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The deeper reason the Internet destroyed Paula Deen: She’s an icon of ignorance, gluttony and greed
06.27.2013
05:32 pm
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As becomes increasingly obvious with every passing day since the news of her past use of the “N word” was heard ‘round the world, the career of TV chef Paula Deen has been deep-fried. Burnt to a crisp, beyond all hope of redemption. Just today the former longtime Food Network star was dropped by Target, Home Depot and Novo Nordisk, the pharmaceutical company who had idiotically hired the sugar and butter-loving Deen to be the spokesperson for a new drug for diabetics last year.

Let me be clear: I personally don’t give a flying fuck about Paula Deen. I view her as a vaguely preposterous person, I would never be interested in her recipes or any of the products that she endorses (or rather endorsed, past tense). I have never paid the slightest bit of attention to her, other than when it was revealed that Deen, the high priestess of America’s shitty high-sugar, high-salt, high-fat dietary habits had diabetes herself and yet had hypocritically signed on to promote the very diet that caused her own ill health for profit! (Novo Nordisk didn’t exactly get the right profile from Deen’s involvement in their “Diabetes in a New Light” campaign, did they?)

No, Paula Deen’s past use of the racial epithet—reported as cavalier by the media, but not characterized that way by Deen herself in her deposition—didn’t surprise me, even with my limited knowledge, but then again who was shocked by it?

Were you personally shocked that a 66-year-old rich white woman raised in Georgia could have used that word? Puh-leeze. It’s distasteful sure, but were you shocked? Of course not, no one was. And because no one was really surprised by this flap in any way shape, or form, it’s difficult to imagine anyone truly outraged by it either. Did you see the line of people waiting to get into one of Deen’s restaurants on CNN over the weekend? A fair number of them were African-Americans. Many were willing to stick up for Paula Deen on camera. That may seen counter-intuitive at first glance, but it’s not: They simply did not care.

Bearing that in mind, I think it’s fair to say that most people don’t give a shit about Paula Deen using the “N-word” or even her ridiculously oblivious plans for an antebellum plantation-themed wedding for her younger brother Bubba. So if no one is really getting all that worked up over it, then how to explain the media furor and her instantly lifeless career if Deen’s use of a racial epithet is not really the issue?

Personally, I think it’s because Paula Deen represents willful ignorance and gluttony, specifically the particularly vile intersection of someone who has deliberately made a career of consciously promoting morbid obesity—if Deen isn’t the avatar for every blubbery hoarder riding around Wal-Mart on a scooter, I don’t know who would be—and then double-dipping by taking money to endorse a diabetes medication. With those big pharma dollars rollin’ in, you butter believe it, ole Paula Deen’s got ‘em comin’ and goin’!

She’s a walkin’, talkin’, sobbin’ on the Today show metaphor for rapacious late-stage capitalism. Karl Marx in his most cynical moment couldn’t have imagined a creature as obscene or as avaricious as Paula Deen. I think this is the primary factor in why the Internet wants to tear this human centipede limb from limb.

Marx, no, but Paula Deen does most certainly seem like a character who could have been dreamed up by William S. Burroughs. Talk about a “naked lunch” I would never want to eat: Paula Deen’s very own fans are the pork on her fork. Ultimately Deen’s no better than Nestlé‘s Peter Brabek, the asshole who wants to privatize water in Third World countries.

With her personal brand in tatters, the real Paula Deen has been revealed, and if not the woman herself, at least the corporate Ouroboros that she now so starkly represents. Not in an abstract sense, either, but literally—Deen’s personal gravy train has sopped up millions upon millions of dollars for her and for her investors by clogging the arteries of her most ardent followers, encouraging over-indulgence and driving up the costs of private healthcare, all done while partaking herself in the very same things that will eventually kill her, too.

In Dante’s Purgatorio, the gluttonous penitents were tied-up and made to lie face down for their pursuit of earthly goals. If the Italian poet were alive today, perhaps he’d come up with a more nightmarishly appropriate 21st century vision: Today’s Wall Street tycoons and media barons—the ones who enabled the Paula Deen empire of shit in the first place with millions and millions of investment dollars—being force fed Ooey Gooey Butter Layer Cake at The Lady and Her Sons until each, deservingly, became a Mr. Creosote, purging their karmic guts out in buckets and then repeatedly stuffing their pie holes to the point of puking over and over again for all of eternity.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.27.2013
05:32 pm
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The 1970s, when cocaine accessories were made from the tusks of endangered species
06.27.2013
03:46 pm
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Opulence at its most disgustingly finest seen here in a 1970s mail-order ad for hand-carved ivory coke accessories. Apparently this ad was featured in High Times and Playboy.

Each of our exotic spoons, straws, and vials is delicately carved by skilled artisans from the finest center cuts of imported African ivory…the ideal coke surface. Ideal, because moisture does not condense on it, no particles will stick to its surface. The unique quality, coupled with the exquisite beauty of each hand carved design, makes each piece worth its weight in snow.

Kill an elephant, do some blow. Yuck.

Click here to read larger image.

Via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.27.2013
03:46 pm
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Dumb-as-shit Rick Perry’s idiotic comments about Senator Wendy Davis
06.27.2013
03:44 pm
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Dumb-as-fuck Rick Perry criticizes Texas Senator Wendy Davis for her brave filibuster by praising her intelligence while suggesting she ain’t smart enough to make decisions regarding her own reproductive system.

Even the woman who filibustered the Senate the other day was born into difficult circumstances. She was the daughter of a single woman, she was a teenage mother herself. She managed to eventually graduate from Harvard Law School and serve in the Texas senate. It is just unfortunate that she hasn’t learned from her own example that every life must be given a chance to realize its full potential and that every life matters.

The asshole doesn’t even have the respect to mention Davis by name.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell
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06.27.2013
03:44 pm
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Amazing Marc Bolan memorabilia on ‘Antiques Roadshow’
06.27.2013
02:30 pm
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An unnamed, but very dedicated Marc Bolan fan (and T. Rex tribute band leader) brings along choice selections from his insane collection of Marc memorabilia on a 2007 episode of Antiques Roadshow.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.27.2013
02:30 pm
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Just how blindly will Justin Bieber fans follow their idol? Apparently very, VERY blindly
06.27.2013
02:19 pm
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Up there with the Coachella segment of “Lie Witness News,” this new one from Jimmy Kimmel exposing just how blindly Beliebers are willing to follow their pop hero is, um, something else...

Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.27.2013
02:19 pm
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When Jimi Hendrix met Dusty Springfield, 1968
06.27.2013
01:41 pm
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What might have been one of those great “lost” moments in pop music history, but in this case has been kind of “half” found, is Dusty Springfield’s performance with The Jimi Hendrix Experience from her 1968 ITV series It Must Be Dusty.

Jimi and Dusty’s duet of “Mockingbird,” the soul/novelty number made famous by Inez & Charlie Foxx in 1963, hasn’t surfaced in decent quality yet—and maybe it never will—so savor this admittedly murky peek at it, apparently taken from a Super-8 film pointed at a TV screen when it originally would have aired.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.27.2013
01:41 pm
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Brûler baby brûler!: Serge Gainsbourg setting money on fire on French TV
06.27.2013
01:22 pm
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It’s 1977 and Serge Gainsbourg is sick of being overtaxed by the government, taxed not for the poor but for nuclear energy. In protest, the singer sets 500 francs on fire during an interview on French TV. Shrugging off the fact that what he’s doing is illegal, the defiantly mellow Gainsbourg reminds viewers that “it’s my money.” Or at least what’s left of it after the ash has fallen away… which is his point.
 

 

Posted by Marc Campbell
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06.27.2013
01:22 pm
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Tweaked headbanger’s frenzied death metal lip-synch
06.27.2013
01:10 pm
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Either the person shooting this really did accidentally capture this, er, energetic fellow in action lip-synching to Brazilian death metal pioneers Sepultura in a topless frenzy and was able to brilliantly sync up the music after-the-fact to the video….

...or else it’s this dude’s sure-not-to-be-missed audition tape for The Walking Dead. I simply cannot tell.

Either way, this is some seriously zonked out video vérité, more Harmony Korine than Maysles Brothers, that’s for sure.
 

 
Via The World’s Best Ever

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.27.2013
01:10 pm
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The Space Between: Fascinating deconstruction of Italian Neorealism vs. Hollywood filmmaking
06.27.2013
11:56 am
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This understated short juxtaposes Italian director Vittorio De Sica’s Terminal Station and American producer David O. Selznick’s cut of the same movie. Selnick’s edit, re-titled Indiscretion of an American Wife—after lopping off a whopping 24 minutes of screen time—is viewed simultaneously alongside De Sica’s film, emphasizing the extremely different approach that makes the cinema of Italian neorealism so… not American.

The film’s production pitted the director of the grave Bicycle Thieves against the notoriously pushy producer of Gone with the Wind and other slick Hollywood products. Even though De Sica spoke no English, Selznick would dictate 40 and 50 pages letters to the director daily. The American version of the film was, in the words of its leading man Montgomery Clift (echoing what most critics thought at well), “a big fat failure.” Selznick was married to the female lead Jennifer Jones until his death in 1965.

The clever experiment below leaves the viewer with a slight cringe at the “bastardized” Hollywood version’s pacing, and a distinct pull towards a more patient and present style of film-making where time and space are as important as the story.  Now you can impress your friends by acting like you already had a handle on the Italian neorealist genre!
 

Posted by Amber Frost
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06.27.2013
11:56 am
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Man plays AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ on flaming bagpipes
06.27.2013
11:19 am
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This is some Techno Viking-level shit right here, my friends (okay, maybe not as o-mazing as that, but a close runner-up). Dude plays flaming bagpipes to AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” in Fremantle, Australia.

He wins the Internet for the entire day.

 
Via Laughing Squid

Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.27.2013
11:19 am
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