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Sinéad O’Connor is looking for love
08.29.2011
05:44 am

Topics:
Current Events
Music

Tags:
Ireland
Sin
Lonely Hearts

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Sinéad O’Connor wants a man, according Ireland’s Sunday Independent, in which the singer wrote an article in search of Mr Right.

So, if nothing compares to you and you’re over 44 years of age, based in Ireland and are “very snuggly” and “not wham-bam” (though occasionally “wham bam”), then this may be of interest:

The man who runs my site will protectively suggest I may want to visit the bathroom for a few intimate moments and a subsequent cold shower before deciding to post this on the site but I will of course ignore him as it’s too late now and the her-moans are having the best of me.

I recently read of a woman in America who married and regularly humps her truck. I don’t yet own a truck but I’m beginning to understand her head space. And am worried I too may be so desperate for sex that within days I might run up the road and hump Bray Cabs’ whole fleet of cars in one hour. Forty quid clear-up afterward. Can’t say fairer than that. Except maybe a photo for their website. Which’d be fine.

My situation sexually/affectionately speaking is so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good, as are inappropriate and/or unavailable men and/or inappropriate and/or unavailable fruits and vegetables. I tell you, yams are looking like the winners. I actually do know

a woman who is a performance artist from America. I have a photo of her being escorted arm-in-arm by two UK policemen on to a plane back home cuz she humped a yam in the middle of her show. I just know that’s going to happen to me if I don’t take drastic action.

Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse. Yet I am in the peak of my sexual prime and way too lovely to be living like a nun, and it’s VERY depressing.

So I’ve been pondering on whether or not I should join some Irish dating agencies. Of course if I did it would end up in papers

so I may as well save myself the registration fees. Besides which, a friend of mine uses dating agencies

and half the men actually have wives.

Am in desperate need of a very sweet sex-starved man. He must be no younger than 44.

Must be living in Ireland but I don’t care if he is from the planet Zog.

Must not be named Brian or Nigel.

Must be blind enough to think I’m gorgeous.

Has to be employed. Am not fussy in what capacity generally but vehicle clampers need not apply.

Leather trouser-wearing gardai, fire-men, rugby players, farmers and Robert Downey Jnr will be given special consideration. As will literally anyone who applies.

I like me a hairy man, so buffed and/or waxed need not apply.

No hair gel.

No hair dryer use.

No hair dye.

Stubble is a non-negotiable must. Any removal of stubble would be upsetting for me.

No aftershave.

Must be very ‘snuggly’. Not just wham-bam.

Must be wham-bam.

Has to like his mother.

Has to like his ex and/or mother/s of his children.

Has to live in own place.

Countless rumours have it that opera singers are recommended to have sex half an hour before each show. So by even applying you are part of my artistic advancement.

Interested parties can apply at (for real): vampyahslayah at yahoo dot com

 
Via Ireland’s Sunday Independent
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Dangerous Train Stunt
08.29.2011
04:39 am

Topics:
Games

Tags:
Stunts
Trains
Dangerous

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This comes with the customary warning: ‘Do not try this’.
 

 
With thanks to Jonathan Mackenzie
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
The Secret Mystic Teachings OF The Velvet Underground part two
08.28.2011
11:59 pm

Topics:
Music
Punk

Tags:
Amp Tapes part 2
The Velvet Undergound


 
More from the interior of Lou Reed’s amplifier.

The Velvet Underground played Boston on March, 15 1969 at famed music venue The Boston Tea Party. Someone put a microphone inside Lou Reed’s amplifier and the result is pretty magnificent.

Bootlegged as The Legendary Guitar Amp Tapes, the recordings are formidable in their unadulterated rock and roll fire and fury and a revelation for anyone who hasn’t paid close attention to Reed’s dynamic guitar playing

A beautifully seductive, gently brutal and ultimately ferocious version of “Heroin” is followed by an incendiary “Sister Ray” driven by Moe Tucker’s shamanic skin thumping and Lou Reed’s electronic raping and pillaging of the small villages in our punk rock imaginations.

This is rock and roll at its magical best. And when I say “magical” I refer to that which draws our attention to the spirit that animates concrete, steel, meat and heartbeat. When it’s truly divine, and in this case it is, divinity pulses through radiant, vacuum tubes made of metallic alloys, ionic melts, aqueous solutions, molecular liquids, pumping mystic fire into the wet molecular slop of our hungry brains resonating from the head to the cock/pussy and all the way down to the balls of our feet. And then we move…and then we dance…and then…rock godhood descends upon us like a sweet cloak of diaphanous love juice.

Play this so loud that your neighbors pound the walls, begging and imploring you to rent a room in the Super 8 up the block. Ignore them. Or invite them in.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
The Velvet Underground vs. Godzilla!!!


 
The Velvet Underground played Boston on March, 15 1969 at famed music venue The Boston Tea Party. Someone put a microphone inside Lou Reed’s amplifier and the result is pretty magnificent.

Bootlegged as The Legendary Guitar Amp Tapes, the recordings are formidable in their unadulterated rock and roll fire and fury and a revelation for anyone who hasn’t paid close attention to Reed’s dynamic guitar playing which in this set is a monolithic roar, a pulverizing electronic kaiju (strange beast) grinding whole universes into pebble and sand.

Listen as Louzilla annihilates the planets and their multiple moons with blasts of amplified frequencies as sublime as they are world crushing. This is the sound of heavy metal thunder!

I’ll be posting more soon.

The louder, the better.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Hit the North: Lindsay Anderson’s ‘The White Bus’, 1967

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The year before he made If…, Lindsay Anderson produced and directed The White Bus, a short film adapted by Shelagh Delaney, from her short story “Sweetly Sings the Donkey”.

The White Bus was originally commissioned as one third of a three-part film RED, WHITE & ZERO, to be directed by Anderson and his “Free Cinema” collaborators, Tony Richardson and Karel Reisz. It proved an ill-fated project, and The White Bus was the only part to be finished and given a cinematic release.

Delaney was best known for her play A Taste of Honey, while Anderson had established himself as critic and as a documentary film maker, winning an Oscar for one of his first films, Thursday’s Children in 1954. Anderson was also Britain’s leading theater director.

In 1963, Anderson directed This Sporting Life, starring Richard Harris and Rachel Roberts, and based on a novel by David Storey.

Writers were important to Anderson, and he formed highly successful collaborations with a handful of playwrights and authors. In theater,his work with David Storey produced the acclaimed dramas In Celebration, Home, The Changing Room and Life Class. While his collaboration with David Sherwin led to the Mick Travis trilogy, If…, O, Lucky Man! and Britannia Hospital.

The White Bus has many of the hallmarks of Anderson’s later films (most notably O, Lucky Man! ), and suggests that the teamwork of Anderson-Delaney could have led to greater works. One can only wonder how Delaney’s film, Charlie Bubbles would have turned out if Anderson had directed it.

The White Bus stars Patricia Healey, and features Arthur Lowe, Anthony Hopkins, and is the story of a young woman numbed by London life, who returns to Salford in search of her northern roots.

Through the eyes of her disillusioned protagonist, Delaney creates a beautifully warped city symphony about an industrial town vivid with history yet ever-changing.

 

 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Austin Craigslist: Drunk clown needed
08.28.2011
12:48 pm

Topics:
Advertorial
Amusing

Tags:
Craigslist
Drunk clown


 
Seen on today’s Austin Craigslist:

Drunk Clown needed to party with a group of friends this Sunday.

Dress up like a clown, be willing to get drunk, and hang out with a cool group of people and bar hop with us this Sunday (August 28th) You will meet us at Kung Fu probably around 3:00 pm- (you MUST be dressed up like a clown, face paint.. etc… it would be awesome if you had those little blow up balloons with you too).... and we will have a Sunday Fun day on West 6th. We will pay you $10 an hour, and pay for your drinks. Contact me for details.

 
Thanks Angel Trevino.

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Elisabeth Welch sings ‘Stormy Weather’

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Elisabeth Welch sings “Stormy Weather” from the finale of Derek Jarman’s adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, from 1979.

To all those on the Eastern Seaboard, who have been or are being affected by Hurricane Irene, stay safe and take care.
 

 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
William Burroughs Plays Drums
08.27.2011
03:41 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Heroes
Music

Tags:
William Burroughs
Drums

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Almost suitable for “The Intro and The Outro” - here’s William Burroughs on drums.

Hmmm, nice, Bill.
 

 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
DJ Jazzy Jay and Afrika Bambaataa: How to scratch
08.26.2011
05:20 pm

Topics:
Hip-hop
Music
Television

Tags:
Afrika Bambaataa
Jazzy Jay


 
DJ Jazzy Jay and Afrika Bambaataa demonstrate the art of scratching for a studio full of kids in a 1984 episode of Nickelodeon’s Live Wire.

Check out audience member Ad-Rock (Adam Horovitz) of The Beastie Boys slipping in a plug for “Cookie Puss.”
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Hunter Thompson’s ‘The Rum Diary’ movie trailer


 
The film version of Hunter S. Thompson’s novel “The Rum Diary” is finally hitting the screen on October 28 after a long and tumultuous trip through development hell. The movie had been optioned by now-defunct production company The Shooting Gallery who never managed to get it off the ground.

On January 22, 2001, in a fit of frustration and anger, Thompson sent production executive Holly Sorensen the following letter:

Hunter S. Thompson
Woody Creek

HOLLY SORENSON / Shooting Gallery / Hollywood / Jan 22 ‘01

Dear Holly,

Okay, you lazy bitch, I’m getting tired of this waterhead fuckaround that you’re doing with The Rum Diary.

We are not even spinning our wheels aggresivly. It’s like the whole Project got turned over to Zombies who live in cardboard boxes under the Hollywood Freeway… I seem to be the only person who’s doing anything about getting this movie Made. I have rounded up Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Brad Pitt, Nick Nolte & a fine screenwriter from England, named Michael Thomas, who is a very smart boy & has so far been a pleasure to talk to & conspire with…

So there’s yr. fucking Script & all you have to do now is act like a Professional & Pay him. What the hell do you think Making a Movie is all about? Nobody needs to hear any more of that Gibberish about yr. New Mercedes & yr. Ski Trips & how Hopelessly Broke the Shooting Gallery is…. If you’re that fucking Poor you should get out of the Movie Business. It is no place for Amateurs & Dilletants who don’t want to do anything but “take lunch” & Waste serious people’s Time.

Fuck this. We have a good writer, we have the main parts casted & we have a very marketable movie that will not even be hard to make….

And all you are is a goddamn Bystander, making stupid suggestions & jabbering now & then like some half-bright Kid with No Money & No Energy & no focus except on yr. own tits…. I’m sick of hearing about Cuba & Japs & yr. Yo-yo partners who want to change the story because the violence makes them Queasy.

Shit on them. I’d much rather deal with a Live asshole than a Dead worm with No Light in his Eyes…. If you people don’t want to Do Anything with this movie, just cough up the Option & I’ll talk to someone else. The only thing You’re going to get by quitting and curling up in a Fetal position is relentless Grief and Embarrassment. And the one thing you won’t have is Fun…

Okay, That’s my Outburst for today. Let’s hope that it gets Somebody off the dime. And if you don’t Do Something QUICK you’re going to Destroy a very good idea. I’m in the mood to chop yr. fucking hands off.

R.S.V.P

(Signed)

HUNTER

cc:
Depp
Benecio
M. Thomas
Nolte
Shapiro

Here’s the trailer for The Rum Diary. It’s directed by Bruce Robinson based on his own screenplay. Robinson wrote and directed the fabulous Withnail And I, one of my all-time favorite movies. The Rum Diary is produced by and stars Johnny Depp who was close and very loyal to Thompson. These are good indicators that the movie may be a fine one indeed.

Robinson, a recovering alcoholic, was hit with a bad case of writer’s block while working on the screenplay for the movie. He jumped off the wagon and managed to kickstart his Muse by drinking a bottle of booze a day. I guess he needed to get into a gonzo frame of mind. Once the work was done, he immediately went back to his life of sobriety.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
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