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The kid from the ‘Balloon Boy’ hoax made a metal video. And, surprise! (not really) it’s awful

Heene Boyz Finger it Out album cover
The Fingered it Out album cover
 
Or should I say kids, because young Falcon Heene (the boy who never was flying over Colorado in a balloon back in 2009) has put together a metal band with his brothers Ryo and Bradford called Heene Boyz. As you might have already guessed, the young lads are being managed by the man very same man who orchestrated the whole balloon fiasco (with the help of his wife Mayumi), their father Richard Heene.

Falcon Heene, now eleven is the trio’s vocalist and brothers Ryo (age thirteen on drums), and Bradford (age fifteen on guitar) are currently trying to bill themselves as the “youngest metal band in the world,” a distinction that the Heene Boyz technically share with Brooklyn middle-schoolers Unlocking the Truth who are all now between the ages of twelve and thirteen, as well as Japanese band Baby Metal who are all about fourteen now. But I digress.
 
Balloon Boy Hoax headline
 
Their big song is called “Balloon Boy No Hoax.” A title that sounds exactly like it was written by an eleven-year-old whose name will always be synonymous with “Balloon Boy.” Remarkably, as the snappy title implies, the lyrics to the song attempt to denounce the fact that “Balloongate 2009” was a hoax in the first place. The boys even take a lyrical swipe at journalist Wolf Blitzer (“Who the hell is Wolf?”). Blitzer was the lucky journo who got to interview the family during a night when he was guest-hosting for Larry King on October 15th, 2009, the same day the hoax went down. When Blitzer asked Richard Heene to clarify what his son was doing hiding in the attic of the family’s garage, he obliged and asked Falcon (who was only six at the time) to respond. The kindergartner answered “You guys said we did this for the show.” (At that point, Richard Heene put on his best dog and pony show in an attempt to deflect Blitzer’s repeated requests to get Falcon to repeat the massive VERBAL BOMB he had just dropped. Heene got all defensive and the rest is history. Both parents spent a short time in jail and Richard Heene’s probation period ended last year.
 
Heene Boyz Balloon Boy No Hoax video
 
So without further adieu, here’s “Balloon Boy No Hoax” from the album Fingered it Out. And yeah, they made a video for the title track and it’s even worse than the song.

Yeah Mr. Heene, your kids are going to turn out just fine.
 

 
 
Via Metal Sucks

Posted by Cherrybomb | Discussion
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Rightwinger wants South to form conservative nation with no gays or Hispanics and call it ‘Reagan’!


 
Former Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush speechwriter, Pentagon official, novelist, TV commentator, columnist and idiot Douglas MacKinnon appeared yesterday on The Janet Mefferd Show to promote his new book, The Secessionist States of America: The Blueprint for Creating a Traditional Values Country . . . Now.

It seems that Mackinnon, who you might see on Fox News from time to time, was inspired by the recent referendum in Scotland to consider what might happen in America in a similar(ish) circumstance, after a recent poll found that nearly one quarter of us would like to secede (although not necessarily for the same reasons).

According to The Raw Story:

[Mackinnon] told the religious conservative host that southern states – starting with Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina – should leave the United States so they can implement a right-wing Christian system of government.

MacKinnon envisions other states joining, but he hopes to leave out Texas because “there have been a number of incursions into Texas and other places from some of the folks in Mexico.”

Sure the Confederate states got a bit of a bad rap back in the Civil War days, but hey, that was then and this is now, right?

MacKinnon told his host that the Southern states had “seceded legally” and “peacefully” before the Civil War and that it was President Lincoln who was in the wrong. The rightwing pundit also recommended that the newly-formed country be dubbed “Reagan,” in honor of his old boss.

Although slavery was not mentioned during the program, he’s got a major problem with gay civil rights. MacKinnon took up the “persecuted Christian” canard with a passion, declaring:

“If you do believe in traditional values, if you are a Christian, if you are evangelical, if you do believe in the golden rule, then you’re seeing all of this unravel before our eyes daily,” he complained.

Nope, no gayz need apply for a visa to “Reagan,” and you doggone Lat-teen-o-types, apparently you ain’t welcome either (hence the Texas snub).

Here’s some excerpts from the interview as posted by Right Wing Watch:
 

 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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Q: Are We Not Men? The origins of DEVO’s theory of De-Evolution!
10.21.2014
07:18 pm

Topics:
Kooks
Music

Tags:
DEVO


 
The concept of De-Evolution, the guiding philosophy of DEVO, dates back way past 1972 Ohio. In fact it officially dates back in print to 1924 Ohio when Rev. BH Shadduck (PhD!) published his wild anti-evolution booklet Jocko-Homo Heavenbound (aka Jocko-Homo Heaven-Bound King of the Zoo). The book and the many followup books published by his Jocko-Homo Pub. Co. were popular in his lifetime, but then sat dormant for decades waiting to be rediscovered. Gerald Casale was a student at Kent State who’d been using the term “De-Evolution” before he met fellow student Mark Mothersbaugh in 1970. But it was Mothersbaugh who owned the Jocko-Homo booklet and introduced it to Casale, and here the embryonic DEVO truly began to devolve.
 
kdieksl
 
Rev. B.H. Shadduck (1869-1950) was many things in his day, an officer in the Salvation Army, Deacon and Elder in the Methodist church, Doctor of Philosophy, Christian apologist, public speaker, vocal critic of the teachings of the Jehovah’s Witnesses and vigilant refuter of evolution, but he is best remembered today for his series of clearly insane religious pamphlets.
 
cleakng
 
Brought up in a non religious household. He once stated that his father was an infidel:

I didn’t know what church or Sunday school was.  With no one to teach me of the way of God, I naturally grew up wild.  My first trip to church was to satisfy curiosity, and if I went afterward it was to escape some disagreeable (farm) work that father had for us on Sunday.

On February 6, 1888, after four months as a Salvation Army soldier, eighteen-year-old B. H. Shadduck was accepted as an officer in their organization at Ashtabula, Ohio.  Four years later he wrote—among numerous other lyrics put to the melodies of popular songs of the day—“The Great Judgment Morning,” a gospel standard that has appeared in dozens of hymnals and was recorded by country great Roy Acuff in 1941. He left the Salvation Army in 1893 after getting married, soon after commencing an affiliation with the Methodist church. As a Methodist pastor, Shadduck served churches largely in West Virginia and Ohio.  His influence would perhaps have been confined to this territory had not two particular incidents sparked a prolonged response from him.

The first was the unveiling of The Chrysalis, a sculpture of a man emerging from an ape ‘cocoon’, in West Side Unitarian, a liberal New York City church, in 1924. Dr. Shadduck was so revulsed at the thought of evolution supplanting Biblical creation even within church walls that he responded with the publication of Jocko-Homo Heavenbound which featured a disparaging pen-and-ink rendition of The Chrysalis on its cover with an added, angelic apparition emerging from the man-ape. Though written with his characteristically homespun wit, Shadduck soberly addressed the fallacies of evolutionary theories in the light of the scriptures as well as commonly-held scientific fact. A 32-page booklet with color covers and several full-page cartoons by F. W. Alden (of Waukesha, Wisconsin), Jocko-Homo (“ape-man”) Heavenbound, was a runaway seller, going through ten reprintings and being distributed throughout much of the United States and Canada. It was favorably reviewed in a number of Christian journals of the day, but some ‘modern’ churches refused to endorse Shadduck’s book.

The following year, Darwin’s theory of evolution drew nationwide attention with “the Scopes Monkey Trial” in Dayton, Tennessee in which prosecuting attorney William Jennings Bryan upheld Biblical creation and defense attorney Clarence Darrow argued for evolution. Though Bryan won the trial, he grew ill and died five days after its end, and evolution had clearly more than a foothold in the mind of “Christian America.”

 
Ironically, B. H. Shadduck’s publishing base of operations was latterly held in Ashtabula, Ohio, the birthplace of Clarence Darrow (and of Miriam Linna, future Cramps drummer who was, incidentally, the first human to distribute the first homemade DEVO single of “Jocko Homo” to New York record stores).
 
lfvvsdoh
 
Having found one of Shadduck’s books The Toadstool Among the Tombs in the mid 1990’s,  I immediately purchased it due to the amazing cover which features a bizarre mushroom-man with glasses growing out of the ground in a graveyard. As I flipped through to the back I saw the words “Jocko-Homo” and was floored, having found the secret of my own De-Evolution idols, DEVO, who I had originally seen on their first visit to New York City in 1976 and immediately loved (I was later in the “Come Back Jonee” video).

It had to come from somewhere, and where better than some anti-evolutionist nut’s Bible thumping 1920’s cartoon series? The art is incredible and the most amazing thing of all is the snide, almost nasty, looking down his nose humor of B.H. Shadduck’s “characteristically homespun wit,” is so similar to DEVO’s own.
 
jdkjdd
1974
 
Of course the hunt for more of these books was on and eventually I found the holy grail of Shadduck’s books, his first, the one Mark Mothersbaugh had, Jocko-Homo Heavenbound. It just astounded me, and still does. You can trace much of their outlook, their sort of finger-wagging “shame on you, stupid” stance and even the “Devolutionary Oath” revealed in Devo’s 1976 film, In The Beginning Was The End: The Truth About De-Evolution is “borrowed” from Shadduck’s writings.

Devolutionary Oath:
wear gaudy colors or avoid display
lay a million eggs or give birth to one
the fittest shall survive yet the unfit may live
be like your ancestors or be different
we must repeat!

 
ncfhfjdsk
 
Halfway through the Jocko-Homo book Shadduck mocks the supposed chaos and ambivalence of evolutionary science by listing its supposed rules:

1- Be like your ancestors or be different.
2- The fittest shall survive and the unfit may live.
3- Grow big or stay little; either will help you survive or not.
4- That your family may survive, lay a million eggs or give birth to one.
5- Unused organs shall disappear or persist.
6- Rudimentary organs are what you have had or what you will have.
7- Win a mate by combat or not; it will help the family survive, or not.
8- Polygamy will help survival, unless you prefer to mate in pairs.
9- Fight your neighbors or unite with them; one way or the other will help.
10- Wear gaudy colors or avoid display, so shall your family survive.
11- Develop legs, wings, tail, horns, shells or not; they will help, or not.
12- Remember, it’s a THEORY. Don’t let any man see you MAKING wings out of warts or Adams out of apes.

Sounds familiar, right?
 
kcjfgiyd
 
Shadduck certainly had a way with words that would “catch on with the kids” a half century later in a way that must make him spin in his grave. It takes a real comic genius to turn a phrase like “you might as well hunt for wild squirrels with a bass drum”! There’s a great website that collects some of his booklets called creationism.com and another one here. Between the two you can read most of his books and pamphlets.

Shadduck took the expression of his singular philosophy in many directions, some quite off, like the incredibly racist Rastus Augustus Explains Evolution, Rastus being a fictional “Negro” janitor who listens in on ‘enlightened’ college lectures on evolution which threaten to topple his Christian faith whilst his pious, exasperated wife Mammy Lou contends with him. Pretty harsh reading. Interestingly, DEVO also played with racial archetypes, but from the other side, to their credit. In fact DEVO took this concept (the mocking of it) to many more people than the good Rev. Shadduck ever could. It’s incredible that one man’s utterly demented life’s work can provide the basis another’s life’s work (or a group of ‘em), but coming from such a different place in such a different time. Not to mention musical style (although DEVO did flirt with gospel as their Christian alter-egos, DOVE.)

One thing we can all probably agree on though—we’re all DEVO!
 

Posted by Howie Pyro | Discussion
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TV Exorcist Bob Larson is making house calls!
10.08.2014
01:06 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Belief
Idiocracy
Kooks

Tags:
Bob Larson
Exorcism


 
Is TV evangelist and exorcist extraordinaire Bob Larson so down on his luck that he’s resorted to making house calls? Or is there a sudden and overwhelming demand of late for bogus exorcisms from callous grifters preying on the old and ignorant? I don’t know, but if you watch Larson’s TV commercial for his new house call business, you’d think pretty much the entire population is in desperate need of Larson’s soft touch to rid themselves of demons or other common household spiritual entities. The commercial is so ridiculous and comical it almost comes off as a Tim and Eric sketch or a commercial parody from Idiocracy.

As one woman named Rachel claims in the video, “...he already saw the demon within me before it was revealed I had Jezebel. Bob Larson’s amazing ability that he’s gifted with… I thank Bob Larson and most importantly I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

Break family curses at the root! Discover the cause of destructive habits and addictions. Get rid of demons. Uncover hindering issues. Be healed of infirmities. No pastor, priest, or counselor has dealt with more spiritually bound people and seen them set free. This isn’t counseling. This isn’t therapy. This is intervention to get answers NOW! Your lifetime of suffering will end. Your torment will stop.

~snip

Need help right where you are? Is your house haunted? Are you unable to travel? Bob makes house calls. If you can’t get to Bob, he will get to you [emphasis added].

You better believe he will!

There are so many amazing one-liners and golden nuggets of fucking idiocy in this video that I don’t even know where to begin. You’ll just have to watch this craptastic commercial to understand what I’m talking about. The idea that there’s a commercial on TV like this in the year 2014 is just mind-boggling! By 2505, sure, but 2014?

Sometimes I feel it’s difficult to explain America to people who have never been here.


Bob Larson doing what he does best.
 

After the jump, Bob Larson’s incredible cameo appearance on Marc Wootton’s criminally unseen, bust-a-gut funny Showtime series La La Land…

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Strunk and White supremacy: Racist secessionist eggheads obsessed with spelling and usage


Take note, Tea Party: No spelling mistakes here
 
The League of the South is not your ordinary band of Southern racists. In describing the group, the Southern Poverty Law Center emphasizes its intellectual credentials—“Originally founded by a group that included many Southern university professors, the group lost its Ph.D.s as it became more explicitly racist.” Hmmm. It seems that the professorial roots of the group have never really gone away, no matter how small the group is today. The group’s mission is, per the SPLC, is as follows: “The league believes the “godly” nation it wants to form should be run by an “Anglo-Celtic” (read: white) elite that would establish a Christian theocratic state and politically dominate blacks and other minorities.” It turns out that the League of the South takes that “Anglo-Celtic” thing pretty seriously.

Buried on the group’s website is a series of pages on the theme of “Verbal Independence.”  They were written by Dr. James Everett Kibler Jr., and just by using periods to cap off the “Dr.” and the “Jr.” there, I’m annoying the good doctor mightily, for as he writes, seeking an unimpeachable Southern authority to justify his preference: “Mr Mrs Ms Dr Sr Jr Rev Esq—We do not use a period with these abbreviations. Interestingly, the great Southern writer William Faulkner always deleted the period in Mr and Mrs. ... We Southerners certainly thus have powerful precedent in adopting these forms used by the 20th century writer most celebrated worldwide. So, indeed, thank you Mr (no period) Faulkner.” Kibler is identified as the League’s “Cultural Committee Chairman.”
 

Dr. James Everett Kibler Jr.
 
So what kind of “style guide” does a committed racist write? Turns out, one that would not garner any attention whatsoever in the United Kingdom. That is to say, the bulk of Kibler’s guide is dedicated to such exciting prescriptions as spelling “color” with an extra “u,” replacing the “z” in “organize” with an “s,” and so on. Kibler even takes pains to insist upon single quotation marks in preference to double quotation marks and vice versa, just like they do in England. Kibler also includes a “special section” of words not covered by any rule, such as cheque, meagre, enquiry, and so on.

Once you get past the British-American style recommendations, the style guide degenerates into a series of ad hoc rules designed to retrofit a system of grammar around preexisting Southern phraseology, as in the paragraph that states that “mash” is too a perfectly acceptable synonym for “press,” as in telling someone to “mash three, please” in an elevator. (It took me a few moments to glean his meaning, actually, but I’m a nasty Northern type.) Amusingly, his irritation over this word apparently stems from incidents “in a Northern city (like Atlanta or Charlotte).” Burn! Take that, Atlanta!

One of KIbler’s longest entries is about the distinction between the words raise and rear. Now, I have to confess .... I’m an editor by trade, I’ve edited at least 150 books in my time as well as countless other pieces of printed matter. I’ve read style guides very much like that produced by Dr. Kibler (only with less racism). I’m a devotee of the Chicago Manual of Style. So all this stuff is very, very familiar to me. I do this for a living, I think about the differences between titular and eponymous, between further and farther, and much else.

All of that is preamble to this: confession: I have never seriously considered the words raise and rear as being of especial interest. Not so Dr. Kibler—he is very upset about raise and rear. Let’s give him the floor (note that the removal of apostrophes from single-syllable words accords with one of his rules):
 

A celebrated Pulitzer prize winning, South-hating author of my acquaintance once chastised me in an emotional outburst for my saying a certain black lady was raised near my home. ‘Like turnips!’ he blazed with righteousness, saying I had used a racially demeaning figure of speech like the ‘n-word’ or boy. Even after I got over my initial shock, I did not attempt to explain what most Southerners know—that we in the South are (if we are fortunate enough) all raised, both black and white, and not reared. And it is, indeed, no doubt, like turnips with us—yes, and also like cotton, okra, and beans—and with no shame in that! Any agrarian people well knows the image is a good one, for crops need the careful long process of planting, daily tendance, and then the grace of God over all—to yield up a successful crop. Raising requires great loving care and more than just biological growth. So out of our noble Southern agrarian heritage, let us keep our expression to raise, and foreswear to rear. And that will make certain we also keep the good old countryman’s phrase, ‘Boy, aint you had no raising?’ And we’ll know precisely what we mean. Because inherent in raising is good, courteous behaviour—good manners which must be taught in social situations by the family.

 
Call me crazy, but if touchy incidents involving race yielding a ringing sense of ressentiment constitute the core of your orthographical and grammatical agenda, it may be that you’re not really all that interested in spelling and grammar to begin with.
 

A League of the South billboard—again, no typos
 
Thanks to Mark Davis!
 

Posted by Martin Schneider | Discussion
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Nasty neighbor: Old man porn ninja terrorizes innocent neighbors
09.17.2014
10:51 am

Topics:
Current Events
Kooks
Sex

Tags:
Jimmy


 
Meet crotchety old man “Jimmy.” Jimmy lives in Queens Village, NY, and loves to terrorize his Indian neighbors every day with pornographic images hanging in the front window of his home. Jimmy’s probably hoping the images are so offensive to his neighbors and to their 4-year-old son, that they’ll eventually move out. Jimmy’s one nasty son of a gun. It’s so bad, the neighbors have resorted to hanging a sheet on their front porch to block the view of Jimmy’s house.

Sanjeev Aggurawal and his family are the neighbors the pictures appear to be aimed at offending the most.

“He’s upset because some Indian guy moved in next door. That’s the basic thing,” Sanjeev Aggurawal said.

Police have been called on Jimmy’s ass before, but like a skillful old porn ninja, Jimmy removes the images before they arrive and promptly puts them back up when they’re gone. Jimmy must be stopped!

Fuckin’ Jimmy, man…

 
via ABC 13 and h/t Death and Taxes

Posted by Tara McGinley | Discussion
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Marxist Minstrels: The Beatles want to sexually hypnotize you into Communism!
08.19.2014
12:15 pm

Topics:
Kooks

Tags:
The Beatles
communism
David A. Noebel

Communism, Hypnotism, and The Beatles
 
If you’re like me, you can’t resist a good piece of moral panic red-baiting propaganda, especially when it’s directed at a social phenomenon that seems so chaste by today’s standards. As luck might have it, I recently came across the 1974 opus, The Marxist Minstrels: A Handbook on Communist Subversion of Music, by the good Reverend David A. Noebel.

Evangelical tracts denouncing rock ‘n’ roll, especially as related to either homosexuality or “race mixing,” aren’t hard to find if you scour antique shops in middle America, but as something of a connoisseur of the genre, I have yet to find a piece of literature that so succinctly combines the collective fears of old, white, crazy Christian dudes. David Noebel, ordained in 1961, started his illustrious career with the above pamphlet, Communism, Hypnotism, and The Beatles. He saw the rise of Beatlemania as the result of Communist indoctrination via hypnosis (yup, just like the title), a thesis he developed more thoroughly in his 1964 book, Rhythm, Riots, and Revolution: An Analysis of the Communist Use of Music, the Communist Master Music Plan. The book transitioned from The Beatles to folk artists, focusing on Bob Dylan, his colleagues, and their earlier influences. This is at least slightly more understandable, when one considers the political leanings of the folk movement, frequently with explicit anti-racist, pro-labor lyrics.

The Marxist Minstrels: A Handbook on Communist Subversion of Music however, synthesizes all of his previous work, citing children’s records, folk, and rock ‘n’ roll as being part and parcel to some elaborate integrationist, free-love, Communist conspiracy. As a rock ‘n’ roll propaganda collector, I’m used to trudging through a lot of this stuff, and the majority of it is incoherent ramblings—the sort of thing you’d read in a madman’s personal manifesto. Noebel is compelling because he’s intelligent, coherent, and well-researched, despite being absolutely paranoid and utterly mad. Aside from some minor comma abuse, he has a clear, if discursive thesis: rock ‘n’ roll is turning kids into gay, Communist miscegenators.

Some of his “evidence” is fascinating. For example, Alan Freed’s “payola scandal”—who was paying him to play all those rock ‘n’ roll records to unsuspecting teenagers? Communist record companies invade the airwaves by bribery, infecting the youth with music that is ““un-Christian, mentally unsettling, revolutionary and a medium for promiscuity.” He cites psychological studies, sociological statistics, numerology, etc. to scientifically “prove” the moral degradation incited by popular music, causing everything from sky-rocketing “illegitimate” birth rates to sexual rioting. Lots of sexual rioting. The appendices are incredibly dense and well-cited.

What follows his strange assessment of rock ‘n’ roll is an (actually, semi-accurate) account of the American Left, including some background of the American Communist Party and Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC). Then of course, Noebel posits that folk artists were inspiring the youth to instigate a race war. He believed acoustic musicians like Malvina Reynolds (her “Little Boxes” is the theme music to Weeds) and Pete Seeger were instructing white students to join with “radical groups of Negro racists” so that they might revolt and achieve racial dominance in America. The weirdest part of all this is that by 1974, integration was (at least, on paper) complete. The folk artists who were most explicitly leftist or Communist weren’t a particular focus of pop culture, The Beatles had already long been broken up, and he never quite explains how these two very distinct fanbases are somehow connected (except that they’re obviously both very Communist). One can only imagine the lovely psychosis that The MC5 would have brought him.

Noebel is still living today, and I recommend checking out his extensive collection of YouTube videos and blog, if you’re looking for a laugh. These days, he’s much more on the “Obama’s a Socialist” train and decrying “Warmism” (Noebel’s evocative name for climate change) than he is into denouncing rock ‘n’ roll. Hell, even Paul Ryan loves Rage Against the Machine. Still, his older words bring an odd comfort, when we read his treatise on rock ‘n’ roll, comparing it to a children’s record that supposedly contained subliminal messages only audible when the record is played in reverse; “the noise that many of our youth call music is analogous to the story tape played backwards. It is invigorating, vulgarizing, and orgiastic. It is destroying our youth’s ability to relax, reflect, study, pray, and meditate, and is in fact preparing them for riot, civil disobedience, and revolution.” Dear god, I hope so.
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Discussion
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Woman tried to poison roommates after they caught her having sex with dogs
08.15.2014
08:04 am

Topics:
Kooks
Sex
U.S.A.!!!
Unorthodox

Tags:
bestiality


If you’ve ever wondered what kind of person would…

The story goes that Ernest Hemingway once made a $10 bet that he could make readers cry with a six-word short story. Hemingway wrote:

“For sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.”

That story may be apocryphal, but in this case, packing a narrative into a single sentence or even a title was pretty easy. However inducing tears in the reader is unlikely to happen this time. Something else maybe, but not necessarily “sadness” per se...

Via The Raw Story:

An Albuquerque woman tried to poison her two roommates after one of them caught her having sex with a dog, police said.

One of the roommates said she found 53-year-old Shari Walters lying nude in a backyard shed with her German shepherd, Spike.

Walters admitted to having sex with both of the roommate’s German shepherds, the woman said.

A male roommate who had been dating Walters broke up with her “because she was having sex with dogs,” police said.

I really can’t say I blame ‘im!

The Gollum-esque Walters is alleged to have spiked their water with rubbing alcohol and of putting toilet bowl cleanser in the meal she had prepared for them. She also is said to have admitted that she’s been having sex with canines since the apparently not-so-tender age of 14.

Walters was charged with aggravated battery, cruelty or extreme cruelty to animals, and assault with intent to commit a violent felony. Not to mention, her photo is plastered all over the Internet today in a, uh… dogfucker kinda context. Both roommates were treated for minor injuries and poisoning.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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Fire Ted: Make Ted Nugent feel some pain! C’mon it’s fun!


 
Ted Nugent. Trophy hunter. Racist moron. Low I.Q. buffoon. Piss-and-shit-in-his-pants draft dodger. Tea party patriot…

After three casinos on Indian reservations cancelled Ted Nugent’s scheduled appearances recently due to his frequent offensive and insensitive public statements, the Nuge, to no one’s surprise, decided to escalate matters by calling Native American protesters “unclean vermin.” He seemed proud of having offended them.

On Thursday, Nugent vented again on his Facebook page about protesters from the United Urban Warrior Society:

WE ARE ON OUR JET NOW HEADING FOR TOLEDO RIBFEST JAM AFTER AN INSANE INCREDIBLE OUT OF BODY ULTRAROCKOUT at the Full Throttle Saloon in Sturgis SD! Simply astonishing gig! 4 stinkyass unclean dipshit protestors that admitted they hate me AND ALL WHITE PEOPLE THAT STOLE THEIR LAND BULLSHIT!!

See, it aint me they hate, they hate all Americans that produce & live the American Dream. Simply insane!

Or so says Sarah Palin with an electric guitar and loincloth.
 

 
A “Ted Nugent Rib-Off” Facebook page was set up to encourage turnout for a protest at Nugent’s concert tomorrow night in Ohio:

Sure, Nugent has a right to free expression under the First Amendment. But no matter what your political views, every citizen also has a right and in a democracy, a civic responsibility to protest bigotry and intolerance. That’s why we are urging everyone to add their voice, speak out, and join in protest of the appearance of this man and his vile stream of hate speech in our community!

Good on them. Toledo has some fine citizens. Who needs this jerk?

There’s also been some movement online to pressure various concert halls, venues and music festivals to cancel Ted Nugent appearances, or to simply not book him at all. Apparently many people booking these shows are quite unaware of Nugent’s penchant for xenophobic, sexist and racist comments, and in a sense, I applaud their innocence and ignorance of this man, because it’s quite reasonable to ignore such a malignant asshat, right? That’s why signing a petition like this—it’s sent to places booking him—actually matters.

If you’re booking a hall in a small town and you get a whiff of the sulphur trailing behind Ted Nugent, why would you want to risk embarrassing your town or losing your livelihood over a fucking loose cannon asshole like Ted Nugent? What positive effect can that possibly have on your career? The downside, for anyone with half a brain is… well, obvious. A Texas town paid toxic Ted $16,000 not to show up at its July 4th fireworks after receiving complaints over his scheduled appearance.

Even shock jocks should view this man with extreme caution, this much seems obvious by now. He’s a perpetual motion machine of what you probably don’t need to be associated with professionally. Just ask Mitt Romney!

Ted Nugent can be hurt—in his bank account, where it will affect him the most—if venues just say “no” to doing business with the guy the same way they’d refuse to do business with the Ku Klux Klan or a NAMBLA convention. Ted Nugent, he’s a pernicious herpes sore on the asshole of American culture—the living, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging cave man embodiment of “Idiocracy” if ever there was one—won’t you have some fun by signing this petition and then posting it directly to Uncle Ted’s Facebook page? (He personally reads everything. You can picture him getting enraged behind his keyboard like a bipolar bigot on Breitbart in each of his replies. He got into it once with my wife and when she easily bested him in an argument—even his fans agreed with her point—humiliated, like a little baby he deleted the entire thread.)

They let you make a comment when you sign. I encourage you to be creative and as emasculating as is possible and then to spread it around to all your friends

It’s First Amendment vigilante justice, the kind you’d think the Nuge himself might even appreciate if he personally wasn’t the helpless target. Ted Nugent can go suck on his own little machine gun. Not a shot will be fired—just Ted!
 

 
The reason Ted Nugent’s name is seldom seen on “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time” lists isn’t because he’s a toxic bigot, it’s because he’s a shitty musician making terrible music for morons. Here’s Ted Nugent’s one good song, “Journey to the Center of Your Mind” performed with the Amboy Dukes. He’s been losing IQ points since this moment, the (sole) musical high point of his overlong career:
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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Wally George, insane, screaming Reagan-era TV demagogue interviews GWAR and The Mentors
08.07.2014
06:51 am

Topics:
Kooks
Television

Tags:
Mentors
Wally George
Hot Seat
GWAR


 
Every weekday after school, I used to tune into KDOC to watch Wally George spit right-wing hate from a dingy studio in Anaheim. I must have found it comforting in the same way procedural dramas or reality shows can be comforting. The simplicity of the dramatic formula, the banishment of thoughts and thinking from the action, and the very narrow range of rhetorical and emotional possibilities are all balm for the soul.

Wally’s set was austere and his talismans were few: a gavel, an American flag, a photo of a space shuttle launch with the caption “USA IS #1,” and an outrageous combover. Somehow, I had learned that he was estranged from his daughter, the actress Rebecca De Mornay. He seemed like he was maybe not the most sympathetic resident of Orange County.

George was all assertion, no argument, and he didn’t actually say very much—it was all about how he said it. With his voice always rising in pitch and volume, George punctuated his screams by slapping his desk or banging his gavel. His laconic cries left no doubt about his political views. He was for Reagan, Bush, televised executions, Star Wars, the war on drugs, the war in Iraq; against abortion, health care, gay people, evolutionists, devil worshipers, obscenity, metal, punk, and women. He did think racism was a bad thing, or said so.

Gauging the sincerity of these opinions was never easy because the show was so theatrical. To give you a taste of the level of discourse, here’s a brief exchange about the death penalty with regular Hot Seat guest Rick Scouler:

“First of all, what we have to admit is that the death penalty does not cause a downward trend in murder. Okay? That’s proven. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a jerk.”

“No, Rick—the first thing we have to admit is that you are an idiotic nerd!

(George also liked the insults “stupid moron,” “freako” and, for women, “bimbo.”)

As with George himself, it’s often hard to tell how committed the audience was to any position. On every show, spectators would chant “SICK! SICK! SICK!” and heckle the guests, but the crowd looks and sounds more like it belongs at a pro wrestling event than a hate rally.

Whatever the level of cynicism in the room, the beliefs were bad enough. As one-time Hot Seat guest Timothy Leary told People in 1984, “George is part of the 1984 George Orwell nightmare.” Here’s Wally advocating the quarantine of people with AIDS and explaining how you can catch AIDS from a sneeze:
 

 
There are now hours and hours of Hot Seat episodes and clips on YouTube, but you, citizen, will most likely want to skip right to the GWAR and Mentors episodes. The GWAR interview on Hot Seat remains, for me, their definitive TV appearance. Presidential candidate Sleazy P. Martini earnestly defends a key plank in his platform, a modest proposal to legalize crime.
 

 
More Wally George madness with GWAR and The Mentors, after the jump…

Posted by Oliver Hall | Discussion
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