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‘Tutti Frutti,’ Little Richard’s graphic ode to butt sex?
03.20.2015
07:08 am

Topics:
Music
Sex

Tags:
Little Richard


 
Never forget that “Tutti Frutti”—the song grandma danced to, the song you sang at the church picnic, the song that lent its name to a popular chain of frozen yogurt stands—began as a bawdy celebration of butt sex. Little Richard recorded bowdlerized lyrics for his 1955 hit single, and the popularity of the throwaway tune, whose main appeal seemed to reside in the original version’s goofy lyrics about lust and lube, took its author by surprise:

I’d been singing “Tutti Frutti” for years, but it never struck me as a song you’d record. I didn’t go to New Orleans to record no “Tutti Frutti.” Sure, it used to crack the crowds up when I sang it in the clubs, with those risqué lyrics: Tutti Frutti, good booty/If it don’t fit, don’t force it/You can grease it, make it easy…

But I never thought it would be a hit, even with the lyrics cleaned up.

Well, I was at home in Macon when I heard them play it on Randy’s Record Mart, Radio WLAC out of Nashville, Tennessee. The disk jockey Gene Nobles said, “This is the hottest record in the country. This guy Little Richard is taking the record market by storm.” I couldn’t believe it. My old song a hit!

Friends, imagine the kind of world we’d be living in today if Pat Boone had gotten his hands on the original version of “Tutti Frutti.”

The original dirty lyrics, or at least what can be recalled of them, after the jump…

Posted by Oliver Hall | Discussion
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Scream Queen Linnea Quigley’s ‘Horror Workout’
03.17.2015
07:21 am

Topics:
Amusing
Sex

Tags:


 
While she probably remains best known as “Trash,” the naked grave-dancer turned naked punkette zombie in Return of the Living Dead, Linnea Quigley has carved out a long, noteworthy, and still active career in cheap horror films and videos. IMDB lists 135 acting credits, plus over 40 “as herself” appearances. One of the latter was the preposterous 1990 Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout, an insane piece of work which simultaneously parodied z-grade slasher flicks and those “workout” videos of the period that were really just blatant cheesecake (remember “20 Minute Workout”?), at the same time as actually BEING a z-grade slasher flick and a workout-as-cheesecake video. I’ll let the IMDB plot summary do the talking for a moment:

After a nice shower, Linnea does some warm-up stretches and then goes for a run. She encounters some flabby zombies who follow her back to the house, where she leads them in some poolside aerobic routines. Later she unwinds by inviting some girlfriends over for a slumber party and some exercise. When something goes bump in the house, her friends begin experiencing an attrition problem.

 
More after the jump… if you dare!

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Sexist nightmares from real casting websites
03.13.2015
08:20 am

Topics:
Advertising
Movies
Sex
Television

Tags:
sexism
acting


 
Two things that almost any amount of media consumption should teach even the most obtuse viewer: (1) Most everyone on TV and in movies is crazy attractive, and (2) Men get the lion’s share of the good parts. Combine those with a soupçon of ageism and you have instantly created a toxic environment in which only sexy, young women are likely to be cast in any given role.

If TV shows and movies are going to end up that way, some or most of those tendencies have to be made explicit during the creation of the product, and casting is one of the primary places that happens. In our world you can’t just say out loud that a woman’s bra measurement matters more than her acting ability, .... but sometimes casting agents do it anyway!

A new Tumblr called Casting Call Woe has smartly decided to shine a spotlight on this odious side of the entertainment industry. Sometimes the sentences are amusing, like the way they try to put a positive spin on “We’re looking for a hot bimbo to play this professor,” but a couple of them are super creepy.
 

 

 

 
More of these groanworthy examples from real casting websites after the jump…

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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Sextape: Hours and hours of awesome music from ‘70s porn films
03.12.2015
11:45 am

Topics:
Music
Sex

Tags:
soundtracks


 
I’ve blogged before about the French music producer known only as Drixxxe who makes these pretty spectacular mixes of songs from ‘70s softcore porn-y films. Since the last time I wrote about Drixxxe, he’s added two more mixes to the “Sextape” theme. They’re both amazing.

A lot of these don’t have tracklists, but some of songs come from films like Sessomatto, Black Lolita, Aunt Peg, Madame Claude, Emanuelle and the Girls of Madame Claude, Vampyros Lesbos, Sex O’Clock USA, Skin Flicks, Odyssey, Le Sex Shop and Emanuelle and the Last Cannibals and many, many more.

Here they are for your listening pleasure. Enjoy!

Below, Sextape 1:

 
The rest after the jump…
 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Smutty snuff bottles of the Qing Dynasty
03.12.2015
08:53 am

Topics:
Art
Drugs
Sex

Tags:
pornography
Qing
snuff


 
During the Qing Dynasty (the final imperial Dynasty of China, 1644 to 1912), smoking tobacco was illegal, but the use of snuff was permitted for medicinal purposes. As the habit became pervasive throughout the country and across every class, beautiful little snuff bottles were produced, made from materials like jade, bone, ceramic, glass and ivory. Many of the bottles depicted pastoral scenes or images of nature. Others—like the ones pictured here—were hardcore and would make pervy potter Grayson Perry blush!

If you’re in the market for a tiny antique porn collection from China—or you just want to do bumps from a smutty little snuff bottle—you can find them for around $50 on eBay or Etsy (much cheaper if they’re missing the stopper-spoon). If you’re really looking to drop some serious dough, Sotheby’s and other high-end auctions sell Qing snuff bottles that will run you thousands of dollars. It can be difficult to tell a reproduction from a legitimate Qing, but a little research will help you find the real thing (and for a reasonable price). For instance, many knockoffs are made of light-weight resin, and real Qings are often dated on the base.

There’s something so charming about these itsy-bitsy explicit tableaux—how could you resist?
 

 

 

 
More smutty snuff bottles of imperial China after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Your sext messages, brought to life by acclaimed indie filmmaker
03.12.2015
06:50 am

Topics:
Amusing
Movies
Sex

Tags:
sendmeyoursexts.com


 
Eileen Yaghoobian, the director of the acclaimed rock poster documentary Died Young Stayed Pretty, has embarked on a project to adapt couples’ sext messages, for a fee, into scripts for short films. She’s established the website sendmeyoursexts.com to reach out to potential “screenwriters” and show off the results.

I’m Eileen, a filmmaker and artist who’s convinced that your dirty messages should be my next script. So I decided to create a service that turns your real sexts into on screen action. Think your phone could inspire a good web series? Ever wanted to be a screenwriter? You already are… but only if you’re brave enough to send me your sexts. It can be anonymous, but it still takes some moxie.

How it works

1. Screen shot some of your sexts. Scroll way back and send me the steamiest, silliest or most shocking ones you can.
2. Upload them here and check out using the form. Just $80 will get you up to 6 minutes of video shot professionally with cast.
3. Watch them come to life. You’ll get an e-mail with a link to the video when it’s ready.

Only $80? That seems a low fee—I can’t imagine that’s even enough to pay the actors.
 

 

 
The videos are audacious and often hilarious. They don’t contain any graphic sex, or even any nudity—how creative would that be anyway?—but some of them are really right on the edge, so I hope I shouldn’t even have to tell you they’re still far from work-safe due to suggestive situations and frank language (and some dry-humping). As Yaghoobian herself said in a recent Vice interview:

Everything is porn now. I don’t think there are enough websites out there that are sexy but not necessarily porn. But then again, I don’t have a problem with someone getting turned on when watching this. And even better, cause [the actors] aren’t naked! There isn’t a close-up macro-dick, or balls or ass or whatever. For me, what turns me on is great sex. For example, in Don’t Look Now, which is one of my favourite films, the sex scene is incredible! Better than any porn movie you’ll ever see. It’s so inspiring. I got the actors to look at that scene over and over again for Dylan and Kacey because it’s the best sex scene ever. And I want to get there.

 

 
More sexts brought to life after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Being human: Sexuality, gender and belonging to family in Nan Goldin’s photography (NSFW)
03.06.2015
11:07 am

Topics:
Art
Drugs
Queer
Sex
Unorthodox

Tags:
Nan Goldin

001nanimg333.jpg
 
Nan Goldin became obsessed with taking photographs of her friends and classmates at school—she says she became the class photographer. One of her first subjects was her best friend David Armstrong who was into drag. After they graduated from school, Goldin and Armstrong shared an apartment and he introduced her to the world of drag queens. Goldin spent time photographing David and his friends.

After years of experiencing and photographing the struggle of the two genders with their codes and definitions, and their difficulties in relating to each other, it was liberating to meet people who had crossed these gender boundaries.

Most people get scared when they can’t categorize others—by race, by age, and most of all by gender. It takes nerve to walk down the street when you fall between the cracks. Some of my friends shift genders daily from boy to girl and back again.

 
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Misty and Jimmy.
 
Goldin was born in 1953 the youngest of four children to a middle class Jewish family in Washington D.C. Not long after she was born, the family moved to the suburbs of Lexington, Boston. She was a rebellious child and ran away from home, and was eventually fostered by several families during her teens. Goldin has said she was “full of raw energy, creativity and sensuality” and found the fifties and early sixties an oppressive, difficult time. Then she discovered photography. First she took Polaroids, then shot Super 8, before taking regular photographs that she had developed at the local drugstore. Her friends would stack the pictures in piles to see who had the most portraits. Though these pictures were her a kind of diary—documenting her life, her relationships, her sexuality and her friends who became family (“We were the world to each other”)—the photographs were created out of her relationships and not observation.
 
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Actress, writer and friend Cookie Mueller.
 

The work has always been misunderstood as being about a certain milieu of drugs and parties and the underground. And although I’d say that my family is still marginal and we don’t want to be part of normal society, I don’t think the work has been about that, I think the work has been about the condition of being human—the pain, the ability to survive and how difficult that is.

In this beautiful short film, Nan Goldin discusses her life and career, friends, drug addiction and the “other world” she has documented.
 

 
A selection of Nan Goldin’s beautiful photographs, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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When sex was a crime: List of penalties for sodomy, fornication, adultery & cohabitation in the USA
03.03.2015
07:17 am

Topics:
Crime
History
Sex

Tags:
penalties for sex offenses

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According to this list of “Penalties for Sex Offenses in the United States” published in 1964 by Harry Hay’s pioneering “homophile” rights group, the Mattachine Society, most of us could have been at best fined or at worst arrested and sent away to prison for a very long time had we simply been doing what we take for granted today.

Take Connecticut for example, where sodomy (or “the crime against nature” as it is described here) brought a sentence of 30 years; or in Kentucky, where you could be given a two-five year sentence; or Maine one-ten years; and 20 years in either Massachusetts or Minnesota. The term “sodomy” included:

...a wide variety of “unnatural” sexual activity, with animals or with another person of either sex, both within and outside marriage.

That’s a fairly broad definition, don’t you think?

Fornication in most states brought a fine of between $20-$500 plus three months to six years jail time, or worse in Alaska where you could be fined $300 or given two years in prison. This might explain why so many Americans marry rather than live together—as opposed to Europe. According to US figures 8.1 million unmarried Americans were cohabiting in 2011, compared to 5.9 million (or 11.7%) of the UK population who cohabited in 2102.

If two years jail time didn’t make you twice about sex before marriage, then being caught committing adultery could cost you a minimum of $10 (Rhode Island) up to $500-$1000 and/or six months to one year (Nevada) or five years (Connecticut) or five years/$1000 fine (Maine).

Add to this, your time in jail and/or fine could be doubled for a second conviction—though penalties for women were less being: “$10 to $30 or 1-3 yrs.”

Thankfully, times have changed, but incredibly sodomy laws were not lifted nationally until this millennium, in 2003.
 
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listofsexpenalties.jpg
 
H/T Flashbak

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Off the wrist: Jerk off and recharge your smartphone at the same time with the Wankband
03.02.2015
12:32 pm

Topics:
Science/Tech
Sex

Tags:
wearable

Wankband
 
Wearables just got a whole lot more practical… and personal.

Pornhub, a website that probably needs no introduction, wants horny folk to “save the planet” with their new wearable, the Wankband (I can’t link to it or else Google will stop our ads, but use Google yourself if you’d like to find out more at their website). It’s a wristband device that recharges smartphones, laptops, digital cameras, tablets, and other tech devices with the motion of masturbation. You know, the hand-shandy. The five-knuckle shuffle. Mother Fist and her five daughters…

Dirty energy
 

Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment. At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.

Tossers, want to be a beta, er, be(a)ta tester for this thing? I wonder if chronic masturbators can sell their er… excess energy to the utility companies? This could fundamentally transform the entire world!
 
Tossing
 
“Ladies and gentleman, the power is in your hand,” learn more about this sexy time gadget in their animated video:
 

 
via Gizmodo

Posted by Rusty Blazenhoff | Discussion
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The Happy Hooker goes to Liverpool: Xaviera Hollander’s warped cover of the Beatles’ ‘Michelle’
02.27.2015
07:13 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music
Sex

Tags:
Beatles
Xaviera Hollander


 
In the years following the success of her memoir The Happy Hooker and the launch of its film franchise, Xaviera Hollander dabbled fairly widely in merchandising the “Happy Hooker” name. She can hardly be blamed, it’s such a catchy phrase that it’s been cheekily co-opted by everyone from crochet hobbyists to fishermen. Hollander has been involved in drama production, written a long-running advice column (and penned plenty of sex-advice books), and she even had a Happy Hooker board game.
 

Lest you think I was kidding about that, here you go.

Hollander produced a kitsch artifact holy grail with her 1973 LP Xaviera! It’s mostly a spoken-word album, with tracks featuring Hollander detailing her philosophies regarding sex generally and prostitution specifically. There are a few tracks that are basically dramatizations of trysts, but the real money-shot here (sorry) is Hollander’s bonkers cover of the Beatles’ classic “Michelle.” It’s been a mix-CD staple of mine since I found it years ago on April Winchell’s old MP3 page (it’s not on her current page, but don’t let that stop you from heading there anyway to revel in all the marvelously bizarre delights contained therein), and it could not be more out of place, either on that LP, or on planet freakin’ Earth.

I don’t want to mislead, this isn’t anything like full on Mrs. Miller-level self-deuded badness. But it’s still pretty out there, and bad in a way and to a degree that make it truly compelling. At no time is the song ever actually “sung”—it’s moaned in a breathy, overwrought “Happy Birthday Mr. President” way that often out-camps most intentional campifications of sexuality. And when the most famous prostitute on Earth moans “I want you, I want you, I WANT YOU,” should it not maybe feel more believable? Fittingly, the track ended up on the Golden Throats 4: Celebrities Butcher the Beatles compilation, and as far as I know, it would be another ten years before Hollander endeavored to sing on an LP again, for the Dutch-only release Happily Hooked. (See what I mean about that branding? That shit is durable.) And even on that album—or at least the part of it that my DM colleague Amber Frost found—she still basically just talks over music. Not that exceptional singing is the reason you listen to it anyway, it’s all in good fun.

One last trivia nugget for the trainspotters: the Xaviera! LP contains a “special guest” credit to the rockabilly pioneer Ronnie Hawkins, who, apart from his own musical contributions, assembled the musicians who would come to be known as The Band. Whether his guest appearance is as the guitar player on “Michelle,” or as a male voice in one of the performances, or both, I couldn’t say.
 

Xaviera Hollander, “Michelle”
 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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