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Head of Chucky bath bomb and other horror-themed bath bombs
08.18.2017
10:15 am
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Here’s a Chucky head bath bomb by California-based Loquita Bath and Body. Apparently it is orange scented. I’m in. Who wouldn’t want a fizzy bath with Chucky’s head? The bath bomb sells for $7.00 but is currently sold out. Boo!

It didn’t seem fair to post about a Chucky bath bomb you couldn’t buy, so I did some Internet research and found some other horror-themed bath bombs you can still purchase. I linked where to buy them underneath each image.


Click here to buy
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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08.18.2017
10:15 am
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Yep! At long last there’s a Flying Spaghetti Monster colander!
08.17.2017
11:10 am
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Perfect headwear for your next driver’s license photo, this is the Flying Spaghetti Monster Colander designed by Lior Rokah Kor. The colander is available through Ototo for only $18. The Flying Spaghetti Monster Colander is on preorder and will be available with a September 6, 2017 release.

Since it’s plastic, I’m going to assume that it might not be dishwasher safe. 


 
Some examples of Pastafarians wearing colanders in their driver’s license photos:


 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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08.17.2017
11:10 am
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‘Flesh Gordon,’ the ‘Space Age Sex Spoof’ of the Seventies that’s ‘out of this world’
08.16.2017
11:14 am
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People, we’re in big trouble.

On the far distant planet of Porno, Emperor Wang the Perverted has his sex ray pointed at Earth and every time he shoots the damned thing everyone goes plum sex-mad crazy. People are fucking in the street. Orgies are piling up everywhere. No one is safe. And the cry goes up, “Is there a hero out there who can save us?”

Too right there is. Name’s Flesh Gordon—who is somehow unaffected by Wang’s porny ray.

That’s just the opener for Michael Benveniste and Howard Ziehm’s schlocky sexploitation flick Flesh Gordon from 1974. If you are cognizant with the original 1930’s Universal serials or have seen the big screen version of Flash Gordon, then you’ll know just exactly how the story goes in this “outrageous parody of yesterday’s superheroes.”

Flesh (Jason Williams) teams up with a young woman called Dale Ardor (Suzanne Fields) and a scientist Dr. Flexi Jerkoff (Joseph Hudgins), who just happens to have a rocket ship ready to blast off to beat the evil Wang (William Dennis Hunt). This unlikely trio zoom off into space, land on Porno, and combat Wang and his band of “raping robots.” Along the way, they encounter Prince Precious (Mycle Brandy) the rightful king of Porno and his band of merry men, Queen Amora (Nora Wieternik), and the Great God Porno—a Ray Harryhausen-type monster voiced by none other than Craig T. Nelson. Thrills, comedy, and sex ensue.

The storyline for Flesh Gordon was so close to the original that Universal Studios at one point actively considered suing the filmmakers for blatant copyright infringement. Benveniste and Ziehm avoided this calamity by simply stating that their film was intended as an “homage” to the original source material. They also had all the advertising material labeled with the caveat that their movie was “Not to be confused with the original Flash Gordon.”

Flesh Gordon was originally intended as a hardcore space age romp with full-on sex but unfortunately “the filming of such material was illegal in Los Angeles at the time it was made (hard as that may be to believe now)”

...to prevent their prosecution for pandering, the filmmakers were forced to surrender all such footage [to] the L.A. vice squad, and Flesh Gordon was released without explicit pornographic content.

The end result was a rather tame sophomorish comic sexploitation movie that somehow managed to win over its audience with its likeable schlocky charm. It’s fair to say that films like Flesh Gordon along with the likes of John Boorman’s Zardoz or Ken Russell’s Lisztomania or even Car Wash and Saturday Night Fever say as much about the free-wheeling hedonistic zeitgeist of the 1970s as gritty films like Taxi Driver, Mean Streets, Get Carter, and The Conversation reflect the converse.
 
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More ‘Flesh,’ revealed after the jump…

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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08.16.2017
11:14 am
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Mysterious photos of Ozzy Osbourne in the nude performing with a naked hippie band back in 1969
08.15.2017
10:17 am
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Ozzy reacting the same way I did to the news that photos from his brief stint in an all-nude hippie band have surfaced.
 
Okay, here’s the deal—I’m posting two images of what looks like a very young, and completely nude Ozzy Osbourne for a couple of reasons. Reason one is that I am a lifelong disciple of OZZ and look for any legitimate reason to write about Ozzy, Tony Iommi, and his bandmates in Black Sabbath and beyond. However, today, I’m hoping that one of our DM readers, or perhaps Ozzy himself might be able to shed some much-needed light on these mysterious images. Here’s what I know about them so far. Help us, Ozzy, you’re our only hope

According to a site once run by a Germany-based Black Sabbath fan, Black-Sabbath.de, someone sent them two photos of Ozzy from a source in Scandinavia. The first photo allegedly shows a very young Ozzy holding a what appears to be a Fender Precision bass on stage completely nude while sharing a microphone stand with a naked brunette. As much as I’d like to be, I’m no expert when it comes to band gear, and the grainy photos below make it nearly impossible—for me at least—to tell what Ozzy actually has slung over his shoulder. The rest of the all-nude-review includes a drummer—a guy with lambchop sideburns who looks a bit like Monkee Michael Nesmith hitting a bongo, and a beardie nude dude playing a stand-up bass.

The second photo features Ozzy hanging out backstage at the gig with the stand-up bass player and the buck-naked brunette. What makes this strange scenario plausible is the fact that Sabbath played a a TON of gigs in 1969 including multiple stops in Copenhagen. Since I had gone this far, I decided to research the bands Sabbath played gigs with in 1969 in the hope that one of them would reveal themselves to be the nude quartet jamming with Ozzy. Sadly, the closest I got was that perhaps Ozzy’s hippie band might have been comprised of members of English band Bakerloo who at one time were photographed as the “The Bakerloo Blues Line” along with a cute, unidentified brunette who was perhaps a member of the band. Bakerloo previously toured with Sabbath while they were still known as Earth in London and likely elsewhere. However, as there is a naked bongo player in this scenario, it’s possible that Ozzy is hanging out with members of local Birmingham band, Rare Breed.

Where are those goddamned meddling kids and their snack-happy dog when you need them?

Despite my heroic heavy metal efforts to resolve this mystery, this is where my investigation into Ozzy’s nude (maybe) Scandinavian escapade ends. You can see the intriguing NSFW black and white photos for yourself and draw your own conclusions, after the jump.

Wait are you waiting for?

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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08.15.2017
10:17 am
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Amusing vintage outsider art of Debbie Harry done by a teen fan
08.15.2017
10:09 am
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Debbie Harry and one of writer/blogger Toby Weiss’ illustrations of Harry that was done by Weiss in 1979.
 
I’ve said it before a thousand times—I love my job here at Dangerous Minds. And today that fact is especially true as I will be sharing a few choice vintage illustrations of Debbie Harry done by one of her teenage superfans.

Posted on her blog M.E.L.T., St. Louis-based writer Toby Weiss chronicled her devotion to the fabulous Ms. Harry by revealing a handful of her charming illustrations of the pop icon that she did between 1979 and 1983. Here’s a little bit from Weiss concerning her adoration of all things Debbie Harry:

“I’d never experienced anyone like her; she was so beautiful and powerful and talented that she seemed more like a comic book hero. Everything I needed to know about life, sex, fashion, and music, I looked to Debbie. And because American media was now as infatuated with her as I was, it was easy to get all the advice I needed.”

Fantastic. Weiss’ adorable, self-described “teenage scribbles” of Harry below.
 

June, 1979.
 

November, 1979.
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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08.15.2017
10:09 am
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Objects of Desire: Vintage erotic pocket watches (NSFW)
08.15.2017
09:43 am
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From what I can gather, the earliest erotic pocket watches date back to the 17th-century when they were intended as prized erotica for a small but wealthy market. Some of these early designs were made as saucy keepsakes for loved ones, while others were specifically manufactured for the Chinese market, in particular the Emperor and his entourage, where many of these naughty timepieces were given as gifts to cement trade and diplomatic agreements.

By the 18th-century, erotic automaton pocket watches—that is timepieces with painted dials and movable parts depicting explicit scenes of sexual congress—were popular with royalty and the upper class. These watches usually featured a brightly painted erect penis that swayed back and forth in time with the second hand. One such watch, the Henry Capt, Musique d’Amour sold for $216,880 in 2011. Of course, back in the day, being caught with a porny timepiece could lead to its confiscation and public censure. Today we’ve got the Internet…

These pocket watches weren’t just cheap knock-offs, they made by some of the finest and most famous clockmakers in the world like Cortébert, Breguet et Fils, and Doxa. In the 20th-century, companies like Omega and Smiths-Ingersoll continued the tradition producing a limited but highly collectible selection of erotic watches—including one in which Snow White entertained the Seven Dwarves.

The following selection ranges from Breguet et Fils “Cavalcade” (1820), which depicts a couple on on horseback, to the mid-20th-century Swiss designs of randy gentlefolk enjoying some outdoor sports.
 
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More titillating timepieces, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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08.15.2017
09:43 am
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Bikini butt charms are a thing
08.15.2017
08:45 am
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These terribly uncomfortable-looking bikini “butt charms” are apparently now a thing and are made by Japanese merchandiser BoDivas. I haven’t actually seen a single person sporting this butt bling so far this summer, so I’m not sure how much of a “thing” this crotch jewelry really is. To be fair though, it’s been awhile since I’ve visited a swimming pool or a beach. Maybe they’re everywhere?

They’re called “Beachtails” and they range in price from $19.50 to $22.50. The Beachtails also come in lots of colors so you can strategically coordinate them with your swimwear bottoms.

As a side note: I noticed there’s not one review for these on Amazon. Not one.


Get your Beachtail here.
 

Get your Beachtail here.

 

 

Posted by Tara McGinley
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08.15.2017
08:45 am
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We have a new contender for best / worst screamingly funny BAD cover version of a classic rock song!
08.11.2017
08:00 am
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OK, so maybe it’s not quite as bad as this butchering of “Sweet Child of Mine” or this total annihilation of “Comfortably Numb,” but this gloriously awful choral rendition of Foreigner’s classic rock radio staple, “Cold As Ice,” surely deserves its own page in the annals of terrible cover song history.

This video, uploaded three years ago, purports to be Fairhope High School Choir’s entry into a competition to play onstage with Foreigner in Mobile, Alabama.

I almost feel bad laughing at this because they’re kids and they’re trying so hard… well, OK, admittedly they’re not trying all that hard.

The bizarro costume choices (what’s up with the white hoodies?), inexplicable makeup (is that green blush?) and choreographed dance moves add an extra layer of WTF to this particularly unrocking arrangement. The kids, at times, look truly embarrassed to be involved in this and you can’t help but feel a little sad for their cruel humiliation. I’m sure it was their greatest unfulfilled dream to play onstage with Foreigner some day!

These poor, poor kids.

Watch it, after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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08.11.2017
08:00 am
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‘English Boys’: Debbie Harry and Chris Stein visit the BBC children’s show ‘Swap Shop,’ 1979
08.10.2017
09:12 am
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Photo by Lynn Goldsmith (via Morrison Hotel)
 
Blondie is, per Kirsty Young, “the most successful American band ever in the UK.” In December of ‘79, having just topped the chart yet again with Eat to the Beat, Debbie Harry and Chris Stein paid a visit to the BBC’s Saturday morning kids’ show Swap Shop—apparently a rival of Tiswas whose full legal name was Multi-Coloured Swap Shop—where guests offered swag to lucky contestants who wrote in with the correct answer to a trivia question. Some of the dry goods on this episode come from the recently completed “rock and roll comedy” Roadie, in which Blondie’s co-stars were Meat Loaf, Alice Cooper, Roy Orbison and Art Carney.

During the best parts of the episode, Chris and Debbie press phones to their ears as the tiny, halting voices of English schoolchildren blurt out questions and wishes for a happy Christmas:

Ian Rutledge: I wanted to ask Debbie, did she participate in any sports?

Beverly Chinnick: Um, Debbie, who designs your clothes, and um, do you choose them?

Samantha Jarrett: Um, um, Debbie, did you name your group after your hair?

Paulette Baker: Can I ask Debbie a question? Was her hair always that fair color, or was it brown like the other members of her group?

Because the proceedings are so sweet, the mention of the disgraced TV host Jimmy Savile, who was revealed to have been a serial rapist of children shortly after his death, is startling. Brace yourself. (Savile does not appear on the show, though the gross likeness of his gross hair does.)

If Wikipedia is right, BBC wiped its archival tape of this episode in the late eighties. Three cheers for home recording.
 
Watch after the jump…

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Posted by Oliver Hall
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08.10.2017
09:12 am
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Chewy cocks and gummy vaginas: Things that you can eat but you probably shouldn’t
08.08.2017
10:28 am
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Taste the RAINBOW! The jumbo rainbow dick pop, that is. Get yours here.
 
Oh, the places I go to keep all you wonderful Dangerous Minds readers entertained on a daily basis. I took one for team DM today as my “research” for this post took me to places I would never have innocently wandered myself unless I was planning on pranking a pal by sending them a Piña Colada-flavored candy penis. To answer Jimmy Buffet’s age old question regarding my current disposition on Piña Coladas, no. No, I do not like Piña Coladas, Sam-I-Am. Not anymore anyway.

So here’s the thing, after digging up a few different varieties of edible candy dicks, I found a bunch of other goofy foodstuffs like “Dickorice” which is marketed to people who love dick and licorice equally as well as the awful-as-it-sounds “Gum Job” candy that you put on your teeth before you engage in oral sex. There are even gummy handcuffs that for some baffling reason exist. Of all the weird sexy candy in this post, I can’t lie—I am partial to the lollipop by Naughty Talk Pops that says “Let’s Fuck,” because sometimes you just need to be direct. I’ve posted links along with the NSFW images below on where you can get these naughty novelties out there on the Internet.
 

Piña Colada-flavored “Cocktail” flavored sucker. Get it here.
 

“Screaming Orgasm”-flavored sucker.
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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08.08.2017
10:28 am
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