Above, a fucking idiot.

Harold Camping, the 89-year-old coot preacher who achieved fame for repeatedly getting the date of “The Rapture” wrong says he finds his situation “embarrassing” and is getting out of the prophecy business. Probably a good idea at his age… and with his track record!

“We’re living in a day when one problem follows another, and when it comes trying to recognize the truth of prophecy we’re finding it very, very difficult,” Camping said in an audio file posted to his Family Radio website yesterday. Via the NY Daily News:

Camping has made several predictions about the end of the world over the years. He claimed the end was nigh in 1994, then again in May of this year. When that didn’t happen, he said it would be Oct. 21.

“Why didn’t Christ return on Oct. 21?” he asked. “It seems embarrassing for Family Radio, but God is in charge of everything.”

The minister noted that no matter what people may think is in the Bible, ultimately God has the final word and isn’t obligated to reveal his plans.

“There’s one thing that we must remember,” Camping said. “God is in charge of this whole business, and we are not. What God wants to tell us is his business, when he wants to tell us is his business.”

The failed prognosticator also said he was sorry for saying that anyone who didn’t believe in his incorrect predictions would not be saved.

“I should not have said that and I apologize,” Camping said.

The Oakland-based preacher added that just because he was wrong, people shouldn’t lose their faith.

“We should not for a moment feel that we’ve been abandoned by God,” he said.

Really? Why not? I’m sure that schmuck who spent his pension on those “repent the end is near” subway posters feels pretty alone right about now…

 
Conservative Republican activist Ralph Reed was the executive director of the Christian Coalition during the 1990s. He’s now running the Faith and Freedom Coalition which he says is “a 21st century version” of his former organization, and one that aims to build a bridge between the Tea party and evangelicals.

In the video clip below, listen to how this twat defines “freedom.”

The sad thing is that we as a nation have lost our way and we began to lose sight of the wisdom of the Constitution and the Declaration, we began to ask government to do more than it should do to meet every need; to take care of every hurting person; to set up a huge welfare state that meets every need we have; to have entitlement programs to take care of the poor, the underclass, senior citizens, and others.

Those are all good objectives. The problem is when we ask the government to do more then what it is specifically charged to do at the federal level in the Constitution, then we have the danger of our liberties being taken away. And that is exactly what has happened.

HUH? From what I can tell, Reed defines “freedom” as being allowed to live in penury when you’re old and not to have health insurance… or something. I don’t know Ralph, I’d imagine these are the sorts of freedoms most people can do without, you fucking fuckwit!

Can any Christian readers explain to the rest of us how Reed’s political positions are in any way consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ?  I always thought Ralph Reed looked like a… tattle-tale. Watching this video made me want to spit right in his smug, rat-like face.
 

Via Right Wing Watch

 
A spokesman for House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has announced that on Friday the VA Congressman will lay out Republican plans to help business owners and “how we make sure the people at the top stay there.” Odd choice of words considering the national mood, don’t you think? One can be forgiven for wondering if the Republican leadership has progressed from merely being politically “tone deaf” to a more willful and sinister “la la la la la, I can’t hear you, I’ve got my fingers in my ears” withdrawal from consensus reality.

Esquire contributor Charles Pierce is the author of Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free. He’s a man after my own heart. In a blog post at Esquire.com, Pierce gives Republican Congressional leader Eric Cantor of Virginia all the respect he deserves—each and every tiny little bit—and more:

To call Rep. Eric Cantor a stooge at this point is to insult all three Howard brothers, and the late Mr. Fine, as well.

Ever since the spittle-drenched results of the 2010 midterms swept him into being the Majority Leader of the House of Representatives, Cantor has demonstrated a remarkable ability to combine complete ignorance of practically every major issue with the unctuous personality of a third-string maitre d’ at a fourth-string steakhouse. A couple of weeks ago, confronting the various Scribes and Sadducees that make up the “Values” wing of his party, Cantor was calling the Occupy Wall Street protesters a “mob,” and warning the timorous and pharisaical suckers that the tumbrels would be arriving on their streets any day now. Lo and behold, the country seems now to disagree with him, and, on Fox News Sunday, Cantor announced his earthshaking discovery that the United States has a problem with income inequality, and that his Republican party is poised to do something about that. Of course, every single proposal to emerge from his caucus would work to use the tax code to cement that inequality from now until Eric Cantor VIII is flunking economics somewhere.

True, Cantor’s argument is that the Republican plan would allow all the poor people in America to rise to become the owners of their own hedge funds, and is utterly insincere, where it is not complete bullshit. But the fact that the words “income disparity” were spoken by a member of the congressional Republican leadership, in public and without his tongue turning to fire, is proof that the elite pundits are right. The OWS crowd never will affect the country’s politics until it develops a “coherent public message.” Pity.

Nicely, nicely!

The other day at the Farmer’s Market here in Los Angeles, an acquaintance of mine, a British ex-pat best described as a “salty old sea dog-type” but who is, in fact, a financially well-off Hollywood screenwriter with bad dental-work and a penchant for his apéritifs to be served before, during and after his meals, told me of his violent fantasy of kidnapping Eric Cantor, tying him face down naked and then shoving a loaded double-barreled shotgun up his ass (This tirade was prompted by the sight of Cantor on one of the news channels). This would all be streamed live on the Internet as Cantor would be forced to atone for his sins and confess to being a traitor to his countrymen for selling them out to the 1%.

“Don’t get me wrong,’ I told him. “I loathe Eric Cantor myself, he’s a fucking idiot and I absolutely hate him, but when you add in the element of sexual humiliation, it makes me kinda wonder about you and your dark, Deliverance fantasies…”

“Oh no, maybe I didn’t explain: This isn’t my fantasy or anything, this is from a new screenplay I’m working on. It’s like the Saw movies, you know, torture porn, except that the bad guy is going around seeking revenge on politicians who sold out the country and fucked everyone over. I thought the ultimate anti-hero for right now would be a guy who’s been ruined, he’s lost his business or or house or marriage, whatever, and now he’s a vigilante. I saw Cantor on TV calling the Occupy Wall Street protesters a “mob” and it struck me how cathartic it would be for the audience to see someone like him to be humiliated in a movie. People would love to see that happen onscreen! I’m not fantasizing about this, I’m writing it!”

The demented genius of this notion is both laugh-out-loud funny and “Why didn’t I think of that first?” depwessing isn’t it?

The reason why my screenwriter friend here is so successful, while I am not, struck me like Thor’s mallet…

“What happens to the character based on Eric Cantor?” I asked, by now morbidly curious.

“The bad guy pulls the trigger. The bullet goes in the Cantor character’s anus and comes out through his mouth. Millions of people see this live on the Internet. I’m hoping that bit gets done in 3-D!”

I made a mental note to quickly finish my for spec script for The Human Centipede III (with characters based on Congressman Paul Ryan, WI Gov. Scott Walker and Fox News personality Eric Bolling) as I stood up to bid him farewell.

“Well, it sure seems like you’ll have an easy time selling that idea. It’s certainly ‘of its time,’ your script. Good luck with it.”

“Are you kidding me?” he laughed. “I sold this puppy the next day!”

Via Republican Retard Club

Zany Tea party leader Judson Phillips is back (did he ever leave?) with a new fund-raising email alert designed to scare the people stupid enough to “donate” money to his for-profit enterprise, Tea Party Nation.

Did you know that #OWS are a bunch of Nazis and Communist pinkos? Well, according to Judson they are. He read it on the Internet, probably in an email typed in ALL CAPS.

Maybe Victoria Jackson forwarded it to him?

Many of us can remember, as we were growing up, our parents telling us we would be judged by the company we keep.  There is a lot of truth to that wisdom.

What can we learn from the company Occupy Wall Street keeps?

Actually we can learn a lot.

Not only the Communist Party but also the American Nazi Party has endorsed OWS as well.

The media has been falling all over itself to spin OWS as the newest liberal movement, just like the Tea Party.  They have done their best to hide videos that show what the Occupy movement really believes.

Both Communists and Nazi’s are socialists.  They hate freedom and liberty and both want to see freedom and liberty replaced with tyranny.

OWS claims to be a leaderless movement, yet no one involved with the movement is willing to denounce the Nazis or the Communists.   Contrast that to the Tea Party movement, which went overboard to make sure no one involved with the Tea Party movement was a racist or a Nazi.

OWS seems to have no problem with Nazis or the Communists.  OWS supports forms of totalitarianism that directly killed about 250 million people in the last century and enslaved billions in poverty and tyranny.

The OWS movement, contrary to the media myth that is being spun, is not just a spontaneous uprising, but rather a well-planned event.  It is not simply a group of dissatisfied Americans seeking redress of their grievances.  It is a well thought out plan by far left wing groups.

What planet is this motherfucker from? And can you imagine the kinds of cranky old bastards who’d send this dude money? Boggles the mind, doesn’t it?

 
Well, if this is true then, 100% of the men in the world who have ever lived since the dawn of human existence, are in fact, gay:

“Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.” - Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s Mars Hill Church, from Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men

I suppose one can draw certain conclusions about how “Mirror Man” Driscoll likes beat his own meat, can’t one?

What is his book about anyways? Is it a “how to” kind of thing?

David Schmader at The Stranger had a great quip about this:

Every day, in every way, Mark Driscoll seems more and more like one of those devoted heterosexual husbands who begins the love-making process by holding a copy of Mandate over his wife’s face.

Damn, I wish there was a video of this. What a missed opportunity! Think of the potential for “remixes”!

 
The results of the recall elections of the WI state reps might have been mixed, but that was then and this is now. Just a few months later, the political headwinds have shifted suddenly. I don’t think things look too promising for the continuing political career of Scott Walker. It’s time to make it hot for this bastard.

Via AlterNet:

Organizers in Wisconsin will have 60 days to collect 540,208 signatures as they announce plans to kick off an effort to recall Governor Scott Walker, the man whose extreme levels of union-busting intransigence led to hundres of thousands of protesters descending on the capital, in a standoff that riveted the nation and led to a resurgence of pro-labor activism. One group, United Wisconsin already has over 200,000 promised recall signatures through its organizing efforts.

On the Ed Show last night, Wisconsin Democratic Party Chairman Mike Tate explained why, after deliberation, the party along with groups of activists forged during the protests had decided to go forward with this action, feeling that they couldn’t wait any longer to try to recall Walker. Video of their conversation is embedded below.

If the drive is successful, elections could potentially be held in Spring 2012. Find out official information here. (It’s a testament to the popularity behind the recall that there are quite a few unofficial recall Walker sites flooding the web already!)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

 
At the ultra-conservative Values Voter Summit over the weekend, Glenn Beck, eager to demonstrate his old skool soothsayer prowess, claims he foretold of the “violent left” coming two years ago, but only succeeds in looking like a man on the wrong side of history…
 

 
UPDATE: Here’s Beck from his show today saying that the Occupy Wall Street protesters will “kill everybody”!
 

 
Via Right Wing Watch

Thanks for all the feedback, folks!

…if you’re an ignorant, close-minded, douchey asshole. Or fortunate enough to be born a straight male and don’t consider yourself a potential target (even though you are). Or maybe even if you are user-generated online retailer Zazzle.

The above picture is just one of a selection of “Rohypnol” themed t-shirts which are currently available to buy on Zazzle. And here is an excerpt from Zazzle’s “Our Values” page:

We hold ourselves to the highest standard. We don’t compromise on our ethics for any reason, period. We embrace diversity of background and thought, treat each other with respect, and demonstrate integrity in everything we do. And we don’t think it’s cheesy to say so.

So is it cheesy to be offended by items of clothing that openly make fun of rape? If you are interested in asking how rape-mocking t-shirts like this fit in with Zazzle’s ethics you can contact the site via the email form here, even though this is a ridiculously protracted way of doing it (remember to choose “Not A Product Specific Enquiry” in the Product Type box, and THEN when it has told you your enquiry has NOT been submitted to scroll down and just click CONTINUE - it will be). A better way to do it might be to just contact their (US) customer support directly on 1-888-8ZAZZLE (892-9953) or (408) 983-2800.

If it’s possible to make high street retailer Topman take stupid, sexist t-shirts off the market, then surely it can be done with these guys. And here’s a tip for any man who would consider wearing this top. What a guy’s gotta do to get laid legitimately is to start by not looking like a potential rapist. Ladies like that.

 
Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor puked up the following ruling class talking points about Occupy Wall Street onstage at the 2011 Voter Values Summit in Washington, DC, this morning:

“If you read the newspapers today, I for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying Wall Street and the other cities across the country.”

“Believe it or not, some in this town have actually condoned the pitting of Americans against Americans.”

He really ought to be concerned, if you ask me…

Some see the 99%, while others see only “mobs.”

It’s almost funny. Almost.

The clip isn’t online anywhere, yet, but even hearing his voice saying this shit in my mind as I read it is painful enough. I’m not sure I want to actually hear it. As TPM points out:

Seeding concern about the relatively undefined protest movement spreading across the county is a growing movement among the right. Tea Party types are turning the past criticisms of their movement on Occupy Wall Street. Meanwhile Republican presidential candidates are casting it as some kind of revolt by the poor.

For their part, Democrats are not sure what to do.

Republicans seem to have found their footing on Occupy Wall Street however, and Cantor exemplified it well today.

The “Clue Train” could smack these guys in a head-on collision and they wouldn’t feel a thing, would they?

Update: Here’s the video, it’s special:
 

 
Some serious backwoods Tennessee stupidity on display here. I hope these guys press charges to the fullest extent of the law.

“I went over to take the keys out of the ignition and all the sudden I hear someone say ‘sick’em,’” said Gibson County resident, Jerry Pittman Jr. Pittman said the attacked was prompted by the pastor of the church, Jerry Pittman, his father. “My uncle and two other deacons came over to the car per my dad’s request. My uncle smash me in the door as the other deacon knocked my boyfriend back so he couldn’t help me, punching him in his face and his chest. The other deacon came and hit me through my car window in my back,” said Pittman. He said bystanders did not offer assistance. He said the deacon yelled derogatory homosexual slurs, even after officers arrived. He said the officers never intervened to stop the deacons from yelling the slurs.

This covers a wide spectrum of “fucked up,” doesn’t it?
 

 
Via Joe.My.God