Sorry, but it had to be done. In honor of 420 I give you one of the finest pot songs ever recorded. Be careful though, this will stick in your head for days.
 

 
Via Ampersand Industries

Forget the Virtual Pint - it’s piss. What YOU need is an unlimited supply of ‘Class A’ Virtual Narcotics. Be the envy of the in-crowd. Get ejected from nightclubs. Shock and amaze your so-called friends. Get oral sex from Z-list celebrities. Introducing The iSnort

It’s the ultimate douchebag iPhone app!

Thank you Michael Simmons!

 
Ringo Starr is saying “who cares” to the Vatican’s late embrace of The Beatles. Starr rolled his eyes at the Catholic Church, which praised the group and expressed forgiveness to John Lennon for his comments that the Beatles were “more popular than Jesus.”

“Didn’t the Vatican say we were satanic?” Starr said during an interview with CNN. “And they still forgive us?”

“I think [the Vatican] has more to talk about than The Beatles,” he added, alluding to the child sex abuse scandal that continues to plague the church.

The Vatican offered its latest peace offering to The Beatles in its recent issue of L’Osservatore Romano, its official newspaper, on Monday.

“It’s true they took drugs, lived life to excess because of their success, even said they were bigger than Jesus and put out mysterious messages that were possibly even satanic,” the newspaper said.

But, “what would pop music have been like without The Beatles?” it reasoned, describing the band’s music as “beautiful.”

The Vatican doesn’t appear to be extending the same kind of olive branch to other popular bands, such as Pink Floyd, Queen, Black Sabbath and The Eagles.

In 1996, those groups were among several - including The Beatles - that Pope Benedict XVI warned youth against listening to when he was still a cardinal, claiming their music contained “subliminal” satanic influences.

Lennon’s full quote was “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first—rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.” We suspect the late Beatle would feel the same about the Vatican’s volte-face as Starr does.
 

 
Ringo Starr tells Vatican to ‘Get Back’; dismisses effort to ‘forgive’ The Beatles (NY Daily News)
 

The state of Ohio is all bothered over a new billboard which shows a breast-milk smeared bab-ay, urging passing motorists to breastfeed, presumably after they’re out of the car. It bothers me, too, but that’s just the atrocious design. The billboard kind of looks like a PSA against undead zombie babies addicted to breastmilk instead of brains. And goddamn, but that baby looks like he’s about to start wiggling his eyebrows suggestively up and down like Groucho freaking Marx. Haunting.

You can always count on the topic of breastfeeding to spark thoughtful and measured debate—or else hysterical attacks and counterattacks. The latest skirmish in the breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding war is being fought in Ohio, where billboards like the one shown here, from the state health department, have been spotted around Cleveland and Toledo and probably elsewhere. Sure, there’s the implication that formula doesn’t satisfy—but the bigger issue here seems to be just what the heck is up with that baby? One local tells Toledo’s Fox affiliate: “When I first saw it, I thought, you know, I agree with breast milk, it’s fine, but then I saw it with the milk around its mouth and I thought that was so unappealing. The baby’s cute, but I did not like the milk coming out of his mouth.” Cleveland Scene readers are more straightforward. Says one: “The little fella looks SATISFIED AS HELL—like a tit vampire with all the drool and boob milk dripping off his chin.” The Ad Council’s breastfeeding campaign seems boring by comparison. Via @rickuldricks.

(AdFreak: Ohio not drooling over breast-milk billboard)

 
I’m calling Tewanda immediately.
 
See large version here.
 
So this arrived today
 
(via The Daily What )

 
“Someone once said laughter is the best medicine - They’re wrong, morphine is the best medicine.”
 
Morphine (P1)
 
(via Not Cot)

 
Hey everybody, Polatik has made a professional music video ! It’s scientifically front-loaded with shots of all 10 brown-skinned people that have been seen at the recent klan teabagger rallies. See, they are aren’t a racist mob of shit heads after all, but rather a thoughtful rainbow coalition of enthusiasts for the funky talking style of music so favored by today’s youngsters. Dope !
 
via War Room
Previously on DM : Polatik: Rightwing Rapper of the Teabaggers

Three-year-old Welsh girl is becoming the world’s youngest tattoo artist, putting Hit-Girl from “Kick-Ass” to shame on little girl badass points. She was trained to use an ink gun by her 36-year-old father.

(Daily Mail: World’s Youngest Tattoo Artist)

 

 
Click each picture on the Tea Party Jesus blog to find out who really said it.
 
Thanks Scott Adams!