Give Bruce what he wants!
This amusing footage of Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson recalling the time he demanded a German prostitute refund his money for a handjob that apparently did not provide a “happy ending” was part of an interview conducted with him for the 2009 documentary Monty Python: Almost The Truth (Lawyer’s Cut).
In the video (posted below), Dickinson carefully dances around the occasion when the band was on tour stop in the early 80s in Hamburg, Germany during which one of the members of Maiden’s road crew suggested that they pay a visit to the Eros Center (that at one time was rumored to be the largest collection of brothels in Europe). The two ended up walking along the Reeperbahn in Hamburg’s Red Light District and quickly found themselves upstairs “negotiating” the price of a handjob with a couple of German hookers. As (according to Dickinson who was 24 at the time) this was his “first time” attempting to exchange currency for the procurement of sex, it turns out he wasn’t very good at it. During the deliberations regarding the twenty-minutes of good-times the headbangers were hoping to enjoy, Dickinson asked if the time slot could accommodate more than one “shag” (a British term for “intercourse” for those of you who have never seen an Austin Powers film) in the event that they were able to get their “willies working again.” I’ll leave the rest of the story to Bruce to relay as I don’t want to spoil the fantastic punchline.
Bruce flipping through Playboy looking for trouble.
If you’re wondering why Dickinson was included in the documentary—let me clear that up for you. For years the band has played the Python sing-along “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” (from the 1979 film Monty Python’s Life of Brian) at the end of their shows over the PA—and as a massive fan I’ve whistled my way out of a few Maiden gigs since my teens and most recently after the band’s show here in Washington State in support of their sixteenth record, 2015’s Book of Souls. Dickinson is apparently a huge Monty Python fan and in a video for Maiden’s 1988 hit “Can I Play With Madness” none other than Graham Chapman plays a cranky heavy metal hating art professor. Sadly it would be one of the last times Chapman would appear on screen before his untimely death in 1989. If you just said “ORLY” to that, I’ve posted the video for you to flashback in time to as well as Dickinson’s ribald tale of handjobs gone wrong.
Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson on the time he tried to get his money back from a German prostitute. Taken from the documentary ‘Monty Python: Almost the Truth (Lawyer’s Cut).’
The official video for the 1988 single ‘Can I Play with Madness’ starring Graham Chapman.
H/T: Thrash Hits
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Asking Iron Maiden to lip-sync is asking for trouble, basically