If you’re into “decorational defecations,” have I got the piece of crap for you, bucko. In fact, it may be considered the king of decorational defecations! It’s called the “Archimedean Turd” and it’s damned near perfect-looking, if you ask me.

If you’re curious about the turd’s geometry, here is its formula, below:

The turds’ geometry is based on the combination of an Archimedean spiral (r = a + bθ) and the Golden Ratio / Phi in triangles (a = 1, b = √φ, c = φ). The latter proportion is found in Egyptian Pyramids.

The “Archimedean Turd” comes in 18K plated gold for a mere $350 or in a regular matte charcoal porcelain for only $20. It’s entirely up to you and your preference for turds.

I honestly wouldn’t know what to do with this if I got one, although this golden bowel movement might make for a shitty paperweight?

 

 
via Boing Boing

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
How to make poop Emoji hair
Let Charles Mingus help you with your cat poop problems
South Korea’s poop-themed coffeeshop
Wild Japanese cartoons: ‘Poop Genie’ and ‘Bottom Biting Bug’