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Fart terrorist’s secrets revealed
05.22.2015
07:12 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
recipe
fart
dip


 
So many of the great scientists have suffered or sacrificed for their work. Jonas Salk gave the world a vaccine for polio without patenting it (and therefore majorly profiting). Marie Curie actually died from prolonged exposure to radiation as a result of her research. Giordano Bruno was imprisoned and executed by the Catholic Church for his belief that the stars were actually distant suns! All of these guys are total chumps though, because food writer Dennis Lee has actually broken ground on a “fart dip” using his own body as the test subject—now that is commitment. What would inspire someone to develop such a dangerous chemical weapon?

I imagined myself at a fancy party where I served a magical delicious dip. It would be addictive and wonderful, but what people would not know is that every ingredient was picked to maximize flatulence. Then, a few hours later, everyone would secretly start farting uncontrollably and pass out. Everyone would be so embarrassed that all these dumb fancy food parties would go away forever

Chaos, destruction—I like it! (He is also about to be unemployed, which I think might be a factor, if not a motivation.) Unfortunately the dip—made up of onions, lima beans, sour cream, cabbage and prunes (some of the most flatulence-inducing foods, according to Lee)—looks disgusting every step of the way, and results in a flavor he initially likens to vomit, and later “hummus that has been mixed with French onion dip and sweet dried fruit.” As for its efficacy, Lee felt sick after eating an entire bowl, and from what he could tell, the dip only produced a single (though massive) fart.

We’ll call it a prototype?

The recipe, after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
There’s a Roku channel just for cheesy old sex-ed and exploitation films


 
When streaming players boast about their huge numbers of channels, I’m generally even less impressed than I am by the “wealth” of offerings on the grossly overpriced wasteland that is cable TV. I have absolutely no use for thousands of impossibly granular channels like The Christian Comedy Channel, Firewood Hoarders, NRA Women, and Cruise Addicts. Those are all real. But in their favor, I don’t have to pay $75 a month to not watch them.

But sometimes, that nanoscopic specificity does pay weirdness dividends. The Shout Factory channel proffered by the music/video label of the same name holds some treasures, as do the handful of channels that compile old cartoons that have passed into the public domain. And not so long ago, I ran across a channel, called Stop It Or You’ll Go Blind!, devoted exclusively to old sex ed films, with some “educational” exploitation thrown in. (Why is “Sex Ed-sploitation” not a term? It’s a thing, it needs a word…)
 

 

 
Unsurprisingly, a lot of these are a riot. There’s “Miracles in Birth,” a graphic depiction of live births shot in grainy black and white so blown-out it looks less like a miracle and more like outtakes from Begotten. There’s “Dance Little Children,” a creepy VD scare flick directed by Carnival of Souls auteur Herk Harvey, which teaches us all a valuable lesson about not letting slimy rich dudes boink us on the first date. The 1938 Sex Madness, Dwain Esper’s follow-up to Reefer Madness is streaming, as is the bizarre Test Tube Babies, a tale of swinging and sterility. And the ‘60s classic “Perversion for Profit” is there, the notorious and INSANE 30 minute anti-indecency screed in which L.A. newsreader/talk show host (and, later, NewsMax columnist *shudder*) George Putnam blames pornographers for everything from juvenile crime to child molestation. The brilliant thing about “P4P” is that if anyone actually held on to even half of the smut rags displayed for *ahem* viewer edification, they could be an eBay millionaire today.
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Satan’s daughter is getting baptized tomorrow?
05.22.2015
05:04 am

Topics:
Advertising
Amusing
Media
Occult

Tags:
Satan's daughter

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“Satan’s mother” placed an advert in Sweden’s daily newspaper Svenska Dagbladet on Tuesday announcing the baptism of her daughter Lucy on Saturday 23rd May in Elmsta.

The advert read “Welcome to the world beloved LUCY,” and carried a picture of a cherubic (demonic?) child with dark piercing eyes and 666 kiss curls. The ad included an RSVP email address from “rehtom.snatas”—which as all good occultists know is “Satan’s mother” backwards.
 

 
Alas, for all those expecting the end of days, fire, brimstone and alike, the announcement is part of a “guerilla” advertising campaign promoting the Elmsta 3000 Horror Fest.

Some eagle-eyed journalists noted their paper had been duped and carried a story about the advert later that day. This was the second time something unusual had ended up in the paper’s pages recently. On Sunday an essay in the culture section of the paper contained capital letters at the start of each paragraph that spelt out the word “P E N I S.”.
 

 
This time the mistake (cock-up?) in the Svenska Dagbladet was picked up by its rival newspaper Göteborgs-Posten RSS.
 
Via the Local

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
My Bloody Valentine’s ‘Loveless’: still awesome backwards
05.21.2015
06:34 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
My Bloody Valentine
Loveless


 
Surely you know by now whether or not My Bloody Valentine’s pivotal Loveless album is in your zone. When it dropped in November of 1991—just as Nevermind was temporarily blurring the line between mainstream and underground—I was in the thick of my college years, and the gauzy, gooey, heavy, trippy Loveless was completely unparalleled as a soundtrack for having sex, getting high as fuck, and having high-as-fuck sex.

Famously, it took band leader Kevin Shields two years to assemble the album’s dense mass of sounds that often defy their guitar origins, and it’s sometimes difficult to tell whether any given sound or even any sung phrase is as performed or the result of post-production studio manipulation. So when an adventurous fan posted the album backward in its entirety, it was a given that it was going to sound a whole hell of a lot like the album forward. But listening to it backwards subverts the album’s two and a half-ish decades of utter familiarity, and I rather enjoyed hearing it that way.

And I had to wonder if this inspired the idea, but it was posted two weeks after the backwards album was, so it may well be the other way around, if not just coincidence:
 

 
(That Twitter feed, by the way, is fun to follow if shoegaze in-jokes are your bag.)

Backward Loveless was posted by NeutralMilkHotelArchive, who describes his/her YouTube channel as “An archive for all Neutral Milk Hotel. Formerly a channel for reversed music,” though it boasts only two NMH shows so far compared to two dozen pieces of reversed music, 7 of which are by Bach. If you’re going to get all high to listen to backward Loveless anyway, it couldn’t hurt to peruse that channel for further fodder, no?
 

 
More backwards MBV after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
‘I need more feet’: Boyfriend keeps diary what girlfriend says when she’s talking in her sleep
05.20.2015
09:09 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
talking in sleep


 
Oh boy, can I relate to this one. Apparently I talk a lot in my sleep, too (or so my husband tells me). I often find myself cringing in the morning when he tells me I was yapping in my sleep again as I almost always say (or shout out) something embarrassing or inexplicable like, “Don’t touch the pumpkin heads already!” or “I will put it in the birdhouse, but I think it must be yellow now.” WHAT?

Well, evil boyfriend and redditor, Soggybrick, decided to keep a little diary of what his girlfriend says when she’s sleep-talking. Honestly, you can’t really argue with her sleepy witticisms. I mean, the lady needs more feet! Who doesn’t need more feet? And my favorite, “The Parmesan doesn’t go like that.” People who don’t know how to use Parmesan properly are really annoying, aren’t they?

Perhaps one day I’ll get my husband to collect my best “sleep-talking poetry” and share it with all of you.


 
via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Cthulhu, Bigfoot and Ancient Alien Pyramid blankets
05.19.2015
09:23 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
aliens
Bigfoot
Cthuluhu
blankets


 
I’m digging these Cthulhu, Bigfoot, “Ancient Alien Pyramid” and “Scholarly Skull” throw blankets by Middle of Beyond. It looks like (don’t hold me to it) they’re large enough to fit on a double bed. Although, if I had one of these, I’d probably use it on my couch.

The blankets are reasonably priced at $59.99 + shipping. According to the website, all the blankets are in stock and ships in 1-2 days. Not too shabby. 


 

 

 

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Give this man a Geico commercial: The most boring/amazing karaoke channel on YouTube
05.18.2015
01:01 pm

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
karaoke


 
This morning I woke up thinking “Today, I’m a’ gonna write me a post about the Psychedelic Furs.” I don’t know why that band in particular popped into my foggy noggin early this AM while I was puttering around the house all bleary-eyed, but things can get pretty whimsical here at Dangerous Minds HQ. That’s just how we roll!

So off to YouTube I went, where I searched for “Psychedelic Furs” and then narrowed my search results to videos uploaded “this month,” which is how I found this guy who’d posted his own karaoke version of “Love My Way.” It seemed like an inspired choice of a song for karaoke to be sure, but would he try to imitate Richard Butler’s distinctive rasp? Would he, in the spirit of the best YouTube karaoke stars, give it his charismatic ALL???

Or might he have decided to do a Bill Murray lounge lizard style cover of the New Wave classic, heavy with irony, macking like a BOSS on the K-mic?

See for yourself:

 
Plenty more where that came from, after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Before there were ‘Garbage Pail Kids,’ there were ‘Wacky Packages’
05.15.2015
11:31 am

Topics:
Advertising
Amusing

Tags:
Art Spiegelman
Wacky Packages


 
Art Spiegelman’s career has produced a wide-ranging body of work. There are punk favorites Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, his comics for Playboy, his New Yorker covers, and (of course) his Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel Maus, a complex and stylized account of his father’s reflections on the Holocaust. Spiegelman has worked in the “highest” and “lowest” of artistic milieus, and while Garbage Pail Kids are probably considered the nadir of his vulgarity, his lesser-known Wacky Packages series are their obvious predecessor.

Drawn primarily by Spiegelman and then painted in full by pulp master Norman Saunders, these parodies of household brands were sold in packs of five with a stick of gum. Although packaged as trading cards, they were actually stickers you could pop out, presumably for easy defacement of public property. The work was juvenile and snide, but this stuff was the Clickhole of the late 1960’s, and although reboots and new series of Wacky Packages were launched in later years (with art by the likes of Kim Deitch, Drew Friedman and Bill Griffith) it’s the early ones from Spiegelman and Saunders that really skewered brands in a fresh, irreverent way.

While Wonder Bread actually ended up including the cards as giveaways to get kids to ask their moms to buy their product, other companies got pretty peeved and tried to sue. As a result, each series only ran for a little while, so the stickers quickly developed a cult following, and are now seriously collected by fans. In fact, in 2013, the Topps company tried to sell the original art for the “Band-Ache” sticker for $1 million!
 

 

 
Plenty more of these critters after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Fart in a jar: Get mail-order poop puffs delivered to your friends and enemies
05.14.2015
06:29 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
farts
jarts

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In ye olde Middle Ages it was commonly believed that storing farts in a jar could ward off the plagues like the Black Death. Many a yokel kept farts in a sealed stone jar—only to be opened and the noxious contents inhaled once plague appeared in the village or neighborhood. The theory was similar to the homeopathic belief that “like cures like,” and it was thought the more noxious, creamy and nasty the fart, the more powerful and curative its properties. For this reason, many health-conscious types stocked up on jars of pungent goat, pig and cow fart.

Moving on quite a few centuries, and we find this history-steeped tradition has not died, nay, but has been reinvented as Send a Jart—a novel way to send farts in a container to people we don’t like.

Send a fart in a jar. ‘Cause you can.

Know someone who’s been a total assberry lately? Let ‘em know with a sealed fart in a jar. When they open the jar to read the note inside, they’ll unleash the almighty stench of our signature Ass Air© .

Boom. You win.

 
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Jart: ‘Cause you can.
 
Yes, for just ten bucks you can send a jar filled with the scent of “Hungover Frat Boy,” “Competitive Eater” or the evil “8hr Trucker Fart.” “Each fart made of 100% real odor”—well, it would be kinda strange if it was made of anything else but odor… and each jar is made of “100% real glass.”

Sending malodorous missives isn’t new—Farts by Mail offer a similar service supplying mail order farts for $8.99 a pop:

Each fart comes with a greeting card with a custom message, heinous odor, and hilarious fart sound!

Mail sometimes sticks, but no one expects a fart!

 
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Farts by Mail: Farts just like dad used to make.

It keeps people employed, right?

More of this shit after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Watch X-Files’ Scully and Mulder sing Neil Young’s ‘Helpless’


 
Here’s something I thought I’d never see: Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny singing a duet of Neil Young’s “Helpless” at The Cutting Room in New York. This all went down last night. Apparently Duchovny just released his first solo album titled Hell Or Highwater. You learn something new every day, I guess. I haven’t researched the reviews, or heard it, so I can’t tell you if it’s any good or not. BUT that’s beside the point, IT’S DANA SCULLY AND FOX MULDER SINGING A NEIL YOUNG SONG!

And as every X-Files fan knows by now, the show is going to return to FOX as a six-episode event series which is set to premiere on Sunday, January 24, 2016. All is good in the world.

 
via AV Club

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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