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So, yeah, there’s now an artisanal vegan prison tattoo kit…
08.29.2014
07:39 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Stupid or Evil?

Tags:
tattoo


 
So you want a shitty amateur tattoo, obtained without the hassle or expense that can accompany experienced professionals and sterile environments, but you’re not SO obtuse as not to fear the Hep C, tetanus and necrotizing fasciitis you can get from using a safety pin and ink harvested from a ballpoint pen? Stick and Poke is here, claiming to render safe your brave and likely idiotic choice with their home tattoo kits, containing sealed needles, basic sterility supplies, and vegan ink, which is important for some reason.
 

 
WHAT I AM NOT GOING TO DO HERE:  There will be no tattoo shaming. I’m inked, so I’ve obviously got nothing against the practice. There will be no hipster straw-manning, as I’m arguably in a glass house on that count, too. There will be no ripping on vegans, even sanctimonious ones. There are far worse things in this world than a food scold. All I’m saying is the trendlet for tiny little homemade blackline tattoos all over one’s self has already saturated to the point where Miley Cyrus forfuxsakes has a bunch of them on her hands. Is that who you want to be like? Miley Cyrus? If there’s any doubt that this is aimed squarely at over precious, faddish tweepeople, check out the flash they offer, which look like the study hall doodles of an inapt 7th grader.
 

 

 

 
Understanding that people have been doing this on their own forever and will continue to do so, it’s surely better that it be done with a modicum of safety in mind, so I sought the opinion of a qualified, long-standing professional in the field to pick his brain about these kits. Ladies and gentlemen, meet The Human Furnace, singer for hardcore/metal lifers and Relapse Records artists Ringworm, and co-proprietor since 1997 of 252 Tattoo, now with two locations to better serve Northeast Ohio. I asked him for his take on the safety of these kits, and while I expected he wouldn’t be fully on board with them, I didn’t quite expect him to projectile-vomit a nest of hornets:

Wow. This is pretty hilarious. I particularly like the page of the manual that warns “Consult your physician before getting a tattoo. Consult a professional tattoo artist before getting a tattoo.” Huh? What’s this kit FOR, then? Isn’t the entire “WARNINGS” section one giant oxymoron? And the “professional vegan ink” has such a nice ring to it. This pretty much takes the whole “kit tattooing” thing to a more ignorant level, as a tattoo machine is too technical for some, and let’s face it, sometimes the spare room in your mother-in-law’s trailer doesn’t have any outlets. Just stick ‘em with a needle!

Basically, someone just packaged up about $3.50 worth of crap in a box and is marketing to the extra large percentage of idiots around the world. On some levels, I enjoy things like this because its soooooooo enjoyable to make fun of the results when people fly the huge “Hey look! I’m an IDIOT and I don’t even know it” flag, so I appreciate them saving me some time in getting to know them. I’m a busy man. And, I must admit that there was a time (a loooong time ago) that I was hand-poking The Germs (O’s) tattoos on my buddies shoulders on front porches in the summer time while drinking crazy horse malt liquor and listening to the Exploited, but things where different then. I dunno. Perhaps I’m wrong. Tattooing and the whole tattoo industry was completely different 25-26 yrs ago. It wasn’t hip. The prom queen, star quarterback and student council president didn’t have full sleeves of Sailor Jerry tattoos or Mumford and Sons song lyrics written across their ribs. And, as much as this type of stuff amuses me, it really just takes another bite out of the professional tattoo industry. Young Idiots like myself and many many others worked really fucking hard to get tattooing to a legit level. It’s disheartening sometimes to realize that crap like this is just a by-product caused by the mainstreaming of tattooing.

Should this type of thing be illegal? There’s a strong case for it. Professionals have to be certified (and these days, certifiable), have blood-borne pathogen classes, follow codes, follow professional standards, ethics (well, maybe not ethics, but that’s a whole other story) etc. Will this type of thing ever BE illegal? Fuck no. You’ll never be able to stop this type of stuff. As long as there is an angle to make some cash and exploit some popular trend, somebody’s going to do it. So, Get in on it while ya can folks! Make extra CA$H from Home! Why pay outrageous professional prices? Fuck your best friend up! Fuck your brother up! Fuck your sister! Oops, I mean, fuck your sister up and even fuck yourself up with the Stick and Poke Tattoo Kit from Ronco! Fun for All Ages!.....ughhhhh. Someone come get me when this is all over. I have some tattooing to do. On the bright side, our hospitals are going to be getting a nice influx of staph and sepsis cases to keep them busy. We’ve got healthcare now right?

So there you go, straight from a pro. A smartass, rant-prone pro, but among his many points, he’s got a damn good one about the expense. The kit goes for $40—a “bargainous” $70 if you get the nauseatingly precious “partners” set—but fifty tattooing needles in sterile packaging retail for about $6, ink for about $3, and much of the industrialized world already has gauze, rubbing alcohol and bandages socked away in the bathroom cupboard. This is an expensive box of bullshit, made of unbleached brown paper so its dainty consumer can feel planet savingly eco-friendly about the completely wasted packaging. But I guess it doesn’t matter how that handlebar mustache gets on the side of your index finger, just as long as it gets there.
 

 
I would totally let Beth Piwkowski use one of these kits to tattoo Foot Foot on my neck in gratitude for this find.

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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7-year-old redesigns condiment label so that it doesn’t look like turds
08.29.2014
07:21 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
brown sauce


 
There is packaging that is corny and packaging that is ugly and packaging that is lame, but most of the time we can ignore bad design. But then there are cetain labels that look like shit—not “shitty,” mind you, but like actual, literal shit. For example, the original packaging for Waitrose brown sauce appeared to feature feces—apparently they’re dates (Where besides Palm Springs would they serve dates with breakfast? I say they’re cat poop.). Luckily, intrepid six-year-old (now seven) Harry Deverill sensed something amiss, and wrote to the company a helpful letter, politely skirting the obvious resemblance of the dates to something less nutritious…

Dear Mark Price,

I am writing as the other morning I had Waitrose essential Brown Sauce with my bacon sandwiches. I asked Daddy what the picture is of on the label. Daddy didn’t know and neither do I. Please could you let me know. Mummy says I am good at drawing so if you would like me to draw a new picture for the label I would be happy to.

Kind regards, Harry Deverill, aged 6

You can see Harry with his adorable (and identifiable) redesign in the picture below. The traditional English breakfast is unfairly maligned in my opinion, but its reputation isn’t helped by fecal graphics. So well done, Harry! May all your breakfasts be devoid of scatological imagery!
 

 
Via Fast Company

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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‘Brickjest,’ the LEGO version of ‘Infinite Jest’ by David Foster Wallace


“These are three Deans—of Admissions, Academic Affairs, Athletic Affairs. I do not know which face belongs to whom,” p. 3
 
Infinite Jest, the famously brilliant and famously unread 1996 novel by David Foster Wallace, frequently described as the most important novel of the 1990s and then some ... finally has inspired a LEGO muse to take up the task of executing a brick adaptation. It is called BrickJest. Infinite Jest is about many things, including tennis, addiction, filmmaking, corporate sponsorship, and terrorism. It’s a rich tapestry that positively cries out for the medium of brightly colored plastic bricks.

Charmingly, the photos below (just a fraction of the whole) are the fruits of a collaboration between Prof. Kevin Griffith of Capital University and his eleven-year-old son Sebastian, who “created all the scenes based on his father’s descriptions of the relevant pages.” They were jointly inspired by The Brick Bible by Brendan Powell Smith.
 

“‘I am not just a creatus, manufactured, conditioned, bred for a function.’ ... ‘Sweet mother of Christ,’ the Director says,” p. 12
 

“He felt similar to the insect inside the girder his shelf was connected too, but was not sure just how he was similar,” p. 19
 

“And out of nowhere a bird had all of a sudden fallen into the Jacuzzi,” p. 44
 

“The tall, ungainly, socially challenged and hard-drinking Dr. Incandenza’s May-December marriage to one of the few bona-fide bombshell-type females in North American Academia, the extremely tall and high-strung . . . Avril Mondragon . . .,” p. 64
 

“So but when Schtitt dons the leather helmet and goggles and revs up the old F.R.G.-era BMW cycle . . . it is usually eighteen-year-old Mario Incandenza who gets to ride along in the side-car . . .,” p. 79
 

“Feral hamsters are not pets. They mean business,” p. 93
 

“Video telephony rendered the fantasy insupportable,” p. 146
 

“1610h. Weightroom freestyle circuits. The clank and click of various resistance-systems. Lyle on the towel dispenser . . .,” p. 198
 

“Gately now shares the important duty of ‘breaking down the hall,’ sweeping floors and emptying ashtrays . . .,” p. 360
 

“Clipperton plays tennis with the Glock 17 held steadily to his left temple,” p. 409
 

“Gately has to smile at the Wraith’s cluelessness . . .a drug addict’s second most meaningful relationship is always with his domestic entertainment unit, TV/VCR or HDTP,” p. 834
 
via Biblioklept

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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Miniature marvels: Welcome to the fabulous world of Subatomic Tourism

pic6daleks.jpg
Entourage.
 
Subatomic Tourism is the fantastic miniature world created by “bequiffed” Edinburgh-based visual art Mirren Audax. As he describes it on his site:

Subatomic Tourism is an ongoing project to big up the small with a hint of Irwin Allen and Richard Feynman, along with a touch of Marcel Duchamp and Ray Harryhausen; to bring by way of Joseph Cornell and Gerry Anderson a celebration of the wonderful world-sized diorama we find ourselves living in.

Audax photographs scenes created with toy figures placed in urban settings that resemble stills from classic TV series, science fiction films, pop culture and surreal portraiture. With references to Doctor Who, Star Trek, H. P. Lovecraft and American road movies, Audux’ fabulous images allow the viewer to invent their own narrative for each image.

See more Lilliputian worlds here, and you can follow the Museum of Subatomic Tourism on Facebook and Twitter.
 
pic2migrationtracking.jpg
Migration Tracking.
 
pic26lostinthesupermarket.jpg
Lost In The Supermarket.
 
pic13cybertunnock.jpg
Silver Foil Nemesis.
 
pic27thesaucer.jpg
The Saucer.
 
More miniature marvels after the jump…
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Tape Decks: VHS-themed skate decks
08.27.2014
11:34 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art

Tags:
VHS tape
skate decks


 
I’m digging on these skate decks paying homage to 80s and 90s VHS cassette packaging. NYC-based skate­board com­pany 5BORO is selling these puppies and you check out the whole collection here. They’re reasonably priced at $49.99.

 
via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Is this old Betty Crocker commercial the reason everyone hates the word ‘moist’?
08.27.2014
09:51 am

Topics:
Amusing
Food

Tags:
moist


 
Apparently “moist” is the most hated word in the English language. Period.

University of Pennsylvania linguistics professor Mark Liberman explained to Good why we hate “moist” and that:

“[W]ord aversion is different from word rage, which is “where people get angry at jargon or slang associated with a despised group, or upset because a word or phrase is felt to be incorrectly used, or annoyed at language that they perceive as redundant, or overly complicated, or pretentious, or a cliché, or trendy, or politically incorrect.” That kind of dislike is more common. Grudges against irregardless, synergy, like, don’t go there, or retard fit comfortably in the word rage department.

The word itself has an association making it unpleasant or even disgusting for some people. People don’t like hearing “moist.” They also don’t like the way their own mouth feels when they say it. It seems like a mysterious psychological process at play here, but is it really?

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and point my finger directly at Betty Crocker (I’m looking at YOU, Betty!) and its “Moist Cake Mix Commercial” for officially ruining the word “moist.” You want a smoking gun? Here it is!

See how long you can sit through this commercial without wanting to punch a hole in the wall!
 

 
h/t Todd Philips!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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‘Tase me, bro!’: Portraits of people getting tased—but by a loved one
08.27.2014
08:10 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art

Tags:
Patrick Hall
tasers


 
Patrick Hall, Charleston-based photographer and founder of fstoppers, recently posted the fruits of a strange and delightful photo shoot in which “each person was tazed by their friend or significant other.” As Hall writes in his project description, “The emotions on both sides of the taser were extremely entertaining to watch. The person getting tazed was almost always nervous and jittery with either a sense of fear or anxiety. The participants doing the tazing had a different demeanor altogether. Most of them were excited to cause pain to their friend and only showed remorse immediately after executing the shock.” 

The video at bottom, which shows some of the tasing in slow motion, is wildly entertaining. There’s a surprising amount of mirth in the video, which is surely part of Hall’s point, about the deflecting need to veer into humor when something unpleasant is going on.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
via designboom

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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The ‘Fawlty Towers’ hotel meticulously recreated in LEGO
08.26.2014
10:08 am

Topics:
Amusing
Television

Tags:
Lego
Fawlty Towers

0towersf.jpg
 
One of the funniest and most enduring sitcoms ever made continues to have inspire fans almost 40 years after it was first broadcast.

Nathan Feist has painstakingly recreated the famous Fawlty Towers hotel out of LEGO. He included such precise details as the reception desk, the broken-antlered moose head, the fire extinguisher and even the design of the lobby’s tiling.

Originally Feist had planned to build the set of Number 6’s apartment from The Prisoner or the combat information center from Battlestar Galactica but, as these had either been built or the LEGO parts were not available, opted instead for the Fawlty Towers set.

Nathan’s incredible homage was exhibited at BrickFair Virginia–-an annual LEGO convention—held in July and August.
 
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If you’re a fan of Fawlty Towers or even all things LEGO, then you might enjoy this little tribute video from a few years back.
 

 
H/T The Poke and Metro

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Cholafied: Celebrities as female Mexican gang members
08.26.2014
08:40 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Fashion

Tags:
photography
gangs
Cholafied


Cholafied Jay-Z.
 
Cholafied comes from the mind of Michael Jason Enriques, an LA kid who grew up in the 1990s.

It’s a throwback to the Chola gangster style: “Sharpied” eyebrows, dark lipliner, and the fumes from a can of Aqua Net.

It’s a product of LA where subculture, celebrity obsession, street art, and stupidity are rolled up together like one of those bacon wraped hot dogs sold on Hollywood Blvd.

See more of Michael’s “Cholafied” celebrities here.
 

‘Do you feel lucky, Chola?’: Clint Eastwood.
 

The Royal Chola Queen Elizabeth dos.
 

Chola Wonder Woman
 

Chola Mark Zuckerberg
 
More after the jump…
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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‘Dictator’ cat scratch posts and litter boxes
08.25.2014
10:38 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Politics

Tags:
Vladimir Putin
cats
Kim Jong-un


 
OMG! What a fantastical idea… ‘dictator’ kitteh scratching posts and litter boxes brought to you by The Pussycat Riot. (They aren’t all “dictators” per se, but more “strong men” types who censor the Internet.)

Sadly, the scratching posts are bit out of my price range. They’re selling ‘em for £4,500.00 a pop. I was eyeing that Putin one. According to their website each post was “painstakingly handcrafted by a team of artists and took over 200 hours to complete.”

But-but, never fear, as the litter boxes are only £3.00. Your cat might not be able to afford claw out Putin’s eyes, but practically any kitty from any socio economic group can take a shit on him, Kim Jong Un, Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Nicolás Maduro Moros of Venezuelan and Egypt President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi.


 

 

 

 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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