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Practical doomsday advice from creepy Christian guy


 
Some end of the world tips from a man who claims that God saved him from a car wreck and back pain, personally,  in 1990 and now he wants to share his bounty with all of us. Because the end is nigh.
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
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09.02.2011
04:01 pm
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Harold Camping: The Zombie Apocalypse happens October 21
06.02.2011
09:24 pm
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Since the Rapture failed to materialize as predicted on May 21, the mainstream media has pretty much dropped 89-year-old crazy Christian doomsday kook Harold Camping and his un-Raptured followers like…well… the goofy losers they are. And rightfully so.

However, according to the Christian Post website which has continued following his dumbshit antics, Camping still insists that the Rapture DID IN FACT occur but only in a SPIRITUAL sense! Camping maintains that his dates for a May 21 Judgment Day and a October 21 real Doomsday are STILL—despite EVERY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY—accurate and absolutely right on target. He was expecting maybe a little more in the way of some box office boffo special effects, sure, maybe some floods and for the earth to be torn asunder, but, hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, fella! It’s not all shock and awe:

Judgment Day on May 21 did come, asserted Camping. However, he clarified that the Judgment Day arrived in a spiritual sense rather than manifesting in a physical Rapture.

On Monday, a caller asked Camping whether they would see any signs from Deuteronomy 28, beginning with verse 15, fulfilled in the coming End Days. The passage refers to the curse of God for those who disobey his teachings.

“Those who are unsaved are going to experience the curse of God,” affirmed Camping, president of Family Radio.

He predicted that whatever of a person’s corpse is left in the grave on October 21 “will be thrown out of the grave” and be “like manure on the ground.” Furthermore, those who die on October 21 won’t receive a burial, said Camping.

“They will be shamed in the eyes of God,” he said.

“On the last day, all the unsaved are going to come under the curse of God. They are going to be thrown out of the grave if there are still a corpse there or bones. If they are in the grave, they will be shamed in the eyes of God. If they die on that day, they’re not going to be buried. They’re going to be shamed in the eyes of God,” Camping further predicted.

He explained that the actual person himself will not really experience any of this beastliness because they are already dead. You mean like zombies? Exactly!

“But they will be shamed,” Camping insists. This coming from someone so impervious to shame himself, of course, but I digress…

Also on Monday’s radio show, Camping took some hits from a few of his pissed-off followers—some who are now broke and having a crisis of faith—on his radio show:

“I’ve been studying the Bible with you all those years,” said the caller Monday.

“I thought nothing would shake my faith that I would go through all the tribulations and all that. But now that I see that it didn’t happen once again, all I look at is disappointment from our Father.”

The caller commended Camping for “staying faithful” but expressed his own lack thereof.

“In my case, I don’t know what it means to be faithful anymore because I am really disappointed,” the caller said in a saddened voice.

—snip—

One ex-follower was so upset over Camping’s failed prediction that he threatened the doomsday speaker with violence and used profanity to address him.

“You’re really pathetic, you know? I wasted all my money because of you. I was putting all my money and my hopes on you,” an angry caller told Camping.

“Do you understand? I wish I could see you face to face, I would smack you.”

Camping attempted to explain himself but the caller sounded like he had enough.

“Mr. Camping, you always say a lot of (expletive). I lost all my money because of you, you (expletive),” said the caller.

I don’t feel one single lick of sympathy for these fuckin’ people. They got EXACTLY what they deserved: A really expensive lesson in REALITY.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.02.2011
09:24 pm
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Dr Strangelove for Real: Inside the Apocalyptic Soviet Doomsday Machine
09.22.2009
06:13 pm
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Almost the flip-side of this post, How the Soviet Menace Was Hyped, Wired’s Nicholas Thompson takes us inside the Soviet Doomsday Machine so we can see how our Neo-Conservative fueled paranoia about them started a feedback loop that could have killed us all:

The point of the system, he explains, was to guarantee an automatic Soviet response to an American nuclear strike. Even if the US crippled the USSR with a surprise attack, the Soviets could still hit back. It wouldn’t matter if the US blew up the Kremlin, took out the defense ministry, severed the communications network, and killed everyone with stars on their shoulders. Ground-based sensors would detect that a devastating blow had been struck and a counterattack would be launched.

The technical name was Perimeter, but some called it Mertvaya Ruka, or Dead Hand. It was built 25 years ago and remained a closely guarded secret. With the demise of the USSR, word of the system did leak out, but few people seemed to notice. In fact, though Yarynich and a former Minuteman launch officer named Bruce Blair have been writing about Perimeter since 1993 in numerous books and newspaper articles, its existence has not penetrated the public mind or the corridors of power. The Russians still won’t discuss it, and Americans at the highest levels?

Posted by Richard Metzger
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09.22.2009
06:13 pm
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