An image paints a thousand words..or in this case just one…
 
It’s February. Time for the corporations to make some money selling Valentine’s Day cards and heart-shaped candy to lovers, couples, lonely-hearts and creeps for a made-up “holiday.”

Not that I’m cynical about these things. But to be frank, the only card I really want to see on the fourteenth of this month is your credit card so I can max it to the hilt.

Now, I know you’re gonna say Valentine’s Day is fun, Valentine’s Day is romantic, it gives lotsa lonely guys the chance to stalk women they don’t know yet. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is all good. So if you do dig Valentine’s Day then you might appreciate these inappropriate vintage cards which look like the kind of thing nice weirdoes and freaks sent their loved ones in the past.
 

How did this even get published?
 

You know this guy’s a serial killer, right?
 

Cop with a gun card—what could go wrong?
 
More heartbreaking cards, after the jump…

Glenn Danzig

I realize that I’m blogging about these cards just a week before Valentine’s Day. Perhaps I’m too late to the game on this one, but maybe they can be rushed delivered? Anyway, here they are in all their glory… heavy metal heroes Valentine’s Day cards! For those who, you know, don’t want to get all mushy-gushy on the holiday.

You get nine different metal heroes that come in a set of 27. The set of cards sell for $15.00. Get ‘em here.

 

Wendy O. Williams
 

King Diamond
 
More after the jump…
 

James Foote, Florida (SOLVED)
 
In 2007 the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, the Department of Corrections, and the Attorney General’s Office worked with the Florida Association of Crime Stoppers to forge a new way to solve some of the state’s unsolved cases. It’s a regular deck of cards in which the face of each card features a photograph and some factual information about an unsolved homicide or missing persons case. In July 2007, 100,000 decks of cold case playing cards (two decks highlighting 104 unsolved cases) were distributed to inmates in the Florida’s prisons. Two cases, the murder of James Foote and the murder of Ingrid Lugo, were solved as a result.

Connecticut and Indiana have also taken up this idea, and produced decks of cards with homicide victims (sometimes missing persons) on them. We found a few images of the cards to show you. A friend of mine gave me a deck of the Connecticut set at a party recently, where they made quite the impression. They’re a little bit reminiscent of the “Iraqi Most-Wanted” playing cards that coalition forces distributed after the invasion of Iraq in 2003.
 

Maurice White, Indiana
 

Linda Weldy, Indiana
 

 

Ingrid Lugo, Florida (SOLVED)

More after the jump…

 
With Summer coming to end, it’s probably time to trade in your deflated Motörhead beach ball for some Motörhead playing cards. They’re $8.99 at the band’s online store. 

(With thanks to Cherry Bombed)