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‘Nightmare Feddy,’ ‘Anna Montana’ and other Chinese import toy knock-off fails
07.29.2015
08:21 am

Topics:
Amusing
Pop Culture

Tags:
toys
Freddy Krueger
engrish


Photo via i-mockery.com
 
Several years ago I first became aware of “Nightmare Feddy,” a Chinese bootleg doll of Freddy Krueger from the popular A Nightmare on Elm Street horror franchise, and I’ve been laughing about him ever since. I’m not sure what it is specifically about the name “Nightmare Feddy” that I find so funny, but its one of those things that pops into my head from time to time and I just kind of start laughing to myself over it. “Nightmare Feddy.” It’s just so stupid.
 

Photo via i-mockery.com
 
Apparently I’m not the only person obsessed with “Feddy.” I’m no toy collector, but I’ve wanted one of these Chinese failure figures for years now—I’ve kept my eyes peeled for one in the wild, to no avail. They turn up regularly on eBay,  usually priced between $40 to $80. Yeah, I want this dumb conversation piece, but not forty bucks worth.

But still, just look at this stupid thing. Look at its shoes!
 

Photo via i-mockery.com
 
“Nightmare Feddy” might be a scarce, improbable collector’s item, but a trip to your local Dollar Tree will undoubtedly reveal shelves upon shelves of strangely-titled knock-off toys which are good for similar ESL laughs.

Here’s a treasury of Chinese toy knock-off fails:
 

Feddy’s cousin: “Monster”
 

“Spook Chasers”
 

“Anna Montana”
 
More Chinese toy fails after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Nuns Gone Wild: Vintage photos of sisters letting their habits down
07.28.2015
11:32 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief

Tags:
nuns


 
I went to an all-girls Catholic high school. Sadly, not once did I ever catch one of the nuns who taught at my school behaving “badly” or “out of character” for someone married to Christ, but boy do I wish I would have. These nuns gave detention left and right for the dumbest, most innocuous shit ever (like my socks being the wrong shade of blue or my skirt being 1/4 of an inch too short). The nuns had it out for my ass. I was convinced they were evil robots not nice ladies doing the Lord’s bidding.

Nuns still make me nervous to this very day…

So to my surprise, I found these vintage photos of nuns “letting their habits down” and even a few of them being slightly naughty a turning point in my appreciation for nuns: Apparently they’re not ruler-slapping robots after all. I could hang with some of these nuns!


 

 

 

 
More after the jump…
 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Kinky dollhouse furniture for your own tiny BDSM dungeon
07.28.2015
09:35 am

Topics:
Amusing
Sex

Tags:
BDSM
dollhouses

Miniature dollhouse bondage chair with handcuffs
Miniature dollhouse bondage chair with handcuffs

Super goth and miniature artist Jenny Nightfall is a UK based dollhouse furniture maker with a penchant for evil little things that definitely don’t belong in your daughter’s—or son’s, I don’t judge and neither should you—dollhouse.
 
Miniature Customised Mannequin dressed in a black latex skirt
Miniature customised mannequin dressed in a black latex skirt and choker

Of particular interest in Nightfall’s large collection of unusual items is her line of BDSM-themed dollhouse furniture. Made by hand using all kinds of materials including leather and latex, Nightfall’s kinky furniture is made at a 1/12 scale. And she DID NOT skimp on the details. For instance, her miniature bondage/fetish cabinet includes an assortment of tiny implements you would expect to find in any well stocked BDSM environment like leather paddles, whips, naughty books, handcuffs, a spreader bar, rope, candles, plugs, bondage hooks, a mask, a ball gag, erotic playing cards, spiked stiletto heels and much more.

Nightfall also has an extensive line of horror/goth/steampunk dollhouse furniture if that’s more your thing (and who knew this was a thing until now?). The BDSM pieces by Nightfall, which seem collectable on their own even if you don’t have a dollhouse, run from about $15 - $160 each.
 
Miniature dollhouse BDSM cabinet with many accessories
Miniature dollhouse BDSM cabinet and accessories
 
The contents of the drawers in the BDSM miniature cabinet
The contents of the drawers in the miniature BDSM cabinet
 
Miniature dollhouse BDSM cage with pink leather cushioning
Miniature dollhouse BDSM cage with pink leather cushioning and working door
 
Continues after the jump…

Posted by Cherrybomb | Leave a comment
Genius/bizarre/insane methods of beating the summer sun—Vietnam style
07.28.2015
06:52 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Vietnam


 
“Hot enough for ya?”

Vietnam’s steamy, humid summers are no joke, and the folks in these photos aren’t kidding around when it comes to using the nearest thing handy to beat the blistering sun. Particular favorites are the moped MacGuyvers with tree branches stuffed down their shirts for a little improvised shade.

Stay cool, Vietnam.


 

 
More summer cooling tips from Vietnam after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Emotionless guy on slingshot theme park ride set to Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘The Sound of Silence’
07.27.2015
02:02 pm

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Simon & Garfunkel
The Sound of Silence


 
I remember when this video went viral back in 2011. It’s of a young guy giving zero fucks while on a slingshot ride somewhere in Florida. Well, thanks to the Internet—where old memes and viral videos just won’t die—it’s reemerged again with a soundtrack of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence.”

The longer the video goes on—especially when the guy locks eyes with the camera—the more ridiculous it becomes. Stay with it.

 
via Geekologie

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Why aren’t people taking man who claims to have found a caterpillar with human face seriously?!
07.27.2015
10:57 am

Topics:
Amusing
Animals

Tags:
Caterpillars


 
No one is taking 69-year-old Robert Palmer—who claims to have found a caterpillar with a human-like face—seriously. According to reports, Toutle, Washington-based Palmer discovered the supposed human-faced caterpillar a few weeks ago on the side of a trough while giving his horse water. “My first thought was to crush it with my cane, then I thought, no, it looks so strange, I’m going to take a picture of it, ” said Palmer.

Palmer has done all the research that’s humanly possible to try to figure out exactly what kind of caterpillar he’s dealing with. “I’ve sent the picture to OMSI, the Portland Zoo, Fish & Wildlife, the Extension Service, The Master Gardeners. People either don’t respond or don’t know what kind it is. Some people aren’t taking this very seriously.”

Palmer says the photo he took is very real and very genuine.

I sent a picture to my grandson, he said ‘nice Photoshop grandpa’. I said I can’t even use my smart phone half the time, much less do some special computer effects. “I had to have the girls at the Shell station send the picture to the local TV station. He knows I wouldn’t lie about this,” said Palmer. The staff at Drew’s Shell in Toutle back him up.

Kay Hanke, who’s known Robert Palmer for over 50 years claims he’s no liar:

“It’s Bob, he wouldn’t lie about anything. He’s just really intrigued by what kind of caterpillar it is, and getting somebody to figure it out, that’s why he’s always talking about it.”

“One lady told me it looked like the devil” says Palmer, “I don’t want nothin’ to do with her if she’s actually seen the devil.”

Apparently Palmer tried like hell to keep the human-faced caterpillar alive, but sadly it died.

It seems obvious to me Palmer is dealing with a “Teddy Roosevelt caterpillar.” They’re a menace out here in Los Angeles.
 

 
via KATU and Arbroath

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Why I Deleted Your Band’s Promo Email’: How to ensure that your music is never heard
07.24.2015
07:26 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Why I deleted Your Band's Promo Email


 
I realize this could come off as the lamest kind of whining, but sometimes, having a job that gets you tons of free music isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, and I’ve had a few of them. It’s not that I dislike people sharing their work with me, to the contrary, that’s a huge plus. But obviously not everyone who reaches out is going to be any goddamn good, and you can’t possibly listen to everything that comes down the pike to sort out what’s what. This was a giant problem in college radio and underground rags in the early ‘90s—once the alterna-goldmine became overrun with prospectors and even indie labels were throwing everything at the wall they could, you had ten times as much music to sift through every week, but the proportion of garbage remained constant. (Sturgeon’s Law says 90%. Kretsch’s Law says 98% if you’re lucky.) So you had to figure out other ways of rooting out the bullshit, and press materials were and still are a surefire step one. After their photo (of course), a band’s influence list is always a great disqualifier—sometimes, with just a glance, you can already hear the bandwagon rounding the corner without even troubling yourself with a single song.

The internet only made things worse, from a certain point of view. On the artist side, yes, it’s absolutely fantastic that you can instantly and inexpensively get your work out to a potentially global audience without having to foot the costs of creating and shipping physical product. But from the listener side, that spells an insurmountable glut of available music, and the gatekeepers of the past, namely labels, radio, and media, remain key filters for a great many music fans who can’t spend all day on the hunt. And when you write about music, or book bands for clubs, you can find yourself submerged in unsolicited material from terrible hopefuls. That hasn’t been a problem in my time at Dangerous Minds; artists and publicists who reach out to us seem to understand what we’re all about, and that we almost never do straight reviews, so it’s extremely rare that I get much that’s wildly off the mark or totally horrid, but we’re kind of lucky here. I have a fair few pals who write for more general-interest music sites, and others who serve as concert venue talent-buyers, and they can get bombarded with musical crimes that would make mere mortals like you or me want to stab a motherfucker with a screwdriver.

And behold, someone on Tumblr gets it. The anonymous smartass behind “Why I Deleted Your Band’s Promo Email” is assembling a collection of the crucial lines in bands’ solicitations that all but force you to stop reading, because nothing that could follow will ever convince you that you’re not about to be enjoined to gargle a sonic cat turd. I’m having trouble putting my finger on what sector of the music industry this collector is involved in—the tone of a lot of these feels like they’re coming from strivers on the prowl for gigs, but some of them sound like they’re angling for record reviews; some feel like they were written by pros, others read like they were written by overconfident eighth-graders. Perhaps someday the person sharing these will reveal his or her identity, but until then, here’s an assortment of big red flags that the associated music is bad enough to make you hate all music.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Wot? Captain Sensible of the Damned tried to start a political party


 
The last quarter-century of political history is full of celebrity-led “get out the vote” initiatives (Rock the Vote, P. Diddy’s preposterous “VOTE OR DIE” campaign), and celebrities from outside the realm of politics recruited to goose the profiles of long-shot small parties (Howard Stern’s aborted flirtation with the Libertarian Party, Ralph Nader’s total destruction of the Green Party’s U.S. viability for probably a couple of generations), but notwithstanding satirical campaigns, non-politician notables actually attempting to launch new parties are much rarer.
 

This actually happened.

So I was amused to learn that founding Damned member Raymond “Captain Sensible” Burns attempted in earnest to form a political party in 2006. Calling it “The Blah! Party” (yes, the exclamation point was part of the name), Sensible endeavored to simultaneously galvanize protest votes and energize the disaffected, while taking public stances on matters like the proliferation of obesity, the imprisonment of non-violent offenders, public transport, renewable energy, and U.K. companies being bought out by international conglomerates. It was an ambitious undertaking, but Sensible had the help of a PR firm and—I’m not kidding—a potato chip company.
 

 

After all those exasperated rants from the stage during concerts over the years I have finally done the decent thing and started a political party with the aim of shaking up British politics.

My colleagues and I have named it the Blah! Party because this is what goes through your mind when you hear our great leaders spewing out the usual old garbage…. ‘45 minutes’, ‘WMD’, ‘faith schools’, ‘nhs reforms’, education education education’.... it’s enough to make to put a brick through the TV - so have put my money where my mouth is and decided to take on the vile frauds on their own turf.

The Blah! party is ridiculously easy to join via blahparty.org and once you’ve done that you can start firing off policy ideas as we are aiming to be the most representative and democratic party of ALL…... YOU will write our manifesto! Bearing in mind of course that as I am involved it will not tolerate racism, sexism or any other unpleasantness. We aim to be a NICE party, and although we are not adverse to having some fun along the way we ARE deadly serious about holding the current ghastly crop of political clones to account on your behalf for the nonsensical decisions they all too often make.

The more members we get - the harder it will be for them to ignore us…. and the possibilities really start opening up so if YOU TOO have had enough then get over to the Blah! website and let’s shake some action!

 
Continues after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Can ya dig it? Cabaret Voltaire’s insane version of Isaac Hayes’ ‘Theme from Shaft’
07.23.2015
06:13 am

Topics:
Amusing
Movies
Music

Tags:
Cabaret Voltaire


 
By forming in 1973, Cabaret Voltaire managed the neat trick of embodying and codifying many of the aesthetic tropes, sounds, and strategies of post-punk before punk existed in the first place, serving as an indisputable influence on both the industrial noise and industrial dance scenes. A 1981 break with founding member Chris Watson saw the band turn away from difficult-but-rewarding noise to embrace New Wave accessibility. Remaining original members Stephen Mallinder and Richard Kirk continued to make excellent records through 1985, but by 1987’s Code the band had been far surpassed by its own imitators, and soon they’d be nakedly trying to retain relevance by glomming on to acid house. Watson went on to work as a recording engineer and make strange music with the wonderful Hafler Trio, a project that long remained as archly experimental and fascinating as CV were in the beginning.

But before Watson left, and while CV were still about utter disregard for pop norms, they recorded a warped and delirious version of Isaac Hayes’ theme song from the film Shaft. Session details aren’t easy to come by, but it was recorded sometime during the Voice of America/Red Mecca era, 1980/81ish. It wasn’t released until 1988s excellent Eight Crepuscule Tracks compilation, which collected early CV work recorded for the Les Disques du Crépuscule label (“Twilight Records,” roughly), a still-extant Belgian imprint once associated with Factory Benelux.
 

 
The song indulges in some cheeky humor not typically associated with the often rather grim early industrial scene. It’s almost entirely built on samples, looping the song’s distinctive guitar intro, horn, and flute themes for just about ever, and piling snatches of film dialogue atop that bed, forecasting by almost a decade the short-lived House fad for novelty tracks built on movie dialogue samples. The result is at once ominous and darkly comical.

The remake was later included on the 1991 album Moving Soundtracks Volume 1, a terrific Crépuscule compilation of film music covers made by its associated artists. It’s hard to come by; the easier-to-find 2008 reissue, disappointingly, does not include “Theme from Shaft.”
 

 
For your enjoyment, Isaac Hayes’ indelible original after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Man drumming on plastic pipes wows crowd with Depeche Mode’s ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’ and ‘Popcorn’
07.22.2015
10:34 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Depeche Mode
Hot Butter
Popcorn


 
Here’s a video of one-man-band street performer located in Buenos Aires, Argentina flawlessly playing his homemade didgeridoo meets plastic pipe drums kit for an unusual rendition of Depeche Mode’s classic “Just Can’t Get Enough.” And then he plays something that sounds like Hot Butter’s “Popcorn” meets Grieg’s “In the Hall of the Mountain King” meets “Swamp Thing” by The Grid???

This dude is deep.
 

 
via WFMU on Twitter

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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