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Forensic artist reconstructs horrifying ‘happy face’ using a skull-shaped bottle of vodka


A couple of images taken by forensic artist Nigel Cockerton during his ‘facial reconstruction’ of a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka. 
 
Nigel Cockerton is a Scottish forensic artist with a Master’s degree in Forensic and Medical Art, whose services have been previously utilized by the FBI. Cockerton decided to have a little fun with a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka—a high-end party liquid put out by actor Dan Aykroyd that comes in a skull-shaped bottle. But since Cockerton’s job is to recreate the faces of people who have passed into the great beyond, he decided to bring the skull “back to life.” So to speak, of course.

In about a week, Cockerton reconstructed a “face” based on the Crystal Head bottle glass skull, and the results were not quite what anyone expected. Of course, nobody expected a forensic artist to take on such a task either so there’s that. Using his impressive skills, Cockerton built up the “face” of the skull with muscles, skin, and cartilage made of clay then added some fake hair. When he was finished the skull wore a frozen, exuberantly happy face—which Cockerton speculated belonged to a woman of European descent between the ages of 21 to 30.

The original decision to package the vodka in a glass skull was based on the strange folklore associated with the discovery of various “crystal skulls” that were believed to have originated in ancient Mesoamerica tens of thousands of years ago. This theory was later proven to be false by both the British Museum and the Smithsonian Institution who both placed the creation of the skulls somewhere in the middle or late 1800s. The British Museum was also able to determine that the geographical point of origin for the skulls was likely Germany. Now that I’ve cleared that up, it’s time to see the crystal skull that Cockerton gave a “face” to. The images that follow might be slightly NSFW.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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06.26.2017
10:52 am
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Blackboards in Porn: What do they write and is it correct?
06.26.2017
09:19 am
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Blackboards in Porn is an amusing blog dedicated to figuring out if the mathematical equations seen written on blackboards in classroom-themed pornos are accurate. The website actually breaks down the formulas for you!

Celebrating pornographers who go the extra mile when set dressing classroom porn and actually write something on the blackboard. What do they write, and is it correct?

The website is totally safe for work and what’s cool about it is you might actually learn something. I’m no math nut, so a few of these equations went over my head (no pun intended).

Here are a few condensed examples, below:


A-level standard trigonometry. Maths all correct. Good pluralisation of ‘formulae’. Neat handwriting. Loses a mark for ‘Tan’ instead of ‘tan’. But otherwise: excellent work!
9/10

 

This is a frustratingly inconsistent approach to writing chemical formulae. On the one hand the teacher has gone to the trouble of also using structural formulae to improve clarity (eg H2N2O2 could be nitramide, but the addition of HO-N=N-OH makes it clear that we are dealing with hyponitrous acid here), but then writes SI (sulphur iodine) instead of Si (silicon) in the formula for orthosilicic acid. This, combined with not using subscripts for many of the numbers, could lead to a great deal of confusion.

Whilst this lesson appears to be aimed at quite a high level, such elementary errors may affect comprehension.

5/10 - rather sloppy.
 

If the teacher is looking for a way to show how fun algebra can be by making words out of the symbols, she might instead try asking her students what the volume of a circular pizza of radius z and height a is.

2/10 A nice try in engaging students, but riddled with errors.

More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.26.2017
09:19 am
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‘Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse’: The Warlock Pinchers hate Moz, but love them some Satan


 
I first discovered the Warlock Pinchers while working at a record store in East LA. Buried among the piles of LPs that circulated through the store daily was what I personally consider to be one of my most treasured “finds”: the delightfully titled record, Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse. Nowadays, the lack of impulse record shopping doesn’t allow for much discoverability. I’m guilty of it, too—it’s much too easy to see an album that looks kinda cool staring back at you from the bin, but then to preview it online before you would consider buying. I guess that’s what happens as the $$$ sticker-shock for rarer records sets in. Needless to say, when someone wanted to sell off their copy of Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse, I have no choice but to blindly take the dive.
 

 
The Warlock Pinchers sound like a blend of Big Black, Butthole Surfers, and the Beastie Boys; all presented in a fury of adolescent shenanigans. The punk hip-hop pranksters and self-proclaimed “Official Sound of Satan” were the kind of people who enjoyed pissing off their fans—and if you weren’t a fan, then “fuck you!”
 

 
Sharing a record label with the Melvins, opening for the likes of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and once having had their record reviewed by Damon Albarn for NME, sadly the band did not pick up much steam outside of their hometown of Denver, Colorado. If anything, their alleged commitment to the devil was the one thing that helped give them some form of notoriety outside of their local scene, as if spraying flames around small clubs and giving their audiences muffins and pancakes wasn’t quite enough.
 

Blur reviews Warlock Pinchers at the NME office, 1991

Fire by Nite was a Christian youth variety program that operated out of Tulsa, Oklahoma in the late eighties. By presenting in a context of “relatable” youth material, the show oftentimes tackled highly controversial subjects that have plagued (or improved) the lives of many young Christians, namely drugs, sex, and the devil. “Satanism Unmasked” was a multi-part special that saw the “real-life” testimonies of self-confessed former Satanists like Mike Warnke (later disputed as a fraud) and Lauren Stratford (ditto), and hosted a bizarre conversation with convicted murderer, Sean Sellers. Slayer is spoken about briefly, but they are quickly dethroned as a bunch of charlatans; using the devil for their own shock-value appeal.

The highlight is the exposé of Warlock Pinchers, who dismiss Jesus as the real source of evil, in favor of Satan, “the good guy.”

Much more after the jump…

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Posted by Bennett Kogon
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06.23.2017
12:39 pm
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‘The Best of Times’: Bonkers TV pilot starring baby-faced versions of Nicolas Cage & Crispin Glover


Crispin Glover and Nicolas Cage react to the news that their failed television series from 1981, ‘The Best of Times’ is still kicking around out there on the Internet.
 
In 1981 both Nicolas Cage (who at the time was going by his real name “Nicholas Coppola”) and a baby-faced Crispin Glover both made their television acting debuts. However, the pilot, The Best of Times, only aired once before getting the boot from ABC.

I don’t want to ruin any of this for you, but if you haven’t seen The Best of Times—which was part musical, part teen drama, and part comedy—then clear your calendar for the next hour because you simply haven’t lived until you’ve seen an eighteen-year-old Nicolas Cage participating in a bizarre car wash sequence while his pals kick out a vanilla version of Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5.” In a pair of overalls with no shirt.

Your life is also a lie if you’ve never experienced the crazy that is Crispin Glover (who was also eighteen) having a spastic meltdown about the latest Talking Heads cassette tape. Adding to the weirdness, most of the actors on the show went by their own names and there’s something very strange about hearing Glover’s real mother Betty yelling at her boy Crispin throughout the episode. But that’s ALL I’m going to say because this totally golden television oddity that really must be seen to be believed.

PS: You’re welcome.
 

An image of Cage with another star of ‘The Best of Times’ actress and future scream queen, Jill Schoelen.
 
Watch it, after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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06.23.2017
11:00 am
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People are strange: ‘Deleted Wikipedia articles submitted by insane people’
06.22.2017
09:12 am
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Now I wouldn’t go so far as saying the folks who submitted these titles to Wikipedia were technically “insane”—that’s just the title of the YouTube video—but they are, however, very questionable.

I can see why a lot of these were deleted from Wikipedia. I mean, “Kids Raping and Singing” or “How to Trick People Into Thinking You’re a Wizard”? These are just a few of the freakishly-funny topics and titles that (apparently) real people came up with. I don’t want to ruin the video for you, just watch it. The longer it goes on, the funnier it gets.

People are strange.

 
via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.22.2017
09:12 am
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For Men Only: The clitoris. What it is. Where it is. What you should do with it when you find it
06.21.2017
12:26 pm
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Like many women, Canadian screenwriter and animation director Lori Malépart-Traversy seems to have gotten frustrated with the weird aura of ignorance surrounding what is after all the primary vehicle for female sexual pleasure. You may have heard of it: the clitoris.

She took matters into her own hands (stop!) and created this smashing three-minute animated movie about this sometimes misunderstood sexual organ, which is so goddamned adorable, it’s easy to forget that the content is pretty much X-rated.

(Even having said that, it’s difficult to imagine a group of ten-year-olds that would be substantially harmed by watching a short film as engaging, funny, and informative as this one. Chances are they’ve seen worse by that age.)

The movie is in French but there are helpful English subtitles. Frankly it’s pretty clear what’s going on—or at least it should be, your mileage may vary—even with no text at all. I have to admit that my life is improved by having the phrase “clitoral obscurantism” added to it. (Damn you, Freud!!)

One waits eagerly for the day when the utility of the clitoris and the importance of the female orgasm are acknowledged by all of humankind. In the meantime, watch this terrific video:
 

 

Posted by Martin Schneider
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06.21.2017
12:26 pm
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A gallery of hilariously creative letters from extremely pissed-off neighbors
06.21.2017
10:10 am
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I can totally relate to a few of these letters written by pissed-off people to their asshole neighbors. I’ve been there with a neighbor or two and I’ve considered doing this myself but I feel letters are a bit too passive aggressive and I rather say what I gotta say to someone’s face instead. That gets the job done.

That being said, sometimes a letter IS the way to go. I did find a few of these letters mildly amusing. Especially the image at the top of this post showcasing the brick shoes. Haven’t we all dealt with this scenario before?

Some News collected a pretty big gallery of these letters. I chose the ones I found the most amusing, but to see the rest, go here.


 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.21.2017
10:10 am
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‘Shocked’ Trump face, Nicolas Cage, luchador and many more WEIRD one-piece swimsuits
06.21.2017
08:15 am
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Donald Trump
 
Today is the first day of summer—even if every day tends to feel like summer anymore—so it seems appropriate to blog about these interesting one-piece bathing suits for women. Beloved Wear makes these suits and and believe it or not… they’re on sale! Each one will cost you just $49.95!

I can’t vouch for the quality as I’ve never shopped from this website before, but you’re probably 100% sure to turn a lot of heads if you sport one by the pool or at the beach. I can pretty much guarantee it.


Nicolas Cage
 

Luchador
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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06.21.2017
08:15 am
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Dream of Venus: Inside Salvador Dalí‘s spectacular & perverse Surrealist funhouse from 1939


The fabled entrance to the “Dream of Venus” pavilion created by Salvador Dalí for the World’s Fair in 1939.
 
Salvador Dalí was asked to create a pavilion for the World’s Fair to be held in Summer of 1939 in Flushing Meadow, Queens, NY. Given a canvas this big, as you might imagine, Dalí‘s concept for what was called “Dream of Venus” was just as over-the-top as the wildly eccentric Surrealist himself. In a letter written to his friend, Spanish filmmaker Luis Buñuel, Dalí reported that the pavilion would include “genuine explosive giraffes.” That never happened during the eight weeks it took to set up and construct what has been referred to as Dalí‘s “funhouse.”

The creation of the pavilion was the idea of noted architect, artist, and art collector, Ian Woodner. Woodner approached New York art dealer Julien Levy and together they quickly decided to give the gig to Dalí. As you entered the pavilion you had to pass between twin pillars that were fashioned in the image of female legs that were protruding from a skirt that had been pulled up above the knees. In various windows at the entrance, Dali placed a sculpture of a nude torso of a woman with another naked body of a woman in a window above who had a mermaid-like tail. There was also a large-scale image of Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus.” Dalí had intended to remove the head of the goddess and replace it with a fish head. This was one of many conceptual ideas the artist had intended to incorporate into the pavilion that was soundly rejected by the Fair’s organizers and sponsors. Dalí was so incensed by the Fair’s requests for alterations to his fever-dream funhouse that he wrote a pamphlet called “Declaration of the Independence of the Imagination and the Rights of Man to His Own Madness.” The pamphlet condemned the Fair’s censorship of his work and with the help of a pilot and an airplane, he had copies of it dropped from the sky all over New York City.

Here’s a bit from Dalí‘s “fuck you squares” manifesto which you can read in its entirety here:

“Only the violence and duration of your hardened dream can resist the hideous mechanical civilization that is your enemy, that is also the enemy of the ‘..pleasure-principle’ of all men. It is man’s right to love women with the ecstatic heads of fish.”

 
Once visitors got inside “Dream of Venus” things got fantastically freaky. Two huge swimming pools featured partially nude models floating around in the water. In one of the pools, a woman dressed in a head-to-toe rubber suit that had been painted with piano keys cavorted around with other “mermaids” who “played” her imaginary piano. In fact, the place was filled with scantly-clad women lying in beds or perched on top of a taxi being driven by a female looking S&M batwoman. There were functional telephones made of rubber as well as an offputting life-size version of a cow’s udder that you could touch—if you wanted to, that is. Dalí had originally intended for all of his female models (his “living liquid ladies”) to have fish heads, but this was yet another one of the artist’s visions for the pavilion that was spit on by Fair’s sponsors. What a drag. Despite all the push back, “Dream of Venus” is nothing short of a stunning display of touristy fun gone off the rails. I’ve posted images of the funhouse-style pavilion below, many of which were taken by German-born photographer Eric Schaal. The 2002 book, Salvador Dalí‘s Dream of Venus: The Surrealist Funhouse from the 1939 World’s Fair chronicled the entire process down to the very last detail in photos including behind-the-scenes snapshots of some of Dalí‘s models getting ready to give the performance of their lives. Most of the images that follow are NSFW.
 

Dalí and his wife and muse, Gala.
 

 
More Dalinian madness at the 1939 World Fair, after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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06.20.2017
10:44 am
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‘K’ is for ‘kilogram’: Pictures from a grim, reality-based ABC book for adults
06.16.2017
10:38 am
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A page from illustrator Toby Leigh’s upcoming book ‘ABC For Adults.’
 
The work of oddball London-based illustrator Toby Leigh was in part inspired by his discovery of the deviant stylings of comic book hero Robert Crumb whom Leigh became aware of at a very young age. I’ve always been a huge supporter of starting kids young when it comes to the good stuff in life like hipping them to the finer things—and the art of Mr. Crumb should always be considered “good stuff.” For instance, my Dad turned me on to Ralph Steadman when I was a kid and whenever I get to write about Steadman or his larger-than-life muse Hunter S. Thompson, I thank my Dad. For the soon-to-be-published book, ABC For Adults Leigh revisited his own childhood after finding an ABC book that he once owned as a kid in an antique shop in Wiltshire.

Leigh’s illustrations and use of soft, appealing color schemes borrow from the vintage pages of Little Golden Books. In a rather brilliant and nefarious move, instead of substituting blatant adult-oriented words (you know like “F is for fuck” or “V is for Vagina”), Leigh used mostly toddler-level words in the book accompanied by corresponding illustrations. Like an image of a balding, white-haired man clutching his chest for the letter “H” and it’s alphabet word “heart.” According to Leigh, when he presented his finished work to potential publishers, two of them requested that he tone down a few of his illustrations. Leigh heroically refused and is currently using the crowdfunded publishing tool Unbound to raise the funds to put the book out, which should be seeing the light of day sometime in July in the UK and shortly thereafter in the U.S. For a pledge of $20 bucks (plus shipping) you can get your very own hardbound copy, with your name on the back cover which seems like the makings of a very cool family heirloom to me. I’ve posted some images of Leigh’s hardcore ABC’s below, a few of which are slightly NSFW.
 

One of the illustrations from Leigh’s book that potential publishers urged him to tone down.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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06.16.2017
10:38 am
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