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Pop stars and their packages
07.17.2011
01:29 pm
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Freddie Mercury, at Live Aid, Wembley Stadium, 1985

 
The package, the parcel, the meat house, the fruit basket, the lunchbox, or just plain old junk - call it what you will but the bulging male crotch has a long and noble history in popular music. From the banned-from-the-waist-down wiggling hips of Elvis Presley, to the King of Pop’s trademark grab-and-yelp, all the way up to the nut-busting, skin-tight jeans of the Kings of Leon, VPL (Visible Penis Line) has taken root as a firm fixture right at the very heart of rock’n'roll culture. Generations of hormonal girls (and even some boys) have long stared at glossy posters hanging above moistened teenage bedsheets, and sighed longingly at the thought of what mysterious pleasures lay behind the zippered fly.

Before the internet, before the iPhone, before sex tapes and the widespread consumption of free pornography, a well defined package (visible only through a thin layer of pant material) could be the making or breaking of a wannabe pop Adonis. The times may have moved on, but the crotch still holds a magnetic attraction to music fans. With that in mind, here is a selection of some of the finest packages that rock and pop have had to offer over the last half century:
 

One of the reasons Elvis was banned from the waist down.

 

Bruce Springsteen showing you who is boss.

 

David Bowie in Labyrinth - surely not suitable for kids?

 

Prince - the man, the myth, the legend.

 

John, Yoko & Andy engage in a 3way crotch grab. But who’s groping Yoko’s boob?

 
EDIT
 

But, egads, how could I possibly have forgotten Die Antwoord?!

 
Much more crotch action after the jump - NSFW!

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Posted by Niall O'Conghaile
|
07.17.2011
01:29 pm
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