In the spirit of this week’s corporate celebration of online shopping, I just placed an order for the newest quasi-legal designer drug, Coco Loko. No need to scour the web for the last remaining traces of Kratom, Coco Loko is now on Amazon and some people are already concerned.

So what is it? Sold in 1.25 oz tins of about ten “lines,” Coco Loko is a snortable mix of cacao powder, caffeine, gingko biloba, taurine, and guarana. As you might guess, the product’s approximate thirty minute high is comparable to that of your favorite energy drink, “they say” with elements of euphoria and a calm, but steady focus. It is unsure if there have been any unwanted side effects thus far, but doctors have taken particular issue with how (and if) one’s mucus membranes will absorb the chocolate inhalant. Both the FDA and the DEA have been holding off on restricting it until more information is available, making the cocaine-inspired powdered chocolate perfectly legal to buy and consume for the time being. But maybe not for long -New York Senator Chuck Schumer has just recently issued a letter urging fellow lawmakers that the substance could be harmful.
 

This looks utterly ridiculous.
 
Coco Loko (seriously, what a name) is a product by Legal Lean, a supplement company operating out of Orlando, Florida. Owner Nick Anderson recalled discovering the fad of snorting cacao while in Europe, soon leading him to invest $10,000 into creating his own take on the snuff. This isn’t the first “legal high” product by the company—its namesake “Legal Lean” is an alternative to the “purple drank” syrup cocktail of codeine and promethazine that is popular within hip hop culture. While I do not anticipate seeing the youth demand it by name, Coco Loko might be the new novelty drug that you and your goofball friends try this summer. Mmmm, chocolate boogers!
 
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