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Guy proposes to his girlfriend while on a paddle boat… but there’s a slight problem
09.19.2014
02:57 pm

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Proposals


 
I don’t know what I was expecting when I clicked “play,” but I certainly wasn’t expecting what happened. The looks on everyone’s faces on the boat are priceless (especially the guy doing the proposing). In all honestly, though, I could see myself doing exactly the same thing (what the girlfriend did).

I wonder WHAT happened next!?!

So many goddamned questions…

 
via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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5th grade girl discovers Dead Kennedys CD at school library; writes diary entry about it
09.19.2014
12:23 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Punk

Tags:
Dead Kennedys


Dead Kennedys photo by ©Laura Levine
 
Okay, so this adorable letter supposedly written by a 5th grade girl has been making the rounds on the Internet the past few days. I hesitated posting it because there was no real information about its provenance. Is it too good to be true? I don’t know.


 
Click here to read larger image.
 
Here’s what Vanyaland has to say about it:

A 20-year-old from Indianapolis named Taylor-Ruth has a much cooler story — discovering Dead Kennedys at the library when she was in 5th grade, and on September 26 of that year she sat down to write pretty much the best grade-school letter anyone has ever written. Though the note was posted to her tumblr last year, it was recently retweeted by Jason Isbell, and the other day Devin Faraci of Badass Digest did some sleuthing to piece it all together.

Now some folks are calling shenanigans on the letter because they say there’s no way a librarian is going believe a 5th grader is a 15-year-old teen. I’m not too sure about that, I got a tattoo when I was 12 years old. The tattooist asked me if I was 18 years old, I said “Yep!” and she then said, “Hop in the chair then, and let’s do this.” When I got home, let’s just say… my parents were not pleased. But what were they going to do about it at that point. Besides that, my father had gotten one when he was just ten…

Below, “The Beatles” perform “California Über Alles”:

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Pricasso: The artist who uses his penis as a paintbrush (NSFW)
09.19.2014
07:07 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art

Tags:
penis art
Pricasso

001pricasso1.jpg
 
Meet Pricasso—the artist who uses his penis as a paintbrush.

Australian artist Pricasso (real name Tim Patch) started using his dick as a brush after watching a performance of Puppetry of the Penis in 2005. Inspired by those genital gymnasts, Tim decided to see if he could draw a smiley face with his wang on the back of a public urinal. He did, and this first success encouraged Patch to paint with his wee man.

After telling friends of his newly discovered penile skills, Patch was dared to paint portraits at a New Year’s party. In 2006, Tim became Pricasso, (allegedly) the only artist who paints with his penis.
 
03pricaso3.jpg
 
Over the past eight years Pricasso has entertained audiences across the world painting portraits and landscapes with his dick, balls and ass. Sometimes he paints at parties—but these “can get a bit out of hand,” and he’s even “painted directly onto naked women’s bodies.”

Pricasso’s portraits look like the kind of caricatures painted by artists around tourist hot spots in London, Paris, or Rome—happy, smiling faces in bright primary colors. Speed is of the essence and Pricasso can paint a recognizable portrait in twenty minutes. As regular paints erode the skin, Pricasso has created his own water based colors. He further protects his skin by covering his genitals and buttocks with vaseline before applying the paints with his manhood. Looking a bit like Frank N. Furter’s Rocky, the buffed and toned sixty-something Pricasso paints in the nude, and a commissioned portrait will cost between $299 and $1,000.
 
002pricasso2.jpg
 
But slapping his genitals all over a canvas is not Pricasso’s only talent, he enjoys writing poetry about the thing that is closest to his art:

I’ll always remember the words my mother said
the day I was born- as she lay in her bed
as they handed me too her- here is your son
those words they still haunt me
He’s bloody well hung.

At school I exposed it to all of the kids
the big ones all loved it- and I loved what they did
my schoolwork shrank- and I got lots of spankings
but it rapidly grew- from constantly wanking.

Pricasso has traveled all over the world, and will be visiting Miami in November. Check here for more details.
 

 
More from the undisputed master of penis painting after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Witness ‘Simpsons’ actor Harry Shearer’s total transformation into Richard Nixon


 
Between playing bassist Derek Smalls in the immortal metal spoof This is Spinal Tap and voicing dozens of characters on The Simpsons, Harry Shearer has been a key performer in two of the most oft-quoted entertainment franchises in living memory. For his latest project, however, Shearer’s the one doing the quoting. He’s re-enacting, verbatim, moments out of the presidency of the disgraced Richard M. Nixon, recasting the tragic president as a comic figure. The series, created in collaboration with Nixon scholar Stanley Kutler, is called Nixon’s the One. It already ran in the UK on Sky Arts earlier this year, and will soon be webcast weekly on YouTube’s My Damn Channel, starting on October 21st.

The scripts are taken from Nixon’s actual White House tapes—those notorious recordings that figured so heavily in the Watergate investigations that left his presidency and his legacy in utter ruins—and shot in a fly-on-the wall style that makes viewing feel like eavesdropping. A teaser was released about a week ago, in which Henry Kissinger is played by British actor Henry Goodman:
 

 
To play the former president, Shearer underwent some serious transformation—prosthetics, makeup, wig, the whole megillah, as this photo sequence attests.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photos courtesy of Hat Trick Productions Ltd.

Terrific work, but this can’t go unsaid—is it maybe a little much? Shearer’s voice isn’t his only great gift as a performer, he has a marvelously expressive face, and it seems a shame to obscure ALL of it with latex appliqués. It strikes me that he could have made a better-than-credible Nixon just with the addition of a nose and some jowls. One possible reason for the full-face prosthetics could have been to DE-age the actor—this surprised the shit out of me when I looked it up, but Shearer is 70 years of age. Nixon, in the time period being recreated, was around 60.
 

 
About a month ago, to commemorate the 40th Anniversary of Nixon’s resignation, Shearer released a similar verbatim re-creation of the unsettlingly awkward moments leading up to Nixon’s resignation speech. I’ve included the actual historic footage for comparison. The way Nixon tries to casually goof around with the news crew makes him seem more like your embarrassing perma-bachelor uncle trying to flirt with a waitress than the leader of the free world about to abandon his career in the face of nearly unanimous public contempt. Shearer’s take on that massively uncomfortable frisson works quite well as cringe comedy.
 

 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds
White House memo suggests Nixon ‘neutralize’ Johnny Cash, 1970
Wasted Richard Nixon talks, slurs his words to Ronald Reagan on the telephone, 1973
Reefer man: Did Louis Armstrong turn Richard Nixon into his drug mule?
Let Nixon play Nixon: Listen to tricky dick tickle the ivories, on a composition by Richard Nixon

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Lemmy Kilmister garden gnome
09.17.2014
09:23 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Lemmy
Garden Gnomes


 
I’ve never really considered putting a garden gnome in my garden before, but I just might have to rethink that ‘cause this Lemmy garden gnome is pretty rad and hilarious. Etsy shop Ian the Gnome refurbishes old garden gnomes and will customize ones for you, too. I’d like to have one made of Bad Brains’ frontman of H.R., too please!

The Lemmy gnome goes for $45.00.

Here are a few more I dig from Ian the Gnome:


Madhatter garden gnome for $70.00
 

Clockwork Orange gnome for $45.00
 

Cap’n Crunch gnome BECAUSE WHY NOT? For $45.00

via Cherrybombed

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Badass woman on motorcycle f*cks with litterbugs BIG TIME!
09.16.2014
09:09 am

Topics:
Amusing
Environment
Heroes

Tags:
littering


 
As someone points out in the comments on reddit, it’s almost as if this is some new kind of female superhero archetype. A leather clad woman (you can’t see what she’s wearing in the video. I’m using my imagination here) who rides a motorcycle and schools assholes who litter.

It’s pretty hardcore what she does. I wouldn’t recommend doing this in real life although I wish more people would.

Next we need a superhero who fucks with assholes who text and drive. Your Facebook update can wait, moron. You know who you are.

 
via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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‘Where Are They Now?’: Bleak animation about the current lives of 80s cartoon characters
09.16.2014
08:25 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animation

Tags:
80s cartoons


 
Being an aging rockstar is bad enough, but there are always the “oldies” package tours that play state fairs and casinos. Ever wonder what happened to your favorite 80s cartoon characters once the cartoon work dried up? Animator Steve Cutts gives you a bleak look into the current lives of Roger and Jessica Rabbit, He-Man, The Thunder Cats, ALF, Garfield, The Smurfs and so on. It ain’t pretty.

He-Man’s life is pretty rockin’, tho. He seems to have been smart with his money, something that cannot be said of most cartoon characters. I saw Underdog in a Starbucks recently, he looked like shit. Hasn’t worked steadily since 1967. I overheard him bitching about how Lorne Michaels had ruined his career…

 
via Laughing Squid

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Burger King goes ‘goth’ in Japan with their ‘Black Burger’ (and black cheese)
09.10.2014
03:08 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
Goth
Burger King


 
Writing abysmal poetic laments, watching The Crow on endless loop, sleeping all day with your sunglasses on, and teasing your hair into a proper Robert Smith ape scrotum explosion can all add up to awfully hungry work, but regular food is so fucking conformist you could PUKE, and last we checked, there’s no such thing as SNACK Bar Sinister,* so when the pangs in your stomach echo the desperate, rapacious emptiness of your dismally fetid life itself, what’s a ravening Batcaver to do?

Luckily, Japan has the answer. Not the band (though they did have plenty of good tunes), but Japanese Burger King. Via Kotaku:

Burger King Japan is rolling out another “Kuro Burger” (“Black Burger”), with buns made from bamboo charcoal, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink, beef patties made with black pepper, and black cheese, which is also apparently made with bamboo charcoal.

There are two types of burgers: the Kuro (Black) Pearl and the Kuro (Black) Diamond with all the fixings. The burgers go on sale later this month in Japan for a limited time only

I’ve had pasta and paella colored black with squid ink, but the bamboo charcoal move is new to me. I assume it’s probably more or less flavorless in the quantities needed to render bread dough blacker than Clan of Xymox‘s sock drawer. Hopefully, Burger King’s Japanese execs read Dangerous Minds, and are working on a chicken sandwich made with Ayam Cemani chicken.
 

 

 
* Someone please do this, though.

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Nick Cave hates Twitter
09.10.2014
11:11 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Nick Cave
Twitter


Photo by Derek Ridgers.
 
Last year on February 19, 2013, Nick Cave did a Q&A on Twitter for his 15th studio album Push the Sky Away. And as one would expect—c’mon it’s Nick Cave on Twitter of all things!!!—the Black Crow King hated every damned minute of it.

Some might find Cave’s answers appropriately cranky. I found them to be completely hilarious.

 

 

 

 

 
Aaannnd drumroll, please…


 
via Cherrybombed

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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French Fry Pizza
09.09.2014
11:12 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
French Fry Pizza


 
I’d be a damned liar if I said I wouldn’t eat the hell out of this “French Fry Pizza” concocted by Endo over at Foodinese. I’d hate myself after eating it, for sure, and my arteries will probably hate me, but still, c’mon it’s… French Fry Pizza! You gotta at least try it once, right?

Using cheese as a glue to hold the fries together I was able to create a crust and build a pizza on top of it.  As an added bonus for those of you who want to be health conscience while eating a pizza on top of your french fries, it’s gluten free!

Throughout the article Endo stresses it’s “GLUTEN FREE!” So all you gluten-free folks out there have no excuses to not partake in this artery-clogging mess.

Here’s the recipe as follows:

Ingredients

2lb Bag of Frozen French Fries

Salt

2 Cups of Shredded Mozzarella Cheese – Divided

¾ Cup Pizza Sauce


Pizza Sauce:

Makes about 4 ½ cups.

Ingredients

1 (15 oz) Can Tomato Sauce

1 (6 oz ) Can Tomato Paste

1 ½ Teaspoons Basil

1 ½ Teaspoons Oregano

2 Teaspoons Garlic

Pinch Red Chili Flakes

Salt and Pepper


Toppings – Optional

15 Slices Pepperoni (1 inch)

The rest of the detailed instructions and procedures can be read at Foodinese.

h/t Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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