Keeping it single-spaced, because the man had rather a lot of accomplishments before turning the ripe old age of thirty!

WOODY ALLEN BIO:
 
Born in Brooklyn, New York, U.S.A. 1935.
Attended Midwood High School in Brooklyn.
Attended New York University but thrown out for poor student.
Attended City College of New York but thrown out for poor student.
Began career as professional comedy writer at 17, writing for Radio.
First show was Peter Lind Hayes and Mary Healy Radio Show.
Wrote for TV for years for such shows as:
Herb Shriner.
Gary Moore Show.
Sid Caesar Show.
Art Carney Specials.
Tonight Show.
Max Liebman Shows.
Won Emmy nominations and Sylvania Award for best writing on Sid Caesar Show.
Wrote for many comedians who appeared on TV and in nightclubs.
Wrote sketches produced on Broadway in revues.
Turned comedian nearly three years ago on a wild hunch of my managers.
Tried to keep it limited but performing went very well and one club led to another and one TV show led to another.
Appeared in U.S. at The Blue Angel, in N.Y., the Hungry in San Francisco, Basin St. East in New York, Mister Kelly’s in Chicago, Crystal Palace in St. Louis, Bitter End in New York (the latter was a coffee house that I got my first real start at, playing there for several consecutive months where the press could come and see me for a showcase.) Crescendo in L.A., Shadows in Wash.
Have done many concerts for colleges, groups and recorded my first record album titled Woody Allen just a few months ago.
On TV have appeared on The Jack Paar Show, the Tonight Show (I took the latter over for one week when Johnny Carson went on vacation) The Hootenany Show, Candid Camera, Steve Allen.
Anxious to get back to the United States to fulfill several cabaret and hotel bookings and some TV shots.
Press has been extraordinary, having appeared extremely favorably in every major magazine (Life, Time, Newsweek New Yorker, Playboy, every major newspaper and trade paper, Saturday Evening Post, Saturday Revue, etc).
Wrote What’s New Pussycat?” when Charles Feldman and Shirley MacLaine happened to catch me at the Blue Angel and he felt I’d be right to do script of a wild conception he had. It is my first movie script and the first time - I’ve ever acted.
(more)
 
I am currently finishing off a play entitled tentatively Don’t Drink the Water, to be produced by Max Gordon on Broadway upon my return to the U.S.
Since my week on the Johnny Carson Show I have had many offers for my own TV series, to act on TV and Broadway both in comedies and musicals (I don’t sing or dance) have been offered parts in motion pictures and opportunities to do screenplays of major films.
I am not interested in writing any movies that I would not be in heavily (star or co-star in is what I mean) and would not do adaptations for anyone in any medium because I am only interested in writing originals under any conditions. I would accept funny roles if offered me and I liked them.
I have been offered opportunities to direct both films and play for Broadway, both of which I would like to do someday but not right now.
I have been offered many advances for written material from all the top publishing houses for books but I haven’t the time.
My hobbies are not drinking and avoiding sex.
I play several musical instruments, all horribly. I love music.
I have been married (when I was 19) for six years. I discuss my marriage and subsequent divorce in my act in detail.
Everything I say in my act is either true or based closely on my experiences either real or fantasy.
I have no children.
I go out with girls if they are pretty, funny, bright, neurotic, and like Hershey Bars. (addict)
My family is alive (or think they are) - my sister is twenty-one, married recently and a teacher.
My father is now in the jewelry business but has been many things (but not a father) including a waiter for many years.
My mother has always been a bookkeeper in a flower shop.
When I was a child they’d give me a quarter and I’d let them alone. Now I give them money and they let me alone.
I live (contrary to the incessant myth about me living in Greenwich Village, which I never did or claimed to, I just dress in expensive but ill fitting clothes so I guess it looks sort of that way) on the chic upper east side on Manhattan and have for the past eight years or nine years. I love it there, adore Fifth Avenue, and wouldn’t want to live anyplace else.
I do not own a car or dog.
I enjoy working both writing and any form of performing.
I hated performing at first but now I like it. It was hard to make the adjustment from the closed room to facing people but my managers forced me.
Whereas I was friendless and alone three years ago, I now have a girl friend, managers, a press agent, a lawyer, and an accountant.
I like Sugar Ray Robinson, little blonde girls and William Butler Yeats.
I hate rising early, being beaten up and when I don’t get my way.
If I could have been anyone else I would have liked to have been Louis Armstrong.
 

 

 
(via Showbiz Imagery and Chicanery)

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Woody Allen boxes a kangaroo, 1966
Woody Allen: Fascinating documentary made for French TV in 1979
Orson Welles hated Woody Allen

 
By now you’ve all heard of Elon Musk’s idea to build a gigantic pneumatic tube system to move people, cargo, and even cars between San Francisco and LA in like half an hour.

On Bloomberg the other day there was a fascinating article pointing out that, not only was the idea of moving people via pneumatic tubes previously conceived of in the 19th century, one guy in New York actually built a working prototype of such a system in 1867 that moved thousands of people between Murray and Warren streets downtown, during the Boss Tweed era!

That’s right, Alfred Ely Beach proposed an entire system for urban mass transit based on pneumatic tubes, and he built a prototype to show that it could be done. If you read his entire proposal here (and you should definitely take a look—the other drawings are fascinating), you can see that he planned to even have subway-like cars pushed throughout the city using pneumatic power. As proof of concept, however, folks could walk into the basement of a building on Murray Street and get whisked over to Warren Street. Thousands of people apparently did it, and the larger proposal looked like it was going to go through, except that Boss Tweed’s apparent enthusiasm for the scheme ended up killing it when Tweed was finally nailed for corruption.

Now this isn’t as crazy or unprecedented as you might think. During the 19th century and into the 20th, many European cities had pneumatic tube systems used for moving around messages and small items. In fact, here’s a photo of a sort of connection room in London that apparently made it into the 20th century:
 

 
Interestingly, a pneumatic tube system in London ended up playing a crucial role during the telegraphy era: Undersea signals originating from the US and making it into the UK didn’t have enough oomph left to make it into noisy London, so the telegraphs were printed out on paper and sent into London via the pneumatic tube system. In addition, like with Paris’ extensive system, there were local tube stations in many neighborhoods into which you placed your cylinder. That cylinder could carry messages of course, but it could also carry small physical items as well, including food and even, according to some recorded cases, proposals plus engagement rings. Kind of like a primitive Amazon Prime operating atop of a steampunk Internet system that could deliver physical items!

Amazingly, New York itself built a pneumatic tube system in the 1890s, the map for which you can see here. Apparently, the tubes could move at 25 to 35mph, and carried not just letters but even, it is rumored, sandwiches from a particularly popular shop.
 

 
Another bizarre fact is that municipal buildings on Roosevelt Island (that big island under the 59th Street Bridge in the East River) have a pneumatic waste disposal system that is still in operation to the present day! It still puts out several tons of garbage every single day.

In other words, Alfred Ely Beach’s idea to move people and even larger things via a gigantic pneumatic tube system wasn’t as crazy as it sounded, and really just represented a vast upscaling of the pneumatic tube systems already prevalent in Europe, and it predated Elon Musk’s idea by over a century! One wonders, however, if it weren’t for Boss Tweed, might history have proceeded differently so that we’d have a vast metropolitan pneumatic people-moving system in New York City? Perhaps it would have delayed the building of the New York City subways by a few decades. Like the short-lived Blimp mast that was the original intent for the top of the Empire State Building, had Beach’s tube system somehow made it, New York could have been very different, a sort of Steampunk paradise.

Imagine disembarking from a blimp at the top of the Empire State Building and then proceeding down into the basement were you took a pneumatic tube home to your neighborhood!

 
Golfers are invited to get a ‘Heil’ in one when a controversial crazy golf exhibition opens in Derby, England later this month.

Doug Fishbone and Friends: Adventureland Golf presents artworks by the likes of Jake and Dinos Chapman, David Shrigley, Brian Griffiths, Jonathan Allen, Zatorski + Zatorski, and Doug Fishbone displayed over a golf course.

The course begins with Jonathan Allen’s boarded up library before heading over to Brian Griffiths’ desert island. Elsewhere David Shrigley offers advice and guidance on the participant’s way round the course such as “Respect Your Opponent”. In the context of holiday fun Jake and Dinos Chapman, and Doug Fishbone have created replicas of two dictators for the course which concludes with Zatorski + Zatorski’s black mausoleum-like slabs. After this hole the ball is irretrievable. The game is over!

The most controversial exhibits are a statue of Saddam Hussein by Fishbone, and a statue of Adolf Hitler, designed by the Chapman brothers.
 

 
When a player hits a ball through the Hitler hole, the fiberglass Führer raises his arm in a Nazi salute and says “Nein, nein, nein.”

London-based, American-artist Doug Fishbone claimed the intention was not to ridicule or minimize the suffering caused by these dictators.

However, when the exhibition first opened last year in the popular seaside resort of Blackpool, Michael Samuels, of the Board of Deputies of British Jews, described the Hitler statue as having “absolutely no artistic value whatsoever.”

The exhibition has inspired considerable debate on local newspaper the Derby Telegraph‘s website.

“Bagheera” criticised the exhibition and said: “As someone who lost family members in both conflicts, I consider this grossly offensive. If this is art then, quite frankly, we would be better off without it.”

Manasas called the exhibition a “total waste of public money”, said it was “insulting to the people who died under both monsters” and called for it to be cancelled.

Fellow reader Ianrad51 said: “I think the crazy golf course with Hitler and Saddam on it is sick.”

Other readers praised Quad for bringing the exhibition – called Doug Fishbone and Friends: Adventureland Golf – to Derby.

Ben-Spiller wrote: “Ridiculing tyranny through interactive art that provokes debate about the legacy of mass-murdering bigots can only be a good thing.

“Would Hitler and Hussein have wanted their legacy to include being figures of fun on a crazy-golf course for people from all cultures to enjoy together? Most probably not. This is a good reason to do just that.

“Let’s knock Hitler and Hussein off their self-made pedestals and have fun doing so but let’s also think about the terrible impact of their cruel regimes.”

Doug Fishbone and Friends: Adventureland Golf opens at the Quod in Derby on August 31st, details here.
 

 
H/T Derby Telegraph
 
A tour of the golf course plus an interview with Doug Fishbone, after the jump…

 
If TMZ (and the Internet) had been around in the 1960s, you can bet that D.A. Pennebaker’s infamous film of John Lennon and Bob Dylan “both on fucking junk” (Lennon’s words) in the back of Dylan’s limo would have made it to their blog, Gawker and Huffington Post within a New York minute. But it wasn’t until the mid-1980s, when the VHS tape trading underground really took off, that copies of this insane, historically important for all the wrong reasons meeting started making their way into collectors eager hands (I had a copy). Now it’s easy to see, of course, on YouTube.

I’d always just assumed that Dylan and Lennon were both just extremely hungover, but maybe they were on something stronger. Lennon himself would know, right? It would certainly explain Dylan’s odd behavior and all that vomit talk, wouldn’t it?

This momentous event occurred on May 27, 1966 at the time of Dylan’s first “electric” tour of Great Britain, during a year that he admittedly had a $25 a day heroin addiction. The encounter was captured by filmmaker D.A. Pennebaker—it’s an outtake from Eat The Document—and shows how nervous these two rock gods were around each other. In his famous 1971 interview with Rolling Stone, Lennon remarked about the awkward limo ride:

“I just remember we were both in shades and both on fucking junk. ... I was nervous as shit. I was on his territory, that’s why I was so nervous.”

Whatever surreal flights of rock god verbal fantasy they had planned for this filming, the results were something rather less than coherent after Dylan shared his stash! Lennon told Jann Wenner that he was “frightened as hell” and “paranoid” that Dylan had just invited him to be in the film to put him down.

Without stating the obvious, (or perhaps he didn’t know) D.A. Pennebaker told Gadfly magazine:

It was not exactly a conversation by any means. Dylan was so beside himself and in such a terrible state that after a while I don’t think he knew what he was saying. He hauled him up the stairs of the hotel, and when he got to his room he was really sick.

Dylan is clearly out of his flipping mind on something and makes little, if any sense. From the way that he starts off fairly jovial in the first part to the slurred-voiced, nodding-off, face-scratching torpor and talk of vomiting that begins part three, Dylan’s behavior is consistent with a junk user and the viewer practically gets to witness the drug’s effect on him IN REAL TIME! The transformation is something to see. Lennon seems a little embarrassed, and yes, fucked up, but is still willing to play along until their failed attempts at witty wordplay dissolve into nonsense and Dylan seeming to wonder if they’ll make it all the way back to the hotel in time before he pukes his guts out. If John Lennon’s own word is to be trusted, they were both on junk in this footage. This is two of the world’s most famous people, ever, in the entire history of the world, and this is (most probably) them fucked up on heroin together!

How crazy, right?

This is history, baby. Not like great history or anything, but history nonetheless. It’s assumed by most people that they only spent a few minutes in the limo together because that’s what you see in the film and that’s normally what gets posted on YouTube, but they spent more than 20 minutes being shot in that limo. Although it’s fairly excruciating to watch, it is worth it to sit through all of it, once.
 

 
Dylan’s slow descent, after the jump…

 
Happy birthday Bukowski. You are seriously missed.

“Something for The Touts, The Nuns, The Grocery Clerks And You” is Charles Bukowski at his absolute best—angry, bitter, sad, beautiful and funny. From the 1974 collection Burning In Water, Drowning In Flame.

The video is composed of found footage and excerpts from the works of Arthur Lipsett and Gregory Markopoulos.

 
Okay, maybe that’s a slight bit of an overstatement, but not by that much…

Dangerous Minds pal Taylor Jessen writes:

It’s possible that every dirty little secret left in this world may have been compiled into the following Reddit list by the time you click on the link. This is truly epic. And not all bad news (especially if you like Peggy on Mad Men).

He’s right, this is a ton of fun to wade through. I got lost there for the past hour, it was as addictive as Internet K Hole.

Here are some of the top upvoted secrets as I type this, keep in mind that it’s changing constantly:

Diverdave76 writes:

I was a deep sea diver for 10 years in the Gulf of Mexico. Huge oil spills happen and are covered up hundreds of times a year by every company. The entire industry is in on it. The bottom of the gulf is a disgusting garbage dump. Every boat dumps their trash into the gulf no one obeys the laws and the coast guard doesn’t enforce shit.

geekmuseNU writes:

I work on a farm. When they say you should wash your produce thoroughly at home, they’re not joking.

‘Nuff said, there, eh?

jmhoneycutt8 posted:

Half of the so claimed ‘services’ they offer at Jiffy Lube never get completed, either by laziness or it may be impossible to do it the proper way on certain cars. The store’s hours distributed for employees are directly affected by ‘average ticket sales’, which means (at least when I was store manager at one) that if we didn’t have an average of $65+ at the end of the day per car, then we got wrote up. Jiffy Lube is a dirty, evil company that takes advantage of people, and that’s why I left to take a lower position elsewhere. Even though I made less money, I knew I wouldn’t be selling people things they didn’t need. Felt good quitting that fucking place.

Drix22 writes

If you’re in a mental hospital, with a legal guardian who’s been appointed to you because a judge found that you are incapable of making your own decisions you can still vote for the president- and in any other election you like. Voting day at the mental hospital was a shit show.

Like the Madhatter’s red state Tea party?

bridow writes:

I’m a celebrity event photographer in Hollywood. Most of the smaller award shows winners like the MTV VMAs, Teen Choice Awards, etc…already know they are going to win. This motivates the talent to come to the event. During the show they are backstage talking with friends and take a seat during a commercial break just before their award is announced. The few exceptions are the Oscars and Golden Globes where the audience is mostly celebrities.

ShitKickingRampage followed up that one with:

As a former MTV employee, I can confirm. Most of the time the awards are offered to get the artist to come to the event in the first place. They would make up awards to get artists to show up. People watch to see famous people, who are there to be seen. Behind the stage, we just shuffle them from their dressing rooms out to the floor, back to their rooms and then out to the press room where they will get photographed by the AP and photo agencies. It’s a closed off back stage area, where after getting their photo they will step out the door and into a car.

pigmaster8992 had this to say about the veal industry. Not for the squeamish:

I knew a man who was a 4th generation veal guy. One of the last people to be in NYs meatpacking industry he explained to me why I should never eat veal (and I dont)
The “european way” of veal was to cage baby calfs with a chain around their neck so they dont move even an inch. Now the American way which was legally implemented is to have about 12 baby cows in a pen 10x10. This way they have a little movement and its considered more “humane”
Well NY restaurants consider white veal to be the industry standard. Meaning the whiter the meat the better it tastes (it doesnt actually taste any different its an old italian myth) so in order to get white meat what does that mean? You have the bleed out the animal.

In order to bleed out the animal while its alive they pump the calfs with chemicals to make them anemic. But because they are anemic and living in spaces where there are 12 to a pen, they constantly get sick. So in order to keep them alive the have to pump them FULL of antibiotics just so they are barely alive before they are slaughtered. This guy looked me dead in the face and said “dont EVER eat veal” and he owns a business in veal. Guess he didnt expect me to be a redditor…

wakemeupplz writes:

Most people who say this are ignored as kooks, but having worked in pharmaceutical research, I can confirm this:

• We already have developed better, safer medicines than most of the crap currently on the market. However due to the following reasons, most of it will never reach the market.
• FDA Approval costs a fair amount of money and time, and for a “new drug” to be approved takes bloody years. The slightest fuckup in testing and back to the beginning.
• Money. If a new drug discovery is not going to be as profitable as the stuff currently on the market, it will simply be patented and sat on. Research funding: Not enough of it anymore to properly explore all the possibilities.

le_marsh writes:

video editor for major porn company:

90% of every anal scene has to have faecal matter edited out. Baby wipes are stock piled on every single set. I have seen lots of porn stars shit themselves accidentally…. this is the life i chose.

Read much more at reddit.

In 1953 the quirky 66-year-old English poet Edith Sitwell was in need of cash and came to California to write a commissioned article about Hollywood. She had already toured the U.S. doing poetry readings with her brothers Osbert and Sacheverell in 1948. She came from a famously eccentric family and had established herself as a modern poet interested in experimenting with rhythm and word play. Her own unusual style of clothing, jewelry, and make-up was notorious and made her an easy target for her enemies (like Noel Coward). She wore her hair in a colorful turban and had elaborate, lush clothing made in Elizabethan designs, which she wore with large, chunky jewelry. Edith was not a conventionally attractive woman or interested in modern fashions.

So who did Edith’s magazine editors in Hollywood think it would be fun to introduce her to during her visit to Hollywood?

Marilyn Monroe.

They were expecting the two women to dislike each other, much like the time in 1992 when Camille Paglia was seated with Rush Limbaugh at the twenty-fifth anniversary black-tie party for 60 Minutes at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and ended up bonding over cigars and Scotch. Instead of giving the waiting photographers a good scandal, Edith and Marilyn hit it off immediately. Edith described Marilyn in her autobiography Taken Care Of:

In repose her face was at moments strangely, prophetically tragic, like the face of a beautiful ghost – a little spring-ghost, an innocent fertility daemon, the vegetation spirit that was Ophelia.

Marilyn was an autodidact but her intellectual curiosity and love of books were not considered consistent with her sex symbol image. Marilyn and Edith sat together chatting happily about Austrian philosopher, esoteric spiritual writer, and founder of anthroposophy Rudolf Steiner, whose books Marilyn had recently been reading.

Edith and Marilyn met up again in 1956 in London when Marilyn was there with her third husband, playwright Arthur Miller, filming The Prince and the Showgirl.

Dame Edith Sitwell in 1959 discussing her strange family and meeting Marilyn Monroe (around 2:53), below:
 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘I Do Not Wish My Nose…Nailed to Other People’s Lavatories’: Dame Edith Sitwell on ‘Naked Lunch’

 
The author of Scarlett Takes Manhattan and the web comics “Backstage” and “Puppet Makers” might fairly be counted as an unlikely source for a significant information on the current status of the Global War on Terror, but Molly Crabapple is one of the few human beings on earth the U.S. government has granted permission to sketch drawings of the pre-trial hearings of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and his co-conspirators as well as the conditions at Guantánamo Bay itself. Crabapple recently returned from a trip to Guantánamo and reported her findings (and drawings) in a VICE article entitled “It Don’t Gitmo Better Than This: Inside the Dark Heart of Guantánamo Bay.”
 
In an interview, Talking Points Memo’s Catherine Thompson asked Crabapple what single thing she would want the world to know about Guantánamo:
 

CRABAPPLE: I want them to know that a lot of the people there probably aren’t guilty. I think that’s the most important takeaway from it, that a lot of the people there were people who were sold for bounties that we have no proof that they did anything, and that they’re just stuck there because of politics.

 

 

 

 

 
More after the jump…
 

 
Now here’s a genre you probably have never heard of: songs about uranium prospecting! Wait, really? Sure! Pop has always celebrated the latest and greatest thing, even when the latest and greatest thing is the inexorable power of an atom’s energy to shred the very marrow of your bones. 

In December 1945, with Hiroshima and Nagasaki just a few months in the past, Slim Gaillard Quartette [sic] recorded “Atomic Cocktail” for release in early 1946. The song ushered in the age of charming little ditties about mushroom clouds and similarly amusing subjects. The lines “You push a button, turn a dial / Your work is done for miles and miles” have to count as one of the most appallingly insensitive lyrics ever written, given the nuclear devastation in southern Japan in August 1945; it’s difficult to imagine a comparable song about Auschwitz, but who knows? Perhaps there is one. The high point of this very loose genre is probably Dexter Gordon’s 1947 recording of “Bikini,” which, while a charming melody, somehow fails to capture the extensive U.S. nuclear testing on the Pacific island from 1946 to 1958.

In the mid- to late 1950s, intense uranium prospecting was being compared to the original Gold Rush in the 1840s. Wikipedia gives us the assist here: “Intensive exploration for uranium started after the end of World War II as a result of the military and civilian demand for uranium. There were three separate periods of uranium exploration or ‘booms.’ These were from 1956 to 1960, 1967 to 1971, and from 1976 to 1982.” Judging from the welter of songs about uranium that came out in 1955, that first span may be a little late. The Commodores’ “Uranium” and Elton Britt’s “Uranium Fever” both date from that year. Whereas the Commodores sang of “going to the mountains and make a uranium strike,” Elton Britt, in what is almost certainly a unique move in rock history, calls out the “AEC” (Atomic Energy Commission) thus: “Well I had talk with the AEC / And they brought out some maps that looked good to me.” Typical of the genre was Warren Smith’s 1958 “Uranium Rock”: “I got a big Geiger counter, it’s a pretty good rig / When the needle starts clickin’ it’s where I’m gonna dig.”

By the late 1950s and early 1960s, a certain heady cynicism had settled in: the incessant talk of bomb shelters and the terrifying week-plus of the Cuban Missile Crisis in October 1962 almost certainly played a key role in etching a profound taste for gallows humor and black comedy into an entire generation. In Tom Lehrer’s 1959 “We Will All Go Together When We Go” is a pivotal text in the development of this incipient “take” on nuclear annihilation:
 

 
Similar songs in that vein included Chris Cerf’s 1961 double-parentheses’d ”(My) Fallout Filly (With The Atomic Kiss)” from the album The Harvard Tabernacle Choir Sings At Leningrad Stadium and (inspired by the movie) 1964’s “Love That Bomb” by the Dr. Strangelove and the Fallouts.

We’ll leave you with the jaw-droppingly clueless “Tic, Tic, Tic,” from Michael Curtiz’s 1949 My Dream Is Yours, a movie that Martin Scorsese has cited as an important early influence on his sensibility. In all other respects this scene appears to be the classic “newcomer impresses at audition” scene that was a staple in so many similar movies from the 1930s to the 1950s, except that here nobody comments on the grisly subject matter.
 

(Conelrad’s essential Atomic Platters website was indispensable for the writing of this post.)

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Nuclear Explosions Since 1945
Nuclear Reactor Wall Charts!

 
Anyone who’s grooved to “Theme from Sparta FC” from the Fall’s 2003 The Real New Fall LP (Formerly Country on the Click) has probably figured out that postpunk legend Mark E. Smith is a serious fan of football, or as we say in the United States, “soccer.”

“Theme from Sparta FC” is a fanciful meditation on the existence of a soccer team in ancient Greece, quite possibly one of the Fall’s more immediately comprehensible compositions. Since 2005, much to the BBC’s credit, the song has been used as the theme music to the “Final Score” section of BBC television’s Saturday afternoon sports coverage.

On November 19, 2005, the producers of the show invited Smith into the studio to read the day’s results. For anyone who has indulged in the Fall’s indelible catalogue, Smith’s scarcely modulated rendition of the scores (“Reading 3, Hull City 1 ... Sheffield United 2, Millwall 2 ... Southhampton Town 3, Leeds United 4” ...) needs little more than a typically hypnotic Fall bassline to become an accepted part of the Fall canon.

The Mancunian‎ Smith, not very surprisingly, is a Manchester City fan, and it is to be presumed that he despises his club’s crosstown rivals, the far wealthier and more successful Manchester United. On that particular day Manchester United bested Charlton Athletic 3-0, whereas Manchester City had to settle for a 0-0 draw against the Blackburn Rovers. Later in the clip, Smith calls Manchester City’s performance “hopeless, as usual.” Smith also makes fun of the haircut of host Ray Stubbs and disparages England’s national team as a collection of eleven millionaires rather than a cohesive unit of cooperating players.

In 2010, Smith recorded an earnest (for him) World Cup ditty titled “England’s Heartbeat” for reasons unknown, that includes a sing-along chorus and the inspirational phrase “Like a rainbow through a storm.”
 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
The Pint-sized Mark E. Smith: Coming to a bar near you
Mark E. Smith fabric doll
Mark E. Smith As A Mancunian Jesus