonight there is a video from the Journal Sentinel online that show an interview with Herman Cain. Forget the sexual harassment allegations. Forget Mark Block’s gross incompetence. Herman Cain needs to leave the race because he is not qualified to be President. The video is painful to watch. It is obvious Cain is in over his head and simply clueless.

And this man wants to be the Commander in Chief making decisions? Candidates have something called briefing books. These are prepared by staffers and contain, among other things, topics candidates are expected to have at least a passing knowledge of. Cain may not be expected to know the name of the President of Montenegro or the Prime Minister of Moldavia, but Libya is a question that will obviously come up

Watching Herman Cain stumble around looking for an answer is beyond painful. He looks to the ceiling, desperately seeking an answer. He responds in vague talking points.

To the Cain supporters, I simply say watch this video and ask yourself, “Is this the man you want answering the red phone in the White House at 3 AM?”

Good lord, I actually agree with something Judson Philips thinks! That’s almost distressing, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day…. But will the rank and file Teabaggers even care about this? Given the far right’s general distrust of anyone even remotely intelligent, could this be a wash for Cain? Being an ignoramus never hurt Sarah Palin in the eyes of the faithful, it actually elevated her in their eyes. “One of us!

Phillips has endorsed Newt Gingrich for president. Let’s see how the Gingrich “surge” lasts now that the “Cain train” has been fatally derailed. One of the most repellent, lizard-like, egotistical blowhard politicians of ALL TIME (not to mention one of the top book reviewers on Amazon!) is gonna be the next anti-Romney up to bat for the Republicans to ultimately reject (Sorry Calista, you got sold a bill of goods—you’re never, ever gonna be first lady. Bail out now while you still have your looks!) . It’ll be fun for lefty bloggers to get one last chance to kick Newt a few more times before forgetting about him altogether. Again.

The video is worth watching again. And again. It’s fucking funny, it really is. “Tim and Eric” kind of funny!
 

 
Via Right Wing Watch

 
Looks like it’s more the time for a cigarette break?
 

 
Thank you Alan Stuart of One Long House!

 
“Imagine there’s no Republicans… it’s easy if you try…”
 

 
Via The Daily Beast