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‘Poop Corn’ hand and body soap
03.17.2015
08:55 am

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Amusing

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Poop Corn


 
After I blogged about the life-sized model of Bishop from Aliens, I started to poke around the Etsy shop that is selling it. Not only does Florida-based artist Neil Goldsmith make awesome life-like models, he also has a knack for making life-like “Poop Corn” hand and body soap. Why not, right? We’ve all been there after eating corn. Don’t lie.

No, it doesn’t smell like the real thing. It has a refreshing scent called energy, which is one of my favorites.

The soap design is hand sculpted and molded in silicone. Each bar of soap is then created individually by hand and allowed to cure.

The soap is made from a coconut oil and glycerin base.

Energy???

People really seem to dig this… shit, too. Here are some of the five star reviews of the, er, soap:

  • “Smell is great and very moisturizing! Shipped promptly.”
  • “Exactly what I expected and it smelled great =]”
  • “My nephews are going to love this! Shipped quickly and packaged well.”
  • “Nice scent.”
  • “Was a big hit with my son and his dad! Thank you!”

The “Poop Corn” is reasonably priced at just $6.00 per turd.

As a side note: Each soap is individually made, so color may vary.

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Scream Queen Linnea Quigley’s ‘Horror Workout’
03.17.2015
07:21 am

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Amusing
Sex

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While she probably remains best known as “Trash,” the naked grave-dancer turned naked punkette zombie in Return of the Living Dead, Linnea Quigley has carved out a long, noteworthy, and still active career in cheap horror films and videos. IMDB lists 135 acting credits, plus over 40 “as herself” appearances. One of the latter was the preposterous 1990 Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout, an insane piece of work which simultaneously parodied z-grade slasher flicks and those “workout” videos of the period that were really just blatant cheesecake (remember “20 Minute Workout”?), at the same time as actually BEING a z-grade slasher flick and a workout-as-cheesecake video. I’ll let the IMDB plot summary do the talking for a moment:

After a nice shower, Linnea does some warm-up stretches and then goes for a run. She encounters some flabby zombies who follow her back to the house, where she leads them in some poolside aerobic routines. Later she unwinds by inviting some girlfriends over for a slumber party and some exercise. When something goes bump in the house, her friends begin experiencing an attrition problem.

 
More after the jump… if you dare!

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Your new favorite anthem: ‘I’m Fuck, Punk You’
03.16.2015
01:04 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music
Punk

Tags:
Orgaaklap


 
Here’s 40 seconds of the most important anthem you’re going to hear today: “I’m Fuck, Punk You.” The gentleman seems angry and wants to get his word(s) out.

I have no idea what the hell is going on here or even why this short video exists. But it does, so I feel that I must share it with you.

The name of band is Orgaanklap. There’s an iTunes link on the YouTube page if you want to download it.

 
via Coilhouse on Facebook

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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‘Dazzle Dancin’: Your new favorite best/worst 80’s white people dance video
03.16.2015
05:38 am

Topics:
Amusing
Dance

Tags:
white people
Rick Dees


 
A few years ago I was grabbing stacks of tapes at a video store liquidation sale and managed to stumble upon what would become one of the best single-dollar purchases I’ve ever made. Straight out of the “special interest” section, and directly into your brain, comes Dazzle Dancin’, a direct-to-VHS, cocaine-fueled nightmare of ultra-stiff moves hosted by an out-of-touch, middle-aged, creeposaur. Dazzle Dancin’, as an artifact, is simultaneously dated and timeless.
 

 
In 1984 some genius director hired goofball moron DJ, Rick Dees, of “Disco Duck” fame, to host what is quite possibly the worst instructional dance program ever committed to videotape. Never mind the fact that Dees obviously has no rhythm or dancing ability whatsoever, he’ll certainly be able to carry the show on his winning charisma alone, right? Right?
 

 
Dazzle Dancin’ was to be the first in a series that never made it past the pilot, and you’ll see why. In 1984, it would have been tough to go wrong with a vehicle cashing in on the success of MTV, break-dancing, and Flashdance, but Dazzle Dancin’ manages to get it as wrong as you possibly can.

Despite a diverse cast, the moves in Dazzle Dancin’ are painfully white. Rick Dees’ lone dance move is a sort of disinterested sway that seems to be his go-to, whether he’s learning about “breaking” or “punkin’” or “The ET”—which has to be seen to be believed.

In one segment, Dees meets a group of kids outside of the club who teach him about “street dancing” and perform a (terrible) rap, which inspires the ol’ Rickster to do some “rapping” of his own when he gets back inside the club. Let’s just say rapping is even less of a strong-suit than his dancing.
 

 
Dees has some really bad non-sequitur one-liners in this thing like “hurt me baby, make me write bad checks,” and “I wish I could talk like that guy on the street but I think I spent too much time on the freeway,” (???) and can we talk about that Chess King close-out shirt he’s wearing? Too much.

Intrigued? Of course you are, watch Dazzle Dancin after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Discussion
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People testing out a beer / weed bong
03.13.2015
10:30 am

Topics:
Amusing
Drugs

Tags:
weed
bongs
beer


 
Here’s a video montage of New Yorkers trying out a weed / beer bong for the very first time. I honestly don’t see how this could be a good time. Alcohol and weed never work well together, IMO. It’s one or the other for me. Never both. My experience mixing them together was immediate dizzying regret and suffering a serious case of the spins. I do not recommend it.

But clearly these intrepid folks aren’t gonna let me be a buzzkill… check ‘em out.

 
via BuzzFeed

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Morpheus from ‘The Matrix’ offers you the red pill or the blue pill at bathroom sink
03.12.2015
09:47 am

Topics:
Amusing
Drugs
Movies

Tags:
The Matrix


 
Some clever son of a gun came up with a Morpheus (decal?) offering up the red or blue pill option at a bathroom sink. Now clearly, the only way this would work is if your faucets had the hot and cold water indicators on them. That being said, I’m sure you could glue some on to make this a thing of reality in your own personal sink or bathtub.

I can’t find anywhere on the Internet if this specific Morpheus (decal?) is for sale. But I’m sure you could make one of those, too. 

via Geekologie

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Frank Zappa’s cover of ‘Stairway to Heaven’
03.12.2015
06:53 am

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Amusing
Music

Tags:
Frank Zappa
Stairway to Heaven


 
Frank Zappa put together a formidable band in 1988, for what became his last tour; he later called it the best band he’d ever taken on the road. Zappa told an interviewer from Guitarist Magazine:

[The band] was unique because it combined a very strong five-piece horn section with all kinds of electronic stuff, with effects on the percussion section, on the drums, multiple keyboards—a very interesting blend of this horn harmony and very strange sound effects. [...] All those little effects and things coming in, that’s just the way it was on the live show. We had three stations generating samples; there was Ed Mann, who had this whole vocabulary of dog barks and bubbles and weird shit, then there was Chad Wackerman who had all these strange percussion things hooked up to a big rig, and then there was the synclavier, which I could play when I wasn’t playing the guitar.

Before the band dissolved in mutiny, it performed enough to generate material for three albums (two of them doubles): The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life, Make a Jazz Noise Here, and Broadway the Hard Way.

The sets included, in Zappa’s words, “deranged versions of cover tunes”: the band played “I Am The Walrus,” the theme from The Godfather Part II, “Purple Haze,” Boléro, “Sunshine of Your Love,” and “Ring of Fire.” My favorite of these is Zappa’s take on “Stairway to Heaven,” sung by the peerless Ike Willis. It’s like listening to Spike Jones—the band performs a meticulous arrangement of the song, down to the horn section reproducing Jimmy Page’s solo at the end, but comments on the lyrics at the end of every line with a gag sample. If you share my appetite for this flavor of broad shtick, listen for the “songbird who sings” and the forests echoing with laughter. You’ll never hear the original the same way again.
 

Zappa: “Yes, once upon a time, live musicians actually sang and played this.”

The 1988 band’s full concert in Barcelona is up at YouTube.

Posted by Oliver Hall | Discussion
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Your sext messages, brought to life by acclaimed indie filmmaker
03.12.2015
06:50 am

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Amusing
Movies
Sex

Tags:
sendmeyoursexts.com


 
Eileen Yaghoobian, the director of the acclaimed rock poster documentary Died Young Stayed Pretty, has embarked on a project to adapt couples’ sext messages, for a fee, into scripts for short films. She’s established the website sendmeyoursexts.com to reach out to potential “screenwriters” and show off the results.

I’m Eileen, a filmmaker and artist who’s convinced that your dirty messages should be my next script. So I decided to create a service that turns your real sexts into on screen action. Think your phone could inspire a good web series? Ever wanted to be a screenwriter? You already are… but only if you’re brave enough to send me your sexts. It can be anonymous, but it still takes some moxie.

How it works

1. Screen shot some of your sexts. Scroll way back and send me the steamiest, silliest or most shocking ones you can.
2. Upload them here and check out using the form. Just $80 will get you up to 6 minutes of video shot professionally with cast.
3. Watch them come to life. You’ll get an e-mail with a link to the video when it’s ready.

Only $80? That seems a low fee—I can’t imagine that’s even enough to pay the actors.
 

 

 
The videos are audacious and often hilarious. They don’t contain any graphic sex, or even any nudity—how creative would that be anyway?—but some of them are really right on the edge, so I hope I shouldn’t even have to tell you they’re still far from work-safe due to suggestive situations and frank language (and some dry-humping). As Yaghoobian herself said in a recent Vice interview:

Everything is porn now. I don’t think there are enough websites out there that are sexy but not necessarily porn. But then again, I don’t have a problem with someone getting turned on when watching this. And even better, cause [the actors] aren’t naked! There isn’t a close-up macro-dick, or balls or ass or whatever. For me, what turns me on is great sex. For example, in Don’t Look Now, which is one of my favourite films, the sex scene is incredible! Better than any porn movie you’ll ever see. It’s so inspiring. I got the actors to look at that scene over and over again for Dylan and Kacey because it’s the best sex scene ever. And I want to get there.

 

 
More sexts brought to life after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Akron police seek ‘Bowel Movement Bandit,’ serial car defecator
03.11.2015
01:23 pm

Topics:
Amusing
U.S.A.!!!

Tags:
Ohio
Akron
Bowel Movement Bandit


 
Oh, Northeast Ohio, I love you. Akron police are seeking a man now dubbed, probably by some rubbish local news program, the “Bowel Movement Bandit,” suspected of having shat on as many as nineteen cars parked in residential driveways. But police have an excellent lead—the gentleman caller has been clearly photographed red-assed in the act of Cleveland-steamering an innocent sedan:

Officers are searching for someone they said has defecated on 19 parked cars in driveways.

The bowel movement bandit strikes between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m. On Wednesday morning, a resident caught the suspect on film.

I have nothing to add except that it sure would be wonderful if his name turned out to be “Browning.”
 

 
Via NewsNet 5

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Discussion
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Off with their heads: Gruesomely comic headless portraits from the 19th century
03.11.2015
06:29 am

Topics:
Amusing
History

Tags:
photography
Victoriana

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Tales of headless ghosts or headless horsemen that haunted the night—most famously described in Washington Irving’s short story, “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”—and the horrors of the guillotine were a source of inspiration for these gruesomely comic portraits from the 1800s to early 1900s. These portraits show a flipside to the orthodox notions of Victorians as no nonsense, straight-backed, straight-laced individuals, who would no more crack a smile than waste a nickel.

It also shows how keenly many Victorians (or at least those who were rich enough to have their portraits taken) were to embrace the advances in (novelty) photography—a practice that is still continued today by “paranormal street photographer” Krocky Meshkin and Edward Allan of the site Haunted Memories, who famously produced the “Buckley Family Portrait,” which proves we moderns can be just as gullible when it comes to headless hoaxes.
 
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More headless portraits, after the jump…
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Discussion
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