Mark Pirro’s 2004 epic Rectuma is the best giant asshole movie I’ve ever seen.
Waldo Williams returns from his Tijuana vacation to find out that he had become infected by the Notorious Mexican Butt Humping Bullfrog. After being diagnosed by his proctologist with just days to live, Waldo seeks the help of the mysterious Japanese specialist, Dr. Wansamsaki, who treats Waldo with his unorthodox methods, which involve a long nuclear rod. The next day, Waldo’s rear end starts glowing a bright green - and that’s only the beginning. Within days, Waldo’s rear end develops a mind of its own, becoming capable of breaking away in the middle of the night, committing a murder or two and then returning before morning, leaving a fecal trail that leads right to Waldo’s bedroom.
After his wife and her lover are murdered, Waldo’s DNA is discovered at the scene of the crime, and an arrest is made. While in custody, Waldo’s rear end breaks away, attacks one of the detectives and begins a destructive rampage throughout Los Angeles. As the butt’s metabolism races, it becomes larger and larger, swallowing up citizens left and right. Eventually Dr. Wansamsaki calls his cousin Tashira, who is an expert in fighting giant creatures. Having battled the likes of Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, ToeCheeseula, Pus-ula, and Schmegmala, Tashira now has to match wits with possibly his greatest adversary …RECTUMA.
Hal Willner’s “Forest of No Return: Music from Vintage Disney Films” was performed live at London’s Royal Festival Hall in 2007. An impressive line-up of musicians, including Jarvis Cocker (who hosted the event), Shane MacGowan, Grace Jones, David Thomas and Beth Orton, covered tunes from the Disney songbook.
In the clip below, Nick Cave sounds like a drunken sailor on ¨Hi Diddle Dee Dee¨ from Pincocchio . Good fun.
In related news, a new filmed version of Pinocchio is being produced by Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy) and Nick Cave has been brought on board to compose an original score for the movie. This I gotta see.
Cave meets Disney:
Nick does KC and The Sunshine Band after the jump…
Mr. No Legs, starring double amputee action star Ted Vollrath, is thought to be ultimate “cripsploitation” film—indeed, it had few challengers to the title until 2009’s “Thalidomide baby” martial arts stinker Kung Fu Flid AKA Unarmed But Dangerous.
Mr. No Legs is a legless enforcer that rides around in a bad ass wheelchair, equiped with side mounted shotguns that flip out of the armrests at the push of a button. Those shotguns have auto-aim too, so even though they point dead ahead, they can shoot dudes 3 feet off the ground with no problem. If the guns don’t stop you, his whirlwind stump-fu will really trip you up, fool.
He’s working for a drug distributor that hides cocaine inside of cigars. When one of the dealer’s girlfriends finds out that he’s selling drugs, she threatens to leave and accidentally bashes her head on a TV and dies. Bad news is her brother’s a cop, and when he gets wind of the situation, he could crack up the whole operation. When foul play is suspected in the girl’s murder, things lead back to Mr. No Legs and things start to get interesting.
Black Hollywood: Blaxploitation and Advancing an Independent Black Cinema is an inexplicably obscure documentary that deserves a wide audience. Directed by Howard Johnson (Deep Roots) in 1984, the film offers an in-depth perspective on race and racism in America’s dream factory: Hollywood.
This 1984 documentary traces the history of black filmmakers, actors, and audiences in America. From Oscar Micheaux to Eddie Murphy, Black Hollywood amasses interviews and clips to explore the role of black entertainers and entrepreneurs. Although progress has been undeniable, the exposure ushered in by blaxploitation movies did little to advance a black cinema independent from Hollywood. After all, the majority of blaxploitation films were financed by white producers who reaped great rewards. Featuring Diahnne Abbot, Rosalind Cash, Alfre Woodard, Jim Brown, Vonetta McGee, D’Urville Martin, Lorenzo Tucker, Joel Fluellen, Vincent Tubbs, and Sidney Poitier.
Enjoy Black Hollywood: Blaxploitation and Advancing an Independent Black Cinema courtesy of our friends at See Of Sound.
War School is a simple and effective short film written and directed by Ben Newman, in which a military training camp is transposed into a British classroom. The film brings home the brutal reality that affects 300,000 children in over 30 countries worldwide.
YouTuber Fantapants made this clever Royal Wedding vs. Star Wars video. If you look closely, Princess Diana makes an appearance at the Royal Wedding around the 1:10 mark.
No, this is not a joke. An old audio clip has been unearthed of a teenage Mark Sinclair (aka Vin Diesel) rapping over a beat by legendary NY avant-dance composer Arthur Russell under the name Second Edition. This is bizarre not so much for the music, but for the idea itself. Diesel, the lug head, $20 million action star and Russell, the stoned, gay, downtown disco bohemian trying their hardest to make a primitive rap tune work. It seems like a match made in an alternate universe, but no, it definitely comes from this dimension. It has been discovered on tapes owned by renowned guitarist Gary Lucas, who has this to say on his Soundcloud page:
Fragments of an aborted recording session at Battery Sound NYC in 1986 which brought together fledgling rapper Mark Sinclair—today better known as the actor Vin Diesel—and avant composer/dance music maven Arthur Russell in a project midwifed by Gary Lucas, who discovered Mark Sinclair rapping and break-dancing on the streets of the West Village, and greenlighted by Geoff Travis of Rough Trade Records and Barry Feldman of Upside/Logarhythm records.
“I’m the Man of Steel” the teenage Sinclair asserts, foreshadowing his stellar ascent as a worldwide action movie hero (“Triple XXX”, “Pitch Dark”, and most recently the #1 box office hit “Fast Five”)—but even Diesel is no match for Arthur’s crafty diabolical beats, which keep dropping “the one” out from under him, breaking up Sinclair’s delivery and eventually rendering the session useless.
“It’s the white part of me fucking it up!” —Mark Sinclair at the recording session
Unfortunately embedding has been disabled, but if you really are curious to hear it (it’s not amazing to be honest) you can do so here.
Thanks to Steven Hall.
Russian film studio Mosfilm has started offering classic and contemporary Russian cinema with English subtitles on their Youtube channel. The site is in Cyrillic so if you can’t read Cyrillic it’s initially a bit of a challenge to select films. I was able to find movies I wanted to see by a process of hit or miss. Click on a film thumbnail and see what you come up with. As soon as the film starts the title will appear in English as a subtitle. Or copy and paste the Cyrillic title into Google search and you most likely will find an IMDB link. So far, everything I’ve viewed on the site seems to be sourced from high quality digital re-masters.
Here’s the scoop as reported by the St. Petersburg Times:
Russian film lovers can explore a treasure trove of Soviet films as legendary movie studio Mosfilm has posted dozens of its most famous films on YouTube for anyone to watch for free.
The films, legendary for many Russians but often little known in the West, include the comedies of Georgian-Russian director Georgi Daneliya, “Gentlemen of Fortune” and “Mimino”; “The White Sun Of The Desert,” a much-loved adventure story set in Central Asia that is always watched by cosmonauts before a space launch; and classic melodramas such as Eldar Ryazanov’s “A Cruel Romance” with Nikita Mikhalkov and “A Railway Station for Two” starring the late Lyudmila Gurchenko.
Every week, the studio will upload five new films onto the channel, the studio said in an official press release, and expects to have 200 by the end of the year.
Other films uploaded include “Andrei Rublev” and “The Mirror,” two works by one of Russia’s greatest art-house directors, Andrei Tarkovsky.
“For us, the YouTube project is very important and interesting,” Karen Shakhnazarov, director of Mosfilm, said in a statement on the studio’s web site.
“The aim is to give users the possibility to legally watch high-quality video material and prevent the illegal use of our films,” he said.
The studio has worked with YouTube to remove pirated versions of their films uploaded onto the site.
“Most of the films will be uploaded with subtitles in different languages so people from different countries can watch Mosfilm pictures,” Shakhnazarov said.
The 1970 film ‘The White Sun of the Desert’ is an adventure story that is always watched by cosmonauts before a launch.
At the moment, nearly all the films are up with subtitles in English, with only a couple found without any. The 1991 film “Tsareubiista,” or “Assassin of the Tsar,” starring English actor Malcolm McDowell as an insane asylum patient who claims to have killed the Tsar and Oleg Yankovsky as a doctor, is up in both English and Russian versions.
The channel has had more than 170,000 views since it started last week, and as of Monday, almost all of the films had more than 1,000 views. A few films see noticeable drops in viewing when the film is in two parts. Tarkovsky’s critically acclaimed 3-hour, 25-minute film about the great 15th-century icon painter Andrei Rublev saw 2,156 views of its first part and only 414 of the second part.
The most popular film so far is “Ivan Vasilievich Changes Profession,” a 1973 comedy starring acclaimed actor Yury Yakovlev that sold 60 million tickets when in Soviet cinemas and has had more than 15,000 views on YouTube already.
The channel is already in the top 50 of Russian channels on YouTube.
This is great news for film buffs. Visit Mosfilm’s Youtube channeland check out their cinematic treasures.
Here’s one of my favorites, Viy. Directed by Alexander Ptushko in 1967, Viy is based on a short story by Nikolai Gogol. A colorful tale of witches and demons that achieves an almost hallucinatory delirium, Viy has achieved cult status for good reason.
