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‘21st century bastard’: Asshole action figures for the ‘darkest timeline’
03.06.2017
12:26 pm
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‘21st century bastard’: Asshole action figures for the ‘darkest timeline’


“Evil” Steve Bannon
 
One theme of 2016-2017 is that we’re all hearing waaaay too much about Sean Spicer, Vladimir Putin, and Nigel Farange. Prominent coverage in the media of scumbags such as these is one of the surest signs that we’ve fallen into the “darkest timeline,” to quote Dan Harmon’s show Community. In a normal world Spicer and Farange would be non-entities and Putin would be widely regarded as a desperate loser clinging to his prerogatives rather than a Machiavellian mastermind.

Obviously, Donald Trump would either be in bankruptcy court or perhaps angling for something to rejuvenate his reality TV career.

But alas, that is not the way the 21st century is working out, is it? In this timeline Brexit happened, Trump won the election, and Putin apparently has dozens of toadies sprinkled throughout the White House staff. Here to pay tribute to the awfulness that is “everything you see in the paper every fucking day” are some wonderful mockups of fake action figures of many of the worst people in international politics today, including the three people already mentioned plus Richard Spencer and his highly punchable Nazi face, “Evil” Steve Bannon, “Slimy” Piers Morgan, and a few others.

All of them are OG “bad dudes”—to quote President Trump, who is mysteriously absent here—and come with “adjustable limbs and morals”! These were created by Chris the Barker, who is a practitioner of “fake toys” such as those pictured here. You can also follow his Tumblr.

Included in the set is “Thatcher’s Ghost,” whose chilly spirit has somehow affected everything political in the Anglo-American sphere of late. There are lots of clever jokes and references in the images but I’ll leave those for you to detect.
 

“Action Vlad”-imir Putin
 

“Alt-Right Punchbag” Richard Spencer
 

“Good Ol’ Kellyanne” Conway
 

“Ham-Face Dave” Cameron
 

“Nasty NF” Nigel Farange
 

“Secretary Sean” Spicer
 

“Slimy Piers” Morgan
 

“KT Trolumnist” Katie Hopkins
 

Thatcher’s Ghost
 
There’s also a bus for the action figures, specifically the one famously touting EU-related budgetary outrages, which were admitted to be false by Brexit’s backers after the referendum was concluded:

 
Note: The first version of this post was incorrect—of course Trump is accounted for. Thanks to reader Serge Coosemans for the tip.

“Easy-D” Trump
 
via Nerdcore
 

Posted by Martin Schneider
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03.06.2017
12:26 pm
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