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‘Gimme a bitch pie with extra PMS’: Domino’s employees have their very own pizza slang
11.20.2017
10:34 am
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Anyone who has served in the military or spent time in prison can attest that shared miseries will tend to enforce a camaraderie on the poor drudges forced to undergo the experience. When such situations arise it is only natural for the co-sufferers to dream up humorous shared lingo to lighten the emotional load. So prisoners call heroin, meth, or cocaine “papers,” and folks in the military have been known to use the term “shortarm” to mean penis—there’s a sneaky reference to a “shortarm inspection” in the movie M*A*S*H

It might not be directly comparable to prison or the army, but working for Domino’s Pizza might be regarded as a severe trial in its own right—so it should not be too surprising to learn that Domino’s Pizza employees have developed a funny, rude lingo all their own.

In 1996 a woman named Gwen Foss who had been an employee of Domino’s for several years compiled a small glossary of pizza jargon that she had picked up along the way. It was published in Maledicta, a fascinating journal that once billed itself as “the international journal of verbal aggression.”

Her list of terms is full of abbreviations and other terms that Domino’s employees would never use in front of a customer. There’s the “PMS pie,” so called because it features pepperoni, mushrooms, and sausage, and the “bondage pie,” because sausage and mushrooms equals S&M and that adds up to bondage. When you order a pie with extra sauce, know that the employees are calling it either a “blood pie” or a “hemorrhage.” Due to its visual appearance, all the terms for “sausage” relate to dog food: Alpo, Kibbles n’ Bits, Puppy Chow, etc.

Every town has its pizza places, and who knows what terms are used in them, but Domino’s is an unusual breeding ground for pizza slang because of two factors: the speed with which Domino’s employees have to work, a legacy of the famous 30-minute delivery guarantee, and the fact that a large corporation like Domino’s is prone to shuffling employees around geographically, which has the effect of spreading the terms around. As Foss says, “Many of the words they use are commands that are shouted to one another, and the same expressions get moved from store to store because Domino’s shares employees.”

Some of the slang isn’t all that specific to pizza. For example, a customer who can’t remember his or her own address is called a “stoner.” At least it’s true that Domino’s employees encounter more than their fair share of stoners. Then again, a “starver,” a person who denies ever ordering a pizza in the hopes of a discount, surely is a type that Domino’s delivery people are all too familiar with.

Here’s a fuller list of Foss’ Domino’s slang:
 

Alpo: Taken from the dog-food brand and used to describe sausage topping. Other words for sausage include Kibbles n’ Bits, Puppy Chow, dog food and Snausages.

Bitch pie: pizza with PMS (pepperoni, mushroom, sausage).

Blood pie: A pizza with extra sauce. Also called a hemorrhage.

Bondage pie: pizza with S and M (sausage and mushrooms).

Carp: Term for anchovies. Also called guppies, chovies, flippers, penguin food, smellies.

Destroy: To top a pizza with everything, given as a command: “Destroy it!”

Edgar Allan: A slang expression for a pizza with pepperoni (P) and onions (O) - making it a PO pie, as in Edgar Allan Poe.

Flyers and fungus: Expression for a pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Pepperoni slices are called “flyers” because they can be thrown like Frisbees.

Free green peppers: a sneeze. From the similarity of slimy green peppers and green nasal mucus.

Green slime: Term for green peppers, coined because they are sometimes inadequately stored. Peppers are also called “mangos” and “seaweed.”

Hawaiian pie: A pizza with ham and pineapple. Other terms for ham are hammer, pig slices, squealers, piggy parts and sliders.

Hot peckers: hot peppers.

Pee on it!: command by the pizza-maker instructing someone on the line to place pepperoni on a pizza.

Placer: A customer who places a hair on a pizza and then complains about it in hopes of getting a discount or a free pizza.

Republican pizza: A pizza with GOP (green peppers, onions, pepperoni).

Screamer: a large juicy chunk of a canned mushroom that emits a high-pitched sound when rubbed on a hot surface.

Screamers and squealers: A pizza with mushrooms and bacon.

Sliced testicles: picture-perfect mushroom slices.

Starver: A customer who orders a pizza, then claims he didn’t order it but will buy it at a discount.

Stoner: A customer who doesn’t know his own address. Taken from “stoned,” as being under the influence of drugs.

Vulture pie: A badly made pizza, suitable only for vultures or for eating by employees.

Zapping zits: popping the bubbles in the crust of a pizza as it cooks.

 

Posted by Martin Schneider
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11.20.2017
10:34 am
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Look at the kitty! Pranksters force milk-lapping footage on unsuspecting Times Square tourists
11.17.2017
09:20 am
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One of the many legacies of the experimental art movements of the middle of the last century has been a heightened tolerance for weird site-specific art nonsense. The Fluxus folks certainly come to mind in that regard, as do the works of artists as varied as Christo and Jeanne-Claude, Chris Burden, Marina Abramović, Robert Smithson, and Barbara Kruger.

In the 1980s Swiss artists Peter Fischli and David Weiss, who went by Fischli/Weiss, cornered the market on a certain kind of gentle, homespun art. Their best-known work is probably 1987’s Der Lauf der Dinge (The Way Things Go), a video in which a sort of Rube Goldberg machine plays itself out, using only the kind of junk one might find in a painter’s studio. That entities such as the Honda Motor Company and OK Go would (many years later) “outdo” the feat doesn’t obscure the droll manner in which they attacked the problem, as well as the fact that they attempted such an idea with zero possibility of the clip ever going viral.

One of their ten precepts for their How to Work Better is “Distinguish Sense from Nonsense,” which is a trickier task than it might first appear. If you’re standing in Times Square, is it “sense” or “nonsense” if one of the massive displays suddenly shows footage of a kittykat lapping up milk, without a tangible product or purpose to be discerned? Well, that depends if you’re a corporate manager or an anarchist, right?
 

 
Fischli and Weiss worked collaboratively for more than three decades until the sad passing of Weiss in 2012. They were outstanding purveyors of nonsense; for instance, they had animal alter egos—a rat and a bear—that they liked to adopt in their artworks.

In 2001 Fischli/Weiss put together a six-minute clip of a cat blithely drinking milk from a saucer, and managed to have it screened in Times Square on “an oversized video screen” (specifically the Times Square Astrovision) for a project called The 59th Minute. The title of the work is Büsi (Kitty); it was actually an excerpt from Fischli/Weiss’ massive 96-hour video installation Untitled (Venice Work), which appeared at the 1995 Venice Biennale (in case you were inclined to think of the duo as lazy). In a statement, Fischli let it be known that “Büsi was not made as a discussion about kitsch. There was just something super-nice about this cat that we were attracted to.”

In a way, this was the “original cat video.”

In February 2016, the project was revived, as the video was shown on approximately 60 screens (!) in Times Square for the last three minutes of every day for a period lasting more than three weeks.

According to the notes that accompany the video:
 

While the lush, high-definition quality of the Büsi video suggests a commercial for a pet product, the lack of a soundtrack, deliberate overexposure, and slapdash framing give the work the look of an amateur video of a family pet. By simply changing the frame of reference, by restaging the commonplace within the landscape of art and/or commerce, Fischli and Weiss make the ordinary seem extraordinary.

 
Catch the video after the jump…....
 

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Posted by Martin Schneider
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11.17.2017
09:20 am
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This mouth-watering Instagram is dedicated to real-life re-creations of food from Miyazaki movies
11.14.2017
08:55 am
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It’s been noted that all of Hayao Miyazaki’s movies, in addition to being a feast for the eyes, are positively obsessed with food. There’s always a section in every movie where the characters enjoy a bite to eat, and in every case the food is meticulously observed and rendered. The food can be grand or simple, doesn’t matter, the same careful attention to detail, whether it’s the feast of the king in The Cat Returns or Umi’s cooking in Up on Poppy Hill or the candies in Grave of the Fireflies.

Some dedicated Instagrammer going by the name 01ghibli23 has decided to recreate the meals of Miyazaki’s movies in real life, right down to the careful positioning of the egg on the bread or the pieces of carrot on the plate. In addition to these re-creations, there are also pix of Miyazaki’s posters and Totoro-shaped cookies and stuff like that.

Great, now I want to watch all of Miyazaki’s movies and I’m hungry….. Actually that’s not a bad place to be at all!
 

Breakfast from Howl’s Moving Castle
 

Ramen from Ponyo
 

Breakfast from Kiki’s Delivery Service
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Martin Schneider
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11.14.2017
08:55 am
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‘Nicolastick’: Japan turns actor Nicolas Cage into a snack food (because of course they did)
10.05.2017
08:57 am
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The “Nicolastick’ by Japanese snack giant, Umaibo. Actor Nicolas Cage is pictured on the package in character for the film ‘Army of One.’ Only available in Japan. BOO!
 
So here’s a thing you may or may not know about actor Nicolas Cage, he never stops working. This year alone he has been attached to eight movies (a few are currently in post-production) as well as two more set for 2018 release that are also in post-production. In 2016 Cage starred in Army of One—a film about a man who (after being visited by God) goes on a search and destroy mission to get Osama Bin Laden.

The reason I bring up that cinematic catastrophe is that the film is about to make its premiere in Japan where it is amusingly known as “Bin Laden is my Target.”  And purchasing a ticket to one of the showings is the only way that you can score a package of Umaibo’s special “Nicolastick” foodstuff starting on October 13th. Known as the “delicious stick” in Japan, Umaibo makes a huge variety of the flavored corn snacks such as “Beef Tongue,” “Shrimp and Mayonnaise,” and “Salami” that is rumored to contain fragrant notes of delicious Cheeto dust. So what flavor did Mr. Cage’s Nicolastick get? Apparently, dull old plain old corn was good enough for this bizarre bit of publicity. I’m quite sure this strange promotional snack will show up on auction sites like eBay before too long so don’t worry! You still might get a chance to say that you know what a Nicolastick tastes like.

Life goals, I’ve got ‘em. Do you?

More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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10.05.2017
08:57 am
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Meat Packing: Bloody, gruesome, hyperrealistic paintings of chopped-up body parts (NSFW)
09.28.2017
09:27 am
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So, dear readers, what’s for dinner tonight? Maybe a little chicken? Maybe a nice juicy steak with all the trimmings? Or how about a tasty leg of lamb? Or what do you say to a good ole slab of bacon? Hmmm, sounds delicious, doesn’t it? But wait, why stop there? What about a well-grilled slice of dog? Or maybe some barbecued cat? Or, what about something a bit closer to home?

If you’re willing to chow down on a juicy beef burger then why not a cat burger? Cows have as much personality as cats or dogs and quite a few humans too. Our bovine pals have their likes and dislikes, their mood swings, their affections, they can even fall in love, get stressed, and like to share a private cow joke or two. So what’s the big problem with eating meat if we’re not going to put felines, canines, chimps, and even humans on the menu too?

Oh, don’t tell me you’re suddenly squeamish about a lickle-bitty kitty? Hell, when most of you go into that supermarket you positively drool over all those tasty meaty morsels bagged, sealed, and wrapped like kinky Christmas presents on display. Let’s be honest, we rarely ever think about what the fuck we’re actually looking at before popping it in our basket. I know I don’t. I just laden up the old trolley and head back home to an artery-clogging meat-filled breakfast, lunch, dinner time, and tea. That’s right, just wipe that cow’s ass and pass me mah knife and fork.

Of course, if that’s your take on eating meat products, then you won’t be at all put off by Brazilian artist Fábio Magalhães‘s hyperrealistic paintings of human body parts diced, chopped, and gutted like some poor cow or pig or sheep and neatly bagged up for our consumption. Magalhães’s paintings are simultaneously extraordinary works of painterly beauty and gruesome depictions of bloody horror. His intention is in part to make the viewer think about the meat industry, about eating meat, and what it is we’re actually consuming.

Magalhães started his “intimate” meat portraits with the series O Grande Corpo (The Great Body) in 2008, in which he worked from photographs of his face and body tightly wrapped in polythene. The paintings present a complex visceral image of gruesome horror together with, in some images, an association of auto-eroticism. Magalhães next produced a more bloody series of Retratos Íntimos (Intimate Portraits) which show in incredible detail images of innards, body parts, and blood products all wrapped in polythene. The high quality of his painting technique together with the subject matter make it almost “impossible [for the viewer] not to react with the heart.”

By exposing the viewer to images of brutalized body parts, Magalhães is also asking the viewer to question what it means to be human. He has divested the human body from its imposed religious, psychological, historical, and personal significance to question what makes our existence different from any other animal if all we are is the same flesh and bone?

Magalhães grew up in Bahia in north-eastern Brazil. He took an ealy interest in painting and drawing and spent hours looking at and copying paintings by artists as diverse as Picasso, Caravaggio, and Jackson Pollock from the pages of his father’s encyclopedia. He went on to study at the Fine Arts School of the Federal University of Bahia. Since then, he has been exhibiting his work since 2003, with his paintings shown in group and solo shows across most of South America. You can see more of Fábio Magalhães’s work here.
 
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See more of Fábio Magalhães’s bloody brilliant paintings, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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09.28.2017
09:27 am
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Human skull bowl
09.26.2017
10:04 am
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I totally want this human skull bowl by Etsy shop Catacomb Culture. The handmade skull bowl sells for $100. Kind of pricey in my opinion, but isn’t it a beauty? The bowl is perfect for Halloween or just because you want to eat out of a damned skull bowl! No one is judging you.

According to the listing it’s not machine washable, it’s hand wash only!


 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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09.26.2017
10:04 am
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Inflatable coffin float for all your goth pool party needs
09.06.2017
11:17 am
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Who doesn’t need an inflatable black coffin, right? I know I do. I’m not sure if this is meant for a goth pool party or if it’s just an inflatable coffin cooler for absinthe drinks. According to the description, it can be used as a buffet or used on a floor, packed with ice to keep food or beverages cool. Apparently it can hold up to 60 12-Oz cans.

It’s being sold on Horror-Shop.com for $28.95.

I actually found the same item on Amazon for $17.49 here.

Posted by Tara McGinley
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09.06.2017
11:17 am
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Pharaoh’s Den, the Sun Ra-themed grocery store in Philadelphia
08.25.2017
07:50 am
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The Pharaoh’s Den sign in ‘Sun Ra: A Joyful Noise
 
“PHARAOH FED THE NATIONS OF THE WORLD FOR 7 YEARS,” the sign in Germantown proclaimed. “THE FIRST SUPERMARKET.” This was the entrance to Pharaoh’s Den, a grocery store run by Sun Ra’s saxophonist and manager Danny Thompson during the Arkestra’s Philadelphia period. When I finally get that time machine, I will do all of my shopping here and at Leonard Nimoy’s Pet Pad.

Just thinking about a day in Danny Thompson’s life during those years makes my feet hurt. Ra biographer John F. Szwed writes that running the store, which was financed by Thompson’s mother, was only one of the saxophonist’s responsibilities as the person tasked with keeping the Arkestra in funds. When he wasn’t busy in all-day rehearsals or running Pharaoh’s Den, Thompson wore a salesman’s hat, dealing stacks of El Saturn’s unlovely vinyl.

Danny Thompson’s approach to the sale of records was what he called improvisation, and what others might call shtick: a mixture of messianic zeal, hustle, and moxie. When he entered Third Street Jazz & Blues with handfuls of 45s, some of which looked warped, handmade, maybe not even recorded on, he launched into a pitch that assured the sales staff that no other store would be getting these records, that they were a unique product, collectors’ items, that they would immediately sell out…then, more ominously, that they were dangerous. After such a spiel, who could say to him only, “We’ll take a couple”? When asked what the returns policy was for defective records, Thompson would answer, “The Creator works in mysterious ways.”

Thompson described the grind of working for “the Creator” in a recent onstage discussion with his colleague, Marshall Allen. “It was like you going to a construction job,” he said.

I became Sun Ra’s manager for like 10 years. It will burn you out. Really, I’m not going to lie. If everything went wrong, it was on you. If everything went right, it was on, “Sun Ra did it.” It was just so much. It was so much that I left for a while, but you never really leave. I took a vacation like 10 years.

See film footage of the Pharaoh’s Den after the jump…

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Posted by Oliver Hall
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08.25.2017
07:50 am
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Yep! At long last there’s a Flying Spaghetti Monster colander!
08.17.2017
11:10 am
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Perfect headwear for your next driver’s license photo, this is the Flying Spaghetti Monster Colander designed by Lior Rokah Kor. The colander is available through Ototo for only $18. The Flying Spaghetti Monster Colander is on preorder and will be available with a September 6, 2017 release.

Since it’s plastic, I’m going to assume that it might not be dishwasher safe. 


 
Some examples of Pastafarians wearing colanders in their driver’s license photos:


 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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08.17.2017
11:10 am
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Fruitopia commercials scored by Kate Bush and the Cocteau Twins
08.16.2017
08:12 am
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If I say the word “Fruitopia” to you, there’s a decent chance you’ll respond with some comment about the 1990s—the savviest among you might even say “1994” specifically. Fruitopia was the brainchild of a marketing head at Coca-Cola named Sergio Zyman—he also brought the world the overt GenX pandering elixir OK Cola right around the same time. The fruit-flavored tea concoction was a clear attempt to move in on the territory staked out by Snapple, and while Fruitopia had its day in the sun, as is often the case the first product to define a niche gets to own that niche.

Fruitopia is remembered today for its neo-hippie trappings. The flavors had names like The Grape Beyond, Tangerine Wavelength, Citrus Consciousness, and Raspberry Psychic Lemonade, and the marketing consisted mainly of trippy and “deep” kaleidoscope commercials featuring cosmic music scored and performed by Kate Bush and the Cocteau Twins and the Muffs, among others.
 

 
Marty Cooke and Andrew Chinich of Chiat/Day oversaw the campaign; they reached out to Bush and were delighted when she agreed to do nine spots for the drink. According to Cooke, Bush indicated that “she was interested in providing a lot of variety, from Japanese drummers to Moroccan music ... and she came through in spades.”

In Graeme Thomson’s book Kate Bush: Under the Ivy, we get this:
 

[Bush] accepted a commission to write several brief pieces of music to accompany the $30m US TV ad campaign for the launch of Coca-Cola’s ne fruit drink Fruitopia…. It seemed an incongruous move. Bush had consistently turned down advances of this nature….

The motivation for her changing tack wasn’t clear but was probably varied: far from the commercial ingenue she sometimes appears, certainly the financial rewards would have been extremely significant; perhaps she liked the tone of the ads, which were relatively innoative and visually stimulating and over which she was given complete artistic control. She may also have recognised an opportunity to cast the net of her music a little wider, while also finding a home for all the melodic waifs and rhythmic strays that had never quite found a home in her “proper” songs. ... [each melody hinted] at a longer piece, several reminiscent of the kind of odd, rhythmic, electronic pop she was making around the time of The Dreaming.

 
Here are the ads—in some of them, Bush supplies identifiable vocals, as in “Fighting Fruit” in which you can hear her chant “Hey hey fruit!” and “Skin,” in which you can hear her uttering a sort of “bol,” or Indian rhythmic syllable, that sounds like “digga dha.”

Kate Bush, “Fighting Fruit”

 
Much more after the jump…...
 

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Posted by Martin Schneider
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08.16.2017
08:12 am
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