Despite the fact that his albums sit atop the Italian pop charts for half a year, every year and go platinum five times over, outside of Italy, few have heard of camp superstar Renato Zero. In some respects, Zero could be said to be the inventor of glam rock. He was, you know, just being himself long before Bolan or Bowie ever put on eyeliner or platform heels. He even had a punk name long before Sid Vicious or Johnny Rotten!

So flamboyant that he makes Freddie Mercury (or even Jobriath Boone) seem positively macho, Zero has steadfastly refused to either confirm or deny that he is gay (as if there would be much doubt?) throughout his now five decade long career. Often called “The Emperor of Rome,” he’s still a huge star today, performing spectacular concerts that would make Madonna jealous. Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at pioneering Italian mega-performer, Renato Zero!

1977 performance of “Mi Vendo.” This was my own introduction to Zero and it was a startling one, I think you’ll agree:

Renato Zero performing “Triangolo” in 1978 and rocking an outfit to die for!

Live, rather elaborate performance of Prendimi

Responses to the Pentecostal jibber-jabberings of preacher and plagiarist Kenneth Hagin typically range from snickers to eye-rolling, but cast aside (out?) your preconceptions for a moment.  Strip away the possible, okay, PROBABLE cynicism lurking behind Hagin’s curtain, and what are we left with?  A group of people in a room HUNGRY FOR A WAY OUT—transcendence, beyond the limitations of mind, flesh, or state.  Seen in this (admittedly stripped-down) light, how much do Hagin’s communal fumblings towards ecstasy really differ from those of, say, Beck and Malina’s 60s-era Living Theatre?

 
I couldn’t find much information on German group New Production Goes to Munich’s 1987 hit “Tippen Ein.”  But, for all you Tim and Eric fans out there, I think you’ll really love this twisted synthpop masterpiece. Genius.

Here’s a link to a live version of “Tippen Ein”

Well, there is simply no beating around the bush about this one. No mitigating factors. Nope, none. The new Harry Potter film, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” is absolutely fucking terrible. Not a disaster, just a total bore, which is worse. Please don’t shoot the messenger, I sincerely expected to like it, but man oh man does it suck. It’s mind-numbingly bad. The pacing is all wrong. It felt like we were in that theater for about seventeen hours.  My wife hated it even more than I did.

After a fantastically conceived opening sequence (one of the finest I’ve ever seen, brilliantly executed) my first thought for this review was “Harry Potter franchise kicks it up a notch! Or two!” I was fantasizing about my blurby superlatives showing up on movie posters, but… sadly t’was not to be. After the first ten minutes the film quickly dropped off in energy and intelligence. After 30 minutes, the suckiness picked up speed. Much of the script made no sense. Some—like all the villains—characters’ actions seem to have no motivation whatsoever. Aside from one or two action-oriented scenes (the Quidditch matches were remarkable), it was an absolute snoozefest.

Looks great, same great cast, all the right ingredients, I grant you that, but I will say it again: The new Harry Potter movie is godawful.

I know what you’re thinking. Your kids will still love it. Guess again. Your kids will hate it and get restless after 30 minutes. So will you. No one would love it unless the studio was paying them to love it. I don’t think the people who worked on it or acted in it love it. No one would like this movie. It’s shite. The word of mouth will be horrible.

If you read this far and you still plan to see “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”... as you are sitting there watching one of the worst big budget films in recent memory, a total piece of shit, remember this review and don’t say I didn’t warn you. Because I did.

And if you want to know how I really feel…

Here’s a fantastic website dedicated to the most awesome collection of stewardess uniforms ever.  Website owner, Cliff Muskiet says:

Ever since my early childhood, I have been interested and fascinated by the world of aviation. I used to collect everything that wore an airline name or logo, such as posters, postcards, stickers, timetables, safety cards and airplane models.

Sometime in 1980 I was given my first uniform by one of my mother’s friends. I was so excited and I wanted to have more uniforms. In 1982 I heard that two charter airlines were introducing new uniforms. I wasted no time, I called these airlines and as a result I was invited to pick up a set of old uniforms. Between 1982 and 1993 I didn’t do much to obtain any more uniforms, something I really regret now as I could have had many many more! Most of my uniforms were obtained between 1993 and today. At the moment my collection contains more than 800 different uniforms from various airlines worldwide.

www.uniformfreak.com

LOST Season 5 might have gone out with its usual bang, but that doesn’t mean the summer ahead can’t still be long and hot.  When you’re done combing through Lostpedia’s The Incident theory page (it’s endless, I know), you might want to dip a toe, or something, into the wacky alt waters of Lost slash (fan) fiction.  A 3-way between Ben, Locke and Richard…sure, why not?  Desmond choosing Sayid over Penny…yeah, I can see that!  What I find fascinating about these HIGHLY detailed reconfigurings, of course, is not the nature of the participants or their transgressions, but how they expose that nagging, near-universal hunger to see our hopes, dreams, fantasies—whatever they may be—projected through the prism of popular culture.  Then again, maybe there’s just a LOT of people out there who wanna see Jack and Sawyer feeding each other mangos!

Lost Slash Fiction

Lost Slash Fiction (XXX)

I may be the last person to find out about this, but since I’m American, it’s OK: Luke Haines, the greatest British songwriter of the 1990s, has released a book detailing his bitter memories of the Britpop years and being completely ignored by the public at large. Entitled “Bad Vibes: Britpop and My Part in Its Downfall,” the book was released in the UK in February. So far no release in the US, nor is there likely to be, ever, so suck it up and pay the postage.

Haines, who laid down the template that Blur and Pulp would later capitalize on with his band The Auteurs, went on to record such gems of human potential as concept albums about the Baader-Meinhof gang and Oliver Twist, recording under his own name and also with “supergroup” Black Box Recorder.

For those who have never been exposed to the man, try any of his albums, ever: they’re all essential. While Blur were writing about middle-class boredom, Haines was writing one-man nostalgia trips through the lost, forgotten and seamy sides of English history, like a snarling pop version of Peter Ackroyd. Try it, you’ll like it.

The Auteurs: Rubettes music video

I know when I think of underwater James Bond action, I think think of The Man in Black, how about you?

Fascinating, yes, but thank god they went with the Tom Jones version, eh?

Mr. Metzger and I always giggle about how I once shared a dojo with the original LAND OF THE LOST “Chaka,” Philip Paley.  We very seldom sparred together (he was older, ranked higher) but I think I could have totally Sleestaked his ass using a bit of the old “ST.”

“It’s almost like if Scorsese directed Hee Haw.” Richard Metzger interviews Julien Nitzberg, director of the amazing new documentary film, “The Wild Whites of West Virginia.” Shot over the course of eighteen months, the film follows the often comical, sometimes tragic antics of the hell-raising hillbilly White family of Boone County, WV. Surely the state’s most notorious clan since the days of the Hatfields and the McCoys, the Whites engage in a mind-blowing array of anti-social and criminal activities with barely concealed glee. Produced by “Jackass” maestros Johnny Knoxville and Jeff Tremaine through their Dickhouse production company and MTV Films, “The Wild Whites of West Virginia” takes no prisoners and it doesn’t tell you what to think about the Whites.  Local law enforcement hate them, but for the most part—barring a several day armed seige one younger White puts them through—but tend to want to stay out of their insane shenanigans. When one of the Whites gives birth and then snorts up ground painkillers in her hospital room while her infant sleeps nearby, the camera was there, okay? It’s intimate! Unlike anything you are likely to see unless you live in Boone County, WV. An incredible documentary. Highly recommended.