What toys would the 3 Wise Men bring the infant Jesus today? Certainly not the body lotion, jewelry or cologne they gave upon that first Christmas night.

According to this short film report, from 1975, toy manufacturers would have a pretty good idea what to give, as they already know the kinds of gifts they will be foisting onto kiddies as Xmas presents years in advance.

But before we get too cynical, a newly published survey of British children has revealed that not all children are so predictable in their wishes. Top of UK children’s Christmas list was a baby brother or sister, next a reindeer, followed by a horse, and a car (ambitious little things aren’t they?). While a ‘Dad’ was number 10, and a ‘Mum’ was 23rd. It would seem for some children that good relationships with humans or animals are far more important than owning a ‘Gangnam’ Furby or a Doc McStuffin’s Time for Your Check-Up Doll, which let’s be honest can only be good for us all.
 

 
With thanks to NellyM
 

 
No, seriously, Can recorded “Silent Night”! Not even they were immune to the siren call of a calculated yuletide ploy, but “Silent Night”?

Just now I played this for my wife and asked “Who do you think this is?” and without missing a beat, she said “Can.”
 

 
via the mighty Ubuweb:

On Christmas Day 1976, Sun Ra read a selection of his poems accompanied by music on the program Blue Genesis over the University of Pennsylvania’s radio station WXPN. The choice of poems and their sequencing offers what Sun Ra thought was most important in his writing. Here are key words like “cosmos,” “truth,” “bad,” “myth,” and “the impossible,”; attention to phonetic equivalence; the universality of the music and its metaphysical status; allusions to black fraternal orders and secret societies; biblical passages and their interpretation; and even a few autobiographical glimpses. The poems were read softly, with little expressions, the music punctuating the words, with the heavy echo and delay in the studio sometimes reducing the words to pure sound without meaning.—from Space is the Place: The Life and Times of Sun Ra by John Szwed.

Gacy’s last supper.
 
John Wayne Gacy gives some Christmas cooking tips while being interviewed at Anamosa State Penitentiary in Iowa. Gacy was serving a 10 year sentence for sodomy and used his considerable skills in the art of the cavity search by stuffing dozens of turkeys in the prison cafeteria’s kitchen. His tender and saavy approach to hearts, gizzards and livers, quickly propelled him to the position of head cook.

After serving only 18 months of his sentence, Gacy was released from Anamosa and moved to Chicago where got a job as a short-order cook and worked his way up to managing three Kentucky Fried Chickens before getting into the clown business. A career trajectory not unlike Guy Fieri’s.

Shortly after this interview was conducted, Gacy’s father died from cirrhosis of the liver on Christmas Day 1969. Could this have been the karmic blow that sent Gacy spiraling down the food chain into the murky depths where evil dwells?

Gacy’s last meal was 12 deep-fried shrimp, a bucket of Original Recipe chicken from KFC, french fries and a pound of strawberries followed by a shot of sodium thiopental.

Next week: Lee Harvey Oswald’s recipe for stuffed cabbage.
 

 
From the Dangerous Minds’ archives:

Doc Marten meets Dean Martin in Billy Idol’s plodding version of ‘White Christmas,” which has all the appeal of a Christmas stocking full of steaming reindeer shit.

The musicians backing him sound like a German wedding band after an afternoon of knocking back steins of hefeweizen at the local beer garden. It don’t mean a thing if ain’t got that swing and these cats couldn’t swing if they were hanging from a lamppost in a hurricane.
 

 
A Christmas standard sung by Mr. Pop.
 

 
Our Richard has requested that I re-post this depressive/ weirdo Christmas tune that I made a few years back (in fact, one of my first ever posts to DM). It’s been re-released as part of a massive compilation put out this year by Hometapes and proceeds go to an organization called Smallwater which benefits those still in need in the aftermath of Superstorm Sandy. Happy Crimble !
 

 
The other day my pal and esteemed music journalist /d.j. Dave Segal posted this tune on his FB wall and thusly blew my mind. I asked him to tell us all a little bit more about it :

While doing research for a project on early-’80s French duo Mathématiques Modernes, I happened upon MathMod member Claude Arto’s solo single Kwai Systeme/ Betty Boop on the renowned Celluloid label. Why the B-side isn’t discussed in the same reverent tones as The Normal’s Warm Leatherette and Fad Gadget’s Ricky’s Hand is a mystery.
Anyway, check out this 1980 cut from a French synth wizard who later went on to record the classic 1981 new-wave LP, Les Visiteurs Du Soir, which Medical Records is reissuing in the first quarter of 2013. Betty Boop is a frenzied, spastic bit of white-knuckled synth pop that possesses some of the supremely warped textures that became commonplace in ’90s IDM.

 
In 1975, Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s Greg Lake and ELP/King Crimson lyricist, Pete Sinfield wrote a darkly pretty number about the over-commercialization of Christmas. At least that’s what Greg Lake said the song was about. Sinfield, who actually wrote the lyrics, begged to differ and has stated the song is about the loss of childish beliefs.

It could go either way: “I Believe in Father Christmas” is most certainly unique, a Christmas song that could be taken to heart equally by a Christian or an atheist. Most often, the song was interpreted as being anti-religious: “And they sold me a fairy story until I believed in the Israelite.” The vocal performance straddles the line, at turns wistful and sincere or just blunt, foiling easy interpretation.

Greg Lake has always maintained surprise that it’s turned out to be considered somewhat of a Christmas season classic due to the dark tone of the song (It wishes listeners a “hopeful Christmas” and a “brave” new year). The original video, with its “heavy, man” scenes of American bombers in Vietnam (not included in this edit), was shot in the Sinai Desert and was apparently controversial in some quarters when it was shown on television. ELP re-recorded the song in 1977 on their Works, Volume 2 album and have returned to it again over the years.

“I Believe in Father Christmas” did not make it to #1 on the British chart, a spot Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” kept it from, but the song has been covered by numerous performers, including U2 and Sarah Brightman. It was even (slightly) parodied by “Weird Al” Yankovic in “The Night Santa Went Crazy.” The orchestral motif is from Prokofiev’s “Lieutenant Kije Suite.”
 

 
An inspired bit of Christmas fun from Terry Gilliam. This originally aired in 1968 on the British TV show for kids, Do Not Adjust Your Set.

Gilliam was asked to prepare something for a special show to be broadcast on Christmas day, 1968, called Do Not Adjust Your Stocking. Looking for inspiration, he decided to visit the Tate Gallery. In The Pythons: Autobiography by the Pythons, Gilliam remembered the project and how it figured into his emerging artistic style:

“I went down to the Tate and they’ve got a huge collection of Victorian Christmas cards so I went through the collection and photocopied things and started moving them around. So the style just developed out of that rather than any planning being involved. I never analysed the stuff, I just did it the quickest, easiest way. And I could use images I really loved.”

Ho, ho, ho.

 
Via Open Culture