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Warning: You cannot ‘unsee’ these Winnie the Pooh masks that come straight from the bowels of Hell
03.21.2016
09:46 am
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Yeah, the packing looks harmless enough, but as they say never judge a book by its cover. Or a facial mask.

Apparently these officially-licensed Winnie the Pooh “relaxation” facial masks are scaring the bejeezus out of users once they get applied to the face. In fact, folks in Japan are taking photos of themselves on Twitter wearing Pooh’s “relaxation” mask and are trying to outdo each other in the creepiness factor. There is absolutely nothing cute about these masks. Nothing.

A warning: You cannot unsee these disturbing images. Proceed with extreme caution.


 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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03.21.2016
09:46 am
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Just your average cemetery next to a clown motel!?
03.11.2016
08:52 am
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Nevada’s historic Old Tonopah Cemetery was founded in May 7, 1901 and was active until April 1911 when it outgrew its tiny confines and a larger plot of land was secured elsewhere. The graves consist of a little over 300 folks who succumbed to the “Tonopah Plague.” (Other websites say it’s full of deceased gold miners.)

But that’s not really why I’m posting this, you see right next to the cemetery is a clown motel. Yep you heard me, a clown motel. It’s even called the Clown Motel and it’s located halfway between Reno and Las Vegas, where Route 6 and Route 95 merge.

When you’re lookin’ for a motel in the middle of the desert—especially if you happen to be a clown yourself—why not rest your weary unicycle a clown-themed dwelling adjacent to a cemetery? Totally makes sense, right? Maybe it’s a lil’ on the Stephen King side, but you be the judge…

Anyway, the wood-paneled lobby/office of the motel is packed with inviting toy clowns. With porcelain clowns, portraits of clowns and there’s even a grinning life-size clown that’s sits in a chair and watches every move you make. Not cool.

I wonder if you arrive in full clown make-up if they’ll roll out the red carpet for you. Someone should do that and make a video of what happens.
 

 

 

 
More after the jump…
 

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Posted by Tara McGinley
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03.11.2016
08:52 am
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Diabolic vintage illustrations of ‘spanking machines’
02.19.2016
11:02 am
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An illustration of a
“Strafraum” (“penalty”). A German illustration of a “spanking machine,” 1930s
 
Now before you read any further into this post, you should know that I’m not at all a fan of corporal punishment. However, I am very much a fan of the great lengths inventors and perhaps sometimes kinky “free-thinkers” are willing to go to when it comes to building an automated contraption that does things that a human would normally do.
 
Illustration for a spanking machine, 1800s, UK
Illustration from the UK of a “spanking machine,” early 1800s. The clown is a nice touch, yes?
 

“The cane and the whip in the 19th century,” 1899
 
That said, the “spanking machines” you are about to see in this post, probably never became reality. Is it possible some of them were real? Sure, it’s possible. Whatever the case may be, it appears that as early as the 1800s, a great many people from Australia to Russia and of course the UK and U.S. were dreaming up new ways to spank the crap out of people’s asses. Sometimes for pleasure and sometimes as punishment. While the words pleasure and punishment can be interchangeable in some circles (I don’t judge and neither should you), I can assure you that the vast majority of people in the following images don’t look especially thrilled about what’s happening. That said, I’d consider some of what follows NSFW. Which is usually what you’re going to get if the title of a post includes the words “spanking machines.” Duh.
 
The
The “Rub A Dub Dub” spanking machine. An illustration by fetish artist, John Willie (aka John Alexander Scott Coutts), the founder of ‘Bizarre’ magazine . 1940s
 
More retro spanking contraptions after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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02.19.2016
11:02 am
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There’s a Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug
02.17.2016
09:14 am
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Ah, the Magic 8 Ball: that old classic dimestore novelty oracle. You simply ask it a question, give it a shake, and the answer “mysteriously” appears in a blob of blue liquid in a small window on the underside of the ball.

Well, FINALLY, someone combined the classic pastimes of divination and ass-play. Ladies and gentlemen: The Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug.
 

 
Etsy seller GlowFYourself has created a butt-plug with a Magic 8 Ball attached to the “outside” end. Simply insert the plug, have your partner ask a question, and then give it a little twerk. Your answer will be revealed. The ball knows all.
 

 
“Will this hurt my anus?”

“Signs point to yes.”
 

 
The Magic 8 Ball Butt-plug is only $30—cheap!—from GlowFYourself.

Posted by Christopher Bickel
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02.17.2016
09:14 am
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Man turns his decades-worth of fingernail clippings into paperweights
01.07.2016
10:18 am
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I’m sorta speechless with this one. Not gonna lie. 

Anyway, 45-year-old Queens resident Mike Drake collects his fingernail and toenail clippings and turns them into acrylic paperweights which sell for $300 - $500 a pop. It’s called ART, dammit. Try not to be so judgmental.

“I used to bite my nails, and I wondered how long they could grow. And then I wondered how much I might be able to accumulate.”

So he collected his nail clippings in a Ziploc baggie for about a year, and was about to throw them out when inspiration struck. He decided to do something ‘artistic’ with them.

“I realised I went to all that effort, and I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound. I already worked with acrylics as a hobby so I decided to make paperweights.”

Makes sense.

Drake only makes one paperweight weight per year using a greenish-acrylic tint because the jade color “gives off an emerald quality.”

The more you know.


 

 
via WOW and Huffington Post

 

Posted by Tara McGinley
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01.07.2016
10:18 am
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Stop what you’re doing and watch this insane ‘cooming soon’ trailer for the ‘Ugandan Expendables’
01.06.2016
09:14 am
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Wakaliga, a small village in Uganda is home to Ramon Film Productions. This small studio has churned out dozens of ultra-low-budget action films in the Ugandan slums which have developed a bit of a cult following on the Internet. The village has been nicknamed “Wakaliwood” and is home to a group of actors, martial artists, stunt-people, and technicians who have signed on with filmmaker Nabwana IGG to make some of the wildest and weirdest z-grade action movies ever seen.

The studio gained some notoriety when their film Who Killed Captain Alex went viral on YouTube.

The hallmark of the Wakaliwood film is lots of fighting and unbelievably over-the-top CGI special defects that are used so shamelessly that you almost forget how terrible they are. There’s something incredibly endearing about these productions. It’s like a modern African take on the whole Little Rascals “let’s put on a show!” aesthetic—peppered with shitloads of fake blood and explosions.

Ramon Film Productions have released a new trailer for their “cooming soon” film, Operation Kakongoliro! The Ugandan Expendables.

Whereas the budget of Who Killed Captain Alex has been stated as $200 USD, this new film has a stated budget of $2000. Obviously that means it’s ten times as good.
 

 
The mind-melting trailer and more, after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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01.06.2016
09:14 am
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Punish your Fox News-watching relatives this Thanksgiving with 2 hours of Barry Manilow’s ‘Mandy’
11.25.2015
08:52 am
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Here’s one to take home to the family for Thanksgiving.

When your Fox News-watching parents or drunk racist uncle starts slipping the talk about Syrian refugees or Black Lives Matter protesters into the holiday dinner conversation, you’ll need to diffuse the situation fast—and as music hath charms to soothe the savage beast, Barry Manilow’s music is the most soothingest.

Here we have a lovely remix of Barry Manilow‘s 70s AM radio classic, “Mandy,” normally 3:14 minutes long, here extended to a punishing two hours and fifteen minutes.

Delight or threaten your family with this timeless ballad, now seamlessly drawn out to inhumane lengths.

Make it a game. Anytime someone brings up how much they appreciate how Trump “tells it like it is,” give ‘em fifteen more minutes of “Mandy.” If Rush Limbaugh’s name comes up, that’s probably worth a half hour of “Mandy” waterboarding. If anyone says they “like that Ben Carson,” well, just make them leave.

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for YouTube user Richard Shuping‘s remorseless gift that, like the titular Mandy, came and gave without takin’...

And it keeps giving and giving and giving… IT DOESN’T STOP GIVING:
 

Posted by Christopher Bickel
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11.25.2015
08:52 am
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Can Halen: Some genius mashed up David Lee Roth with everyone’s favorite Krautrock band
11.16.2015
08:32 am
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This is totally a one-note joke, but it could also be argued that Diamond Dave is a one-note singer.

YouTube user and goddamned genius Jim Haney took that Van Halen vocals-only track from “Runnin’ With the Devil” that’s been floating around the Internet for a few years and laid it over the top of an edited version of Can’s “Mother Sky.”

The result is magical.

This is the dumbest, most crucial thing you’ll hear all day:
 

Posted by Christopher Bickel
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11.16.2015
08:32 am
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67-year-old grindcore-singing mom is way more brutal than you
11.10.2015
08:45 am
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A 67-year-old mom from Canada is proving that getting older simply means getting more brutal. She calls herself “The Grindmother” and she’s no mere novelty. Her vocals are paint-peeling face-rippers and when she tells you to “clean your fucking room,” I’d suggest minding what momma says.
 

 
The Grindmother got her start as the supportive parent of a member of Canada’s Corrupt Leaders, obliging to lay down some vocals on one of her son’s songs. She obviously had a good time with that project because now she’s got her own gig. Her sick shrieks grabbed the attention of Ozzy Osbourne, who recently tweeted a link to her video for “Any Cost.”

You can download the track from her Bandcamp or watch the video here:
 

 
More of the Grindmother, after the jump…

READ ON
Posted by Christopher Bickel
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11.10.2015
08:45 am
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Gas & Grass (forget the ass for now)
11.09.2015
02:00 pm
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There used to be a famous bumper sticker in the 1970s that warned would-be hitchhikers that they were expected to pay for their lifts with “Gas, Grass or Ass, No One Rides for Free.” It was a familiar sight, normally festooned on a VW bus:


 
A new business that’s opened in Colorado Springs, Colorado called “Gas & Grass” is aiming to satisfy at least two of these requirements (Can you guess which two?).

The “Gas and Grass” gas station is located adjacent to a Native Roots medical marijuana dispensary, although they have separate entrances as state law will not allow pot shops to sell non-marijuana products. Medical marijuana patients shopping at the dispensary will get discounted gasoline, similar to a rewards program with a 5 cent reduction in the per gallon price of gasoline. Upon registering with the Native Roots collective, the new patient will also receive a one time free full tank of gas.


 
At first blush this seemed a bit nutty to me, from a “public relations” perspective, certainly, but the fact of the matter is that most gas stations these days at least sell beer, if not hard alcohol. If I had to chose, I’d much rather face someone high coming at me down a country road than someone drunk, any day. Hell, I’m more against people hopped up on Starbucks coffee getting behind the wheel of a car than those who are mellowed out on weed. Why not sell pot? And why not try to appeal to the pothead who might need to pick up a gram of hash oil and a gallon of milk and gas up on the way home? Chances are there are quite a few folks who might like to do all of their errands in one place like this. I’d personally patronize such an establishment. If their rewards program was commensurate with my pot consumption, I’d have free gas for life.
 

 
Via Arbroath

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.09.2015
02:00 pm
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