Ties are supposed to be “slimming.” Doesn’t work too well with Newt’s toned physique, does it?

The organizers of New Gingrich’s big money fundraiser in Washington, DC last night had the misfortune of choosing a location that has glass doors facing outwards on both sides of the ballroom. Dozens of mostly unemployed workers affiliated with “Take Back the Capitol” gathered at the entrance of the swanky Willard Hotel in downtown D.C., passed out fake $100 bills with Gingrich’s swollen head on them and chanted “The poor get poorer, the rich get rich, that’s the platform of Gingrich.” Earlier in the day, the group brought traffic to a near-standstill on K Street.

From a firsthand account of the protest from Mother Jones’ Andy Kroll:

Earlier, protesters had gathered outside the front doors of the Willard, chanting, “The poor get poorer, the rich get rich, that’s the platform of Gingrich.” They hoisted a “We are the 99%” banner, and the hotel locked several of its entrances.

The Gingrich fundraiser protest was part of “Take Back the Capitol,” a five-day, 99-percent-themed series of protests targeting lawmakers at popular fundraising and deal-making spots in DC, including the Capitol Hill Club, a GOP haunt, and Charlie Palmer Steakhouse, a favorite lunch spot for lobbyists and legislators a stone’s throw from Capitol. On Tuesday night, protesters lined the entrance to the swanky Lincoln restaurant to protest a fundraiser thrown by House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.). At least a dozen were arrested on Wednesday during a march on K Street, the symbolic heart of DC’s lobbying industry.

The protesters’ schedule includes a full day of events on Thursday, including actions at the Capitol Hill Club and elsewhere around DC. But no 1-percenter knows where they might strike next.

Beautiful. Turn up the heat on these bastards. Boil that Newt!

Earlier this week: OWS Takes the Fight to GOP Donors at Cantor Fundraiser (Mother Jones)
 

 
There is probably only but one man in America who seriously believes that Newton Leroy Gingrich could ever become the President of the United States and that one man also happens to be named Newton Leroy Gingrich. The idea that this repulsive, hypocritical turd will ever be in a position of elected power again, is, of course, as ridiculous and as preposterous on the face of it as, well, Gingrich himself. More people loathe him than can tolerate him. He polls about as well as Sarah Palin nationally.

It’s hard to even get worked up or irate when this doofus says things like he says in the below video, to a rightwing Christian audience, because A) he’s a joke, so who cares what this pudgy prick thinks? and B) WHO in their right minds would think electing Newt Gingrich president would be a way to “take back” America from the “minority elites, in the first place, even this audience? That doesn’t make… any sense (As Paul Krugman recently quipped Gingrich is a “stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” He went on to add “but he is more plausible than the other guys they’ve been pushing up”! How true, how pithy! How very Idiocracy...)

It’s amazing to contemplate that this universally disliked, self-satisfied “conservative intellectual” is currently the front runner for the GOP nomination. Who’d have thunk this was possible? How low will they go? Bachmann. Perry. Cain. Gingrich? You’re joking, right? Will Sarah Palin jump into the race to “save” the party from these people? Will ole “frothy mix” Rick Santorum get his day in the Republican sun? What about the least influential man in the world, Tim Pawlenty? If Gingrich can rally a comeback, why can’t he? (Imagine being T-Paw and seeing a no-hoper like Gingrich in the cat bird seat. Even it it only lasts a couple of weeks, that’s gotta be pretty galling!)

Don’t get me wrong, it would be fantastic to see Newt get the GOP nod, strictly from the lulz perspective of seeing the Republicans utterly destroyed in a national election, but you’d have to sift through trillions upon trillions of alternate universes to find the one in which the disgusting toad that his pretty blonde “Stepford wife” Calista kissed would turn into the POTUS (it’s a parallel dimension where gravity has failed, “fun” has been outlawed and Snookie is the Secretary of Spray Tans). It’s never, ever going to happen. Scott Walker has a better chance of holding on to his job than Gingrich does of taking Obama’s. These are the cold and clammy facts.

The mainstream media taking Gingrich seriously again as a candidate, has got a shelf life of how many… days do you think? Anybody want to start a betting pool on how long his front-runner status lasts?

And one more question: What EXACTLY does well-fed fascist mean by the curious phrase “Classical America” when he’s saying it to an audience comprised of Christian evangelicals?

“But we have allowed ourselves to be bullied, harassed, intimidated, and dominated by a tiny elite using the courts, using the news media, using the entertainment community, using the bureaucracy to coerce the American people against their will. It is fundamentally anti-freedom, fundamentally anti-democratic and the core meaning of the 2012 is to stand up and say “no, the eighty percent of the country that actually believes in classical America is now about to take back power from the minority elite.”

Whatever, dude… I just… can’t be bothered getting worked up about you or even to take you seriously.
 

 
And have you seen this harsh video that Ron Paul’s campaign just dropped on Gingrich’s big fat head? Ouch!
 

 
UPDATE: I have to admit that I laughed with Newt on this one...

 
There is no schadenfreude quite like Republican schadenfreude, as I am fond of saying. Watching Newt Gingrich—who Bill Maher delightfully called a “professor of idiocy” the other day—spontaneously combust in the full glare of the media spotlight, has been especially satisfying. His misfortune is my comedy!

That a man this universally disliked—even Republicans can’t stand the sight of his smug face—was ever taken seriously as a presidential candidate is a depressing testament to how low the mainstream media has sunk. Has anyone ever met a Newt Gingrich supporter? Have you? I sure haven’t. Not saying that none exist, but I should think a chupacabras—or even a Rick Santorum supporter—might be easier to locate. Just saying.

Nope, even Republicans aren’t fooled by Newt. He’s an especially loathsome, repellent dickhead in a party comprised nearly 100% of loathsome, repellent dickheads. There’s simply no way to sugarcoat an out-and-out asshole like Newt Gingrich. As is the case with Sarah Palin, the guy has simply overstayed his welcome. Like Mama Grizzly, he’s obviously got nowhere to go but… away.

Hopefully far, far away. Like Abbottabad.

Having said that, when Newt goes back to being an Amazon reviewer and giving phony “awards” to people dumb enough to pay him a “donation” for this “honor,” in some perverse sense, I’m going to miss that slimy amphibian.  I just love watching him squirm. There’s blood in the water after only a week spent officially on the campaign trail and already there’s very little that Gingrich can do to turn that around. Watching the sharks feast on his pudgy ass is fantastic.

In his latest effort to deflect attention away from his statements about the GOP’s plan to dismantle Medicare under the so-called “Ryan Plan”—seen as incendiary, if not traitorous by Republican stalwarts—Gingrich puked up some absolutely stunning jabberwocky on Greta Van Sustern’s Fox News show:

Anyone who quotes him? They’re lying!
 

 
No-hoper GOP vanity presidential candidate Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista had glitter dumped on them by a protester Tuesday as the couple signed books at a “pro family” (ahem) event.

The activist, thought to be Nick Espinosa, AKA “Robert Erickson,” AKA my favorite person of the day, told the Gingriches to “Feel the rainbow, Newt! Stop the hate! Stop anti-gay politics!”

According to AP, the increasingly hapless-looking Republican smiled weakly as he brushed himself off and said, “Nice to live in a free country.”

I’m sure that’s exactly how Newt felt, aren’t you?

Espinosa said the glitter dump was a protest against a proposal to amend Minnesota’s Constitution to ban gay marriage. Next time he gets near that slimy amphibian, maybe he should consider throwing some salt on him?
 

 
Bonus: The Harlequin Romance of Newt & Callista Gingrich
 

 
Of course it was, Newt. We’re all that fucking stupid…

Watch in amazement as cretinous, hypocritical blow-hard Newt tries to wiggle out of his past—and widely known—“indiscretions” with this ridiculously preposterous, transparently obvious attempt to connect with Christian votes on CBN. Where else does a Republican sinner go for absolution?

“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate,” said Gingrich. “And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them.

“I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness. Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness. I do believe in a forgiving God. And I think most people, deep down in their hearts hope there’s a forgiving God. Somebody once said that when we’re young, we seek justice, but as we get older, we seek mercy. There’s something to that, I think.

“I feel that I’m now 67 I’m a grandfather. I have two wonderful grandchildren. I have two wonderful daughters and two great sons in law. Callista and I have a great marriage. I think that I’ve learned an immense amount. And I do feel, in that sense, that God has given me, has blessed me with an opportunity as a person.”

What a complete farce. This man’s unbelievable (in every sense) hubris is a gift to the nation’s comedians and satirists. The only good thing—besides the yucks—of a Newt Gingrich candidacy is that he’ll be soaking up political donation$ on the right with his no-hope presidential run.
 

 
Via TPM