I’m a bit late to the game with Stranger Things 2. I just started watching it this past weekend. So far, so good, although I’m not loving it as much as the first season. (I’m only on episode four).
Anyway, here’s a Stranger Things ouija board made by Hasbro and Mystifying Oracle.
Supernatural forces were uncovered, a young boy was rescued from a parallel dimension, and monsters—both human and otherworldly—were defeated. Gather around the Ouija: Stranger Things Edition game, if you dare, and unlock secrets from a mysterious and mystifying world of the Upside Down.
The Stranger Things ouija board is available to purchase on Amazon for $26.85.
The good people at Bad Dragon unveiled their new “Demogorgon” model of imitation penis on October 20, and it might be the only dildo ever to come with its own teaser video with no sexual angle whatsoever, as well as a highly produced six-minute commercial lovingly shot with all the 80s goodness you could ever muster. They even made sure to include Spielbergian forest flashlights right out of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
The closing credit sequence features various “making-of’ clips of the actors in action, also surely a rare occurrence for a dildo commercial. The cast includes the intriguingly named Elise Brillig and Katsuri Epsilon. You can be certain that a tri-colored royal mesh trucker hat was included among the wardrobe effects.
The base price of the Demogorgon is $55 and comes in a large variety of colors, including Demogorgon’s Natural, Demogorgon’s Signature, Ectoplasm, Sinister Pumpkin, and Salted Caramel Blondie. Most of the styles come with an additional charge of $10 to $20.
Today we bring you the very similar output created by a shadowy figure named Steelberg, whose wildly entertaining Instagram account uses the handle iamsteelberg. The only things we really know about Steelberg is that he or she lives in California and really, really loves old VHS rental tapes from the 1980s. The cheesy details on these fanciful re-creations are priceless, from the ragged and sometimes splintered edges of the plastic casing to the gratuitous non-sequitur stickers some clerk popped on there years ago to the uninspiring typefaces.
It almost makes you want to reach for the tracking button to clear away some of the “snow” off the TV screen.
Floor plans of the domiciles of fictional characters is not a new concept. As far back as the 1990s, an artist named Mark Bennett had bestowed upon us architectural plans for the houses of Boomer-era classics such as The Flintstones, Family Affair, Batman, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I’m also aware of plans for Seinfeld and Friends and a few others.
Many of the shows that receive this treatment are filmed on TV studio sets (often in front of an audience), meaning that such floor plans almost always have a large fictional element. The artists involved must use their powers of imagination to fill in necessary blanks, but the insights derived can often be startling. For instance, would anyone care to speculate on the price tag for the vast “Elliott Bay Towers” penthouse of a certain Seattle radio personality from the 1990s?
Last week Ben Sanford of the real estate blog Homes posted a sorely needed update including floor plans for homes in recent hits, including Joyce’s house in Stranger Things, Elliott’s dumpy single-bedroom apartment in Mr. Robot, and the middle-class residence of Walter White and family in Breaking Bad.
If you’re listening, Ben Sanford, my request list for any future floor plans includes the D.C.-area Jennings residence from The Americans, the bar in Horace and Pete, the Pfeffermans’ modernist Pacific Palisades house from Transparent, Jimmy Shive-Overly’s Silver Lake pad from You’re the Worst, and Sharon and Rob’s house from Catastrophe.
I’m going assume by now you’re all completely done with the Stranger Things hoopla. I know I am. Yet here I am blogging about the damned Netflix TV show again. I sorta kinda really wanna kick myself over it right now. I do. But this mash-up is just too good not to share with you fine folks. Seattle-based Prom Queen on SoundCloud mashed together the theme from Stranger Things with Twin Peaks “Laura Palmer’s Theme.” It’s synth nostalgia heaven, if you ask me. Who knows, you might actually like it and not hate me for bringing up Stranger Things again.
Whatever you think of Netflix’s Stranger Things, you can’t deny that the program is having its moment in pop culture right now. Much attention has been given to its atmospheric, synth-driven score, which was composed and performed by Michael Stein and Kyle Dixon of the group S U R V I V E. Influenced by the likes of John Carpenter and Tangerine Dream, Stein and Dixon’s work contributes greatly to the ‘80s nostalgia the show invokes. Their music is first heard during the opening titles sequence, which the internet has gone gaga over, due in part to the use of a stunning font.
Naturally, a ton of covers of the opening theme have been uploaded to YouTube, with some getting creative with their interpretation, including a few metal takes. The best of the bunch is the version by a guy who records under the name Artificial Fear. As much as I dig the original, I can imagine this awesome rendition being used for season two of Stranger Things.
If there’s one show that’s generating a ton of buzz right now, it’s the Netflix original miniseries Stranger Things. A lovingly-crafted homage to the 70s/80’s “Golden Era” works of Steven Spielberg, Stephen King and John Carpenter, this show is inspiring the kind of love we haven’t seen for a TV program in a long time. Having heard so much good stuff about Stranger Things, I went into watching it with high hopes indeed. On paper this show is so my kind of thing that it’s not even funny: John Carpenter is my all-time favorite director. Stephen King is the guy who inspired me to write, and I can trace my obsession with movies back to formative experiences watching Spielberg’s films obsessively as a child.
So what could possibly go wrong? Well I have a confession to make: Having watched the show now, for the most part I found it… well… kinda boring. I certainly didn’t hate Stranger Things or anything but I definitely didn’t find it anywhere near as “awesome” as everyone else did either. I think it’s basically just… okay. For most of the viewing experience I had a nagging sensation of “Is this it? THIS is the show people are losing their shit for?!” But in truth anything that gets this sort of across-the-board, almost scarily uniform praise—like this particular show—it should raise suspicions.
And before anyone jumps in to tell me that I “just don’t get it!!“my fanboy credentials are more than sound. The fiction I write is horror with teen protagonists! From 2004-2008 I was part of the synth/prog group The Evil Eye, taking influence from John Carpenter and Tangerine Dream and soundtracking various short films including the 80s/video nasties-inspired web serial TV Face. On top of working on these things I am also a child of this era, so I’m as surprised as anyone that I didn’t love the shit out of the show. And trust me, I don’t wanna be The Grinch Who Stole Your 80s Nostalgia Buzz, either. Stranger Things has some serious problems that people seem willing to overlook in the rush to hype it up. So in the interest of fair and balanced journalism, I have put together a guide to what I find to be eight of the major flaws with Stranger Things.
Dare you taste the Hatorade?
1. Winona Ryder
Don’t get my wrong, I love Winona. She’s the beating heart of some of my all-time favourite movies. I’m a Veronica. But BY GOD did her performance do my head in! To the point where I zoned out whenever she was on screen. Her role as “Joyce” (and I had to look that name up, that’s how unmemorable the character was) never strayed from the single, overbearing note of “despairing mother.” Which is not necessarily Ryder’s fault as she was given so little to work with. Still, color me disappointed. I lay the blame for this squarely at the feet of the writers/creators Shawn Levy and the Duffer Brothers. Stranger Things’ characters were paper thin despite some great performances from the child actors. But the adults? From Winona Ryder to Matthew Modine, not to mention the oddly clueless suburban parents and the totally clichéd sidekick deputies… sorry. In the end it seemed like only Steve and Will were genuinely changed by what they had experienced.
But I was willing to forgive all that until it got to:
The treatment of Barb neatly sums up everything wrong with this show. I knew “who” Barb was before I’d even seen a single frame of Stranger Things, which is why I was expecting a lot more from this “beloved” character’s role. But the way they handled her storyline left a bad taste. [SPOILER] After her abduction at the end of episode 2, Barb gets, what, maybe three more mentions over the course of the next six hours? And in the middle of one child disappearance investigation, the disappearance of another kid gets completely and utterly overlooked by the police? Please! I’ve seen mention that this is a comment on the general lack of urgency placed on missing-girl cases (which IS a thing) but that’s retroactively applying something to the show that just isn’t there. Once Barb has served her purpose to the plot she’s basically forgotten about. I get the feeling that the show’s creators expected the audience to feel a lot more empathy for Barb than they ever showed her. Simply put, it was cheap and lazy. And her predicament left dramatically unexplored.
3. The Pacing/Plotting
Let’s be honest here, the pacing was wildly uneven. Long stretches—entire episodes, in fact—passed where the plot barely advanced a single inch. Perhaps this is another homage as Stephen King has been guilty of this kind of uneven pacing and self-indulgent mood-setting in his fiction. But when he has to, he can knock that shit out of the park. Much of Stranger Things felt saggy and repetitive. It’s clear the Duffer Brothers and Shawn Levy haven’t got a grip on writing episodic television yet. Compare the plotting to the 2013 conspiracy-adventure drama Utopia (a masterpiece in my opinion, and a benchmark for mystery-thriller-TV, written by Dennis Kelly.) Utopia covers roughly similar ground: a world-threatening government conspiracy is uncovered through a pop-culture cypher by a ragtag gang of geeks along with a mysterious woman with major ass-kicking abilities. The twists and turns of Utopia‘s plot in the first three episodes alone took the viewer deeper into an unpredictable, exciting story while serving up some boundary-pushing scenes. By contrast, the plot of Stranger Things only really seemed to get going by the end of episode 3, and rather than shock us or surprise us, every plot twist had an almost mind-numbing familiarity. Like how is Will hiding in the electricity? Oh yeah: Because Spielberg.
4. The Relentless Pastiche-O-Rama
It got bloody tiring! While I did enjoy the show in places, at no point did Stranger Things ever transcend its influences to become something truly great with its own unique voice. And that is something the films it references managed to achieve, lest we forget. The show instead relies on a checklist of “spot-the-cliché” (well-produced clichés, but clichés nonetheless.) Despite a couple of entertaining peaks, after the end credits rolled I was STILL thinking about Spielberg, King, Carpenter, Lucas, Craven, Cronenberg, et al, and not the actual story I’d just watched. This seems to be true of almost everyone else talking about the show, too, which says a lot. That’s the fundamental problem with pastiche: not only does it have to be as good as the classics if it’s going to constantly remind us of them, it actually has to stand apart from them too if it wants to eek out its own place in that canon. Otherwise the referencing becomes distracting and makes a viewer wish they’d just watched the originals instead. “We have consumed more 80s pop culture than you!” is really not the best basis for telling a story. It certainly never answered the question as to why I should use eight hours of my life to watch it when I could watch a quadruple-bill of ET, Close Encounters, The Goonies and Poltergeist. With still time for a lil’ Freaks & Geeks thrown in.
5. Eleven’s Psychic Realm
And this was the moment when the relentless pastiching just became TOO much for me. When it spilled over from cute into ugly. When it went from being a constant, wearying nag of “now where have I seen that before?” to “I know exactly where I have seen this before, and GROAN.” The direct lift from Under The Skin (like Utopia, another modern masterpiece) felt incongruous. Not for Under The Skin‘s adult themes or modern setting, but because that film worked so damn hard to take us out of our comfort zones and show us something unique and genuinely alien. Seeing that reflective-black-empty-world (NSFW) again in the context of a cozy-nostalgia-80s-synth-kids-horror-adventure was both jarring and annoying. It was also a hugely missed opportunity: seeing inside the mysterious Eleven’s mind (literally) could have been a chance for the Duffers and Levy to show us something awesome and bizarre and new, but no, they cynically opted for more lazy pastiche. Instead of investing in genuine character insight or visual innovation, we got yet another “have you seen THIS film?” wink-and-nudge reference. Boring!
Which brings me to:
6. The Monster/The Threat
I think we can all agree that the monster in Super 8 was rubbish, right? Both its design and its role within that 80s throwback felt off. But having said that, you have to give JJ Abrams this: at least his monster had an endgame. It had a motivation. A back story. Even a primitive logic. But the Stranger Things monster (as yet un-named, even by the fans. How odd!) had no sense of having its own life beyond being a plot device. Not to mention that its feeding rituals (dead deer or fresh humans?!) and appearances in and out of our dimension were so loosely sketched as to lose any genuine sense of creepiness. Vagueness can be cool if the audience is confident that behind the twitching curtain lurks something truly terrifying (The X-Files coasted on this approach for years until it blew it with a farcically convoluted mythos: We saw behind the curtain and it was just some greasy-haired nerd typing in his Mom’s basement.) In horror for “The Threat” to work it has to be fully realized. This wishy-washy threat never gets satisfactorily explored or convincingly/consistently deployed and this was obviously going to be the case from the first episode. (See also: It Follows.)
To top it all off I just wasn’t a fan of the creature design. The five-second scene of the melting head from The Thing blew it out of the water.
And speaking of John Carpenter…
7. The Score
Everyone’s going on about how fantastic the soundtrack—by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein of Austin-based synth quartet S U R V I V E—is. And I’m not saying that it’s bad. It’s certainly authentic sounding, which is good. But just one question—how does it go again? I can’t remember, can you whistle the theme tune for me please? The beauty of John Carpenter’s original synth-based scores was not just in the signature sound palette he managed to conjure up, but in the memorable melodies he lodged in our brains, melodies that came back to haunt us long after the credits had rolled. He’s also the master at using minimal music cues to build genuine tension. In contrast, some of the Stranger Things music cues were way too much. The pounding drums during the sheriff’s breaking in at the research facility didn’t make the scene more tense, it just became grating. One of the things that tripped the score up in my mind, was the inclusion on the soundtrack of some genuinely atmospheric synth masterpieces that put the original score in the shade. I’m thinking in particular of this, one of my favourite pieces by Tangerine Dream (that was used to accompany a fist fight scene?!?):
Which brings me to…
8. The Hype
Ah, the hype. The Stranger Things hype is the thing that is really pissing me off, more than anything actually featured in the show itself. To the point where I felt compelled to write this piece so at least there could be ONE dissenting voice out there to balance the (suspiciously universal) adoration for the show.
The mysterious Steelberg has been re-imagining newly released movies as VHS tapes that you would have rented from your local video store when video stores were everywhere. Housed in beat up cases with torn plastic slip jackets, curling price tags, staff recommendations and various other battered stickers (Beta!), Steelberg replicates the real thing to an eerie degree.
Stranger Things is particularly effective for the very reason that it’s an homage to those 80s movies that packed the shelves of Blockbusters back in the days when you could be kind by simply rewinding. This is what we’re talking about when we talk about form following content.
So, if you’re like me, your entire social media newsfeed is blowing up with people going absolutely apeshit over Stranger Things. Everyone loves the nostalgic 80s throwback and its cold synthy score. Word has it that the popular series has been picked up for a second season.
For all you fans on that 80s nostalgia kick, MondialCreative has produced a completely unnecessary, yet totally awesome mashup of the Stranger Things opening with scenes from the hit sitcom Perfect Strangers.
Perfect Stranger Things—GET IT?
Anyway, this is actually rather well done. Dumb, but dumb well done.