Here’s what you never asked for: Garlic and Holy Water Vampire Repelling Soap by Pojo’s Pure Vermont Soaps. Is it really made with garlic and holy water, you ask? Yep.
According to Pojo’s FAQ section:
Q: Is this a real product?
A: Yes, of course!
Q: Does it really prevent physical vampire attacks?
A: Nobody who has used this soap has ever been attacked by a vampire.
Q: Does this soap actually smell like garlic?
A: Yes, Garlic & Holy Water Vampire Repelling Soap contains garlic oil and no additional fragrances, so it does have a distinctive garlic odor.
The soap is $10 per 3 oz bar (or two for $16 or three for $21). Apparently there’s a 100% money-back guarantee if you fall victim to a vampire. However, “this product does not prevent or reduce the risk of spiritual or psychic attacks.” Good to know.