‘Is that a balloon in your hand or, are you just pleased to see me?’
Last Christmas, I gave you a selection of women posing by their seasonal fertility symbols. This year, I thought it’d be fun while we write our cards and drink eggnog to have a look at the festive shenanigans that go on all around the Christmas tree—from the mind-numbing boredom of the office party to the utter futility of opening up presents on Christmas morn.
Now, you may say, “Who gives a fuck about Christmas?” And I’d have to say right back at you fella, “Well, that’s not the right kind of attitude to have if you really want to be on Mr. Claus’s nice list. Talking like that is only going to get you a big lump of coal in your stocking.”
It’s quite easy to be cynical about the Holidays, but I have to be honest, I really like this time of year because I always get lots of free stuff. So, whatever you’re doing this holiday season, make sure you get free stuff too. And remember if you don’t like what you get, you can always sell it on eBay.
And now, here are the vintage photographs of people doing stuff at Christmas.
Bad Santa.
‘I keep getting this feeling somebody’s watching us…’
Something told Bart he was going to regret this in the morning.
That Christmas, Eleanor was determined to get what she really wanted from Santa.
Once again, it was that time of year when the Enfields indulged in a drug-fueled orgy and sacrificed another plastic reindeer to Satan.
At the McFarlane’s eggnog party, Margaret became quietly aware of the futility of her own existence.
That Christmas, Santa brought Brad a family to match his tie.
‘Do you like gladiator movies?’
Most kids were lucky to get a puppy.
Little Jimmy couldn’t hide his disappointment when he opened his giant Christmas present.
As the drugs kicked in, it slowly dawned on Ellery that he was the only guest at Moira’s party.
Norman got yet another jersey for Christmas. He was now beginning to suspect that maybe Santa wasn’t real.
Meanwhile, at the office party: ‘Jake, I think your wife’s here.’
Via Vintage Everyday.
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Vintage photographs of women posing with their pagan fertility symbols
A treasury of Bettie Page Christmas memories - NSFW
Bizarre and inexplicable vintage Christmas cards
Santa knows when you’ve been wanking: Rude and offensive Christmas cards (NSFW)
Salvador Dali’s Christmas cards