There is no schadenfreude quite like Republican schadenfreude, as I am fond of saying. Watching Newt Gingrich—who Bill Maher delightfully called a “professor of idiocy” the other day—spontaneously combust in the full glare of the media spotlight, has been especially satisfying. His misfortune is my comedy!

That a man this universally disliked—even Republicans can’t stand the sight of his smug face—was ever taken seriously as a presidential candidate is a depressing testament to how low the mainstream media has sunk. Has anyone ever met a Newt Gingrich supporter? Have you? I sure haven’t. Not saying that none exist, but I should think a chupacabras—or even a Rick Santorum supporter—might be easier to locate. Just saying.

Nope, even Republicans aren’t fooled by Newt. He’s an especially loathsome, repellent dickhead in a party comprised nearly 100% of loathsome, repellent dickheads. There’s simply no way to sugarcoat an out-and-out asshole like Newt Gingrich. As is the case with Sarah Palin, the guy has simply overstayed his welcome. Like Mama Grizzly, he’s obviously got nowhere to go but… away.

Hopefully far, far away. Like Abbottabad.

Having said that, when Newt goes back to being an Amazon reviewer and giving phony “awards” to people dumb enough to pay him a “donation” for this “honor,” in some perverse sense, I’m going to miss that slimy amphibian.  I just love watching him squirm. There’s blood in the water after only a week spent officially on the campaign trail and already there’s very little that Gingrich can do to turn that around. Watching the sharks feast on his pudgy ass is fantastic.

In his latest effort to deflect attention away from his statements about the GOP’s plan to dismantle Medicare under the so-called “Ryan Plan”—seen as incendiary, if not traitorous by Republican stalwarts—Gingrich puked up some absolutely stunning jabberwocky on Greta Van Sustern’s Fox News show:

Anyone who quotes him? They’re lying!