The Law Offices of Michael A. Fiumara (specializing in personal injury, criminal defense, juvenile law, family law and education law) want to make it perfectly clear that they do not discriminate against anyone—and that includes dirty-talking “novelty” dolls. In the utterly confusing commercial embedded below Mr. Fiumara has apparently decided that the best possible advertisement for his services would be the R-rated testimony of a “Miss Candy Wolinsky” (I’m guessing on the spelling of her name here, but I don’t anticipate her complaining to my editor) who wants the attorney to take off his clothes so she can “go down” on him.

Unfortunately, Candy appears to be unable to control her voracious sexual appetite in the presence of one of the National Top 100 Trial Lawyers in America. Fiumara, always the consummate professional, rejects her rather too forward advances and gives her a referral—what a gentleman!

This guy really is a real attorney, so if you’re in Sonoma County, Marin County or North Bay region of California, I think you should hire him. He even respects slatternly potty-mouthed dolls and treats them with courtesy. What more of an endorsement do you need?
 

 
Via Above the Law, h/t to Eric M. Fink