Oh yes they did!

Roma Downey, the heavily Botoxed actress who plays Mary in The Bible, that monster hit History Channel TV miniseries you might have heard about and her co-producer husband, Mark Burnett (creator of Survivor), have written a new book together.

It’s a novelization of—you guessed it—The Bible and it’s got the very best title EVER in the entire history of the publishing industry… well at least since the invention of the Gutenberg printing press in the 15th century.

Think I’m overstating the case? Try this on for size. THIS is marketing genius:

A Story of God and All of Us: A Novel Based on the Epic TV Miniseries “The Bible”

No shit!!! That really is the fucking title! But if you think that’s funny (I was in tears) wait until you read some of the Amazon reviews. Some of them are absolutely impossible to tell if they’re being arch or just plain stupid!

This anonymous one, though, is a masterpiece of ambiguity, right up to the very end:

When I watched the first episode of the epic TV miniseries The Bible, I remember thinking to myself, “This is spectacular, but what if I want to engage with these stories on a deeper level.” After watching and re-watching and re-re-watching the entire series, it still felt like something was missing…

Thank God for this book! Finally, all the stories from the Bible have been gathered into a single text! Now I can go right to the source to get the news straight from the horse’s (or donkey’s) mouth, as it were. If you want to relive the fall of humanity alongside Adam and Eve, the story is here. If you want to be captivated time and time again as Moses turns water into blood, look no further. If you are looking for THE comprehensive account of just what God has been up to these last 5,000+ years, you must buy this book.

And that’s not all! Recently, a small group of friends and I have been getting together to study the stories here. What a blessing it’s been! We’re even thinking about gathering a larger group once each week and having a few gifted leaders teach us important truths based on this wonderful book. Who would have thought that a single text could be so life-encompassing and applicable.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a perfect resource. I do have a few complaints/suggestions:

- Is there a leather-bound version available? I hope there will be soon.
- I’d like to have even more detail, if possible. Why not add more stories, along with genealogies, poetry and maybe even a few letters?
- What would really be cool is if there was some sort of reference system to allow readers to connect parts of the book to other parts, when appropriate.

Certainly not damning criticism by any means, just some thoughts I had…

I any case, I give this book two thumbs way, way up! If you’ve spent your entire life wondering if there is a God that you can put in a box, consume in small, easy-to-chew quantities and exploit in order to feel some arbitrary (albeit fleeting) sense of meaning and happiness, this is the book for you.

If, on the other hand, you’re looking for a true representation of the real God, the God who is worthy of your entire allegiance and all your praise, the God who will use both blessing and suffering to transform you into the person you were made to be and who will ultimately give you eternal joy and infinite satisfaction, I’ve heard you can find him in the actual Bible… but really, who’s got the time to read that old rag, or the courage to encounter such a God, for that matter?

“Reid” from Chapel Hill, NC gave the book four out of five stars and raves, “I’ll Never Be the Same”:

I’ve spent my entire life searching. Searching for something…something real. Meaningful. True. I’ve held out hope—-honest, earnest hope—-that one day, I’d find something that would elevate my heart and my mind. Now I have that. I have something to hold on to: The Story of God and All of Us: A Novel Based on the Epic TV Miniseries.

I mean, it should be said that The Bible miniseries nearly pushed me over the precipice of self-actualization; but, putting that in the form of a book, where I can allow my imagination to take the characters and the stories to the next level really helped me discover myself in a way that I never thought possible. That being said, I only gave it four stars because I feel the authors wrote it almost as though I should have some preconceived comprehension of these characters and stories. There were certainly a few gaps. I was confused about the backgrounds of some of the characters. Particularly the Jesus character. I would have liked to know more about his background, i.e., what he was doing with his life before he became a martyr. Basically, I just wish there were more detail. The book probably could have been a lot longer.

Either way, I really hope, no, I NEED the authors to keep going with this. I want a series, like Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings. I want to know what happens to ghost-Jesus. Does he keep walking the Earth like a slightly less powerful Bruce Banner? Will he travel the ages using his powers for good? Maybe they could do a re-imagining of some of history’s most notorious events and Jesus could use his healing powers and his way with people to prevent them. I mean, imagine if Jesus prevented The Plague or World War II. Maybe they could also do a crossover series where Jesus joins the cast of The Walking Dead...like a good zombie, or something.

Anyways, I strongly suggest reading this book. It will absolutely change your life!

There’s more. Lots more and more arriving daily, no doubt. Unto us this day, a meme is born.

Thank you kindly, Michael Backes!

 
Vincent Price started collecting Art at the age of 12.

‘It was just one of those things. I’d read so many books on Art that one day I walked into a little art store, downtown St. Louis—mainly a framing place—they were having an exhibition of Rembrandt etchings, and there was one that really took my fancy.

‘I said, “How much is it?” And the man said, “It’s thirty-seven dollars, and fifty-cents.”

‘Well, I had $5 in my pocket, so I said could I put that down on it? And he said, “Yes.” I think he knew my father was good for the other thirty-two dollars and fifty-cents.

‘I paid for it myself, and from it, I learned a tremendous amount about the importance of the ownership of Art. The importance of buying a recording, of owning a work of Art, so you could study it, and live with it, and make it really your own, rather than just a thing you pick-up at a cursory glance in a museum. And [Art collecting] lasted all my life.’

Alas, Mr. Price had to sell his Rembrandt when he was broke, but his love of Art and Art History never left him.

It was in London, while working as an Art Historian at the Courtauld Institute, that Mr. Price’s love of theater began. As the theater was cheap in London, he saw as many productions as he could, before taking the plunge. He quickly moved form bit part to lead, and was on Broadway by 23.

A fascinating, and thoroughly enjoyable interview, in which Vincent Price relishes discussing those things closest to his heart—Art and Acting. From the public access TV series Day at Night, April 1974.
 

Now she’s safe from the darkness
She’s safe from its clutch
Now nothing can harm her
At least not very much

When the great Kevin Ayers died on February 18th, I checked YouTube to see if there was a vintage live clip of him performing my favorite song of his, “The Lady Rachel” from 1969’s progrock milestone Joy of a Toy. There wasn’t, but a few weeks later, a kind soul posted this humdinger of a performance from Belgium in 1975.

Ayers, with a band including Zoot Money and Ollie Hassell, does an astonishing twelve-minute long “Lady Rachel” here. If you’re a Kevin Ayers fan, you’ll plotz. The quality is great, too.

The thing that I wondered about is the audience murmuring among themselves at the song’s start. Who the hell would have talked during Kevin Ayers in his prime? Idiots!

When Joy of a Toy was remastered with extra tracks in 2003, it included an outtake from the sessions titled “Religious Experience” [take 9] (aka “Singing a Song in the Morning”) with Syd Barrett on guitar.
 

 
Last night on The Late Show with David Letterman, actor James Franco was promoting the new Spring Breakers film directed by Harmony Korine and he mentioned that the controversial director was banned from the show, prompting Letterman to bluntly explain why:

“I went upstairs [to the green room] to greet Meryl Streep,” recounted Letterman. “I looked around and found your friend, Harmony, going through her purse.”

Well then! Franco insists that Korine is “a very sane guy now” and on his say-so, Letterman has rescinded the ban.
 

 
Via Vulture

“A lot of the kids who are walking around the street with long hair.. a lot of the kids that you see from time to time—and retch over—are going to be running your government for you.”
—Frank Zappa

For a while now, tantalizing bit and pieces of Inside Pop: The Rock Revolution, a 1967 CBS News special presented by the great Leonard Bernstein have popped up on YouTube but this is the best version I’ve seen.

This program marked the first time that pop music was presented as a legitimate art form, with sympathetic host Bernstein lending an intellectual gravitas to the proceedings that only he could bestow upon the “strange and compelling scene called pop music.” It’s fascinating to watch the famous composer/conductor look straight at the audience as he tries to make sense of what rock music was becoming, one would presume, for a “square” middle-aged audience. The second part of the show goes into the field and was mostly shot in 1966.

One of the ultimate time capsules of the moment when the world went from black and white to vivid color in the space of one year. This must have been riveting television in its time, because it still is.

With great bits from Frank Zappa, Graham Nash, Tim Buckley, Herman’s Hermits, Reger McQuinn and the legendary performance of Brian Wilson’s “Surf’s Up” that will cause your mind to explode into a million pieces if you are a Beach Boys fan. Inside Pop also includes 15-year-old Janis Ian performing “Society’s Child,” a then highly controversial song about interracial romance. It was Bernstein’s championing of the song that saw it become a hit. Before Inside Pop aired, radio programmers were still skittish about the number.
 

 
Thank you kindly, Dalton Anthony!

 
A 44-minute long video montage of every time Woody Allen stammered in all of the films he’s ever appeared in. But what about all of the TV appearances, comedy records and documentaries on Allen? He stammers in all of ‘em.

How long did it take the editor make this?! Talk about dedication to the art of Woody Allen’s stammering!

 
With thanks to Edward Ludvigsen!

 
Apropriatey walking onstage to Elmer Bernstein’s theme for The Man With the Golden Arm, Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreaks perform a shambolic, but great, set at London’s Lyceum Ballroom in 1984.

I remember debating on whether or not to see this very gig before ultimately deciding not to for reasons I can no longer recall. Of course it became regarded as a legendary show, my bad! You can get a pretty good sense of what Walter Lure thought of the proceedings at approximately 18:12.

Back then a concert like this at a place like London’s Lyceum Ballroom would have cost you only about 4 pounds…
 

 
You probably noticed your Facebook news feed awash with the Red Equal Sign today (it’s a symbol for marriage equality). Well, some evil genius decided to support not only marriage equality, but Black Flag, too!

h/t Kip Silverman

 
Neat concept, although I had a hell of time connecting. Perhaps there’s too many folks on the server tryin’ to show off their mad Eno-esque joystick skillz?

The interface on this site is linked to a physical synth cabinet connected to the world’s largest homemade modular synth, currently housed at the MIT Museum. Turn a knob here, and Patchwerk will turn a motorized knob on the cabinet. If someone at the Museum grabs a knob, you’ll see it turn too.

snip~

When you first connect, you’ll be in OBSERVE mode, which means that you can hear the synth and see what the controllers are doing, but won’t be able to activate the knobs or buttons yourself. To switch to CONTROL mode, enter your name in the box at right. There can be up to 10 people acting as controllers at one time. If there are already 10 signed on, you’ll be added to a queue.

 
Via WFMU on Facebook

 
How’s about a little experimental New Wave opera from outer space to get you through your Tuesday? Try this clip of a super friendly Klaus Nomi on a 1981 New York TV newscast.

You can tell that the reporter did her research and made such an unlikely subject for the times into nice little digestible local news story. Nomi’s completely adorable here—his pastry metaphor is downright endearing!