Of course I realize what the answer is to the question (“Because he’s a fucking idiot”) before I ask it, but why does Rick Perry think that a silly TV ad discussing the war on Chris’mus and teh gayz in the military is something that is going to endear him to Iowa caucus voters at a time when a record number of Americans are on food stamps?

And here I thought Republicans had appealing to dummies down to a science. If the Perry campaign is anything to go by, they’re slipping:

“I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military, but our kids can’t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.

As President, I’ll end Obama’s war on religion, and I’ll fight against liberal attacks on our religious heritage. Faith made America strong. It can make her strong again. I’m Rick Perry and I approve this message.”

As a supposedly “national” pol, perhaps Perry should be ashamed to admit that he approved this message. He really makes himself look absolutely fucking pathetic here. And really desperate, too.

According to every single polling I’ve read, even Iowa GOP voters who identify themselves as Tea party supporters do not have a strong interest in social issues with the economy in a state of shambles. Once again Perry ably demonstrates his political tin ear and why he’s just another Republican no-hoper in the party’s quest to oust Obama from the Oval Office.
 

 
Another classic fuck-up from Fox News. Via Animal New York:

Fox News attempted to cover the post-election-fraud protests in Moscow, but decided that the truth wasn’t exciting enough, so they spiced it up with some footage of the riots in Athens, thinking that no one would notice the fucking palm trees.

Yes, Russians feeling duped by Sunday’s documented, obnoxious election fraud are tense and angry, but without the specific fires-in-the-streets and scary revolution-y unrest imagery Fox News would have preferred… so they went ahead and repeatedly transplanted it from Greece.

Superb!

Here’s another winner: Fox News Fabricates Part of U.S. Constitution
 

Thank you Marina Galperina!

Above, Janice Daniels, the beleaguered idiot mayor of Troy, MI.

Tea party favorite, Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan, won her first elected office last month. She made national news recently when an unintelligent, unfunny comment she made about gay marriage in New York on Facebook over the summer came back to haunt her:

“I think I’m going to throw away my I Love New York carrying bag now that queers can get married there.”

Daniels’ low IQ “witticism” has gotten her into hot water in Troy. From Detroit News:

Although Daniels has apologized weakly several times, always with caveats, she has yet to suggest she actually understands how she offended real people who live, shop and work in Troy and who are her constituents.

She is getting a short, not too happy, education in the facts of political life — specifically that the kind of sweeping stereotypes that fringe groups applaud don’t play well with the wider electorate, who may include the CEOs of major corporations or the local chamber of commerce.

While Daniels says “I love all people,” her Facebook post emitted the kind of “those people” vibe that created a barrage of Facebook jokes about Troy hairdressers and waiters exacting revenge on the mayor.

“We don’t regard this as statesmanlike or leadership,” said Michele Hodges, president of the Troy Chamber of Commerce. “We’ve been deluged by emails and calls, but we want people to direct their anger, their justifiable anger, at city hall, not at local business.”

Maureen McGinnis, the mayor pro tem, said City Council members had received hundreds of emails, including those from people who said they wouldn’t shop in Troy stores or eat in Troy restaurants.

Hilariously, dum-dum Daniels claims that she is hearing from people who “want to move to Troy” because of her bigoted statements. When Detroit News columnist Laura Berman asked her if she meant that the folks who sent her emails were doing so in support of her small-minded bigotry, Daniels responded with “They agree with my view of moving the city forward.”

How could even a shit-for-brains teabagger like this fruit-loop think that this incident would or could in any way be considered a “win” for the city she represents? If you were a local merchant, how would you feel at having this foolish woman incur a boycott on the town?

There’s only one dignified option for Janice Daniels: RESIGN.

But if she doesn’t, then Daniels’ political platform of advocating for unlimited public comment at Troy City Council meetings when she ran for office, is sure to backfire on her, providing for some uncomfortable, angry confrontations with her LGBT constituents, their families and other correct-thinking residents of the city of Troy, MI. NOT TO MENTION LOCAL MERCHANTS, Mrs. Mayor! It’s already happening, as you can see in the video below.

But just watch, once she’s out of a job—and she’s not going to survive this, nor should she—Fox News will probably race to sign-up Janice Daniels as a commentator on gay and lesbian issues! I mean, wouldn’t she be a great spokesperson for all those Americans who have had their First Amendment rights stomped on by TEH GAY AGENDA?!?!?

Or perhaps there’s a spot for her on Victoria Jackson’s new brain-damaged version of The View? In any case, Daniels says she’s not going anywhere. I don’t think it’s going to play out that way, Mrs. Mayor:
 

“That Cain’s candidacy was taken seriously for longer than a nano-second in a time of genuine crisis for the country raises fundamental questions about the health of the political process and the Republican party,”

—Steve Schmidt, campaign manager for Arizona Sen. John McCain’s 2008 presidential bid.

There are other things one could add to that, but why bother?

 
I posted about longtime Republican strategist Frank Luntz and the rhetorical tips he gave to GOP governors the other day (say “economic freedom” instead of “capitalism,” for instance) but until I heard Ed Schultz mocking it on his MSNBC program, it didn’t really jump out at me how incredibly offensive and insulting Luntz’s OWS talking points truly were… for Republicans!

It’s long been obvious that the GOP leadership in Washington has had a condescending attitude towards the loonier/lower IQ members of the party’s Fox News-watching base, but when you get right down to it, reading between the lines of what Luntz said, the Republican elite must hold them in utter contempt. The entire context of the remarks Frank Luntz made indicates strongly that there is an a priori assumption on the part of the GOP that their supporters fall into the category of “low information voters.” That’s breathtaking in its cynicism!

“Hey dumbshits!” they seem to be saying.“Vote for us!”

When will these people learn? Or are these tactics, once so effective, becoming too threadbare to matter much anymore?
 

 
This is THE BEST: Hapless Wisconsin governor Scott Walker wants people who protest his administration to pay for their First Amendment rights! He even wants them to post a bond in advance. I thought Walker’s big hero was union-buster Ronald Reagan? Turns out it’s Il Duce!

This fuckin’ guy is—clearly—on an all out political suicide mission. How else could one possibly process the following news, as reported yesterday morning in the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal-Sentinel?

Move aside, Herman Cain, it’s Scott Walker who is the real “Andy Kaufman” of the Republican party:

Gov. Scott Walker’s administration could hold demonstrators at the Capitol liable for the cost of extra police or cleanup and repairs after protests, under a new policy unveiled Thursday.

The rules, which several legal experts said raised serious free speech concerns, seemed likely to add to the controversy that has simmered all year over demonstrations in the state’s seat of government.

The policy, which also requires permits for events at the statehouse and other state buildings, took effect Thursday and will be phased in by Dec. 16. Walker administration officials contend the policy simply clarifies existing rules.

State law already says public officials may issue permits for the use of state facilities, and applicants “shall be liable to the state . . . for any expense arising out of any such use and for such sum as the managing authority may charge for such use.”

But Edward Fallone, an associate professor at Marquette University Law School, said the possibility of charging demonstrators for police costs might be problematic because some groups might not be able to afford to pay.

“I’m a little skeptical about charging people to express their First Amendment opinion,” he said. “You can’t really put a price tag on the First Amendment.”

Well, this fascist doofus already has: $50 an hour per member of the Capitol Police, or whatever it costs for freelance security, plus clean-up details!

I mean… WHAT?!??! This is laugh-out-loud hilarious for this idiot-faced goober to think he could get away with this! Of course it’s only had the effect of incensing the unions... and REALLY turning off the people who were undecided about Walker!

My god is this man a loathsome buffoon… but more power to ‘im, I sez!

Give Walker enough rope and he’s going to take down the entire Republican party in the state with him! This stiff won’t even be able to back-peddle away from this in any way, shape or form. He’s so screwed it’s just… superb!

Bonus douchebaggery: Tonight Walker is going to light the Christmas tree in the WI capitol that was put up with prison labor instead of hiring union workers. Let’s hope that tonight Walker enjoys his first—and last—time lighting the tree,

 
And here is the proof: The Women for Cain website.

Barbara Dayan of Nimcompoop Nipomo, CA (supposedly) writes:

Dear Mrs. Cain Don’t pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can’t find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, “Honey, get a life, I believe my husband.” We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!”

Does this “Barbara Dayan” really exist? Or did Cain or that smoking guy weirdo write this?

This CAN’T be from a real woman!  Women see right through this guy. EVERYONE does!

That’s even a stock photo image of the four women!
 

 
Here’s another winner, supposedly from a “Robin Haraway” of Millington, TX.

“Sir, I firmly believe that you were sent to our nation through Divine Providence and I believe that you are the man to preserve our Republic for our children. Remember, you have overcome many adversities in your life. You have pulled yourself up by your bootstraps through sheer determination and honesty. You were delivered from cancer. My prayers are for strength and guidance for you and your beautiful family this weekend.

This one might be real, though. It’s from Adrienne (Caos) Sinclair, of, as she calls it: “CALIFORNIA, CA”

“Dear Mr Cain many years ago I find this not so unique for christians I knew a man Charles in died at 54 i knew him and and his wife and they were beautiful from the heart christians. at one point in my live i was going to lose my home and well he heard about it, so me at Maass and told me Adrinne I want you to go down to the bank Monday and there wil be a check for 40.000 dollars. I told him I dont know how in the world i would pay it back and he just said don.t worry you are young and you have your whole live to pass a blessing on to someone else, At any rate he died at 54 of a heart attack and when I went to the funeral I was not surprised to see at least 500 or more people at his funeral and I went up to his wife and she told me has helped so many people his whole life and I looked in those green eyes with flowing tears and I said I was one of those people! she looked at me and just hugged me and said you know he would always keep his giving between God and himself, I said yes not for others to see. That was a long time ago and it is funny and it is so normal men who have that kind of heart, My dad would give a waitress 100 dollar tips and I just thought since I was a child that was normal, giving unconditional that is true Christianity and I get Herman Cain and A president who will save the Republic, I wish there are more Herman Cains they don’t show up at big benefits they give and only God can see, that is real to me,,, yes and I have had a life where I can give even when it hurt to women men children, that was a good lesson to learn where only God can see.”

Posted: December 2, 2011 at 2:23 am

Talk about setting yourself up for a spectacular fall. Cain is one Republican hypocrite who does not disappoint! His preposterously rampant egomania is starting to look like clinical insanity. He’s got no one but himself to blame. What a profoundly idiotic man!

This one is almost heart-breaking. Almost!
 

Debbie Stevens-Paulsen, TULSA, OK

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cain, I want you to know that I fully support you! I’ve sent $9.99 several times, and will continue to do so every chance I get. I wish I could do more! I’m “reassessing” my Christmas List… instead of buying misc $10 gifts for people I barely know anyway, I’m sending all that money to you. YOU are who this country needs. Please don’t let the opposition win, they are vile liars and will face God for what they’ve done to you. How can We the People choose who WE want (you!) if you allow them to run you off? Gingrich has DONE all the things they’re accusing you of, and Romney is a RINO.. we call him Obama Lite. PLEASE don’t give up. Speak up loud and clear that you are not giving up, and please let Gloria speak out again. I’ll admit that when I heard that you sent $ to a woman w/out your wife knowing, it gave me pause.. I wouldn’t appreciate my hubby sending $ to another woman w/out my approval… but then I thought about and discussed it with everyone I know. We came to the conclusion that you’re a good man worth the benefit of the doubt. We figure that you’re probably a very busy man who comes in contact w/ tons of people daily, and that you probably both have friends the other isn’t friends with, and that you have helped other people, men and women, without discussing it, because that’s just what you do, you’re a softie (stop that now!) and got taken advantage of. That happens. I have NO doubts about you after thinking and praying about it. If Mrs. Cain is OK w/ what you did, I am. Please send her back to Greta again! That’s between you two anyway. Lots of couples have separate money and do what they want with it. That is ok! Don’t give up sir, please. Don’t make me beg! Don’t let the evil conspirators push you out of this race. I have signs, bumper stickers, your Book, I tweet constantly about you (@FoxieNews) and share everything I can about you and your plan to help America. I support you 100%. Please say you’ll press on and get back to actual campaigning! Don’t play their games anymore.. gloves OFF time! God bless you, your wife and family, and your staff always. Happy Holidays!!! .... and 9-9-9!!!!”

 
Here’s hoping that Herman Cain (and the rest of these GOP no-hopers) stay in the race until the bitter end, soaking up all of those hard-earned reactionary donations. Aside from the laughs, the candidacies of these clowns are an effective way to incinerate perfectly good Republican political donation$:

In this respect, Herman Cain is the literal definition of a useful idiot.

Via Little Green Footballs

UPDATE: Look, they removed the stock phone shot on the Women for Cain website (because they didn’t pay for the license?). Now it reads “Women… Cain”!

 
There is probably only but one man in America who seriously believes that Newton Leroy Gingrich could ever become the President of the United States and that one man also happens to be named Newton Leroy Gingrich. The idea that this repulsive, hypocritical turd will ever be in a position of elected power again, is, of course, as ridiculous and as preposterous on the face of it as, well, Gingrich himself. More people loathe him than can tolerate him. He polls about as well as Sarah Palin nationally.

It’s hard to even get worked up or irate when this doofus says things like he says in the below video, to a rightwing Christian audience, because A) he’s a joke, so who cares what this pudgy prick thinks? and B) WHO in their right minds would think electing Newt Gingrich president would be a way to “take back” America from the “minority elites, in the first place, even this audience? That doesn’t make… any sense (As Paul Krugman recently quipped Gingrich is a “stupid man’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.” He went on to add “but he is more plausible than the other guys they’ve been pushing up”! How true, how pithy! How very Idiocracy...)

It’s amazing to contemplate that this universally disliked, self-satisfied “conservative intellectual” is currently the front runner for the GOP nomination. Who’d have thunk this was possible? How low will they go? Bachmann. Perry. Cain. Gingrich? You’re joking, right? Will Sarah Palin jump into the race to “save” the party from these people? Will ole “frothy mix” Rick Santorum get his day in the Republican sun? What about the least influential man in the world, Tim Pawlenty? If Gingrich can rally a comeback, why can’t he? (Imagine being T-Paw and seeing a no-hoper like Gingrich in the cat bird seat. Even it it only lasts a couple of weeks, that’s gotta be pretty galling!)

Don’t get me wrong, it would be fantastic to see Newt get the GOP nod, strictly from the lulz perspective of seeing the Republicans utterly destroyed in a national election, but you’d have to sift through trillions upon trillions of alternate universes to find the one in which the disgusting toad that his pretty blonde “Stepford wife” Calista kissed would turn into the POTUS (it’s a parallel dimension where gravity has failed, “fun” has been outlawed and Snookie is the Secretary of Spray Tans). It’s never, ever going to happen. Scott Walker has a better chance of holding on to his job than Gingrich does of taking Obama’s. These are the cold and clammy facts.

The mainstream media taking Gingrich seriously again as a candidate, has got a shelf life of how many… days do you think? Anybody want to start a betting pool on how long his front-runner status lasts?

And one more question: What EXACTLY does well-fed fascist mean by the curious phrase “Classical America” when he’s saying it to an audience comprised of Christian evangelicals?

“But we have allowed ourselves to be bullied, harassed, intimidated, and dominated by a tiny elite using the courts, using the news media, using the entertainment community, using the bureaucracy to coerce the American people against their will. It is fundamentally anti-freedom, fundamentally anti-democratic and the core meaning of the 2012 is to stand up and say “no, the eighty percent of the country that actually believes in classical America is now about to take back power from the minority elite.”

Whatever, dude… I just… can’t be bothered getting worked up about you or even to take you seriously.
 

 
And have you seen this harsh video that Ron Paul’s campaign just dropped on Gingrich’s big fat head? Ouch!
 

 
UPDATE: I have to admit that I laughed with Newt on this one...

 
Much respect to The Roots’ Questlove for what has to be one of the best TV punkings of all time. When Michelle Bachman appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last night, his band The Roots played the Fishbone track “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” as she stepped on stage (as NO-ONE applauded). We couldn’t think of a better song! Questlove has since been “grounded” by Fallon (whatever that means), but we wouldn’t worry too much about it - aside from all his excellent music work, this guarantees the guy legendary status.

Michelle Bachman’s entrance onto Jimmy Fallon:
 

 
Here’s Fishbone playing the original, live in Japan in 1987:
 

 
Thanks to Rusty Lazer!

 
Fairleigh Dickinson University’s PublicMind Poll found that some news sources actually make us less likely to have a full picture of the world we live in. Did I write some? I meant Fox News. Yep, according to the poll (which was conducted entirely in New Jersey, and so to my mind could skew the IQ results a tad higher than the overall US) Fox News viewers are more ignorant of current and international events than people who pay no attention to the news!

If Fox News was an evil Russian conspiracy to consciously try to dumb down the conservative population of the US, then they’ve done a job that the fictional SMERSH would envy! Facts? Who needs facts when there are smelly Marxists who need to get a job, Ground Zero mosques that need to be protested, whatever word salad Sarah Palin feels like puking up via satellite that day and you know, shit like that?

Intelligence is so overrated! Look at Sean Hannity. Guy’s making millions and he’s only got half a brain! See what hard work aggressively inflicting ignorance on senior citizens and thick people can get you in this country, dirty hippies? Get with the Ronald Reagan free market, Occupy weirdos! And get off my lawn!

Among other topics, New Jerseyans were asked about the outcome of the uprisings in North Africa and the Middle East this past year. While 53% of New Jerseyans know that Egyptians were successful in overthrowing the government of Hosni Mubarak, 21% say that the uprisings were unsuccessful, and 26% admit they don’t know.  Also, 48% know that the Syrian uprising has thus far been unsuccessful, while 36% say they don’t know, and 16% say the Syrians have already toppled their government.
 
But the real finding is that the results depend on what media sources people turn to for  their news. For example, people who watch Fox News, the most popular of the 24-hour cable news networks, are 18-points less likely to know that Egyptians overthrew their government than those who watch no news at all (after controlling for other news sources, partisanship, education and other demographic factors).  Fox News watchers  are also 6-points less likely to know that Syrians have not yet overthrown their government than those who watch no news. 

I’ll repeat that: People who get their news “by osmosis,” walking past a newsstand, or via “the drum” know more about what’s going on in the world around them than people who watch Fox fucking News!

“Because of the controls for partisanship, we know these results are not just driven by Republicans or other groups being more likely to watch Fox News,” said Dan Cassino, a professor of political science at Fairleigh Dickinson and an analyst for the PublicMind Poll. “Rather, the results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people do worse on these questions than those who don’t watch any news at
all.”

Of course this is one study Fox New viewers will never, ever hear about…

Read more at Public Minds