A few months ago DM brought you the expensive service guys could hire to fool their loved ones into thinking that they are involved in a relationship. Now, in another bold step in the process of getting professional help to minimize the stress that women inevitably bring—women, amirite fellas?—there’s now an Android app that automates the little chit-chat texts from your loved one that make the day a little easier to get through.
 

 
Appropriately enough, it’s called BroApp, and it appears to have been invented just as much to elicit piqued thinkpieces like this very one as it is to generate cash revenue. (The price tag is $1.99.) Men’s Health, of all magazines, nailed it: “Congratulations, you’ve just outsourced your relationship.” That line comes from BroApp’s own page on Google Play! They’re proud of that quote!

Here’s a little more of that app description:
 

BroApp is your clever relationship wingman. It automatically messages your girlfriend sweet things so you can spend more time with the Bros. Select your girlfriend’s number, add some sweet messages, and set the time of day when you want those messages sent. BroApp takes care of the rest.

-snip-

BroApp is smart, taking all possible steps to safeguard the BroApp secret. BroApp’s unique detectors integrate advanced Android technologies that ensure your girlfriend never becomes suspicious of your relationship wingman.

 
The messages are brilliantly semi-literate, including such syntactical puzzlers as “Hi darl, how did you go today?” and “Hey babe, whats doing with you today?” (“Darl?” Who says, “Darl?”) One question I have is, why can’t the messages incorporate the young lady’s own name?

And another thing: Where’s the female version of this app, to help busy women reassure their sensitive beaux that everything’s OK?

(Memo to the BroApp powers-that-be: Reviewers and journalists can get a comped copy of the app, right?)
 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
InvisibleGirlfriend.com: For all your fake girlfriend needs!