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Jesus appears in the Aurora Borealis
01.16.2015
10:20 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Jesus Christ
Aurora Borealis

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What appears to some to be the figure of Jesus Christ has been spotted in the Northern Lights over Iceland.

Local headmaster Jón Hilmarsson was encouraged to photograph the glow-in-the-dark Jesus by his ten-year-old son. The image captured is said to have “an uncanny resemblance” to the Art Deco Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Mr. Hilmarsson told Metro newspaper:

‘This was the most beautiful and vivid northern light display I have ever seen. We usually see green auroras but that night I saw bright green, red and purple colour, which is very unusual. Many people see the shape of Christ but also an angel formation.’

If you look closely, screw your eyes up and turn your head to 45 degrees you’ll see… ah fuck it.. it’s just the Aurora Borealis. Come on!
 
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H/T Metro.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Think ‘Kokomo’ is the Beach Boys’ worst single? THINK AGAIN.
01.16.2015
07:59 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Beach Boys


 
It was really only a couple of years, from the zeitgeist-altering success of Saturday Night Fever to the notorious Comiskey Park Disco Demolition‘s galvanizing of backlash, that disco was overwhelmingly pre-eminent in pop culture, but for those two years, my god, it was assertive. It seemed like pretty much every above-ground musical and nonmusical artist had to somehow nod to disco, whether or not that artist had even the slightest prior obeisance to the dance floor. Popular artists of all stripes, from punk prime movers Blondie, to blues-steeped British Invasion-era stalwarts like the Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart, to country rockers the Eagles, to metal’s most brazen buck-chasers Kiss, all released disco songs, or at least adopted disco’s production strategies. And then by 1980 it was like it never happened, though of course, if there was ever indeed a “battle” for the charts between disco and rock, rock’s “victory” was definitely pyrrhic, as today’s pop radio norms are much deeper in disco’s debt.
 

 
That resolute fad had plenty of absurd expressions, some of them actually really funny in hindsight. One truly baffling example was when, in 1979, the goddamn BEACH BOYS of all bands capitulated, releasing the shamelessly pandering 12” single “Here Comes The Night (Remix).” Produced by band member Bruce Johnston for their preposterous last-ditch attempt at late ‘70s relevance L.A. (Light Album), it clocks in at over ten minutes. To be exact, it’s a 10:42 litany of unexceptional four-to-the-floor beats and kitchen-sinked disco tropes that have almost nothing to do with the original song, which appeared on the Beach Boys’ middling 1967 album Wild Honey. Here’s that original:
 

 
FAR from their best work, but not utterly terrible. Like its predecessor Smiley Smile, Wild Honey was conceived and released in the immediate aftermath of the implosion of SMiLE, and though it’s enjoyable enough, the band’s failure to follow up Pet Sounds with anything of like quality left their rep in the crapper, so sales were poor. One can only guess as to why “Night” was the song they decided to disco up. Maybe it was because the let’s-fuck lyrical content fit with disco’s hedonistic character? It just seems like it would have made more sense, since they were pandering for sales anyway, to remix a song that had been popular in the first place. It didn’t even work. L.A. was poorly received, and from there the Beach Boys began their descent into Mike Love’s traveling no$talgia act. I will say this for “Night,” though: it may be the one Beach Boys song to feature a vocoder, and of that, I vigorously approve.
 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds
‘The Ethel Merman Disco Album’
Disco-tastic Italian Beatles medley from 1978 will melt your brain!
Worst Led Zeppelin cover of all time? Disco duo Blonde On Blonde cover ‘Whole Lotta Love,’ 1979

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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The bronies are building an army: Check out this collection of My Little Pony-themed guns
01.16.2015
07:47 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
guns
My Little Pony
bronies


Rainbow Dash AK-47
 
I’m actually not all that put off by broniesin theory. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that dudes in dresses make up a significant portion of my night-life acquaintances, but the idea of grown men embracing something originally marketed to little girls seems kind of progressive, right? I can’t say I claim to totally understand the appeal (the animation and story line is not to my taste—I’ve tried watching), but from what I’ve seen and read of brony convention footage, it looks like a relatively diverse group. Some are a little ironic about their pony-love, some seem to be into fandom in general and quite a few are open about being on the autism spectrum—I suspect the highly interpersonal plot lines could be reassuring (or even informative) for someone who has trouble reading social cues and interacting with a group. There must be legitimate reasons for My Little Pony’s appeal, even if it leaves me cold, personally.

But to be perfectly honest, once your fandom starts making its way into your armory, my open-mindedness becomes… strained. I mean, it’s creepy, right? They’re guns! Why would you want a My Little Pony gun?!? Guns are absolutely counter-intuitive to the My Little Pony ethos—it’s called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” not “My Little Pony: Killing Machines are Pretty Fuckin’ Great!” The most disturbing thing is how many actual people have modded their guns in some way to reflect their fandom. What you see below is only a tiny sample of the Pony-themed firearms I’ve found. Dear god… are the bronies building an army!?! Heaven help us…
 

Little Macintosh .44 Colt Annoconda [sic] (Applejack)
 

Fluttershy SKS
 

Applejack double barrel shotgun

Derpy Hooves MP 18
 

Rainbow Dash FN FAL
 

Rainbow Dash M1911 #1 Springfield Operator
 
More after the jump…
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Have sex and lose weight at the same time with Sexercise
01.16.2015
06:44 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music
Sex

Tags:
fitness
exercise

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For couples who want to shed a few extra pounds without getting out of bed there’s a new “rhythm method” of love-making which will help them “work up a sweat between the sheets.”

The UK’s second largest health and beauty retailer Superdug has just released a free download of a 22-minute track called “Sexercise” that is intended “for couples looking to get athletic in the bedroom.”

The track was produced by a group of fitness experts who analyzed the sex lives of 2,000 British couples and discovered the average length of a UK sex session was 22minutes 48seconds. With this in mind they created a track full of changes in tempo and beat intended to encourage couple’s fat-burning love-making sessions. The track has a “warm-up” intro for foreplay before gradually increasing the beat for an explosive climax.

An average love-making session can burn up 101 calories in men and 69 calories in women, and is a lot more fun than going to the gym.

At the launch of “Sexercise” head of retail health at Superdrug Cari Newson said:

“Over the years, the many health benefits of sex have been well documented, from beating stress and relieving pain, to bringing couples together and boosting confidence, as well as, of course, as a form of aerobic exercise.

“We commissioned this track as a fun way to show the health benefits an energetic love making session can have. It’s an easy way for couples to incorporate exercise into their daily routine, but just remember to always practice safe sex.

“Whether it’s advice on sexual health, family planning or weight management, our in-store healthcare experts at Superdrug are available to offer free advice to help customers with their health and wellbeing goals in 2015.”

If this floats your boat then you can download the track here.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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World leaders sitting on the toilet

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Bringing world leaders down their basic bodily functions Their Daily Duty is a series of photomontages by digital artist Cristina Guggeri. The images present imagined intimate moments of President Obama, President Putin, Her Majesty the Queen and even Pope Francis and the Dalai Lama, all seated on the toilet performing their own “daily duty.”

Cristina (aka Kyrdy) made the images in collaboration with Area Shoot, and while they certainly rub our nose in our shared human frailty, they are also a reminder to the “sitters” of their moral responsibility in governance and leadership.

More of Cristina’s work can be found here.
 
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More leaders on the throne, after the jump….
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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The Fox News Color Chart, apparently
01.14.2015
02:35 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Television

Tags:
Fox News
racism

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This Fox News Color Chart helps elderly viewers and Fox News “journalists” alike calibrate who’s a terrorist and who is George Hamilton.

Odd that there’s no indicator for John Boehner…
 
Via Bipartisan Report.

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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Happy Mondays’ Bez, now a politician, forgets to register his ‘Reality Party’

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Bez the talismanic dancer from the Happy Mondays launched the Reality Party on Monday and announced his intention to stand as a representative for the party at the UK’s parliamentary elections in May. Bez is running on a platform of “free energy, free food and free anything.”

The perpetually bankrupt Celebrity Big Brother contestant (real name Mark Berry) is hoping to be elected to the Salford and Eccles constituency in Greater Manchester—the seat of former Labour cabinet minister Hazel Blears who is standing down.

The Reality Party is a new political party founded in 2014, and this is the first time it will take part in a general election.

On Monday, under a billboard bearing the slogan “It’s Real – It’s Your Reality,” Bez announced his candidature, standing on an anti-fracking ticket. Bez says he wants to “create a permaculture society,” and his election manifesto includes plans for a zero carbon economy, an end to tax breaks for big business, more nationalisation, bee hives in every school, glow-in-the-dark roads and hemp to be grown on Salford’s Chat Moss. Bez is one of three candidates representing the Reality Party in the election.
 
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However, as the Independent newspaper reports, Bez has one major problem—the Reality Party is not registered with the Electoral Commission. In fact, the party was “deregistered” on the very day Bez launched his campaign.

According to the Independent, the regulator for the Electoral Commisison wrote Bez “several times” informing him that the Reality Party would be removed from the register as its name was too close to that of the Realist Party. Under the Commission’s rules there cannot be “two parties similarly named” as it may cause confusion with the electorate.

Bez was given until 12th January to register a different name for his party but failed to get back to the Commission:

The Independent has discovered that Bez, along with two other Reality Party members hoping to become MPs, will in fact never be able to stand in any election under that name.

A spokesman for the Electoral Commission said: “Following a review conducted last year, we contacted ‘The Reality Party’ on two occasions to tell them the party name they had registered, if seen on a ballot paper at a General Election, could mislead voters.

“We recommended what they could do to address this and whilst the party indicated that it was looking at ways to alter its name with the Commission, it did not submit a revised name before our 12 January deadline and so was removed from the register of political parties.”

However, it’s not all doom and gloom for Bez and his fellow Reality Party candidates—Nigel Askew, a pub landlord is standing in South Thanet against Ukip leader Nigel Farage, and Jackie Anderson, “who is listed as the ‘west Salford and Eccles’ candidate, although the constituency does not exist anymore”—as a Commission spokesman said:

“There’s still time for the [Reality] party to submit a revised name to the Commission before candidates who want to stand for a party have to submit their nominations papers to Acting Returning Officers with the name of the registered party they are standing for.”

Which means Bez and co. could still stand for election but not under the name of the Reality Party.
 

 
Via the Independent.

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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‘Playgirl on the Air’: Unintentionally hilarious 1984 ‘video magazine’ for the ladies
01.13.2015
02:47 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Sex

Tags:
Playgirl


 
Despite its lad mag namesake, Playgirl magazine was founded entirely independently of Hef and his bunnies. In fact, the publication’s original target audience was second-wave feminists, those liberated ladies of the early 1970s that founder Doug Lambert believed were aching for the corniest kind of equality: pictures of naked “himbos” in between articles on abortion rights and Bella Abzug! Of course, Playgirl never really took off the way its counterpart did. The magazine is still going as a quarterly, but it has always circulated as much if not more so among gay men than women, who perhaps prefer their porn a little more subtle and discreet, and their lifestyle magazines a little less hokey.

Nonetheless, Playgirl has left us with some absolute treasures in its attempts to capitalize off of the modern woman, and you need only to watch this 1984 “video magazine”—again, an attempt to emulate similar projects by Playboy—to be reassured of its entertainment value. In another flailing attempt to brand the liberated lady lifestyle, the video combines on-the-street interviews, fashion/lifestyle editorial-style shorts, political segments and yes, fabulously corny softcore. Probably not SFW—there’s no frontal nudity, but you might die of shame.

Celeb appearances include Mark Harmon (who was then a big deal on St. Elsewhere), centerfold Steve Scott (later porn star Mark Davis), and even Geraldine Ferraro and future San Francisco mayor Willie Brown!
 

 
Via Network Awesome

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Enrage your enemies by sending them an envelope full of glitter
01.13.2015
10:35 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
pranks
glitter


 
An Australian company going by the name Ship Your Enemies Glitter is offering to ... do I even have to finish this sentence? Wait, here: “So pay us money, provide an address anywhere in the world & we’ll send them so much glitter in an envelope that they’ll be finding that shit everywhere for weeks.”

The cost is $9.99 in Australian dollars, which is the equivalent of $8.14 in U.S. dollars. They refer to glitter as “the herpes of the craft world” because once the recipient opens the envelope then it will take forever to get the glitter out of every orifice, carpet, cushioned piece of furniture, plate of shrimp, etc. Of course if you’re not a complete fucking idiot you’ll open the envelope carefully and make sure not to get the glitter anywhere.

Here’s their rude FAQ section:
 

Is this for real?
Yes, you fucking idiot. We spent too much time, money & resources putting this shit hole of a website up to not get paid for it.

How does it work?
Click the buy button. Decide whose day you want to ruin & then enter their address.

What happens after I give you my money?
We’ll vomit up a tonne of glitter & put it in an envelope with your recipients address on the front of it. We’ll also include a note telling them how awful they are which will be folded within.

Will the recipient know who sent the glitter?
Not unless you open your mouth.

My recipient got glitter in both eyeballs, is now blind & would like to file charges. Help?
Heh.

How much does it cost?
$9.99AUD for anywhere in the world. Come on, it’s Australian Dollars so it’s probably only a few bucks for you.

Why should I pay you to send glitter to someone I hate?
First off, use your fucking imagination. We’re going to be pouring a tonne of glitter into an envelope with a folded up piece of paper. You know what’s going to happen when that fuckface opens the envelope & pulls out the letter? The craft herpes will be released & will go everywhere.

Why are you so obsessed with glitter?
Go fuck yourself.

 

 
Thanks to Genna Petrolla!

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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The Swedes have an unusual way of teaching kids about sex, don’t they?

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Meet Snoppen and Snippan, they’re Internet sensations.

It’s easy to see why this charming little children’s animation from Sweden has become such a massive hit there. It’s obviously the bright colors, the rather catchy tune that will have you singing along in a minute or two…and the…er…jolly bouncy characters who look very..er..well, very happy with each other. It’s all very Swedish.

Apparently, this is one way that Swedes teach their children all about the facts of life—through the animated characters “Willie” (Snoppen) and his very close friend Snippan—which are apparently slang words for something or another. This gloriously surreal cartoon comes from the hit children’s TV show Bacillakuten, and that earworm of a song tells how Willie is “full of pace” and Snippan is “really cool, you better believe it, even on an old lady. It just sits there so elegantly.” Okay, the scansion may be a bit off, but I think we all get the idea.

YouTube originally made this an “adult only” video before reversing themselves on that. Still, if they tried something like this on Sesame Street, the responsible party would probably be imprisoned. Gotta love those free lovin’ Swedes!
 

 
Via Nyheter24.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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