This has to be one of the goofier fundamentalist Christian “items” I’ve ever seen: The “Witness Stick®” is like a sheleighleigh or “staff” I suppose, but with a difference. The “Witness Stick®” aims to help shy Christians untie their tongues with an eye-catching walking stick emblazoned with several colors, a wordless book of faith.
How it works is simple: Someone walks up to you as you brandish your fetching “Witness Stick®.” They ask you “Hey, what’s with the stick?”
Presuming they aren’t worried for their safety, you then reply “Why, it’s my ‘Witness Stick®.’ Would you like me to tell you about it?” If they gulp “yes,” you’ve been invited to witness to them. There is a card that comes with the stick that explains how each color relates to the life of Christ!
I’m sorry, but if I was ever walking the dogs in Runyon Canyon and some creep wanted to talk to me about his fucking “Witness Stick®” I would just hope that I didn’t have any liquids in my mouth as I point at him and laugh in his face.
Read a larger version at Stuff Fundies Like