Above, the defiled playground equipment at Stoke Green Park
A man with a powerful fetish for children’s playground equipment has been banned from going “anywhere which has a slide,” reported the Huddersfield Daily Examiner.
Christopher Johnson, aged 46, of Stoke, U.K., was arrested after simulating a sex act with a slide at Stoke Green Park in Coventry. As the newspaper drily noted, “It’s his second slide-related offence.”
Second!
At Coventry Magistrates Court he pleaded guilty to a charge of outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner and received a three-year Criminal Behaviour Order. That order bans him from attending any location, including parks, swimming baths, beaches, or recreation grounds where a slide is present.
Johnson also received a three-year community order, which requires him to undergo sex offender treatment for 18 months as well as a rehabilitation activity. He was fined £55 and had to pay a £60 victim surcharge, £85 costs and a £180 criminal courts charge. All together, the crime cost Johnson £380, which is around $600.
Johnson was arrested at Stoke Green Park on the night of August 18 when four people witnessed him interacting in a lascivious way with the slide at 10:45 p.m. The police were called. As already noted, it was his second offense involving sexual behavior on a slide. On July 1, 2014, Johnson undressed and performed a sexual act on the top of a slide at Coundon Hall Park in Waste Lane, Keresley.
Now, somewhat poetically, Johnson’s fate is to be forever banned from interacting with the one thing in life he loves most. A hard penalty, if a necessary one.
h/t reddit