I can only imagine that it was complete pandemonium in the hallways of CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and CNBC yesterday as the word filtered out through well-connected Washington media-types that President Obama was coming out of the closet in favor of gay marriage.

If you were a booker at CNN, what’s the first thing you’d do on the occasion of a sitting American President forcefully (if only rhetorically) endorsing marriage equality? Why, of course, you’d scramble to invite a small-minded Christianist bigot like Tony Perkins to offer HIS opinions, wouldn’t you?

And that’s just what CNN did… THREE TIMES.

I can’t think of a more important and relevant voice on the whole matter than Tony fucking Perkins, can you? It’s logical: The President of the United States says something important, lets get a non-entity who runs and is the figurehead/mouthpiece of what the Southern Poverty Law Center has designated as an anti-gay hate group to puke his opinions into viewer’s homes.

Point, counter point, CNN style. No wonder no one watches anymore.

At least, though, when Piers Morgan drew the Tony Perkins card that day (imagine his reaction!) he had some fun with it. At a certain point during this interview, Morgan deftly sank his teeth into Perkins’ ass (metaphorically speaking of course) and did not let go.

It gets really good when Morgan asks Perkins how he’d react if one of his own five children announced to him that they were gay and you see Perkins bridle uncomfortably at the suggestion, pursing his lips and getting very terse with Morgan. Perkins claims that his children would not be gay because he and his wife have been “teaching them the right ways.” (Five kids? What are the odds that one might be gay? Good luck with that Tony!)

Why the hell was this clown on CNN three times in less than 36 hours? What a failure on every level for CNN, even if their anchors DID give him shit. The CNN bookers really need to enter this century and tell this reedonkulous asshat to shove off.

But anyways, I really hate this guy. It was good fun to watch him squirm here.

(And if you enjoyed this, too, here’s MSNBC’s Martin Bashir making mincemeat of religious conservative Rep. Joe Barton of Texas (the fucking idiot who apologized to BP) and his reference to a non-existent Bible verse to bolster his threadbare “moral” arguments for an austere Republican budget that would end Meals on Wheels and free school lunches for poor children.)