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TSA says A-OK to mummified heads as carry-on luggage
07.27.2016
11:24 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
TSA
mummified heads


 
If you’re traveling with a mummified head and you’re curious as to whether or not the TSA will allow you to bring it as carry-on, don’t fret! Apparently the TSA is totally down with mummified heads as long as they’re “properly packaged, labeled and declared.” Good to know.

According to the TSA, all you gotta do is snap a photo and tweet it to @AskTSA to see if your mummified head meets all their requirements.

BTW, the head pictured above (and below) is that of English jurist and social reformer Jeremy Bentham the founder of philosophy of Utilitarianism. Bentham died in 1832.

 
via Boing Boing

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Woman transforms herself into Ron ‘F*cking’ Swanson
07.26.2016
10:54 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art

Tags:
Ron Swanson

 
I normally try to steer clear of celebrity makeup transformations here on Dangerous Minds, but this, THIS is really well done! Holy crap. Makeup artist and photographer Katelyn Galloway did a fantastic job transforming herself into Parks and Recreation‘s deadpan libertarian Ron “fucking” Swanson.

This photo of Ron Swanson breastfeeding a baby… GAH!


Image via Instagram.

Below, a timelapse video of Katelyn’s transformation:

 
via Laughing Squid

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Sucking on a ding-dong (for twelve minutes): The blowjob edit of ‘Sister Ray’
07.26.2016
10:37 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Lou Reed
Velvet Underground
Sister Ray


 
This twelve-and-a-half minute edit of the Velvet Underground’s classic “Sister Ray” distills the entirety of that song to one of its more memorable lines: “Too busy sucking on a ding dong/She’s busy sucking on my ding dong.”

The seventeen minute one-riff wonder was conceived on a train ride home from a bad gig, and in its recorded form it takes up most of side two of White Light/White Heat. Its lyrics comprise a laundry list of debauchery in which a handful of drag queens and sailors score and take drugs. Someone gets shot, someone else gets a blowjob, and the cops show up. It’s undiluted insanity, and some of the most glorious noise the ‘60s ever produced. Per V.U. singer/honcho Lou Reed, quoted by biographer Victor Bockris in Up-Tight: The Velvet Underground Story:

When it came to putting the music to it, it had to be spontaneous. The jam came about right there in the studio. We didn’t use any splices or anything. I had been listening to a lot of Cecil Taylor and Ornette Coleman, and wanted to get something like that with a rock & roll feeling. When we did “Sister Ray”, we turned up to ten flat out, leakage all over the place. That’s it. They asked us what we were going to do. We said “We’re going to start.” They said “Who’s playing bass?” We said “There is no bass.” They asked us when it ends. We didn’t know. When it ends, that’s when it ends.

Since the improvised song, minus solo breaks, is basically one riff, the “Ding Dong” edit is hardly distinguishable from the original if you’ve got it going in the background, which won my laugh. Also, I must note that “Smack Daniels,” the YouTube user who uploaded (and presumably made) this unleashed it to the world in early November of 2013, shortly after Lou Reed died. There were a lot of extremely weird tributes to the man—which of course is perfectly fitting—but I think this one kind of wins, and I wish I knew about it when it was new.
 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Man named Hemingway wins Florida Hemingway look-alike contest
07.26.2016
09:56 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Ernest Hemingway


These guys are kicking it the Hemingway…

A man by the name of Dave Hemingway has won the “Papa” Hemingway Look-Alike Contest. This is the first time in its 36-year history since being held that someone with the name of “Hemingway” has won the contest.

The contest, which attracted 140 entrants, is the highlight event of the annual Hemingway Days festival that celebrates the author’s legacy. It was held at Sloppy Joe’s Bar, a frequent hangout of Ernest Hemingway’s during his Key West residency in the 1930s.

I don’t know why I find this amusing, but I do. Before you accuse the festival of any favoritism, It was Dave Hemingway’s seventh attempt at the look-alike contest. This year he decided to wear a cream-colored wool turtleneck sweater often sported by the late author.

“Even though this sweater is really hot, it was part of my strategy,” the persistent already Hemingway said. “And I think it worked really well.”

Perhaps the sweet—but sweaty—sweater sealed the deal? It showed his devotion to the cause, certainly.

Below, a photo of the real Ernest Hemingway to give you some context.


 
via The Guardian and Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Sex, Satan and the single girl: Bewitching vintage occult-themed ‘men’s interest’ magazines


Black Magic magazine, Volume three, Number two.
 
The rise of interest in New Age and occult practices in the 60s and 70s (with a heavy nod of thanks to satanic merchant Kenneth Anger for picking up where Aleister Crowley left off) helped pave the way for a new crop of niche “men’s interest” magazines that focused on hot girls getting down with the devil as well as witches and other kinds of sexy pagan-flavored pursuits. Nice.
 

Bitchcraft magazine, Volume three, Number one.
 
Inside the covers of such magazines as the wickedly titled BDSM-themed magazine Bitchcraft (which was actually pretty nuts by all accounts) you might find erotic fictional depictions of satanic rituals (such the faux fiends on the cover of Bitchcraft) and others, such as Satan magazine were more like devilish Playboy doppelgangers purporting to be flirting with the dark side when in fact it was just another way to sell pictures of pretty girls and perhaps celebrities (such as gorgeous fireball, actress Tina Louise who played Ginger on Gilligan’s Island who appeared the publication in 1957) in various stages of undress with devil horns on their heads. During the course of researching this very sexy post, I came across this composed yet completely depraved letter that was written by a reader of girl-loving magazine Nymphet back in the March 1976 issue in response to an illustrated image of Anton LaVey and a nude woman. Although it’s a fairly terrifying read it does help support the fact that there was indeed a market for publications to help satiate the sexually deprived Satan worshipers of the world:

I’ve been a fan of skin mags for a long time, now and one of the things that bugs me in particular, is the absence of the occult from sexually oriented material. For a brief spurt about three or four years ago, voodoo, Satanism and the occult were getting a fair amount of play in magazines similar to your own. Now, however, there’s little––if anything, appearing on this shadier side of human sexuality. I find extremely arousing, the rituals and ceremonies involving the symbols of witchcraft and devil worship––especially the idea of sacrificing a virgin and the actual deflowering of the virgin by the Evil One himself. One of the most exciting aspects of that brief period was the popularity of Anton La Vea [sic], occult leader of the 5000-member Satanic Church in San Francisco, California. I thought he was very colorful and the sensual practice of nudity among his worshippers, stimulating indeed! Other than this, I really have no complaints about your magazine. But I would like to see more kinky types of sex handled visually, as well as in the articles––subjects like necrophilia and bestiality.”
J. L. Jackson, Atlanta, Georgia.

Well said, J.L. Jackson of Atlanta—you sir or madam clearly know how to party. Images from the covers and pages of magazines such as Pagan, Satan’s Scrapbook, Black Magic and of course Satan (because, Satan) follow. Some are NSFW.
 

The cover of a vintage Satan magazine.
 

Actress Tina Louise in the February, 1957 issue of Satan magazine.
 

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Teenage Sophia Loren was deemed ‘too provocative’ to win the title of Miss Italy, 1950

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The path to success is often circuitous, filled with detours, wrong turnings, dead ends and log-jammed highways. Perseverance and a great desire to succeed are requisite. Where one starts off is sometimes far removed from where one arrives.

Sophia Loren was a mere fifteen-year-old when she stood in line with the other young girls hoping to win the glittering prize of Miss Italy in Rome 1950. The Miss Italy beauty contest was devised as a “pick-me-up” for the defeated and beleaguered Italian nation after the Second World War in 1946.

Many of those early Miss Italia winners and contestants became well known in Italy and abroad. In 1947 alone there were four contestants who later went on to Italian entertainment fame: Lucia Bose (the winner that year), Gianna Maria Canale (second place), Gina Lollobrigida (third), and Eleonora Rossi Drago (fourth).

In 1950 the competition was broadcast live on radio. This was the year Miss Loren made her appearance under the name Sofia Scicolone.  However, the teenage beauty was considered “too provocative” to win the contest and the judging panel awarded Miss Loren the specially devised title of “Miss Eleganza 1950.”

Maria Bugliari won the title of Miss Italy but her success was small potatoes when compared to the long and brilliant career Sophia Loren achieved as an actress from then on.
 
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More early photos of Sophia Loren, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
There are cupcakes you can squeeze that look like giant pimples
07.19.2016
10:18 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food
Unorthodox

Tags:
Cupcakes
pimples



 
Okay, sure, so this is probably just totally gross and unnecessary, but hey, in my defense, my job here at Dangerous Minds is—often, not always, but often—to expose you, our dear readers, to the bowels of Internet hell. And this, unfortunately, includes posting about cupcakes that look like giant cystic pimples that you can actually squeeze! Blessed By Baking, in California came up with this idea because of the Internets’ obsession with pimple-popping videos on YouTube by Dr. Pimple Popper. Apparently people are strangely satisfied by watching videos of pimples and blackheads being extracted.

So naturally the next step with this obsession is to make squeezable pimple cupcakes, right? Ew.

According to Blessed By Baking, the cupcakes taste awesome. The yellow pus-like substance is actually custard or lemon curd. To be honest, I wouldn’t touch this shit. No way!

 
via Daily Mail

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
How To Make a David Lynch Film: Perfect parody cleverly disguised as Lynch film within a Lynch film
07.18.2016
12:51 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Movies

Tags:
David Lynch


 
One of our stock moves here at Dangerous Minds on a slow traffic day is to post something related to David Lynch. Like almost anything about the guy or even tangentially Lynch or Twin Peaks-related (like a cherry pie recipe) is guaranteed to be shared on social media. A lot. People seem to love David Lynch… or do they really?

To be honest, I’m not so sure how genuine all this supposed rabid Lynch fandom actually is. I think people think they’re supposed to like his work and if they don’t get it, then they aren’t cool. How else to explain the Emperor’s new clothes-ishness of Lynch fans, most of whom, if pressed, have rather a difficult time explaining why they like his films so much. Even smart people will twist themselves into pretzels offering pointless interpretations and tenuous excuses for his work. Ask one of them to be specific sometimes, the resulting word salad, it’s a good laugh.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the earlier part of Lynch’s filmography: I first saw Eraserhead projected on a wall in my parents’ basement on a 16mm film projector with a print that was acquired via an interstate film library lending system. I’d read about it and I HAD TO SEE IT and that’s the kind of hoops I had to jump through back then to be able to clap my eyes on the film. I saw The Elephant Man in a cinema by myself when I was 14. I must’ve watched Blue Velvet five times in a movie theater. I saw each and every episode of Twin Peaks as it aired. Wild at Heart, I’ve seen this multiple times, too.
 

 
But after that… I mean come the fuck on! From Lost Highway onwards, his films (for the most part) simply stop making sense. Moody? Sure. Sexy? Often. Nice to look at. Okay. They’re also incoherent self-parodies and ultimately say nothing. Frankly I think people extolling the virtues of Lynch’s incomprehensible later films are fooling themselves into believing that there is some occult profundity contained therein. The message? Go ahead and search for one. I’ll just wait here until you’ve given up.

Writer/director Joe McClean seems to feel the same way I do about David Lynch. McClean made a step-by-step guide on How To Make A David Lynch Film and cleverly disguised it as a David Lynch film within a David Lynch film.

It’s plain and simple. I watch David Lynch movies and I just don’t understand them. I decided I was going to try and figure them out so I stapled my eyes open and had a Lynch-a-thon. It didn’t help. I thought if I forced myself to watch, at some point it would just click and it would all make since. That never happened. I believe that good and bad are subjective terms so I allow others to spew forth praise and amazement at the genius of Lynch’s work, and I fully believe they have a right to their opinion.

This movie is my opinion.

See if you agree too, after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘Possibly possessed keyboard player steals the show’
07.18.2016
10:17 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
possession
marching band


 
I’m a bit late to the game with this one. Like a week late. But it’s the Internet. And the Internet is a very big Internet. This young lady deserves to be here on Dangerous Minds, because clearly she has one.

What you’re witnessing is a young woman in what appears to be a marching band playing the keyboard like nobody’s business. She’s feeling it. Do I think she’s possessed? No. She’s just in the zone.

The video gained its popularity on Facebook and has been viewed almost 2 million times. I see a bright future for her as the opening act for Marilyn Manson or Slipknot. She’s the shit!

 
via Everlasting Blort 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
John Cage’s 4’33” performed on a refrigerator

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When John Cage started out on his career as a composer he was all for noise—for creating “more new sounds.”

In 1937, Cage developed his ideas about noise in an essay The Future of Music: Credo in which he said:

Wherever we are, what we hear is mostly noise.  When we ignore it, it disturbs us.  When we listen to it, we find it fascinating.

Noise was the spur. Cage wanted a “revolution, a healthy lawlessness.” He thought this possible by “hitting anything”—tin pans, rice bowls, iron pipes, whatever came to hand—something he later demonstrated on the TV show I’ve Got a Secret in 1960.

Not only hitting, but rubbing, smashing, making sound in every possible way.

All this changed when Cage met musician Gita Sarabhai in the 1940s who told him:

The purpose of music is to quiet and sober the mind, making it susceptible to divine influences.

It was a major epiphany for Cage. It changed his ideas about “noise” and led him to pose the question why do humans compose music? He said he was “embarrassed” by his search for new sounds and by 1948 had conceived of an idea of creating a piece of music called Silent Prayer consisting solely of “uninterrupted silence” performed for about three or four-and-half minutes (the length of most “canned muzak”) the ending of which “will approach imperceptibility.”

Cage realized silence was as important as sound in composition—but silence shared only one characteristic with sound—time. Silence can not be described in terms of pitch or harmony but only in duration of time. This led—by one composition and another—to his composing 4’ 33” in 1952.

This wasn’t the first time Cage had used silence in his music—his Duet for Two Flutes from 1934 opened with silence. Similarly in his Sonatas and Interludes (1946–48) and Waiting (1952) silence was integral to their musical structure. The idea of “silence” had been percolating in Cage’s mind for some time.

4’ 33” was first performed by pianist David Tudor at a recital of contemporary music at Woodstock, New York on August 29th, 1952. It was performed in three parts of 33’, 2’ 40” and 1’ 20”—each section timed by use of a stopwatch. Tudor indicated the beginning and end of each part by closing and opening the keyboard lid.

Hear 4’ 33” performed on a refrigerator after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
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