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That time Werner Herzog lost a bet and had to eat his shoe

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You’re only as good as your word. That’s what I was always told when I was young. Never say something unless you mean it. That was another. Both taught me that words had meaning, purpose, importance—their own intrinsic value—a kind of verbal contract.

(I believe you lovely Americans phrase it “Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash.”)

German film director Werner Herzog is a man of his word. You can trust him. You know if he says he is going to do something—well, hell, he’s going to do it. Or at least try his damnedest. And here’s the proof…

Sometime in the late 1970s, Werner Herzog made a bet with a young filmmaker named Errol Morris. Herzog said he would he eat his shoes if Morris ever got round to making a film. Herzog had listened to this young wannabe filmmaker go on and on and on about the kind of films he was going to make—one day. Of course he did, but no one knew that then. Anyway, somehow all Morris’s talk about his great big movie plans never seemed to come to fruition. It was this seeming lack of purpose that irked Herzog and led to his now legendary bet.

Herzog met Morris at Pacific Film Archive (PFA) on the University of California, Berkeley campus. Morris was studying philosophy but ditched it in order to spend time hanging out with all the other filmmakers congregating round the PFA. It was here Morris first met and became friends with Herzog.

Morris was movie buff—he particularly liked film noir. He also had a great interest in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho and the true exploits of killer Ed Gein upon which the film was based. Herzog shared this macabre interest.

In 1975, Morris and Herzog hatched a plan inspired by their joint fascination with Gein. The pair agreed to travel to Gein’s home in Plainfield, Wisconsin, where they would disinter the killer’s mother to find out if it was at all possible for Gein to have dug her up. Of course, being a man of his word, Herzog traveled to the location and waited patiently for Morris to arrive. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Morris was a no-show. This led Herzog to abandon their joint venture.
 
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Herzog on his way to eat his shoes.
 
In 1976, Herzog returned to Plainfield during filming of his movie Stroszek. Here he found Morris living in a small apartment next to Gein’s house. Morris had spent almost a year interviewing residents about the cannibal killer.

Herzog offered Morris work on his latest feature. He also gave Morris an envelope crammed with $2,000 in cash to go and finally start making a film. Morris rejected the money, tossing the envelope out of a window into a parking lot. Herzog went out to the lot, retrieved the money, and told Morris never to do that again. This time Morris took the money.

He used it to research a new film idea about a particularly “gruesome form of insurance fraud” where individuals have a limb amputated in an accident to claim megabucks insurance money. Morris visited “Nub City”—the place where all these fraudsters lived. But he gave up on the idea after receiving death threats. Instead, he decided to make another documentary, this time about a pet cemetery in Napa Valley. This was Gates of Heaven.

When Herzog heard Morris had given up on his amputation film and was now talking about some new idea about dead animals, he wagered Morris that he would eat his shoes if Gates of Heaven was ever made. Whether this was meant as a joke, or a bit of encouragement, or was in fact a genuine bet is a moot point: Herzog (as we know) is a man of his word. He made the bet. Morris had made his first film.

Now Herzog would eat his shoes.

Watch Werner Herzog eat his shoe, after the jump….

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
OMG, there’s a ‘fully functional’ vagina mask for sale (VERY NSFW)
09.29.2016
09:44 am

Topics:
Amusing
Fashion
Sex

Tags:


 
Every once in a while I accidentally get to that place on the Internet and stumble across something which I have no words for. Perfect example: This bizarre-looking vagina mask. There’s not too much information about it except that it’s handmade, “fully functional” and made of silicone. The mask is designed by San Diego-based artist Melissa Coulter on Etsy. It sells for $480 + shipping.

To be honest, it looks more like the Creature from the Black Lagoon or some weirdo alien from Doctor Who than actual ladyparts. But what would I know? 

Shouldn’t there be a matching, er, dickhead mask for couples who want to go trick or treating and have the police called on them?


 

 

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Man face swaps with classic album covers with hilariously surreal results
09.29.2016
08:36 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Face Swap


The Stooges
 
I was hesitant on blogging about this because the face swap stuff has kind of been over for a while now. We’ve blogged about people face-swapping with their own tattoos here on DM back in July. It seemed to have run its course.

However—and that’s a big HOWEVER in ALL CAPS—Tumblr ‘Record Cover Face Swap’ is damned hilarious. It’s just one dude who sports a beard and face swaps with classic album covers. The results are fucking funny. The longer you scroll his images, the funnier it gets.

Here’s a taste of ‘Record Cover Face Swap.’ These are my personal favorites. There are many more.


King Crimson
 

Gary Numan
 

DEVO
 

Loretta Lynn
 
More after the jump…

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Patti Smith on Bob Marley, comics, and opening her own pot cafe when she ‘grows up,’ back in 1976


‘The Two Faces of Patti Smith.’ photograph by Guillemette Barbet and art design by John Holmstrom.
 
Over the weekend I was yet again getting in some good quality time with my lovely copy of The Best of Punk Magazine and came across an amusing and highly entertaining interview by a musician and performer that undeniably embodies the word “hero” the multi-talented punk powerhouse Patti Smith.
 

 
In the interview that appeared in Punk (Volume One, Number Two from March of 1976) Smith agreed to talk to the magazine in the backroom of legendary Long Island club My Father’s Place where she sat on the grungy floor before her gig later that night. Of the many highlights and wide variety of topics covered in the lengthy chat include her love of comics, Bob Marley, her vivid dreams about Jimi Hendrix and her not-so-secret plan to hijack The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson (who Smith very much admired) and turn it into “totally stoned TV every night.” If you are at all a fan of Patti Smith (who was 30 at the time of this interview), prepare yourself to adore her even more. Here’s Smith on her love of two things that go great together—comics (or “comix” as Punk likes to spell it) and rock and roll:

I was a painter. All I cared about was art school and painting. I used to be an artist before I became an artist. You know the French love comic strips. Comix are considered art. Comix are art. I mean the only two arts—comix and rock n’ roll are the highest art forms.

If that last passage got you daydreaming about what it would be like lounging around with Patti Smith in France in some cafe reading comic books and while listening to Alain Kan belting out David Bowie’s “Life on Mars” then get in line. As the interview progresses Smith talks a fair amount about Bob Marley while lamenting the current “grass shortage” in New York (never forget!) and her dream of opening a pot cafe that pretty much sounds like the best plan ever:

I’m gonna have a cafe when I grow up where it’s just gonna feature coffee and dope and mint tea and great music. What I’m gonna do is work to legalize marijuana and hashish. We’re gonna start a string of cafes where you smoke, drink coffee and listen to great music—like McDonald’s.

More Patti Smith, after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
These adorable cartoons are dark as fuck
09.22.2016
01:36 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Art

Tags:
macabre humor


 
These cartoons are a bit like what you’d get if you combined Ziggy (already a bleak little production) and Eraserhead. The artist is Gypsie Raleigh, an artist and playwright who lives in Portland, Oregon. Earlier this year she published a novel called Soolie Beetch and the Dying Light.

Raleigh has said of her work:
 

Sometimes life leaves me speechless. When I fail to find the words, I try to find an image that can speak in my silence. My drawings have been inspired by everything from the deaths of people close to me, anxiety, and my own broken heart–to seeing an old bird cage or having a bad work day. I turned to art, because my parents raised me off grid in the Mount Hood Wilderness, and there wasn’t anything better to do. At the time, I was just sad that I didn’t have friends. Now, it’s a way of life.

 
Enjoy these ice-cold examples of macabre humor.
 

 

 
More Kafkaesque yuks after the jump…...

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
A Naked Alphabet: The Human Body as Typography (NSFW)

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To paraphrase L. P. Hartley: The 1970s is a foreign country: they do things differently there.

The sexual liberation that favored metropolitan areas in the 1960s spread across country during the seventies. Suddenly—or so it seemed—everybody was enjoying the “zipless fuck.” There were guide books offering useful tips on how to have a better sex life. Married couples were swinging. Nudity was celebrated. Porn was ubiquitous. Orgasms compulsory. Yet, it was still very much the male heterosexual eye that influenced everything.

In 1971, a small group of Dutch artists, photographers and graphic designers—Ed van der Elsken, Anna Beeke, Pieter Brattinga, Anthony Beeke, and Geert Kooiman captured this (newish) sexual freedom with a naked human alphabet—published in Avant Garde Magazine No.14: Belles Lettres. The letters were created using naked women—who lay, curled and bent into the appropriate shapes.

But this wasn’t just mere titillation—this artful display of female nudity was a protest “against the supposedly ‘dehumanising’ and thoroughly ‘indecipherable’ mechanistic alphabets.”

The typeface (in case you’re wondering) for these photographs is said to be Baskerville Old Face.
 
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More barenaked letters, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Those notorious naked Trump statues are starting to be released to the wild
09.22.2016
10:30 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Politics
U.S.A.!!!

Tags:
Trump


 
As Dangerous Minds—and pretty much every online source of news or cultural info—reported about a month ago, an edition of five utterly monstrous and hilarious statues of a nude Donald Trump, titled “The Emperor Has no Balls,” appeared all at once in five American cities, namely Los Angeles, Seattle, New York, San Francisco, and Cleveland. Most of those statues were seized by police almost immediately upon their discovery, and all of them are meeting very different fates.

Most notably, the City of Cleveland Heights has released its confiscated statue to the sculptor, Joshua “Ginger” Monroe, for a nominal impound fee of $110. Monroe got his start in haunted house design, has done work for Cirque de Soleil, and served as the director of Eli Roth’s now-defunct Goretorium in Las Vegas, his current city of residence. Cleveland boasts the distinction of being the only non-coastal city to host one of the original five, and it wasn’t chosen just because that city served as the venue for the RNC. There’s a more personal connection, as Monroe originally hails from the Cleveland suburb Garfield Heights, and he requested that one be placed in his hometown.

More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
John Deacon of Queen gets his palm read by a Japanese fortune-teller in 1977


Getting to know John Deacon with the help of Japanese fortune-teller Kiyoshibo Yasou in Music Life magazine (Japan), 1977. Larger resolution can be seen here.
 

“Since the left hand of the index finger is longer than the ring finger, will be successful and to work standing on top of the people.”

—Japanese fortune-teller Kiyoshibo Yasuo deciphering the hidden messages of John Deacon’s palm

 
A couple of weeks ago I posted about Japanese magazine Music Life and since that time I’ve continued to uncover some cool artifacts from the wildly popular vintage magazine such as this curious bit of strangeness—a somewhat clinical sounding dissection of Queen bassist John Deacon’s palm by a person the publication notes to be Japanese fortune-teller Kiyoshibo Yasou. A mysterious individual that I can find no reference for anywhere on the Internet outside of this odd little article from 1977.
 

 
Yasuo breaks down Deacon using an Astrological analysis, the process of Physiognomy (in which the evaluation of a person’s facial features is used to determine their personality type), a handwriting analysis and finally a deep-dive into Deacon’s palm to reveal his most innermost secrets. Of course when the excerpt from the magazine was translated into English using Google it produced a number of amusing, poorly translated revelations about the notoriously private Deacon that were strangely not terribly far from the truth. Such as this part of Deacon’s (a Leo by the way) astrological analysis:

Early success in life, is a lifetime of happiness. Romantic relationship too because it is (of his) masculine personality. Mote to women.

So because I’m deeply fascinated by this piece of rock and roll ephemera and a huge fan of the musical genius that is John Deacon I can tell you that Yasuo’s big reveal wasn’t that far off from reality. Deacon joined Queen when he was only nineteen-years-old which clearly equals “early success in life” by any reasonable standards. By the time he was 24 in 1975 he was already married to Veronica Tetzlaff and about to become a father for the first time after the devout Catholic become pregnant shortly after meeting Deacon at a disco. The couple has been married for 41 years have six children together which to many would be reflective of a “lifetime of happiness.”

I must say that overall I found Deacon’s amusing palm reading revealing as well as silly at times. Especially when it comes to the state of his gastrointestinal health and the skill of “standing on top of people” (included in the assessment of “Figure A” at the top of this post). Stay with me because here we go!

Figure B: the index finger and intelligence lines between the middle finger has stretched. This sweeping is the proof of good head.

Figure C: The horizontal line often is the lonely shop.

Figure D: Emotion line is divided for many present, one of them has been elongated. This is the person who sweeping have easy element becomes emotional. *(Analysis had been resting on another issue) * It does not have much thickness of the overall hand. Internal organs, care must be taken so easy especially break the gastrointestinal. It is not fatally bad phase, but as many fortune of something to struggling unfortunately.


More after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Holy Mashup Bat-fans!: What if Batman and The Joker got genetically spliced?

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Picture if you will a world where superheroes are genetically spliced with super villains to create freakish hybrids who deal justice and terror out in equal measure. A world where no good deed goes unpunished, and no evil unrewarded. Welcome to the world of BATMAN™: Rogues Gallery….

DC Comics Variant Play Arts KAI are producing a series of Batman action figures mashed-up with nefarious villains from the caped crusader’s rogues’ gallery. Earlier this year, a Batman and Two-Face combo was announced that featured a charred and scorched Harvey Dent (aka the coin flipping Two-Face) melded with Gotham’s finest crime fighter. Now a sneak peak of the next Batman mashup has just been released, this time featuring the Dark Knight and his most evil adversary—the Joker.

The Batman-Joker figure is dressed in a “tattered straitjacket is erratically adorned with dynamite, a flower, cans of pepper spray, and an alarm clock.”

Combined with his playing cards and a pistol with a flag as interchangeable parts, this ensemble shows the character’s madness, oozing from within.

The pale skin and bloodshot eyes accentuate his eerie quality, while his trademark purple and green lend dark shadows to his coloring. The bat mark roughly painted on his chest can almost be construed as a laughing mouth. It seems to make a mockery of Batman, offering a glimpse into how The Joker’s twisted mind ticks.

This collectible Batman/Joker figure goes on sale March 2017. The Batman/Two-FaceSquare-Enix.
 
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More Batman-Joker hi-jinks, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
A list of the dirtiest-sounding town names in America
09.21.2016
09:07 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
America


 
I can’t stop laughing at this list of the lewdest town names in America. I live in Ohio, so “Pee Pee Township” is the winner for me. But there’s also Wankers Corner, Oregon and Dickshooter, Idaho that give Pee Pee Township some stiff competition.

Now some of these names are merely dirty-sounding and not necessarily lewd. Still, they’re funny as hell and you gotta have some potty humor in you to enjoy them.

ALABAMA:  Ballplay, Boar Tush, Smut Eye

ALASKA:  Clam Gulch, Covenant Life, Manley Hot Springs, Mary’s Igloo, North Pole

ARIZONA:  Cyclopic, Kaka, Parker Strip, Show Low, Three Way

ARKANSAS:  Bald Knob, Biggers, Blue Ball, Boeuf, Corning, Flippin, Greasy Corner, Pea Ridge, Romance, Toad Suck, Weiner

CALIFORNIA:  Bush, Chubbuck, Clam Beach, Fort Dick, Hooker, Johnsondale, Johnsons, Old Fig Garden, Peters, Prunedale, Raisin City, Ragged Point, Ragtown, Rough and Ready, Shafter, Woody

COLORADO:  Atwood, Beaver Creek, Delores, Hotchkiss, Johnson Village, Lay, Loveland, Lubers, Slagger, Wetmore, Woodrow, Woody Creek

CONNECTICUT:  Happyland, Moosup, Seymour, Essex

DELAWARE
:  Blue Ball, Bunting, Cave Colony, Cocked Hat, Cowgills Corner, Hoars Addition, Midnight Thicket, Swallow Hill

FLORIDA:  Briny Breezes, Bunker Donation, Chattahoochee, Fluffy Landing, Miccosukee, Needmore, Wildwood
 
The rest of the list after the jump…

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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