Topps Shock Theater trading card #30 Dracula A.D. (UK version 1976)
 
Back in 1976 trading card company Topps produced a collection of cards called “Shock Theater” that were based on the films of the legendary British cult film company, Hammer.

Part of Hammer’s long-running appeal was due to its use of gore and sex, a tactic they used in excess to try to stay relevant during the 70’s. So it’s more than a little confusing as to why they marketed the cards to kids (the packs came with that nasty, cardboard flavored pink gum we all spit out after chomping on it for 30 seconds). For example, the Karnstein Trilogy (1970 and 1971), featured three films, The Vampire Lovers starring Ingrid PItt, Lust for a Vampire, and Twins of Evil, that contained explicit sex scenes and lesbianism that had not yet been seen much in English-speaking films. The storyline for 1970’s Taste the Blood of Dracula (one of many Hammer/Dracula films starring the late Christopher Lee), has three swingers turning to black magic to help boost their dwindling libidos.

As far as gross-outs are concerned, 1970’s Scars of Dracula (Hammers very first Dracula movie given an R rating), has a scene that shows dismembered corpses lying in a church with blood-stained walls. To say nothing of the part when a giant bat regurgitates blood all over Dracula’s ashes. And if you’ve never seen 1972’s Vampire Circus, I’ll just say this. There’s a woman dancing around naked, covered in tiger-looking body paint, and loads of sex and blood. In other words, it’s an excellent film.
 

Topps Shock Theater trading card #34 Taste the Blood of Dracula (UK version, 1976)
 

Topps Shock Theater Hammer trading card #36 Dracula A.D. (UK version, 1976)
 
Topps put out two sets of Hammer-themed cards, one in the U.S. in 1975, and a second, nearly identical set in the UK in 1976. The cards are amusingly captioned, a feature that perhaps helped tone down the image on the cards. The back of the cards also had jokes on them as well as a brief description of the scene from the film it depicted. In mint condition, both sets of cards can go for more than two-thousand dollars. Expertly preserved proofs can sell for over $400 apiece. But, if you dig this kind of thing, cards in various conditions can easily be found for less than $20 bucks on eBay.
 

Topps Shock Theater Hammer trading card #35 Dracula A.D. (UK version 1976)
 

Topps Shock Theater trading card #49 The Satanic Rites of Dracula (UK version, 1976)
 
More Hammer horror fun, after the jump…

 
Atlanta comedian Ben Palmer is currently winning the Internet with his “Customer Service” Facebook account.

The sole purpose of this account is to give (hilarious) feedback to customer complaints on various corporations’ Facebook pages.

Acting as a “customer service representative,” Palmer addresses the petty grievances of irate clientele as if he were employed by the companies being complained about. Of course, most of these complaints are the stupidest “first world problems” imaginable, and to anyone who has ever worked in customer service, Palmer is saying all the snarky things the rest of us have always wanted to say to these bozo consumers.

The humor of the account lies in the fact that the people being responded to usually think they are actually being handled by corporate management. And the beauty is that Palmer isn’t actually doing anything illegal or misrepresenting himself under the names of these companies. His advice and responses, usually delivered with a cheery “hope that helps!” are coming from a separate Facebook entity named “Customer Service”—which isn’t necessarily a misrepresentation. Or at least probably not, legally.

Check out Palmer’s website, which is updated regularly. In the meantime, here’s a sampling of some of our favorite gripes and responses:

 

 

 

 
Oh there’s more, after the jump…

 
It looks like Vodun had more devotees in the CBGB set than I would have guessed, because I would have guessed zero. Yet Talking Heads paid tribute to “Papa Legba” in their True Stories, and Debbie Harry and Chris Stein of Blondie recorded this “Invocation to Papa Legba” for a 1989 compilation on Giorno Poetry Systems. It’s just Harry’s voice with Stein’s approximation of Haitian drumming, and it sounds fantastic—maybe a distant, merrier cousin of Peter Hammill’s “A Motorbike in Afrika.”
 

 
I eagerly await learning about Genesis Breyer P-Orridge’s researches into Vodun when Bight of the Twin comes out, because I am ham ignorant about this religion. Papa Legba is, I take it, the gatekeeper of the spirit world, and all attempts to communicate with the loa begin with prayers and offerings to him. Maybe, if you play this loud and often enough, he’ll pay you a visit tonight.
 

 
via Zero Equals Two

Jon Wurster and Tom Scharpling, collectively Scharpling & Wurster

This is a guest post from New York-based writer Mike Sacks. Mike’s latest book is Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today’s Top Comedy Writers from Viking Penguin.

The long-form radio comedy and music program The Best Show ran on Jersey City, New Jersey’s WFMU from 2000 to 2013. This past year, The Best Show segued into the podcast-only realm, where it streams live every Tuesday night at 9:00 PM EST at thebestshow.net. Past radio shows, dating back to 2000, can be found at https://wfmu.org/playlists/BS.

In May, the Chicago-based label Numero released a glorious boxed set containing 75 incredibly nuanced radio comedic bits from The Best Show (spread over 16 CDs) between Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster that should be a primer for anyone interested in comedy. Fifty of these bits are previously unreleased or unaired.

For those not familiar, a typical episode of The Best Show consists of music culled by Tom, call-ins from listeners, some of whom are regulars, and phone conversations between comedy-writer Tom and comedian and professional drummer Jon Wurster. Over the years, the pair have created a virtual, three-dimensional world out of a proud, imaginary town called Newbridge, New Jersey. It’s Lake Wobegon without the nose whistling.

The boxed set, called The Best of the Best Show, contains a 108-page hardcover book, featuring essays by comedians Patton Oswalt and Julie Klausner, and a 22-page interview with Tom and Jon conducted by Jake Fogelnest.

Beyond even that, there are temporary tattoos, postcards, and four hours of bonus material, including the classic bit “The Bruce Willis Saga.” This boxed set will keep you occupied this summer—and beyond. I’ve been listening non-stop for the past few weeks. It has the comedic density of an imploded star. It’s the most impressive comedy album/CD/USB drive I’ve ever heard. The consistency and variety are amazing.

The Best Show is comedy in its purest form. It’s not possible that this show could be improved upon in a different format, whether it be television, movies or print. Or whether the show included a team of writers or a cast or performers. Long-form radio is the perfect medium for The Best Show, and if it has taken mainstream audiences awhile to find it (years after the comedy intelligentsia fell in love), then so be it.

I spoke with Tom one Friday afternoon at a noisy bar in the World Trade Center area about the new boxed set, the recent death of his father, and many other subjects. Much thanks must go out to my friend Michal Addady for her helpful assistance.

You’re now working as a writer on the new HBO show Divorce which will air this fall. Who else is in the writing room?

[Irish writer and director] Sharon Horgan [Pulling, Catastrophe] created the show, and she’s running it with Paul Simms. Sharon is incredibly funny and Paul’s never worked on a bad show. He’s written for Flight of the Conchords, Late Night with David Letterman, The Larry Sanders Show, NewsRadio. He runs a great room.

Another writer is Adam Resnick [Late Night with David Letterman, Get a Life, Cabin Boy].

I’m a huge fan of Adam’s work. It’s been great to see the recent uptick in interest and appreciation for Get a Life and Cabin Boy. It’s well deserved.

It’s funny. It’s almost had to reach the lowest possible level for Get a Life and Cabin Boy to bounce back to where they’ve always belonged. I have a lot of theories on why and how everything bad happened with Get a Life and Cabin Boy. People like to think they’re smarter than dumb Hollywood products, and these two got misinterpreted as being dumb comedies. Audiences wanted to be like, “How dare you push dumb things on us!” The difference is that Cabin Boy knows what it is. It’s not just a crass movie by Pauly Shore that’s trying to convince you that it’s smart but it’s also dumb. No, this was a smart movie made by smart people who were fascinated with the parameters of—who were so deep into comedy . . .

I sometimes wonder if one can be too deep into comedy when making a show or a movie intended to be a financial and popular success.

I don’t know. I think Get a Life and Cabin Boy have been vindicated.

It took a long time.

Sometimes it takes a long time, Mike. Sometimes you start doing a radio show when Bill Clinton is president and then you start finally getting attention when Obama is about to stop being president.
 

 
Well, let’s talk about your show and the attention it’s recently been receiving. And national attention. I saw your and Jon’s appearance on Late Night with Seth Meyers [on May 15, 2015] to promote The Best of the Best Show. That must have been fun.

I don’t know if it was fun. I mean, that’s not fun, it’s terrifying.

It’s a strange thing to be on a show like that. It’s a fake conversation in a way. You’re taking a thing and you’re reducing it to two sentences. Our show is not an easy thing to talk about. It doesn’t necessarily translate that quickly, but we tried. It was great and Seth was great. I was excited about the whole thing. But I was also feeling like, This is not natural.

I recently attended my first-ever broadcast of a late-night show, in this case Letterman’s. It was fascinating to watch the behind-the-scenes machinations. It’s anything but natural. At one point, Reese Witherspoon, who was promoting her new movie, Hot Pursuit, showed a clip from the movie. I kept watching Reese, off camera, who was staring ahead, stony-faced. No expression. And it was only when she knew the cameras were about to go live again that she lit up and started laughing, as if she found the clip hilarious and hadn’t already seen it a hundred times.

It’s presentation. It’s just all a giant illusion, right? All of it.

Not your show.

Sure it is. It’s all presentational.

It’s presentational, but it’s not an illusion.

No, it’s replicating a call-in show, in a way.

It is a call-in show.

Yeah, but it’s also a version of a call-in show. I mean, do I care about the answers to the topics half the time? Not necessarily.

But you do obviously care greatly about the details. I’ve also been lucky enough to attend a live taping of your show. I remember that you were in the middle of a bit with Jon—who was in character at the time—and, as part of the bit, he told you to climb beneath your desk. Instead of pretending to do so, you actually got beneath your desk and asked, “Okay, now what?”

Well, I wanted it to sound good. To get that sound across, that’s what that was all about. I didn’t need to do it for performance sake, but I wanted it to sound like I was actually under the table.

That sense of detail is what makes your new boxed set so amazing. It’s an entire, very believable world you’ve created. It’s like a comedic version of Westeros or Narnia. There’s everything in this town: factories, mountains, lakes, even a jungle. Scores of characters, many of whom are related. I’m almost surprised there aren’t Newbridge Larpers.

As a performer, Jon is fully formed. He’s as talented as it gets. He’s working on two different levels: he’s one of the best drummers going [for Superchunk, Mountain Goats, Bob Mould and others], but that’s just one half of who he is. The other half is that he’s one of the best comedians going. This never happens.

Ringo did okay.

Jon’s funnier than Ringo. And a better drummer.

Continues after the jump…

 
One of the pleasures of crate-digging for old 45s are the colorful labels—the swirly Capitol design to be sure, but also Dunwich, Cameo, Etiquette, Chess, and Laurie, just to name a few. Jarvis Cocker of Pulp currently has an exhibition running at Red Bull Paris that plays on just such glories, an exhibition called “20 Golden Greats” that whimsically imagines an alternate world in which Jarvis was putting out singles for Polydor, London, and Belter Records. In an interview, Cocker mentioned that Pulp has received gold and even platinum records, but he had no interest in them and gave them to his mum for safekeeping.

His interest, however, was sparked by the idea of painting his own record labels for imaginary songs he never recorded for labels he was never involved with. For instance, there’s “22/7” for Map City Records, home of We the People; “Partystopper” for London Records, who obviously put out songs by some band called the Rolling Stones; “Love Handles” for Polydor, home of Slade and Motörhead; and “Am I Missing Something?” on Capitol, of the aforementioned orange and yellow swirl.

Jarvis clearly appreciated the economy of suggesting an entire recording session and radio run of a song with just a couple of words: “Titles are an important part of the music; in just a few words, they reflect an artist’s imagination. ... As a songwriter, someone who works with words, I enjoy the challenge of expressing something in barely three words.”
 

They started out as regular records, but in an apparent twist of egomania, I decided that they should be Gold records. At certain points in my career I received gold and platinum records but I always felt a little bit embarrassed, I was never quite at ease with the idea and always gave them to my mother because I certainly didn’t want them in my house.

This was the challenge I faced with this exhibition: how to make the gold record something desirable, something with class and sophistication, because as far as I’m concerned, gold records, and especially those you see lined up on the walls of recording studios, are always rather ugly.

 
The show runs through August 28.

Here are a few of Cocker’s imaginary gold records:
 

 

 

 

 
Cocker worked up these three tracks to accompany the exhibition: .
 

 
Some more of the labels—click on the image for a better view:
 

 

 
via It’s Nice That
 

Royal Chambers of Brahma
 
Many of the pieces in comic book artist Jack Kirby and Barry Geller’s collaboration “Lord of Light” have never been seen before. Originally done in black and white, the artwork was recently vividly colorized by artist, Mark Englert.
 

Chambers of Brahama
 
The series itself has a rather fascinating history. In 1979, Kirby created artwork based on Roger Zelazny’s sci-fi novel, Lord of Light for Barry Geller. Geller was writing a screenplay based on Lord of Light and tapped Kirby with the job of pulling together the set designs for a theme park that sadly never saw the light of day called “Science Fiction Land.” The film adaptation of Lord of Light was also canned.
 

Science Fiction Land
 
Despite these two failures, Kirby’s creations went on to be used as props in the CIA’s infamous “Canadian Caper” (depicted in the 2012 film, Argo), in which six American diplomats were able to escape Iran during the onset of the Iran Hostage Crisis in 1979 under the guise of a faux film project. It’s fascinating stuff. Now, much to the delight of Kirby devotees, the famed concept artwork for Lord of Light has taken on a new, trippy life thanks to Mark Englert’s masterful colorization that were done on of all things, blacklight screenprints. If these images don’t take you right back to 1983 (or before for that matter), I simply don’t know what will.

The prints were made available exclusively for the 2015 San Diego Comic-Con (which kicks off today) by way of Heavy Metal Magazines’ booth (#1529) for $210 each to attendees who pre-ordered them. Sadly, all the prints appear to already be sold out. The colorized prints will also be featured in Heavy Metal Magazine #276 (out on shelves on August 19th). More images of Kirby and Geller’s super psychedelic screenprints follow. LSD not included (but trust me, you won’t need it).
 

Planetary Control Room one
 

Planetary Control Room two
 

Jet Tube Transporter
 
Plenty more after the jump…

 
On Dan Harmon’s weekly podcast Harmontown earlier this week, Dan and his friend and guest actor DeMorge Brown were discussing the phenomenon of commercials targeted at the African-American audience. You know, ads directed at black people in which everyone in the ad is black. Turns out, Brown himself won the lead role in a pretty backwards-minded KFC campaign directed at black audiences but then turned down the job. The commercial required him to say the words “kitchen fresh chicken.”

Brown’s entrance on Harmontown (they start discussing the ridiculous KFC commercial pretty much right away) occurs around the 1:12:30 mark of the most recent episode.

The existence of “white” and “black” ads by the same company to sell the same products is one of the more insidious and scarcely visible markers of a racist society, far less pernicious than redlining, police murderers, or the war on drugs and yet still a depressing sign of how short a distance we’ve come. You could put a positive spin on it and say that such commercials are celebrating “difference”—but only when there’s a profit to be had. You can’t use the purchase of a Chicken McNugget to express your “heritage” or your “individuality,” after all.
 

 
The actor reminisced about watching a commercial starring his namesake James Brown for McDonald’s that might take the crown as the awesomest commercial ever directed towards a black audience—he remembered watching it in the 1980s during a broadcast of the Grammys, and he saw it only the one time. He promised would “go viral” if someone were to uncover it, but in fact it’s been available on YouTube since 2013 without spawning any undue sensation. It definitely aired more than just the one time—the date given on the YouTube page is several months after the Grammy telecast for that year.

In Say It Loud! My Memories of James Brown, Soul Brother, Don Rhodes discusses the McDonald’s ad briefly. The lines he quotes Brown saying do not appear in the commercial, but then he doesn’t say they did.
 

As he and I stood outside the van in the warm night air, the speakers began blaring Brown’s unique, musical sound with his unmistakable voice boasting, “Every time I think of two, all-beef patties with special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on sesame seed buns, I get on my good foot, and I do that James Brown all the way down to Mick-a-dees—Big Mac! Tastes so good!”

Brown told me that “Mick-a-dees” is what many people, at that time only in northern states, called McDonald’s, and that he had filmed a national television commercial for McDonald’s in Chicago with the commercial showing a bunch of his fans running into him in a McDonald’s restaurant.

 
Hey, it’s always a good time for the great taste of James Brown dancing his ass off….

 
Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s 1983 single “Relax” is so gay. Specifically gay sex. It’s amazing that when the song first came out, the band actually tried to deny its obvious prurience. Two years later though, co-songwriter and bassist Mark O’Toole wrote in the liner notes of their follow-up album, “when people ask you what ‘Relax’ was about, when it first came out we used to pretend it was about motivation, and really it was about shagging.” It wasn’t the most forgiving time for explicit homoerotic sexuality, but the band was never apologetic, and really pushed the boundaries.

During an infamous Top of the Pops performance, frontman Holly Johnson actually tore up a copy of The Sun, the tawdry rag that had been harassing his parents at home for quotes about their gay son. “Relax” also had a 16-minute-long “Sex Mix” that was just a bunch of samples of water noises—apparently even gay bars refused to play it. Then there is the original music video for “Relax,” an unintentionally hilarious ode to gay hedonism, which was almost immediately banned.
 

 
Johnson says the video got pulled when “a big wig in the ‘Big Brother Broadcasting Company’” found his kids watching it. Later the record company asked them to make a second video, the one everyone now knows as the “Relax” video. The second video is dated, naturally, and Johnson describes it as “almost like a satire of a regulation pop video—you know, guys in makeup and laser beams, lots of looking at the camera.” To be fair, the song does contain the line “hit me with your laser beams,” but I think that might be referencing something a little less… literal.

The video is utterly ridiculous of course, but what strikes me is the relative tameness of the queer debauchery. Drag queens and leather daddies, some people in cages and on leashes, a lot of mesh tank tops and gratuitous contouring blush, an actual tiger, and a hedonistic old queen overseeing the entire spectacle while being shaved. Completely insane? Yes. Is there innuendo? Definitely (especially the rather obvious reference to water sports). But there’s nothing hardcore, and it’s hard to believe that a video featuring this kind of hetero sybaritism would have gotten banned.
 

 
Jesse Bearden is an illustrator and art director who hails from Austin, TX and has a clear flair for portraiture. Her online portfolio is full of quite nice pencil, ink, and watercolor works, but she really shines when she takes her work to the fridge and pantry. Her Instagram—totally worth following, I suppose it should go without saying—is full of wonderful celebrity portraits that she executed in food. Few of the foods chosen are conceptually pertinent—Caitlyn Jenner rendered in Wheaties (and what I assume must be Cocoa Pebbles?) was a gimme, no? But Bearden’s choices are still inspired: the frosting Beyonce, condiment Notorious B.I.G., bagel John Lennon, chocolate Elvis (SO MUCH BETTER THAN VELVET ELVIS, RIGHT?) and a Hendrix made out of fruit preserves are all great fun. This thread in her personal work looks to be creeping into Bearden’s professional life—she recently did a time-lapse video, for McDonald’s, of herself painting a coffee drinker in McDonald’s coffee.

Hopefully, she didn’t get burned.
 

 

 

 
Continues after the jump…

 
California artist Russell Powell paints incredibly detailed portraits onto his palm and uses the still-wet paint to “stamp” the images onto paper, leaving both the image and his signature handprint.

Powell must work fast to finish the palm portrait and then get it down on paper before the paint dries—a challenge which makes his work that much more fascinating.

Powell posts his unique works to his Instagram page, which is chock-full of amazing portraits.

Here’s a sampling:
 

 

 

 
More after the jump…